How to deal with a breakup during a tough time

[champ305]

just remember that this is TEMPORARY. you'll make up for it all when its over with

 

[crook]

Originally Posted by PoloLax

Originally Posted by Crook

Originally Posted by GrimlocK

You really need to focus on the big picture. This is a test of determination. If you can see yourself happy with your profession later on in life, then the sacrifice(s)/struggle(s) your going through now are worth it.

If not then you need to make a decision with how you want to approach your future if not sticking with dental school.

As for the ex...idk why you guys broke up...but if it was her fault then I think your letting the pressures of school, the distance from friends, and the social isolation you feel where you live right now impact your life too much because your focusing on them too much.

Free time is sometimes overrated. It's always better to pursue something of worth...trust me.

An ex is an ex...and even though you probably think she's the one for you, it's more likely theirs a better girl out there for you...but if I was in your situation a girl would be the least of my concerns. I would learn as much as I need to about my field so that my future prospects look better.

Don't short sell yourself.

People often quit something right before they achieve it because that last stretch is the hardest part.

Yeah, I really do feel like this is one of those moments that'll define me aka make or break me depending on how I approach it. I'll share some more details on the ex later when I have time, but lets just say (as wrong as I think I will eventually come to realize I am) that I think she really was the one (I know, one-itis, plenty more fish in the sea, if she was the one I was meant to be with she wouldn't have broken up with me) but I do think it'll be hard to find not only a girl with similar/better qualities as an individual but also someone with whom I could share so much chemistry.

  I was in the same boat. I don't know why she broke up with you, and to be honest I don't know why mine broke up with me. She said it wasn't working because of her schedule and my schedule and the fact that she was still in school etc. Fast  foward, she is now with someone who I believe is A LOT further away. I made the mistake of being there for her when we first split up and she did lead me into believing that maybe it would work out in the end. But obviously it didn't.

I felt the same way about her. I still think that I won't find someone better than her. However, there have been girls before her that I said the same thing about, and I ended moving on. Maybe this time, I'll find someone even better than my last.

What's difficult is I think we lost that sense of communication from being far away. It was difficult but I was very unhappy at the time and extremely tense and stressed. She asked me about it a few times and said that if I wasn't happy with myself ,how could she be happy. I don't blame her for leaving. I've also been anxious, stressed and tense and that turns girls away. Like I said I don't know if that's it.

One thing I will say is, I know my ex has moved on and I still think about her and I can't, and you can't think about your ex either. We think about the good times and we think about where we went wrong and if we did something different would it have been a different outcome. I'm starting to tell myself, if my ex really wasn't happy cause I was unhappy, then she obviously wasn't the one cause she wasn't there to stand tall by me when I needed someone to stand tall with me.

It sucks, but it's life.

Thanks for the reply man. I was also quite unhappy with myself at the time this was all happening, which validates the point that "if you can't be happy by yourself, you can't be happy in a relationship. The biggest challenge like you said is the attitude that you won't find someone better than her. Even during the few moments when I can side-step my emotions and think logically, I do believe that she was the "one". But I suppose like you said, if she really was the one, then she wouldn't abandon me at a time like this.

 

[pololax]

Originally Posted by Crook

Originally Posted by PoloLax

Originally Posted by Crook

Yeah, I really do feel like this is one of those moments that'll define me aka make or break me depending on how I approach it. I'll share some more details on the ex later when I have time, but lets just say (as wrong as I think I will eventually come to realize I am) that I think she really was the one (I know, one-itis, plenty more fish in the sea, if she was the one I was meant to be with she wouldn't have broken up with me) but I do think it'll be hard to find not only a girl with similar/better qualities as an individual but also someone with whom I could share so much chemistry.

  I was in the same boat. I don't know why she broke up with you, and to be honest I don't know why mine broke up with me. She said it wasn't working because of her schedule and my schedule and the fact that she was still in school etc. Fast  foward, she is now with someone who I believe is A LOT further away. I made the mistake of being there for her when we first split up and she did lead me into believing that maybe it would work out in the end. But obviously it didn't.

I felt the same way about her. I still think that I won't find someone better than her. However, there have been girls before her that I said the same thing about, and I ended moving on. Maybe this time, I'll find someone even better than my last.

What's difficult is I think we lost that sense of communication from being far away. It was difficult but I was very unhappy at the time and extremely tense and stressed. She asked me about it a few times and said that if I wasn't happy with myself ,how could she be happy. I don't blame her for leaving. I've also been anxious, stressed and tense and that turns girls away. Like I said I don't know if that's it.

One thing I will say is, I know my ex has moved on and I still think about her and I can't, and you can't think about your ex either. We think about the good times and we think about where we went wrong and if we did something different would it have been a different outcome. I'm starting to tell myself, if my ex really wasn't happy cause I was unhappy, then she obviously wasn't the one cause she wasn't there to stand tall by me when I needed someone to stand tall with me.

It sucks, but it's life.

Thanks for the reply man. I was also quite unhappy with myself at the time this was all happening, which validates the point that "if you can't be happy by yourself, you can't be happy in a relationship. The biggest challenge like you said is the attitude that you won't find someone better than her. Even during the few moments when I can side-step my emotions and think logically, I do believe that she was the "one". But I suppose like you said, if she really was the one, then she wouldn't abandon me at a time like this.

Very true. And to be honest you never know what can happen. If she was the one, she'll be back. Give her some space and let her figure it out. It's hard to do, but if you pressure her, it will just make her stay away even more. 

Stay up and good luck. If you have a real close friend be with that person as much as possible. You can laugh and joke about it, but when you do start to feel bad a friend will always cheer you up. It's helped me alot.