NT's Fatherless Children

[djprestige21]

Ive noticed a trend that the majority of girls who I've hit within a couple days or had on drunk speed dial at 3am was raised on solo parenting. Not that there aren't *%+%#@ who live in happy families but its just a lot more likely to happen. It really hits home to a kids self-esteem.

At the same time though if the kid is strong enough to rise through the pain without being constantly batted down that kid will be that much more successful in life, but the percentage of that happening is low.

 

[redd spyder]

pretty much what everyone else said. I didnt grow up with my dad but that makes me want to be a dad so much more for some reason

 

[aaronj]

No, I could never do my children like my father did me and my sister. When I have kids that is.

 

[j dilla himself]

Originally Posted by REDd SPYDER

pretty much what everyone else said. I didnt grow up with my dad but that makes me want to be a dad so much more for some reason

cosign.

 

[superantigen]

Simply stated, your friend is just a coward who is both afraid and ill equipped, psychologically speaking, to handle those responsibilities that come with being a father.

He's a loser and you would do well to ex-communicate him from your life; of course, if you can convince him to be proactive in assuming the role of "father", then all is not lost. But if he's still shucking his responsibility, then dead the deadbeat.


...

 

[bibby2peja]

my daughter was born on the 17th and i will never leave her iwent through it but she wont

 

[pip777]

Originally Posted by iBlink

My dad wasn't around and I turned out fine. But I'm definitely gonna be there in my son's or daughter's life.

Same here.

 

[10 piece nuggets]

Pops died when I was 8.

Mom did a great job, I have alot of good values and morals.

I always wanted to know what it was like if he was around though.

 

[yungsatellite]

!%*# my father, he is a spineless coward

I don't harbor the hate I once had for him....

But I can never respect him...

I do still wish to have a convo and express that to him

 

[sooperhooper]

The fact that my dad wasn't around gives me motivation to be the best father that i can be. i don't have kids now tho.

 

[lui kang817]

I think any and all "men" who arent in their child/childrens life are the biggest waste of space on this earth. There is no justifiable (sp) reason to not atleast be around, its not all about finances. I was raised my mom and she did the best she could but a woman cant teach a boy how to be a man, dad got murdered when I was young but prior to his death he did nothing for me....I take that back, he's the reason I am the father I am now. I just turned 22 and my son is 2 and as long as I live I will strive to be the father that he wasnt. DEADBEAT DADS FTMFL !!!

And yes I'm Mad !! 

 

[danzinreallife]

Damn, if anything that should be an insane incentive for him to be a part of his kids life.

Smh. That's a @@@@*# up mentality to say the least.

 

[queencitysneakerqueen]

Originally Posted by ThrowedInDaGame

Originally Posted by dunks87

I was talking to a friend who told me that her brother who had a son refused to get to know him and he justified this by saying "why should my son get to know me or have me in his life, when my father didn't want to be apart of mine?"

Knowing how it feels to grow up without one of your parents could you inflict that pain onto your child out of spite from your own past?

Anyone who seriously follows this logic is an idiot.

I usually hear the opposite from my friends who grew up with no fathers. "I'm going to be in my child's life because my father was not in mine".

This

 

[ldj]

Lui Kang817 wrote:

---

I think any and all "men" who arent in their child/childrens life are the biggest waste of space on this earth. There is no justifiable (sp) reason to not atleast be around, its not all about finances. I was raised my mom and she did the best she could but a woman cant teach a boy how to be a man, dad got murdered when I was young but prior to his death he did nothing for me....I take that back, he's the reason I am the father I am now. I just turned 22 and my son is 2 and as long as I live I will strive to be the father that he wasnt. DEADBEAT DADS FTMFL !!!

And yes I'm Mad !! 

   Im not a deadbeat dad but i overstand why some do this especially in black community. And as far as it aint about finances, thats so far from the truth. It is basically the main reason most guys dont. See the woman has the crutch of family help, and an ever paying,endless money supply in the govt.

First we dont know what kinda woman she is, she maybe full of drama, serious issues, doing everything in her power to destroy/ruin his life. Aslo he may not be emotionally/finacially ready o be apart of his kid life. Paying for a lawyer to get basic visitation, child support, getting a steady career/home to prove to the court he is in a good position to have joint custody.

Plus they are seriously cracking down on child support. 30 days liscence suspension, 90 days jail time. With this economy the way it is, its not for certain he will work a steady full time job all the time. See with her, if she doesnt she will be compensated via govt assistance. Him on the other hand will be sitting in someone privatized prison system, working for a few bucks an hour, trying to pay down on the child support.

Plus if he has this determination to not be a father, it may in fact be in the childs best interest he doesnt be involved, the only thing worse than a dead beat father is a father who doesnt have a interpolation/a close knit bond, personal relationship with the kid.

If he just a dad, simply because everyone says he should, or its the so called right thing to do, or just a dad from a fiscal point, the kid will realize this one day. And he will see it as his dad was there for him out of obligation, and not out of love.

I would tell you to tell your man that if he isnt going in this lifetime committment, whole-hearted, and truly for the love and devotion he has for the kid, then dont waste his time, and more importantly dont be a potential detriment to the kids life.

 

[youngtriz]

Now ain't nobody tell us it was fair
No love from my daddy cause the coward wasn't there
He passed away and I didn't cry, cause my anger
wouldn't let me feel for a stranger
They say I'm wrong and I'm heartless, but all along
I was lookin for a father he was gone

 

[thehavik]

Knowing how much i  have/am f'ed up because my old man wasnt there only makes me want to be a father that much more.

 

[krazy88s]

Originally Posted by iBlink

My dad wasn't around and I turned out fine. But I'm definitely gonna be there in my son's, or daughter's (God forbid), life.

 Knock it off, dude its old. This whole 'I pray everyday I dont have daughter because I know how they are' bit is old.

  

 

[dubstyledj]

pops decided that i wasn't worth staying around for...never really bothered me since mom played both roles for me...but i just had a son and from the moment you first hold your seed it completely changes you...iwould move mountains for that kid and that's something that will never change...i don't understand how someone could do that to a child...

 

[shabooyah1124]

Dad came in and out of my life, and me being naive i always gave him another chance. I swear if I see that man in public I'm going away in handcuffs and a back of a cop car.

 

[swoboydehteezy]

 

[Nouss]

I can't even click on that vid...it gets me everytime.

My question is why are so many people having children out of wedlock...and this isn't only an American problem.
Yes busting inside is the best feeling in the world but control yourselves.

Or is that not the problem...someone fill me in.

 

[kicktionair]

Originally Posted by enlightenedespot

I can't even click on that vid...it gets me everytime.

My question is why are so many people having children out of wedlock...and this isn't only an American problem.
Yes busting inside is the best feeling in the world but control yourselves.

Or is that not the problem...someone fill me in.

wedlock means nothing anymore

or whatever

 

[mister doitnice]

My father pretty much came in and out of my life as he pleased. Growing up it tore me up wondering why all my other friends had fathers around and I didn't. There isn't a force in this world that could keep me away from my children (whenever I enter that phase in my life).

 

[miceyj77]

Originally Posted by Mister DoItNice

My father pretty much came in and out of my life as he pleased. Growing up it tore me up wondering why all my other friends had fathers around and I didn't. There isn't a force in this world that could keep me away from my children (whenever I enter that phase in my life).

I just don't understand how someone would do that their own child... 

 

[jesusr23]

dam that sucks, I'm glad my father has been there everyday of my life