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- Feb 3, 2006
The baby is better off without him if that's the mentality he has.
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- Oct 22, 2009
What a poor excuse for a man.If you were man enough to create life then man up and take care of your responsibilities.I never had my father around and there are millions of people that went through the same thing growing up.I have a daughter now and only god could stop me from being in her life.Dudes need to stop this ongoing cycle of stupidity.
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To everyone who didnt grow up with there father, i ask yall this what role do you think your mothers played in that decision. I mean esp in black community. 72% of men are not in their kids lives. Being realistic, i refuse to believe that 7 outta ten black men are trifling,heartless and refused to man up and be a dad. By yall reasoning most of you guys who saying yall gonna be apart of your kids life is lying.
Times and the judicial system, as well as fathers rights was waaaaaaaaaaaaay different then compared to now. Also family values/ having kids out of wedlock as well. I would delve deeper into this but i dont want to potentially offend ppl and there mothers. Remember 4 ways to a situation, her story,his story,the truth, and the person on the outside interpretation of the whole situation. Alot of you since growing up with just a mother only say the situation from one angle, thus your view and opinion is naturally one-sided and bias.
Times and the judicial system, as well as fathers rights was waaaaaaaaaaaaay different then compared to now. Also family values/ having kids out of wedlock as well. I would delve deeper into this but i dont want to potentially offend ppl and there mothers. Remember 4 ways to a situation, her story,his story,the truth, and the person on the outside interpretation of the whole situation. Alot of you since growing up with just a mother only say the situation from one angle, thus your view and opinion is naturally one-sided and bias.
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Did you grow up with a father?
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- Dec 21, 2002
Sorry to hear about fatherless people. I'm very appreciative for my life lessons pops taught me and being in my life.
Even though when your younger, you don't agree with him and he always says" one day you'll think me "
its so true..
Thanks for reminder.. gotta get him a bday present! lol
Even though when your younger, you don't agree with him and he always says" one day you'll think me "
its so true..
Thanks for reminder.. gotta get him a bday present! lol
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- Jan 16, 2002
Posts like this make me realize how lucky I am to have my pops around.
As a father myself I don't know how dudes can miss out on some of the best feelings in life.
My-T.
As a father myself I don't know how dudes can miss out on some of the best feelings in life.
My-T.
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Especially This.
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- Nov 25, 2003
So True. I have a son. I love my son. His moms makes my life hell. I understand why some men choose to leave and keep away. I refuse to do this, Cant see it happening. But i do have a better understanding now as to why most fathers decide to abandon their responsibilities. It can be too much at times. Def time to man up, if you do not have a child, dont have one, until you KNOW your ready for it. Ps. ive smashed hundreds of women, litterally. Maybe just about 200 but still thats hundreds lol.. Thats stopped big time. Them games are childs play, its time to man up
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Grew up without my father. i used to talk to him on the phone and he used to send me money when i was younger..i turned out alright
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Pops was in and out of my life until months apart turned to years apart I used to go years without a call or nothing then all the sudden I'd get that call and forget about all those times I spent the day wondering, feeling like I wasn't good enough looking at my friends with their dads and just getting built up with anger. Birthdays, Christmas, Graduating all these times that were supposed to be precious moments, and all I could do was feel like @*#* cause I knew that call wasn't coming. I'd truly rather him never have been there then to have this tug of war of emotions built up inside me that to this day keep me up some nights. It's been four years since I've seen or spoken to him, and I'm older now, and I realize that all that other @*#* doesn't matter. You guys talking about financial issues, baby momma drama, only you can prevent yourself from being in that childs life. A few simple phone calls could do wonders, if the mother is truly trying to stop you fight for custody, too many men just give up way to easily on something that's worth dying for.
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If you don't want to be a father then don't have unprotected sex & choose to have sex with someone who has the same views on having kids as you do.
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- Mar 2, 2009
Did you grow up with a father?
