TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

[flyeed]

I don't get her reasons at all. Like who cares if they have the same exact circles of friends. That sounds very high school. And if you don't mind me asking, but what are your cultures? I had an Indian homie who's crazy in love with a paki girl but can't marry her because of that and their religious differences (Sikh and Muslim.)

It's hard to accept the her reasons which seem immature and superficial. I tried to explain to her how she will keep in touch with her best friends from college but she'll never even see half those people again and her circle of friends will completely change as will she. I know from my own experiences. She asked me what interests do we really have in common though? I took her to a football game and we left at halftime because I knew she hated it, and I can't participate in a model UN activity lol. But who cares! We enjoy new experiences together, make memories, and are really happy just being together. Apparently that's not going to be enough in the long run since I will never be able to relate to her school/friends or an Ivy League school experience.

For the family/cultural. She's uzbek/Muslim, I'm white/Christian but neither of us practice religion nor is it THAT important to our families. She said she LOVES my parents but brought up my sister and said basically my sister wouldn't be accepted in her family. My sister lives at home, is older than me, only went to CC and has had a lot of struggles and mistakes in her life but she is trying and is not a bad person. My girls family is all very successful and doctors or other prominent careers. She said her parents would love my personality and be very nice to my face but she knows they'd judge me and my professional accolades behind my back. Which hurts coming from someone who hasn't even graduated or been employed yet. And she acknowledges its superficial, says she knows I've been pushing myself in my career and will be successful. But like, none of this is enough. I guess I won't be good enough until I'm taking home $200k+ on Wall Street and my family is perfect.

She's never going to find what she is seeing as marriage material and honestly I'm pretty close to fitting the bill. We're both so happy together now and I'm not making any sacrifices for her, actually pushing myself harder.

My family is from a similar region of the world. In all honesty a lot of girls from there date around when they're younger, and eventually wind up settling with someone Muslim.

If her family is super successful and she cares about that stuff in a partner, her family probably has a huge network of super successful people and she can meet someone through them eventually that satisfies the things she's looking for.

You can keep fighting the fight since you obviously want to marry this chick, but you need to also need to find more to bring to the table if you do. I don't mean money or career wise since that isn't going to happen, but you can find other things to make yourself worth more to her imo. Also, if she feels like you guys don't have anything in common and identifies it as a problem, then its a big problem. Try to learn about the stuff she's interested in and broaden your horizons.

You're definutely fighting a steep uphill battle though from the sounds of it if you decide to continue. And if you think that there's no hope for marriage then get out of this long distance thing. It's not worth it just to 'enjoy one another.' It's just going to set you back when you should be flourishing.

 

[tdogg2k]

Uzbek women are so sexy...and the food.....


Hennessey arent you in the DC area??? May as well come join the summit.


Suberzat. Yo i forgot you said this weekend im in dc today at qork til 10 but i planned on going back home tomm morning. We still on for april 11th??

 

[hennessy]

I live in DC. What summit?

 

[アミーゴ]

Am I wrong for leading a girl on into thinking I'm going to wife her up, when I have no intention to?

She told her parents about me and everything

And I can't let her go yet, because the ***** is too bomb.

Yes u are. As simple as that.

 

[mugen81]

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

As much as you want things to work sometimes the best thing you can do is move on. I know right at this very moment you feel she is the best thing walking but her attitude tells me different. All those excuses she presented are a sign of immaturity and fear. I understand that different cultures put copious amounts of pressure on their kids to be successful because they may have come from countries that had/have oppressive regimes. So in their eyes, seeing people who have had every chance in the world(and dont take offense to this and its not a back handed attack) especially a white angelo saxon family not sitting on generational wealth, will have them feeling some type of way. Is that right?No. Trust and believe i have had parents call me all kinds of things to my face and behind my back because they brought home a 6'2, 250, dark chocolate black male  and their heads and views of what they felt the media portrayed as truth. When i was younger( and much angrier) i used to stay giving asian parents that work but something clicked one day. If a girl cant defend her rights to be loved by someone of a different nationality or heritage, 9/10 she will not have my back when REAL life **** hits the fan. You cant provoke or impose your will on her to see the world differently. She has to grow and see how  stupid it is to base ones character off of melanin and background. My dude its a futile battle because in the end she just doesnt have a worldly view. All her reasons are still child like. When you are a couple, you always find shared interest but you also have to learn to operate as individuals. My wife hates sports with a passion, so when im watching basketball, she is doing her creative thing, writing poetry, drawing. My wife loves interior decorating and fashion blogs, etc, you can find me on PS4 network giving work to boys on Street Fighter. Where people **** up in relationships is that they lose themselves in the other persons hobbies, becoming pod people and taking on their partners characteristics. No, been there, done that. With my ex i tried everything to hide my nerdiness, my loner status, pretended to vibe with her friends(which  were total lames), i put on a mask just so i could say i was in love and i had somebody. It wasnt until she dropped me, i saw her Myspace page she magically created in March with the line"Complicated". My dude i was crushed and i was still in simp mode. I was doing what you are doing now.

