Facebook COO: "**** the bad boys in your youth, marry the good guy nerd"

[hand2handking]

[h1]Sheryl Sandberg: 'Marry the nerds and the good guys'[/h1]
Chloe Pantazi, INSIDER
May 5, 2017, 2:19 PM

Four years ago, Facebook's Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg wrote a groundbreaking book calling for women to "lean in" to their careers.

In a recent interview, she suggested that women should be doing the same with their relationships.

When a Financial Times reporter asked Sandberg what she should be looking for in a relationship, the executive had a brilliant response.

"The guys who want an equal relationship," she said. "Guys who want to support your career. You have a great career."

Pressed by the reporter who was eager to know how to find these men, who Sandberg called "the good guys," the exec offered a simple but effective nugget of wisdom: Ask them.

That's right. When you go on a date, be upfront, and ask the person if he is one of these "good guys" who wants an equal relationship and will support you in your career.

While this might seem like too serious a question to ask on a casual first date, Sandberg recommends asking early, and "not [being] afraid of offending."

"If they're going to be offended by the answer, you don't want to date them anyway."

Here's a more in-depth excerpt from the interview:

"'You can date whoever you want, but you should marry the nerds and the good guys,' she advised. You dated the bad guys? I ask. 'A little bit.'

"I tell her I'm 30 and unmarried: who should I be looking for? 'The guys who want an equal relationship. Guys who want to support your career. You have a great career,' she said. Embracing the idea of Sandberg as agony aunt, I ask how you tell who the good guys are. 'You ask and you ask early and you are not afraid of offending. If they're going to be offended by the answer, you don't want to date them anyway.'"

http://www.businessinsider.com/sheryl-sandbergs-best-advice-for-career-women-2017-5

thoughts? 

 

[lamekilla]

*sniff sniff* Do I smell a *****

 

[slighted]

Genius move.

Get G'd out by all the bad boys and then marry a rich nerd who you don't respect and feel no tinglez for.

 

[Mark Antony]

Y'all never met women before?

 

[Deleted member 42060]

There is what like 30% gg out there, and how many are married. If all women went after goodguys, there woulda been lots of single girls[emoji]128512[/emoji]

 

[gentrification]

Y'all never met women before?

 

[$tatus $ymbol]

Meh women gone be women. At a certain point you get indifferent to their whole existence besides the P

 

[SC kid]

Have never had a woman ask me that lol

 

[tommyicerocking]

AWALT

 

[suavamente]

Y'all never met women before?

/thread

 

[RIP sleazyy]

Y'all never met women before?

I'm sayin

 

[hand2handking]

she too old to be kickin that kind of knowledge

with age supposed to come wisdom to say make better judgement in youth

 

[Chiron]

Every bad boy started out as a good guy until some "what can you do for me" leech like this one came... got what they wanted and went on to someone else's soul sucked bad boy. Women are pretty much an infectious virus that men become immune to by building up a resistance after they catch feelings and get burned or should i say inflamation of the feels. 

What does support your career even mean? Chick is the COO of FB and probably still expects you to bust out the wallet after every meal, but doesn't want to fulfill domestic wife like gender roles because she's a "career" woman. Always equal freedoms and decision making .. but never equal sacrifice with these types.  So grab the simp dude who worships P enough to do all the work and sacrifice whatever so she can remain independent... and make no mistake she settled for the nerd so once she can walk with 1/2 his wealth.. it'll be back to the bad boys.

 

[Peep Game]

Y'all never met women before?

 

[wayniac211]

Meh... look what happened to FBI thot.

 

[sooperhooper]

Crazy how women flock to the guys that don't give a s*** about women... then in turn get mad because he doesn't give a s*** about her.

 

[ninjahood]

your goal as men if you TRULY ARE a good guy is to never be da mark da thot decides to retire with, make sure you never accept her "reformed ways" when you know ol'girl was bussing it open for goons in her whole prime.

This also helps you to basically STAY AWAY from broads who got kids, da bad boy they ended up having a kid with ≠ father material & they looking for that in da lame.

 

[rrlegend]

get maried breh's

 

[nazdrowie]

@ having a career anymore...

no one is going to have any sort of careers with automation taking over just about every industry 

 

[301216baller]

your goal as men if you TRULY ARE a good guy is to never be da mark da thot decides to retire with, make sure you never accept her "reformed ways" when you know ol'girl was bussing it open for goons in her whole prime.

This also helps you to basically STAY AWAY from broads who got kids, da bad boy they ended up having a kid with ≠ father material & they looking for that in da lame.

 

[301216baller]

women are some crazy ppl 

 

[VARNELL HILL]

 
Some of yall in this thread are jaded af

Forreal. 

 

[antidope]

Lean In was a dope book. Read it on my mother's advice. Would receommend it. All the philosophies apply to any minority, not just women.

 

[hand2handking]

Time’s Up on Men Telling Single Women How to Be Worthy of Marriage

Pastor John Gray speaking at an event in Houston on Feb. 3, 2017 (Marcus Ingram/Getty Images for BET)

https://www.theroot.com/time-s-up-on-men-telling-single-women-how-to-be-worthy-1822310194

The straights are at it again.

Over the weekend, singer Ciara caused an internet stir when she posted on Instagram a clip from a sermon by Houston’s Lakewood megachurch pastor John Gray telling single women why they’re not married.



“Too many women want to be married but you’re walking in the spirit of ‘girlfriend,’” Pastor Gray said.