Yes i did, my parents weren't married but he was apart of my life. My things is this seeing i had a father, i overstand how hard esp in that time, when there was no fathers' rights outside of marrying the mother(at least from a legal standpoint). So ive seen and heard both sides. To the ppl who only heard one-side your view depiction of a deadbeat father is misguided, and miscued.
THAN YOU CAN NEVER OVERSTAND MY POSITION....
I don't care how much you try to rationalize or make logic of it
You had a consistent male figure there to teach you, guide you
My moms did a helluva job with 3 boys, 1 who has Autism
but there were thing she COULDN'T teach me cuz she wasn't a man
At the end of day you wanna say more than likely people moms moms were basically JO's ? right
My pop straight denied me in my face when I no more than 10
Never attempted to reach out me since
$@$@$ signed my birth certificate
Told me I wasn't his son And he didn't love me
You can never understand that kind of effect that has on a childs mind
MY POPS WAS A DEADBEAT
If a man was really about seeing their offspring they would ANYTHING in their power to see them point blank period
any man that truly loves his child wouldn't give on up see them...
While it is true alot dudes fathers may have been locked up..that doesn't ring true for every situation
Neither is " your moms was a JO "
Every situation and reason is diffrent
/rant
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LDJ...
No offense, but since u stated you grew up WITH A FATHER ends the entire conversation. You can't fathom how it is growing up without one...I could care less about your reasoning.
okbye
No offense, but since u stated you grew up WITH A FATHER ends the entire conversation. You can't fathom how it is growing up without one...I could care less about your reasoning.
okbye
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- Oct 6, 2009
Originally Posted by Koudie From BroOklyn
So True. I have a son. I love my son. His moms makes my life hell. I understand why some men choose to leave and keep away. I refuse to do this, Cant see it happening. But i do have a better understanding now as to why most fathers decide to abandon their responsibilities. It can be too much at times. Def time to man up, if you do not have a child, dont have one, until you KNOW your ready for it. Ps. ive smashed hundreds of women, litterally. Maybe just about 200 but still thats hundreds lol.. Thats stopped big time. Them games are childs play, its time to man up
See you can see both sides of the fence. Now imagine the hell you go thru now back then. At a time where fathers rights didnt exist(from a judicial standpoint). And ppl act like jumpoffs, one-nighters, etc started when jenny jones,richard bey, maury etc came on air. There was promiscuity, loose women then, as they are now. Also dna testing wasnt as accurate as it is now.
Not to mention, times was so different as far as family values, it was god forbidden damn near to be a jumpoff etc. I was you met a guy married him and got knocked up, or got knocked up then got married to a b/f someone you had a longtime relationship with. If you didnt in those days family would disown you etc.
So to alot of you guys with no fathers. At that time some not all of you, coulda had a mom that was hate to say it a roundaway girl. Your dad coulda been her steady man, they get into it, she seeks comfort into another man gets knocked up. If she tells the truth, she will be an outcast to the family. So she is basically pinned in a position to basically say nothing to the father, or either guy, for fear of critisism/crucification.
Or she may have told the male(your father) but basically said hey i dont want you apart of the kid life, cause you was a one nighter, or i was having sex with someone else and the kid may/may not be yours, or if it is theirs, if i tell my folks you knocked me up before marriage they will disown me. So she basically ask the guy not to say anything, and go his seperate ways.
Again like i said in those times, from a legal standpoint, there wasnt anything he could do, dna was a joke. So basically he has this on his plate. A woman who got pregnant, maybe/maybe not by him, with no way to prove either way. And even if he is the fathe no legal way to be apart of the kids life.
So here you are born, etc. You ask about your pops. Remember you guys, mothers are ppl to. What you expect her to say. Oh well what happen was i was hoppng from bed to bed and have know clue who your daddy is, so i just went with the guy that was my steady bf. Or do you expect your mom to say well we had you before marriage, and i asked him not to be apart of your life, because your grandparents would have disowned me, had nothing to do with me. Plus at the time your mom (I) was some crazy psycho itch, with serious baby momma issues,and a loose wild woman, so he didnt even wanna deal with me (marry me) and my crazy ways.
