Textsfromlastnight.com LMAO

[jkickz1334]

Lmao....

Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

I got called a %%++ by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..%$% is that *+%!? explain that to me

do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?

 

[parada45]

My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won

 

[r31j23]

(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

(201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a **%$ ton of free thc

(312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
(384): How come?
(312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

 

[jayadict92]

(202): Do you have swine flu?
(1-202): I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
(1-202): Pigs, yes. Swine, no.

 

[jcash da kid]

(67: did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
(404): did it work?
(67: nope

 

[nktran001]

(312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
(384): How come?
(312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

 

[jayhood23]

Originally Posted by JCASH DA KID

(67: did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
(404): did it work?
(67: nope

Atlanta dudes

 

[ortega03]

 

[jkickz1334]

lol, Shawn, how many NT names you got?

 

[airant23]

YO!

(847): is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?

Pimp. How I like most of my %#*%...

(704): the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?

Charlotte FTW.

DF!!!

 

[chichiloves5s]

*goes to submit last night's conversations from bbm*

 

[jayadict92]

if you force a %*#%%% to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
-------------------------------------------------------
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
-------------------------------------------------------
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
-------------------------------------------------------
(734): hey call me
(810): can't. in the shower.
(734): ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.

 

[crazy dav0]

Originally Posted by JayADiCt92

if you force a %*#%%% to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
-------------------------------------------------------
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
-------------------------------------------------------
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
-------------------------------------------------------
(734): hey call me
(810): can't. in the shower.
(734): ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.

 

[miketysonthekiller]

wow

 

[fl0eticnostalgia]

Originally Posted by cRazy dav0

Originally Posted by JayADiCt92

if you force a %*#%%% to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
-------------------------------------------------------
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
-------------------------------------------------------
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
-------------------------------------------------------
(734): hey call me
(810): can't. in the shower.
(734): ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.

 

[iblink]

Originally Posted by JayHood23

Originally Posted by JCASH DA KID

(67: did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
(404): did it work?
(67: nope

Atlanta dudes

Only in the A. I swear that sounds like one of my home boys

 

[mnmballa2323]

(860): I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
(860): $@$+ wrong person
(1-860):.. who was that for? a girlscout?

 

[snaggykicks]

Originally Posted by MnMballa2323

(860): I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
(860): $@$+ wrong person
(1-860):.. who was that for? a girlscout?

 

[sigmakidownz]

sounds like another fmylife.com but funny in a different way

 

[sure lock 510]

lulz

 

[jayhood23]

Originally Posted by snaggykicks

Originally Posted by MnMballa2323

(860): I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
(860): $@$+ wrong person
(1-860):.. who was that for? a girlscout?

insert Chirs Hansen pic/gif

 

[jayadict92]

this isn't from this site, it's from FML but i just had to share it.

Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML


idk why but i was

 

[th3ownly]

the best one in my opinion


(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

 

[superantigen]

Originally Posted by JayADiCt92

this isn't from this site, it's from FML but i just had to share it.

Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML

idk why but i was

 

[air sti]

Hehe