Has the #metoo movement gone too far?Aziz Ansari sexual misconduct claims & "enthusiastic consent"

[DB Cooper]

Dudes going to start wearing body cams when they go out on dates.

 

[アミーゴ]

But wait....the reports explicitly state she never said no, and was relying on him picking up her non-verbal cues.

Nah, in the story she claims to have said no?

 

[macbk]

If Aziz is in the right here, I really hope Master of None isn't shut down. Show is the goods and from what I've read it seems as if this 'Grace' chick is trying to get one over on him.

When Ansari told her he was going to grab a condom within minutes of their first kiss, Grace voiced her hesitation explicitly. “I said something like, ‘Whoa, let’s relax for a sec, let’s chill.’” She says he then resumed kissing her, briefly performed oral sex on her, and asked her to do the same thing to him. She did, but not for long. “It was really quick. Everything was pretty much touched and done within ten minutes of hooking up, except for actual sex.”

Man...... this chick .

 

[danikerhino]

Meh I feel you. But I’ve been on many dates where the date becomes more fun and more alcohol is consumed. A great time turns into sexual exchange and then you get this exact message. Scary ****. I mean you sound like your speaking from a older man POV in which I am too. So I know what you mean but I was speaking to the 21-26 year old crowd.

This is true, it's easier said than done and of course you can't be on your PS and Qs the entire time. But, at that moment you make your move and she verbally or physically tells you no, you could start to contemplate your actions. Personally, if I seriously was feeling her, I would ask if she was ready than they ALWAYS gave me their reasons and I backed off except for once when a girl was ok with it. For that particular girl, I asked her if she was sure and she said yes so I went for it. In that moment when you are putting on protection, it should give them enough time to reflect on their decisions. As you said though, there are a ****load of variables that can happen and the woman can end up not liking it anyways and telling you she didn't want to or felt obligated. Lucily, I was instinctive enough to always look at a girl's/woman's eyes and body language to know enough is enough. I was also always polite and straightforward so I never presented myself as an ******* or arrogant prick.

 

[htg designs]

You got transformers to ya left, T1000s to your right, and an old hook up that can ruin your future in front of you. What a time...

There are realistic robots that men can smash now... It's over for women.

Screen name to post...

i need to start a me too movement bout this rent I gotta pay

I don’t feel too enthusiastic bout paying it

My chest ... It burns

Tf y’all talkin bout robots? Ya hand broken?

That frugal perspective. Stay woke.

 

[wayniac211]

When your lady don’t wanna fuh, I tell her imma beat my meat right on spot. They hate that **** lol

 

[Peep Game]

Had Assiz been patient for like an extra 30 minutes, he could have gotten the butt and the top without looking like a desperate thirsty loser.

 

[sooperhooper]

How the hell she gonna bring up 'non verbal cues' as an argument as if she can't actually talk. Did you say no, stop or anything similar? Did you leave?

 

[gil23]

Had Assiz been patient for like an extra 30 minutes, he could have gotten the butt and the top without looking like a desperate thirsty loser.

he probably had another female line up after that. cant waste no time

 

[pirateslaw]

#metoo claims another one. Seal is accused of kissing a woman (former neighbor) and groping her breasts.
And he just made some comments recently supporting the #metoo movement.

 

[Nawzlew]

feel like this whole situation was just an awkward sexual situation.

but lets be real sex can be awkward

but man when chick was talking about how she didn't get to choose her wine at dinner *** plz

 

[atlsfinest]

#metoo claims another one. Seal is accused of kissing a woman (former neighbor) and groping her breasts.
And he just made some comments recently supporting the #metoo movement.

From the looks of things it seems like the #metoo movement is cannibalizing itself. The moment someone speaks out about someone else being involved in or knowing about sexual misconduct, accusations against the first person arise. Part of me is like "isn't it convenient that the moment Seal called out Oprah, someone accused him of sexual assault", but another part of me thinks "dang, how rampant is sexual assault in Hollywood? how can there be dirt on so many men?"

I think on the road to completely fixing Hollywood's broken culture around sex, power and influence we will see some casualties. Men like Seal and Jeff Tambor (star of the show Transparent) are vehemently denying they did anything wrong but no one is listening too. It's almost like the shoe is on the other foot because women were ignored for so long.

 

[beacon ave south]

#metoo claims another one. Seal is accused of kissing a woman (former neighbor) and groping her breasts.
And he just made some comments recently supporting the #metoo movement.

Was her name Rose?

 

[tr1ll]

Too bad we don’t live in a country where you’re presumed innocent until proven guilty.

 

[atlsfinest]

If Aziz is in the right here, I really hope Master of None isn't shut down. Show is the goods and from what I've read it seems as if this 'Grace' chick is trying to get one over on him.



Man...... this chick .

ehhh to be fair, even after that he kept trying to kiss and grope her, its not he didn't keep trying. I'll admit Aziz was a grade A douchebag but I don't think it was assault.

 

[atlsfinest]

Too bad we don’t live in a country where you’re presumed innocent until proven guilty.