See not having the whole story, or his side, and not knowing the background of the entire situation,just the stories/version your moms told you doesnt paint a accurate picture of what really occurred. If your mom was loose, a jump off, etc. Or did all kinda stuff to drive your daddy away. Lets be realistic she wouldnt just come right out and say that to her child(you guys).
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You don't get it....
soltheman
Banned
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Yes i did, my parents weren't married but he was apart of my life. My things is this seeing i had a father, i overstand how hard esp in that time, when there was no fathers' rights outside of marrying the mother(at least from a legal standpoint). So ive seen and heard both sides. To the ppl who only heard one-side your view depiction of a deadbeat father is misguided, and miscued.
THAN YOU CAN NEVER OVERSTAND MY POSITION....
I don't care how much you try to rationalize or make logic of it
You had a consistent male figure there to teach you, guide you
My moms did a helluva job with 3 boys, 1 who has Autism
but there were thing she COULDN'T teach me cuz she wasn't a man
At the end of day you wanna say more than likely people moms moms were basically JO's ? right
My pop straight denied me in my face when I no more than 10
Never attempted to reach out me since
$@$@$ signed my birth certificate
Told me I wasn't his son And he didn't love me
You can never understand that kind of effect that has on a childs mind
MY POPS WAS A DEADBEAT
If a man was really about seeing their offspring they would ANYTHING in their power to see them point blank period
any man that truly loves his child wouldn't give on up see them...
While it is true alot dudes fathers may have been locked up..that doesn't ring true for every situation
Neither is " your moms was a JO "
Every situation and reason is diffrent
/rant
let 'em know kid. especially that "By any means necessary" point.
My uncle battled for YEARS in court to get custody of his daughter. her mother even tried to move to florida to get away from him.
but after battling in multiple states, being in and out of court, and spending all the money that he could possibly gather, he got her back.
thats the kind of father i envision myself being.
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- Oct 6, 2009
- 6,935
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- May 28, 2008
My father was never around & when I was growing up I void to never do that to my kids. I know have a 3 year old son that means the world to me.
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- Oct 6, 2009
THAN YOU CAN NEVER OVERSTAND MY POSITION....
I don't care how much you try to rationalize or make logic of it
You had a consistent male figure there to teach you, guide you
My moms did a helluva job with 3 boys, 1 who has Autism
but there were thing she COULDN'T teach me cuz she wasn't a man
At the end of day you wanna say more than likely people moms moms were basically JO's ? right
My pop straight denied me in my face when I no more than 10
Never attempted to reach out me since
$@$@$ signed my birth certificate
Told me I wasn't his son And he didn't love me
You can never understand that kind of effect that has on a childs mind
MY POPS WAS A DEADBEAT
If a man was really about seeing their offspring they would ANYTHING in their power to see them point blank period
any man that truly loves his child wouldn't give on up see them...
While it is true alot dudes fathers may have been locked up..that doesn't ring true for every situation
Neither is " your moms was a JO "
Every situation and reason is diffrent
/rant
let 'em know kid. especially that "By any means necessary" point.
My uncle battled for YEARS in court to get custody of his daughter. her mother even tried to move to florida to get away from him.
but after battling in multiple states, being in and out of court, and spending all the money that he could possibly gather, he got her back.
thats the kind of father i envision myself being.
You just proved my point. Do you guys know that fathers rights joint custody etc is fairly new, within the last 15 20 or so odd yrs. So this whole battling in court for rights makes no sense. How you gonna petition a court for something that dont exist. How you gonna fight for joint custody if there is no such thing? How are you gonna veto for visitation, if theres no such thing as visitation? Only hope you had was a cooperative mother, and if you didnt have that, from a legal standpoint there was absolutely nothing a man could do.
See you guys are applying todays times, legal system etc, for a answer to something that happen when those factors didnt exist. Yes i have a father, But i also am i father in both situations, with my old lady, and a kid/baby momma. She has tried to do everything in here power to have me not apart of my daughters life, but nowadays i have legal rights and have the ability to one dna test to see if she was mines, to fight for custody, legal rights etc.... If i hadnt had those tools/resources, in all honesty i couldnt say what would have happen, nor i cannot say what would i do. Neither can you. Your basically saying what you would/wouldnt do if you was in a situation thats impossible for you to be in.