After playfully imitating the pain of women who come to him upset because they’ve been doing everything “right” but still aren’t married, he blamed Scripture for this advice he gave:

“Here’s what the Scripture says: He that finds a wife finds a good thing. ... You’re not a wife when I marry you, you’re a wife when I find you,” he said, adding his own interpretation to Proverbs 18:22.

“A ‘wife’ is not the presence of a ring, it’s the presence of your character,” he said. “Ask the Lord to deliver you from that spirit [of ‘girlfriend’], and carry yourself like you’re already taken, and I promise you, when you carry yourself like a wife, a husband will find you.”

Sweet Jesus.

Ciara rightfully got dragged for sharing this video and adding the caption, “#LevelUp,” at that. If she didn’t know that it’s bad form to shame single women for not being married—like she herself was only a few years ago—and to suggest that being married is on a higher plane of existence, she learned Sunday.

And there is still a conversation to be had about women internalizing and perpetuating sexism. But since CiCi went on to explain on Instagram that what she meant by “#LevelUp” was that it came not in the form of a husband but in the form of finding self-love in God (sure, Jan!), I’ll save that convo for another day.

Men—and especially pastors—we need to talk.

First, let me say, from my interactions with Pastor Gray, he’s a very nice man. But this excerpt is layers of wrong and dangerous.

If women are out here crying about something that is causing them a very deep pain—feeling invisible, unworthy of romantic love—mocking that pain is cruel. Manipulating it is worse.

There is no such thing as having the “spirit of a girlfriend,” or carrying yourself “like a wife.” It’s just another iteration of the sexist dichotomy and hierarchy of women, the same tired Madonna-***** complex: the good kind of woman vs. the bad kind.

Isn’t it fascinating how the book of Proverbs, written by a man who “found” 700 wives and 300 concubines—the Steve Harvey of marriage advice, in his day—is still being used thousands of years later to make women feel like they’re only one of two kinds of women: the virtuous, worthy “wife” or the unworthy and “unwifeable”?

If no “husband” has “found” a woman yet—assuming that she wants to be found—it’s not because churches don’t intentionally create the kind of men who value an actual equal partnership over subjugation; it’s not because there are statistically more black women with higher levels of education and income than their male counterparts, which can cause issues in pairing off; it’s not because some women do not desire marriage at all or do not desire marriage to a man; it’s not because a woman’s life might have more purpose beyond being married (surprise!).

No, it must be a reflection of a woman’s character, something she’s doing wrong.

That is a sick thing to tell a woman who already feels unworthy and unlovable. It is vile that even the church where she worships tells her that it’s right to let the way men are treating her determine her worth and to suggest that God is cool with that.

That’s the implication given when a woman is “promised” that a “husband will find you” as soon as she changes her ways and deserves to be found.

Be for real.

Even married husbands have no problem “finding” single women (and it has nothing to do with a woman’s “spirit”). So let’s stop pretending that married people are some elevated and virtuous class of worthy people.

Instead, let me remind cisgender, heterosexual people that getting married is neither difficult nor an accomplishment. Ask Britney Spears and that random dude she married at a Vegas drive-thru in the early aughts. It’s just another in a series of life choices that people make.

Marriage may very well be special to the individual people who are in it, but it is not an inherently special institution to aspire to, or one that someone “deserves.” The many different kinds of marriages in the Bible attest to this (and the least “special” kind is the one where if you rape her, you buy her).

Jesus never married, and the apostles Paul and Peter both ditched their wives to #LevelUp and focus solely on spreading the good news of Jesus. So, what’s the truth about marriage for a Christian?

The truth is, singleness is not a woman disease that a husband cures. It’s not a holding pattern or a phase until you’ve fixed all your damage and become lovable enough to ascend to a higher status. How does that message even square with Christ’s message of our inherent worth by birthright? It doesn’t.

After all, Jesus, a revolutionary, lived to dismantle hierarchies and elevated women to positions of authority and agency beyond what their misogynistic cultures would allow or encourage. When are these pastors going to follow suit?

How about now. The next time a woman comes crying about why she isn’t married yet, pastors can tell her the truth. That God created her with her own agency and her own purpose that goes beyond whoever she might marry and whatever children she might have. Equip her to break a toxic cycle of looking for male approval as a sign of her worthiness. Affirm her desire for romantic and sexual love, and also show her how to value her platonic relationships as much as she would value any romantic ones. Equip her to go find her purpose.

And to ensure that patriarchal societal barriers don’t get in the way of a woman becoming who God created her to be, teach men to value women as full people with their own agency and purpose outside of men. Deconstruct the dangerous complementarian myth that women exist to be helpmates and mules for whatever man deems them “valuable” enough. Teach men that they do not have the right to define any woman’s value and that marriage with them is not a prize to win but simply a negotiation of terms. Tell them to sit down, be humble.

Because men have never faced and will never face the societal pressure women historically have faced to be married. Unlike women, men have never had their literal value inextricably linked to their marital status. Women, since time immemorial, were seen as literally worthless and discarded if their fathers couldn’t marry them off, and then again if they couldn’t bear children for their husbands.

That fear of not being good enough for marriage—the one thing that could give women a potentially “secure” life in a patriarchal, oppressive world—has been passed down to women from generation to generation. This is not your history, men. So why are you talking?

Time’s up on those days.

If you’re not helping to dismantle patriarchal oppression of women and nonbinary people, at least get out of our way. And you can start by leaving your advice for women on how to become “wives” right where Ciara left that mumbling rapper—in the past.

 

[Top Boy]

Meh women gone be women. At a certain point you get indifferent to their whole existence besides the P

Once I finally learned this lesson my life changed