I can change.

I will be nicer to your friends

Ill be more outgoing

Please Justine(not her name but if you watched the Cosby show) give me one more chance

i took all the owness and faults of our relationship because i just had the feelings she was wifey material.

Little did i know she was nothing of wifey material because its all a perception of what we have been told what a good person embodies.

We are taught this propaganda from a young age.

Go to school and learn about bullish courses instead of learning about finances, hardwork, politeness, equality

Go to college to get a good paying job while living in debt and not finding your true passion or starting your own business

Get a fly car and pad only to be a slave to helping somebody else stay rich why you are miserable and watching life go by.

People do not want to wake up from what we call "The American Dream" which then bleeds into our relationships as men and women.

Going to keep it 100, most women just want the status while men want the trophy.

But if you are really in tune with yourself, you want more.

You want to be able to come home to somebody that holds you down and rides for whatever decisions you jointly make

You want somebody to guide you when your weak and has the strength so both parties can endure

You want somebody that is willing to work and solve problems as a unit

You want somebody that respects your space and individuality but also is willing to explore

You want somebody who has good work ethic so you guys can build something instead of making somebody else's life more enriched then yours

You want somebody that has a backbone and will stand up for you among family, friend or foe

This is what a wife is supposed to look like. This is the true embodiment of love.

Right now its all an "ideal" she is living with. This is what they program us to believe. Until she is ready to come out of her shell and start living for herself, my dude there is nothing you can control.

Let her be and enjoy your life. A woman should always compliment your lifestyle not make it or own it. I have seen too many good dudes(especially myself) get poisoned by the bullish because they didnt follow their own hearts and codes of what a relationship is.

Let Her Go and live. She is not ready for the real world or real love.

Stop blocking potential blessings because you dont want to start over or you fear the next man is in them guts.

Be true to yourself and your family, thats the only thing you can do.

My father in law is German and my Mother in law is Filipino. I saw the look on their faces when i came home with her the first time. Im a mailman but what they didnt know is i graduated from Berkeley with a 3.7 gpa in Business Management and Computer Technology and Services. I can write code, can fix your computer within an hour and so much more. Never said a word but im just a mailman. Dad was cool but mom was tight because its not a prestigious career to brag about. But when she heard i had my own car, paid off in three years(on a 5 year agreement), got a little town home out here in Sugar Land, Tx and pursuing my masters for business, her attitude changed. All any parent wants for their daughter(hopefully) is a hardworking man with integrity and the ability to earn a living. If they are caught up in all the hype, then i definatly wouldnt want to be around people like that. As far as friends are concern. **** 'EM. My wifes friends know the deal, i speak but im not trying to get close like that. My loyalty is to my wife and seed, nothing more or less.

I know this was long but listen my dude, let her go and stop blocking something greater for you in the future.

Dont waste another second beating yourself up.

Peace

To my man Henny, long read though

 

[hennessy]

Thanks man. But I can't end it when she's away (neither can she). And we both want at least another year together and a lot can change in that time. I don't feel I'm holding myself back in any way except a potential heartbreak and I've been there, more than once, before and always come out stronger. She definitely doesn't want to start anything new while she's abroad and wants me when she back. Honestly though I have been hitting up past flings just to get some and if I want if it's there. But it doesn't make me really happy like she does. Just don't know what to do but to give this time.

 

[suberzat1]

Im going to sent a PM out @Tdogg2k  @Mark Antony  about tomorrow......@Hennessy  you might has well come out for some beer tomorrow after work. I know you like a good IPA

 

[bostoiah]

dope read mugen81. repped

 

[hennessy]

Im going to sent a PM out @Tdogg2k
 @Mark Antony
 about tomorrow......@Hennessy
 you might has well come out for some beer tomorrow after work. I know you like a good IPA

I may be going to NY tomorrow but I'll PM you. Actually been brewing my own beer at home and have to bottle my first IPA this weekend

 

[アミーゴ]

I may be going to NY tomorrow but I'll PM you. Actually been brewing my own beer at home and have to bottle my first IPA this weekend

Send me one to Cali!

 

[mugen81]

Thanks man. But I can't end it when she's away (neither can she). And we both want at least another year together and a lot can change in that time. I don't feel I'm holding myself back in any way except a potential heartbreak and I've been there, more than once, before and always come out stronger. She definitely doesn't want to start anything new while she's abroad and wants me when she back. Honestly though I have been hitting up past flings just to get some and if I want if it's there. But it doesn't make me really happy like she does. Just don't know what to do but to give this time.