Reminds me how ppl say i wouldnt have been a slave, i wish that white man woulda told me to pick cotton/tried to whip me. You say that now, but if you was living during those times, i bet your *** would be singing a different tune.
Does that make me a deadbeat daddy?
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- Mar 2, 2009
Yes i did, my parents weren't married but he was apart of my life. My things is this seeing i had a father, i overstand how hard esp in that time, when there was no fathers' rights outside of marrying the mother(at least from a legal standpoint). So ive seen and heard both sides. To the ppl who only heard one-side your view depiction of a deadbeat father is misguided, and miscued.
THAN YOU CAN NEVER OVERSTAND MY POSITION....
I don't care how much you try to rationalize or make logic of it
You had a consistent male figure there to teach you, guide you
My moms did a helluva job with 3 boys, 1 who has Autism
but there were thing she COULDN'T teach me cuz she wasn't a man
At the end of day you wanna say more than likely people moms moms were basically JO's ? right
My pop straight denied me in my face when I no more than 10
Never attempted to reach out me since
$@$@$ signed my birth certificate
Told me I wasn't his son And he didn't love me
You can never understand that kind of effect that has on a childs mind
MY POPS WAS A DEADBEAT
If a man was really about seeing their offspring they would ANYTHING in their power to see them point blank period
any man that truly loves his child wouldn't give on up see them...
While it is true alot dudes fathers may have been locked up..that doesn't ring true for every situation
Neither is " your moms was a JO "
Every situation and reason is diffrent
/rant
First i feel you thats why i said some situations not all. For all you know, since you wasnt there, your mom coulda been the biggest jumpoff in the town. See your viewing things as society, and how the world law is today, and using that to examine something that happened in the past.
So lets take this situation, and try to be unbias. You are a male, you meet a woman, you guys date, you discover she sleeping around with every joe blow on the block, she gets pregnant and says you the daddy. Remember now you cant go use dna etc. Thats prevelant in todays society not then.
Then on top of that she is a itch to you, but yet says ok i know imma hoar, i treat you like dirt, and no way to prove you are the daddy, but for the kids sake(which maybe not is yours) marry me take care of me.
Lets say you say no, and try to get your rights thru court, oops wait a minute, that can be done in this time, fathers rights wasnt around then so you couldnt get visitation, joint custody then.
So i ask you this you got a woman that claims your the father, noway to prove it, no way to legally be apart of the kids life, outside of marrying the woman, who is a known jumpoff and treats you like $!!. You say you would go ahead and do it. but untill you are in those actual shoes, its all talk.
Anyone can say what they will/wont do. but when *** gets to grass, lets see what you will/wont you do then.
Again im not saying this is your particular situation. But if you really think, jumpoffs, promiscuity, baby momma drama etc.. Just started when maury came on air, you have a very inaccurate dipiction of life back then. Life wasnt how the brady bunch etc was. The same type of stuff thats going on today, happened back then.
Its just that now, from a legal standpoint, and the right amount of money etc, you can actually do something. Remember 72% of black males arent in they kids life. More then 20 of you said you wouldnt be a deadbeat dad. So by this logic, most of you guys about, 15 outta the 20 who said they are gonna be in they kids life, is lying and full of b.s.
I dont expect most of you to understand this, even though it is all proven with facts and statistics, cause once you been told something for so long(especially from someone near and dear as your moms), and only seen things one way, the chances of you being objective is slim to none. Its like if all your life you believed in god, even if there was unrefutable evidence god didnt exist, most ppl if they believed in him all they life, still would ignore the facts, and praise/believe in god.
