Moments That Made You Realize You’re Washed

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Mar 8, 2016
Tried to dunk a couple weeks ago and got hung.
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Had no clue what Fortnite was until Drake played with a kid who apparently makes over 500k a month on Twitch.
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Went out with the homie Saturday and before we get into the spot this girl in the parking lot shoots her shot. After talking for a bit she pulls her phone out and says what’s your Snap. I tell her I don’t have Snap (I do but don’t use it). She replies “you don’t have Snap?”
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Playing ball, I can barely touch rim now.

Cannot run a mile without crippling knee pain.

Got dumped once by a fat nerdy 26 year old chick who basically worked at Walmart and didn't have a drivers license.

So yeah I'm washed as an athlete and as an irresistible sex icon.
 
When I made a Matrix reference while teaching my students and got nothing but blank stares back.
When I made a MySpace reference while teaching my students and got nothing but blank stares back.
When I made an AskJeeves reference while teaching my students and got nothing but blank stares back.
When I made a......
 
I was walking to work from the train station last week and a group of kids were coming up from the station stairs across the street from me. One girl comes out from the top of the steps and I'm assuming she was on snapchat and was recording herself saying "hey! it's your girl ______". It wasn't even 8 o'clock in the morning. In my head I was like lil girl getcho *** to school and put that **** away :lol:
 
When I made a Matrix reference while teaching my students and got nothing but blank stares back.
When I made a MySpace reference while teaching my students and got nothing but blank stares back.
When I made an AskJeeves reference while teaching my students and got nothing but blank stares back.
When I made a......
:lol: being a teacher gin have u feeling washed no matter how young you are
 
I now know why athletes take PEDS. I hoop twice a week and would put up numbers in an over 30 league. However, when I get switched on to one of those frail young thundercats with the DS5 (official hairstyle of March Madness) by life flashes before my eyes. Knowing your vulnerable to the drive, pull up 3 pointer, or being dunked on is scary.
 
Every dance after the Bobby Shmurda **** look like gymnastics to me, dont what that **** is called or how to do any of it.

When I watch basketball and get annoyed at the number of 3 point attempts

When I've looked at the XXL freshman covers for like the last 7 years or when I tell people I like lyricism and the Foreign Exchange group
 
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