I know thats where your heart is and even her being abroad is a problem and you are grown and all my advice comes from learning this on my own and you have to find your own way and decisions but brethren all i will say is your postponing the inevitable. Like i said all the guys ive seen post in here with the exception of trolls, seem like genuine dudes i would kick it with if they were near the H, so i say this out of respect, let her go my dude. I know the heart wants what it feels it needs but this is a toxic relationship in the sense that you are basically succumbing to her ideals, games and demands. When you find yourself giving more then receiving and putting your own ideals aside because you"feel" you love her, its not a good look. Your woman shouldnt be your foe but your teammate. No woman should ever have this much power over you. In real love, real relationships of compassion and loyalty, no one wants power because each person knows their roles, strengths and weakness and nobody is trying to undermine the next person for supremacy. My dude the girl was talking about a "Hall Pass", let my wife say some ish like that and she already know im trying to smash Asa Akira(IDC

) and getting 50/50 custody of my lil princess and moving on. She knows not to even bring that type of bullish my way. I've been hurt too much and done seen too much for a 33 year old(about to be 34) to let someone come at me with the tomfoolery.

Listen to your gut and ask yourself this one question:

"Is she truly worth all this pain and confusion right now or am i holding on because i'm scared to lose and start all over and to face my true self and person".

If you answer yes, much respect and much peace with the consequences and decisions in the future.

Just listen to your gut homie. If i had listened when i was 24, i wouldnt have been a damn monk for 6 years straight

But i also wouldnt have met my wife or have the ability to drop dimes on younger men to pursue life goals and happiness over vagina

Young Fools Become Wise Men.

Wish you Peace brethren..

 

[suberzat1]

 

Im going to sent a PM out @Tdogg2k
 @Mark Antony
 about tomorrow......@Hennessy
 you might has well come out for some beer tomorrow after work. I know you like a good IPA

I may be going to NY tomorrow but I'll PM you. Actually been brewing my own beer at home and have to bottle my first IPA this weekend

Yea dude just PM me if you are coming out.

 

[tdogg2k]

Where you at ill come grab a bottle

 

[dropten]

Damn....and im gonna be in nY this weekend. Im gonna miss the summit

 

[アミーゴ]

We are definitely doing a Bungalow summit in LA this summer FYI.

 

[suberzat1]

Y'all need to skip NY and just stay in DC

 

[hennessy]

Where you at ill come grab a bottle

I'm a self conscious brewer, gotta taste it myself first lol This is only my second batch and it will be bottled this weekend. Not sure how long it should marinate past that. I already killed my first 50 bottles (ESB) I bottled on March 8th. Every bottle got better with age and I kinda regret drinking so fast. Though I'm brewing an amber ale as soon as I get this IPA out the fermenter. We can Pregamo some beers at my spot, and I always got henny on reserve if the beer ain't ready.

 

[アミーゴ]

I'm a self conscious brewer, gotta taste it myself first lol This is only my second batch and it will be bottled this weekend. Not sure how long it should marinate past that. I already killed my first 50 bottles (ESB) I bottled on March 8th. Every bottle got better with age and I kinda regret drinking so fast. Though I'm brewing an amber ale as soon as I get this IPA out the fermenter. We can Pregamo some beers at my spot, and I always got henny on reserve if the beer ain't ready.

How u not gunna send ya mans one?

 

[hennessy]

I'm a self conscious brewer, gotta taste it myself first lol This is only my second batch and it will be bottled this weekend. Not sure how long it should marinate past that. I already killed my first 50 bottles (ESB) I bottled on March 8th. Every bottle got better with age and I kinda regret drinking so fast. Though I'm brewing an amber ale as soon as I get this IPA out the fermenter. We can Pregamo some beers at my spot, and I always got henny on reserve if the beer ain't ready.

How u not gunna send ya mans one?

It's illegal lol. Otherwise I would bro.

 

[アミーゴ]

It's illegal lol. Otherwise I would bro.

We send beer back and forth constantly.

 

[suberzat1]

I'm a self conscious brewer, gotta taste it myself first lol This is only my second batch and it will be bottled this weekend. Not sure how long it should marinate past that. I already killed my first 50 bottles (ESB) I bottled on March 8th. Every bottle got better with age and I kinda regret drinking so fast. Though I'm brewing an amber ale as soon as I get this IPA out the fermenter. We can Pregamo some beers at my spot, and I always got henny on reserve if the beer ain't ready.

How u not gunna send ya mans one?

It's illegal lol. Otherwise I would bro.

I ship beer and pregame beer/Henny is always good

 

[アミーゴ]

I ship beer and pregame beer/Henny is always good

Grab one for me and ship it. Now that I'm back to OC I can ship you Bruery and Bootlegger!

 

[youngdoc]

Yeah it took me 38 mins to go 6 miles last night lol.

Lol if you dont know how to manuver around traffic thats on you.

Im not dating girls during the peak hours of traffic. You go out during the night. I'm in the heart of traffic central. And I've never experienced this issue.

This.

Y'all full of it acting like the 10, 405, 101, 5 etc don't be crowded at random times.

 

[freshlikedasani91]

dont forget the 110 and the 105. actually every freeway here sucks unless its mid morning or late at night

 

[youngdoc]

dont forget the 110 and the 105. actually every freeway here sucks unless its mid morning or late at night

True

I spend enough time commuting to work. I'm not about "commute" for a female