Dog
my mother never said one word about my pops
she did'nt have to
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
AND IF YOU STILL WENT RAW AND KNOCKED HER UP
THAT DOESN'T GIVE THE *#%%%%* RIGHT TO !!@* ON YOUR CHILD CUZ YOU FOUND OUT SHE WAS A JO ( SOMETHING YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN SPOTTED)
ONCE AGAIN YOUR SYMPATHY FOR MEN WHO DOES THIS I CANNOT UNDER STAND NOR WILL I TRY
YOU OVERSTAND NOTHING
ONE AGAIN YOU HAVE A FATHER WHO IS THERE YOU CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT EMPTYNESS
I SEE BOTH SIDES CLEARLY
I HAVE FRIENDS WHO HAVE CRAZY BABY MOTHERS..
BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THEM FROM SEEING THEIR CHILD
AND YES I'M MAD
- 9,981
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- Nov 8, 2007
We in the same boat, except i'm 20
- 3,938
- 11
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2009
THAN YOU CAN NEVER OVERSTAND MY POSITION....
I don't care how much you try to rationalize or make logic of it
You had a consistent male figure there to teach you, guide you
My moms did a helluva job with 3 boys, 1 who has Autism
but there were thing she COULDN'T teach me cuz she wasn't a man
At the end of day you wanna say more than likely people moms moms were basically JO's ? right
My pop straight denied me in my face when I no more than 10
Never attempted to reach out me since
$@$@$ signed my birth certificate
Told me I wasn't his son And he didn't love me
You can never understand that kind of effect that has on a childs mind
MY POPS WAS A DEADBEAT
If a man was really about seeing their offspring they would ANYTHING in their power to see them point blank period
any man that truly loves his child wouldn't give on up see them...
While it is true alot dudes fathers may have been locked up..that doesn't ring true for every situation
Neither is " your moms was a JO "
Every situation and reason is diffrent
/rant
First i feel you thats why i said some situations not all. For all you know, since you wasnt there, your mom coulda been the biggest jumpoff in the town. See your viewing things as society, and how the world law is today, and using that to examine something that happened in the past.
So lets take this situation, and try to be unbias. You are a male, you meet a woman, you guys date, you discover she sleeping around with every joe blow on the block, she gets pregnant and says you the daddy. Remember now you cant go use dna etc. Thats prevelant in todays society not then.
Then on top of that she is a itch to you, but yet says ok i know imma hoar, i treat you like dirt, and no way to prove you are the daddy, but for the kids sake(which maybe not is yours) marry me take care of me.
Lets say you say no, and try to get your rights thru court, oops wait a minute, that can be done in this time, fathers rights wasnt around then so you couldnt get visitation, joint custody then.
So i ask you this you got a woman that claims your the father, noway to prove it, no way to legally be apart of the kids life, outside of marrying the woman, who is a known jumpoff and treats you like $!!. You say you would go ahead and do it. but untill you are in those actual shoes, its all talk.
Anyone can say what they will/wont do. but when *** gets to grass, lets see what you will/wont you do then.
Again im not saying this is your particular situation. But if you really think, jumpoffs, promiscuity, baby momma drama etc.. Just started when maury came on air, you have a very inaccurate dipiction of life back then. Life wasnt how the brady bunch etc was. The same type of stuff thats going on today, happened back then.
Its just that now, from a legal standpoint, and the right amount of money etc, you can actually do something. Remember 72% of black males arent in they kids life. More then 20 of you said you wouldnt be a deadbeat dad. So by this logic, most of you guys about, 15 outta the 20 who said they are gonna be in they kids life, is lying and full of b.s.
I dont expect most of you to understand this, even though it is all proven with facts and statistics, cause once you been told something for so long(especially from someone near and dear as your moms), and only seen things one way, the chances of you being objective is slim to none. Its like if all your life you believed in god, even if there was unrefutable evidence god didnt exist, most ppl if they believed in him all they life, still would ignore the facts, and praise/believe in god.
