NT true "doo doo" stories

[Renaldo Balkman]

So my buddy (300+ pound Samoan) goes over to his girlfriends house to meet her family for the first time. It's Hawaii, so everyone is kicking it in the garage having drinks, eating food, and listening to music. He is having a blast and going to town on some fresh poke (raw fish with seasonings) and ice cold heinekens... suddenly, he gets the bubble guts.

He sneakily makes his way to the outside garage bathroom and starts destructing. He told me, and I quote, "everything came flying out in one fut. bra, the water even splashed my balls", so obviously he had to wipe a lot. He then went to flush, and Ben Stiller'd the toilet. The doo doo water started coming up, fast, and he couldn't shut the water off because the valve was on the other side of the wall. The brown sludge made it's way out the door, and started seaping into the garage where everyone was kicking it.

He took the L, came out apologizing, cleaned up the best he could. Then, decided to just start walking home once everything was clean...

His girl came chasing after him, and walked with him back assuring him that it wasn't a big deal... this took place 5 years ago, and the crazy thing is, they are married today


_________________

doo doo stories make me laugh every single time I hear one...

let's go NT

 

[Nawzlew]

Props to him for admitting it.

But bruh.

 

[odog24]

i was like 5 and had to go the bathroom at the babysitters house and idk why i didnt just go inside. so i went in their backyard and i still remember some of the poop grazed my LA gear kicks

 

[Thierry Henry]

son....

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

That's nasty!!

 

[chillbroswaggin]

Luckily I haven't had to many but my boy once got the mud butt after leaving buffalo wild wings. Ran from the parking lot to the bathroom and did his business to find there was no toilet paper or even paper towel to be found. Dude later tells me it came down to using his boxers, beater or socks. He went with the socks

 

[rusty shackelford]

When I was five I slept in a tiny side bed in my mom's room.
One night I wake up, and I guess I had massive diarrhea in my sleep.
It was a veritable lake of stink.
I was the meat in a foul minestrone soup.

 

[coolgraymemo]

I have some stories that I'll type up once I get home.

 

[djprestige21]

[COLOR=#red]Its not much of a story but I'm dropping a deuce from my laptop right now.

We out here.[/COLOR]

 

[coolgraymemo]

Happened last quarter ~

Ate breakfast and drove to class. Got there around 8:30am for my 9:00 class. I had classes back to back from 9:00am to 1:00pm.
Around 9:30am I start having stomach pain and the bubble guts. I ride it out and plan to poop after class. Well, I somehow forget about having to poop and go to my next class.
It's now ~ 10:15am and I'm having a midterm; all of a sudden, I get the bubble guts. Bad. I hurry up and finish my exam. I'm literally running into the building next door looking for a restroom. I go to the one on the floor I am and it is dirty. I run upstairs and the stalls are both occupied. I run to the basement and there's someone else in there (I knew it was going to be bad and I just wanted to be left alone). I proceed to run to the building across.
I'm frantically looking for a restroom and can't find anything. I end up finding a small, hidden restroom (ended up being for performers visiting school). I run in there. I take out the toilet seat cover thing and am literally shaking trying to rip it open. I was so nervous/anxious that I ripped it into two piece. **** is getting real. I manage to clean rip a second one. I throw it onto the toilet and start unloading. I want to say it was about two minutes of nothing but water. I start getting uncomfortable because the toilet is about four inches taller than all other toilets I've used. I was literally on my tip-toes while pooping.
As I'm emptying my stomach, performers rush in, all trying to use the toilet. Meanwhile, I'm trying to tell them it's occupied, finish pooping, and making sure I don't fart in the process.

When the coast is clear, I get up to wipe. I knew it was going to be a multi wiper from experience. I reach to wipe, and it came out clean. . I'm like "I must not be wiping correctly." I try again and it's clean.

I felt uncomfortable for the next classes.

the end.

 

[young handsome]

Dawg... my mom took me to the music store called Coconuts... prior to going,,, earlier in the day, I ate an entire box of gogurt...

Stomach started rumblin bruh.... the store didn't have a bathroom, so I ran across the street to use the one at Milos

The bathroom was so ******g disgusting... clogged up toilet. pissy floors... doodoo, but I had to **** badly so I said **** it.

The seats was nasty so I squated and took the nastiest dump of my life... booboo flyin everywhere... I walked out of Milos on 100% stealth mode as fast as i could

 

[rowdyrocket25]

Lmao, these stories have got me dyinggg.

 

[Ofc.Phan]

the best is AC Slatering, when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair.

 

[king0fthis23]

Long time ago when I was like 12-13, me and my cousin were swimmIng and my dumbass thought it would be funny to just dropped a deuce. Like bubble guts crap. And whats really messed up was the guy who cleans the pool weekly was gonna come the next day. I didn't even bother to clean it and I know he would've seen the mess, it was a small pool. . Never even apologized. Man I was messed up.

 

[ohmygosher]

I had bubble guts and pooped in my car last night. Leather seats FTW.

 

[shorty doo wop]

Dawg... my mom took me to the music store called Coconuts... prior to going,,, earlier in the day, I ate an entire box of gogurt...

Stomach started rumblin bruh.... the store didn't have a bathroom, so I ran across the street to use the one at Milos

The bathroom was so ******g disgusting... clogged up toilet. pissy floors... doodoo, but I had to **** badly so I said **** it.

The seats was nasty so I squated and took the nastiest dump of my life... booboo flyin everywhere... I walked out of Milos on 100% stealth mode as fast as i could

All that dairy

 

[shorty doo wop]

the best is AC Slatering, when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair.

 

[datznasty]

They just renovated the bathrooms at one of the buildings I work in so that the doors come down further to solve this problem. I don't deuce at work much unless it's that kind of emergency, but this was a welcome change.

 

[coolgraymemo]

I was in Mexico a while back. I had to be around fourteen or fifteen at the time.

My cousin and I were walking around and my stomach started rumbling. I really needed to go. Neither of us knew anyone there (we were in the Downtown part of the city) so we were just running around looking for a public restroom. The restaurants didn't allow non-customers to use the restroom so we kept looking.
We ended up in this tequila store where we had bought a lot of liquor before. We ordered a bottle and I asked if I could please use the restroom. The guy obliged only after we bought like $50 worth of tequila.

Restroom is an overstatement. It was a toilet in the middle of their storage room. The room was at the back of the store and you could see into it through the outside doorway. There was no door to close. While sitting there, I could see the people walking on the sidewalk. I ended up going with my pants only partly down. I wiped like twenty times and purposefully left it all there without flushing (payback for making us buy stuff).

It was bad.

 

[shorty doo wop]

One time in Morocco I felt like I had to drop a deuce while I was at some internet cafe and I go to the bathroom and the **** wasnt even a toilet it was just a hole in the floor and a bottle of water next to it to "flush" it down the pipe :x

I tried going to a cafe on the same block and they wasnt havin it so I held it and asked my aunt to take me home

 

[leftcoastin]

I was the meat in a foul minestrone soup.

im glad i found this thread now instead of in the morning when I'm hungover. :x

will contribute later. someone post that NT classic with ol boy hitting the matrix in the shower

 

[Renaldo Balkman]

Patriots vs Panthers Superbowl while I was in college...

I bet my room mate on the game, loser had to duece in his pants following the game (no matter how long it took)...

I took the Panthers and they covered (he gave me the wrong spread)...

He did it in front of the entire party, but the crazy thing is that he had to sit on the toilet with his pants on cause it was the only way he could mentally crap himself :x

 

[ohmygosher]

What happened to the regular $5 bet?

 

[coolgraymemo]

I love non-wipers.

 

[datznasty]