She never went to the police, there are no assault charges and Aziz pretty much admitted to it, all he said was "he misread things". He is innocent, she just wanted her story to get out.

 

[iamdef]

"dang, how rampant is sexual assault in Hollywood? how can there be dirt on so many men?"

I'm sure it's worse than what it being shown, but because of all of these questionable events are being brought up they may either be drowned out, ignored, or the women/men may feel because of all the wild accusations their real one won't be taken serious so they keep it to themselves longer.

Too bad we don’t live in a country where you’re presumed innocent until proven guilty.

Considering no one has been arrested and punished, we do*.
The public has the "right" to draw conclusions outside of what the law determines. Similar to OJ being found not guilty but the public believes fully that he did it.

 

[atlsfinest]

Another really good article about the Aziz thing:

http://www.katykatikate.com/2018/01/not-that-bad_15.html?m=1
http://www.katykatikate.com/2018/01/not-that-bad_15.html?m=1
Some excerpts:

Grace's story is so familiar that I laugh at it without smiling. It's the story of so much bad sex.

I have had my fair share of what I'd call "crappy dates." And what I call crappy dates looks an awful lot like what Grace calls sexual assault. It's like we went on the same dates, wrote down the same details, and told two very different stories.

Ansari's behavior, as it is described in the article, is ****ing awful and ordinary. So many men learn how to perform sex by watching porn, itself a performance of sex that for the most part treats women like props.

Women have had so much bad sex that our scale for sex has been skewed so it shows every ****ty sex encounter as 10 pounds less ****ty than it was.

Women have already taken enough of a painful personal inventory to be able to say #metoo; I am not eager to go back over what I've come to comfortably accept as "crappy hookups," or "****ty sex," and come to realize that yes, that was sexual assault too.

If we begin to call all sexual assault what it is, we will have to voluntarily admit more pain into our lives, pain that we have up to this point refused to let in the door. If we call this kind of sexual encounter an assault, then women who have been weathering what they call bad sex will suddenly have justification for the icky feelings and shame that follows them home in the cab. And yet, we'd really rather just hit the showers.

People are quick to label sex crimes as deviant or aberrant, but the truth is that sexual violence is socialized into us. Men are socialized to **** hard and often, and women are socialized to get ****ed, look happy, and keep quiet about it.

Aziz Ansari has been socialized.
And if we don't like the way socialized men do sex, then we need to take a hard look at our society, friend.

Now, I want to be clear. Ansari is 100% responsible for what he did. He behaved like a sexual bully who hurt and humiliated a woman while he acted out a fantasy that was his and his alone. He treated her like a prop. And if you don't understand why that's ****ty, ask yourself how much your hand enjoys jerking you off. Ansari is responsible for knowing better, and caring about whether his sexual partners are comfortable, safe, and enjoying themselves. Even though nobody ever taught him that's a "normal" way to do sex. It's his job to help change the normal.

As a woman, I am supposed to take what's given to me, to shrink my pain, ignore my bad feelings about what just happened, and generally be FINE WITH EVERYTHING! Also I have to have a good banana bread recipe.

 

[tr1ll]

Ain’t nobody checking up on these accusations. The court of public opinion is just as powerful, if not more powerful than the actual court of law. Especially, in Hollywood.

Anybody know if any charges been brought up on Kevin Spacey??

 

[tego calderon el abayarde]

My thing is, if any of yall is fooling around with a chick and she pulls out a toy that she wants to insert into your rectum, would you give off "nonverbal cues" that you didn't want that or would you say "No we ain't doin that"?

 

[iamdef]

The biggest challenge is being able to differentiate between the aggressor's intent and the victim's perception of intent.

Like I can think I'm being romantic or behaving in an acceptable manner but to her I could be behaving forceful or overly aggressive.

 

[dankenstien88]

This girl wasnt raped, she wasnt even violated. Both imply a perpetrator/villain who knew she didn't want things and continued anyway.

What happened to her was she didn't articulate her dissent, she relied on shoddy social cues to get her point across and thus was misunderstood, and she participated out of...politeness?...and then is claiming that she was violated.

She can claim that she "feels violated,"and she can feel that way if she wants. She can say she experienced sexual trauma, even. But that trauma was self inflicted, as she did nothing beyond physical cues and verbal "hints" to communicate that she didn't want to continue. If she felt violated, she could've actually said no, she could have left, she could have punched him in the throat, all of that wouldve been clear indicators , but instead she chose to be wishy washy and hope that the point got across, and then when her poor communication backfired, she blames him instead of taking responsibility for the fact that she didn't clearly express her dissent.

Her violation and trauma are self inflicted, and **** her for thinking that Aziz was supposed to decipher her bull**** instead of communicating clearly like an adult in the first place.

 

[daruma]

is it possible for her to catch a defamation case?

 

[moderndarwin]

I really really really hope this girl gets caught with a huge defamation case. Her and the scumbag snowflake that wrote the article. Moreso the girl that wrote the article actually

 

[iamdef]

is it possible for her to catch a defamation case?

I'm sure there's an attorney who would step up but who wants to be THAT GUY?