Dog
my mother never said one word about my pops
she did'nt have to
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
AND IF YOU STILL WENT RAW AND KNOCKED HER UP
THAT DOESN'T GIVE THE *#%%%%* RIGHT TO !!@* ON YOUR CHILD CUZ YOU FOUND OUT SHE WAS A JO ( SOMETHING YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN SPOTTED)
ONCE AGAIN YOUR SYMPATHY FOR MEN WHO DOES THIS I CANNOT UNDER STAND NOR WILL I TRY
YOU OVERSTAND NOTHING
ONE AGAIN YOU HAVE A FATHER WHO IS THERE YOU CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT EMPTYNESS
I SEE BOTH SIDES CLEARLY
I HAVE FRIENDS WHO HAVE CRAZY BABY MOTHERS..
BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THEM FROM SEEING THEIR CHILD
AND YES I'M MAD
How can you see both sides or been in both shoes. You didnt live in those times. You didnt know what kinda situation your moms/dad had. You wasnt even born.
Ok you say your friends, again you are using todays logic society and applying it to a time it didnt exist. Of course they can be in the kids life now. Because there are ramifications etc if the mother doesnt follow the laws(remeber these laws didnt exist then).
It be like you saying back in slavery time i woulda went to the dept of labor, if they asked me to work overtime, or didnt give me a break. Hello there was no eoe,eoc, dept of labor. Im not excusing or justifying anything. Im just giving an unbias view of a sitatuon i have first hand dealt with.
You are looking at a situation on the outside looking in, with a bias standpoint. Mixed with resentment, anger, hurt etc. True like i said i had a father(and i would never belittlle, or take for granted that i have a father) but, I am in the same sitaution many of you guys fathers were in. You are not. I also know how hard, and a uphill battle it was to get to be apart of my daughters life.
All im saying is if there was no judicial system, no visitation, no joint custody, and no legal way to be apart of my kids life, and i had an uncooperative baby momma, add to the fact no dna to even prove the child was mines, i dont know what i would do. And neither do you.
- 1,104
- 12
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2009
First i feel you thats why i said some situations not all. For all you know, since you wasnt there, your mom coulda been the biggest jumpoff in the town. See your viewing things as society, and how the world law is today, and using that to examine something that happened in the past.
So lets take this situation, and try to be unbias. You are a male, you meet a woman, you guys date, you discover she sleeping around with every joe blow on the block, she gets pregnant and says you the daddy. Remember now you cant go use dna etc. Thats prevelant in todays society not then.
Then on top of that she is a itch to you, but yet says ok i know imma hoar, i treat you like dirt, and no way to prove you are the daddy, but for the kids sake(which maybe not is yours) marry me take care of me.
Lets say you say no, and try to get your rights thru court, oops wait a minute, that can be done in this time, fathers rights wasnt around then so you couldnt get visitation, joint custody then.
So i ask you this you got a woman that claims your the father, noway to prove it, no way to legally be apart of the kids life, outside of marrying the woman, who is a known jumpoff and treats you like $!!. You say you would go ahead and do it. but untill you are in those actual shoes, its all talk.
Anyone can say what they will/wont do. but when *** gets to grass, lets see what you will/wont you do then.
Again im not saying this is your particular situation. But if you really think, jumpoffs, promiscuity, baby momma drama etc.. Just started when maury came on air, you have a very inaccurate dipiction of life back then. Life wasnt how the brady bunch etc was. The same type of stuff thats going on today, happened back then.
Its just that now, from a legal standpoint, and the right amount of money etc, you can actually do something. Remember 72% of black males arent in they kids life. More then 20 of you said you wouldnt be a deadbeat dad. So by this logic, most of you guys about, 15 outta the 20 who said they are gonna be in they kids life, is lying and full of b.s.
I dont expect most of you to understand this, even though it is all proven with facts and statistics, cause once you been told something for so long(especially from someone near and dear as your moms), and only seen things one way, the chances of you being objective is slim to none. Its like if all your life you believed in god, even if there was unrefutable evidence god didnt exist, most ppl if they believed in him all they life, still would ignore the facts, and praise/believe in god.
