- 4,527
- 17
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2002
thanks all. i've decided to take the L. I wasn't planning on talking to her after we graduate in a few weeks anyways.
but, I will be grading her business law test next week, so she might end up with the L instead : )
youre sounding really salty right now.
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i'll start with the cliff notes:
dated girl for about 2 months, last week she says "lets just be friends," this Friday she's my date for a formal event for school. I want her back- what should I do/avoid doing? I was thinking no flowers & just keep it cool & non-chalant, just "catch up" at dinner & then hang out w/ friends while out, but not be overly chatty/flirty w/ other women.
a little background info:
she had a guy (long distance) while we were together. i thought things were going well until last week she said that i "didn't know how to handle her." I told her next day that she had to choose between the two of us by 2/14 (i then got rid of the deadline, & she said "good, that was too cliche. i am still getting to know you"). When she said "lets just be friends," it was via email, and she texted later that night that we should get together & talk once we collect our thoughts. i sit next to her in class 4 days a week (can't change seats now either), but we haven't had the chance to have that conversation (just friendly banter). she asked me to have dinner last night, but i had gone home for the day. she still texts me a lot (slightly more flirtatious this week then last), but i feel like i am slipping into the friend/dead zone.
i'm not terribly concerned about the other guy (she sees him infrequently, although i imagine she'll now be seeing him next weekend for valentines day), and yes NT, I've caught feelings (I know, I've already lost). She doesn't have many friends at school (has good friends from high school/college), and has just moved out of her parents' home to a new condo by herself (she wanted to have dinner at the condo last night). We're in law school (yes, i know i'm in law school & i can't figure this out). I was thinking of making myself scarce for a bit, but my main concern is that if I do, she'll just close the door and square things up with the other guy. Also, I haven't made it clear to her that I'd be okay w/ playing #2 (I just recently decided this) & that I'm not going to be satisfied with just being friends (but I don't want to do this on Friday).
So, NT- On Friday, she & I are going to dinner (just us), and then to the event. What should I do/not do Friday & moving forward from there.
EDIT- yes, I know its a bleak situation, i should just take the L, & i have other options, but for arguments sake, what would you do?
& yes, I've posted this pic before.
(she's on the right)
in law school together.
few dates, i've slept over twice, only "snuggling" though. since she found out i'm interested, i've slept over once. she's got a"special friend" back home, not overly serious.
i know i've messed up to be at this point, but can i get some advice where to go from here?
Update- 10/5
i guess i didn't come with whole story. anyhow, no i haven't kissed her. & this is the real pathetic part- both times when i was leaving in themorning, i asked her to give me a kiss. (I've told her in the past that "I don't have to work for anything.") she said no both times.
saw her at school today- gave me a nice smile but i was running late so i kept it moving.
Anyways, point of these details is her message on gchat for last day or so: "you don't kiss boys, boys kiss you." a quote from mad men, a showshe likes
so, does this mean that i've pretty much have her & that i'm good to go?
UPDATE- 10/19
thanks for all your advice so far. at a crossroads, sort of:
last monday, after our 1st exam, we were at the bar and i told her i was done w/ playing games & that i wanted her. we went back to her place, later wentto another bar & then i stayed over. all festivities except smashing occur.
last friday, we're out with a group of friends. go to a couple bars. she pays me no attention while out, i lose track of her, eventually i notice her,she's dancing with other guys, meanwhile ive been dancing with other women. she eventually comes over, says i'm ready to leave, we leave. on way backto her place, she says wow "steph and brittany were all over you" (not at same time). I said, oh, I didn't think anyone would notice. She saysyou're 6'5." We get into bed, and she says: "I don't want to mess things up with Brian" (her special friend). I respond "ah,you even said it yourself, he's just your special friend, not your boyfriend." she acknowledges this. Yet, she then refuses to give me any. We *sigh*only snuggle, but she lets me feel her up.
What now NT?
here you are, beasts. on the right
Same girl different story?