Dog
my mother never said one word about my pops
she did'nt have to
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
AND IF YOU STILL WENT RAW AND KNOCKED HER UP
THAT DOESN'T GIVE THE *#%%%%* RIGHT TO !!@* ON YOUR CHILD CUZ YOU FOUND OUT SHE WAS A JO ( SOMETHING YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN SPOTTED)
ONCE AGAIN YOUR SYMPATHY FOR MEN WHO DOES THIS I CANNOT UNDER STAND NOR WILL I TRY
YOU OVERSTAND NOTHING
ONE AGAIN YOU HAVE A FATHER WHO IS THERE YOU CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT EMPTYNESS
I SEE BOTH SIDES CLEARLY
I HAVE FRIENDS WHO HAVE CRAZY BABY MOTHERS..
BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THEM FROM SEEING THEIR CHILD
AND YES I'M MAD
How can you see both sides or been in both shoes. You didnt live in those times. You didnt know what kinda situation your moms/dad had. You wasnt even born.
Ok you say your friends, again you are using todays logic society and applying it to a time it didnt exist. Of course they can be in the kids life now. Because there are ramifications etc if the mother doesnt follow the laws(remeber these laws didnt exist then).
It be like you saying back in slavery time i woulda went to the dept of labor, if they asked me to work overtime, or didnt give me a break. Hello there was no eoe,eoc, dept of labor. Im not excusing or justifying anything. Im just giving an unbias view of a sitatuon i have first hand dealt with.
You are looking at a situation on the outside looking in, with a bias standpoint. Mixed with resentment, anger, hurt etc. True like i said i had a father(and i would never belittlle, or take for granted that i have a father) but, I am in the same sitaution many of you guys fathers were in. You are not. I also know how hard, and a uphill battle it was to get to be apart of my daughters life.
All im saying is if there was no judicial system, no visitation, no joint custody, and no legal way to be apart of my kids life, and i had an uncooperative baby momma, add to the fact no dna to even prove the child was mines, i dont know what i would do. And neither do you.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT SITUATION I'M OR ANYONE ELSE IS IN??
STOP !%*%*!% ASSUMING..
And why are you using slavery as an comparison?
You basically want some sympathy or an OK to @@#% on your seed and wash your hands with him/her
is that what it is?
I was born in the 80's there was plenty laws then ( not to mention the millitary ain't play that @@#%)..
Are rights equal for both men and women? hell no
Women are given a advantage because they carry that child for nine months..
If you're BM is being a $+*$! you can get the courts to fix her %%@
That #!#@ goes both ways also..Men duck out the DNA test also more so than women
So what are you trying to prove? what is your reasoning saying it's ok or it's understandable for a man to neglect his seed?
It's seems you're basing your views on a statistic..
- 3,938
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- Oct 6, 2009
Dog
my mother never said one word about my pops
she did'nt have to
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
AND IF YOU STILL WENT RAW AND KNOCKED HER UP
THAT DOESN'T GIVE THE *#%%%%* RIGHT TO !!@* ON YOUR CHILD CUZ YOU FOUND OUT SHE WAS A JO ( SOMETHING YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN SPOTTED)
ONCE AGAIN YOUR SYMPATHY FOR MEN WHO DOES THIS I CANNOT UNDER STAND NOR WILL I TRY
YOU OVERSTAND NOTHING
ONE AGAIN YOU HAVE A FATHER WHO IS THERE YOU CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT EMPTYNESS
I SEE BOTH SIDES CLEARLY
I HAVE FRIENDS WHO HAVE CRAZY BABY MOTHERS..
BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THEM FROM SEEING THEIR CHILD
AND YES I'M MAD
How can you see both sides or been in both shoes. You didnt live in those times. You didnt know what kinda situation your moms/dad had. You wasnt even born.
Ok you say your friends, again you are using todays logic society and applying it to a time it didnt exist. Of course they can be in the kids life now. Because there are ramifications etc if the mother doesnt follow the laws(remeber these laws didnt exist then).
It be like you saying back in slavery time i woulda went to the dept of labor, if they asked me to work overtime, or didnt give me a break. Hello there was no eoe,eoc, dept of labor. Im not excusing or justifying anything. Im just giving an unbias view of a sitatuon i have first hand dealt with.
You are looking at a situation on the outside looking in, with a bias standpoint. Mixed with resentment, anger, hurt etc. True like i said i had a father(and i would never belittlle, or take for granted that i have a father) but, I am in the same sitaution many of you guys fathers were in. You are not. I also know how hard, and a uphill battle it was to get to be apart of my daughters life.
All im saying is if there was no judicial system, no visitation, no joint custody, and no legal way to be apart of my kids life, and i had an uncooperative baby momma, add to the fact no dna to even prove the child was mines, i dont know what i would do. And neither do you.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT SITUATION I'M OR ANYONE ELSE IS IN??
STOP !%*%*!% ASSUMING..
And why are you using slavery as an comparison?
You basically want some sympathy or an OK to @@#% on your seed and wash your hands with him/her
is that what it is?
I was born in the 80's there was plenty laws then ( not to mention the millitary ain't play that @@#%)..
Are rights equal for both men and women? hell no
Women are given a advantage because they carry that child for nine months..
If you're BM is being a $+*$! you can get the courts to fix her %%@
That #!#@ goes both ways also..Men duck out the DNA test also more so than women
So what are you trying to prove? what is your reasoning saying it's ok or it's understandable for a man to neglect his seed?
It's seems you're basing your views on a statistic..
Because you are taking a situation of the past, and using todays society,laws, government etc... And saying you would use that back then. You cant do that is what im saying its impossible.
Ok you are apart of todays fathers with rights etc. So your sitaution and your father doesnt apply(as i said everyone situation is different) seems ever fatherless person in here overlooks that point ive said time and time again.
Plus fathers rights and dna etc wasnt established until mid 80's. Even then it didnt become full pledge pratice until several yrs later. Again i use the slavery metaphor. Slavery was against the law at a time, yet it wasnt fully implemeted untill up to 50 yrs later.
True alot of men duck out of dna test now. But ok let me ask you this, before dna, how could a man duck out of something that didnt exist? How can you dodge paternity if there is no such thing?
Your saying i cant understand how you feel not having a father right cause i have one. So ok how can you understand/feel how it was to be a father back then, and having to deal with your mother? How can you say you understand that unless you got/saw it from his perspective, and had a relationship with him and understood what kind of person he was. You cant because according to you he wasnt even in your life.
How can you say you know how it is to be in someone shoes you dont even know? How can you understand him and your mother situation if you wasnt even there?
No what i am saying is i see how it could happen, and why it did happen at that period of time. As for now its hard, but its not impossible. You have rights, granted you gotta jump through hoops and have financial backing to exercise those rights, but you have them. If i didnt have those rights, i honestly couldnt say what i would do, cause im not in that position, and neither can you.
Not you, cause like i said your situation is different, as well as many others. But still neither you, me, nor any person, knows how they would handled a situation they arent in. Neither can you firmly say what you would do in a situation or time period, that it is impossible to be in. Again i used slavery(and the time period) as an example because i could talk for days about how i would handle react to something i know at this point in time impossible for me to be in.
Its like saying oh if i could carry and give birth to a baby like woman do, it be a piece of cake. Of course i can boast/say that, cause there is no way to prove i could or couldnt.
Its like if a starving/broke man robbed a bank to feed his family, i understand why he did it. Does that mean do i think what he did was right? Does that mean i would do what he did? Does that mean because i understand why he did what he did, it makes it right? No it just means i understand what he did and why he did what he did.
i personally view in this day in age not being apart of your childs life is unexceptable. My youngest cuz at 22 has 4 kids(all around the same age) with for different baby mommas, and none live in the state, except one who is off in college and comes back and forth(her family watches the kid while she at school). He is a felon with several charges, yet still gets atleast 3 weekend/1 day a week visitation. Which thank god his sister works for delta and he gets free flights out to go see his different kids.
So in todays society yes i cannot fanthom not being in a childs life, if you want to and the mother doesnt. But back at a time where there was no laws to exercise these rights(a time when the rights didnt exist) i could see how it would be difficult/impossible.
