Textsfromlastnight.com LMAO

[beavers n ducks]

(313): Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him top I'd suffocate



(24: Party's warming up, a ****** just got here...



(240): Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
(703): What are you talking about
(240): You've got to be kidding me






(703): Can i come over
(240): After you called me a desperate *#!% ? No
(240): Come over

 

[youngmoney]

to many things to quote.haha

 

[Deleted member 37754]

Originally Posted by youngmoney

to many things to quote.haha

agreed

 

[ev209]

lol

 

[uncalled4boy]

Originally Posted by Qualmes

(417): He has such a weird drunk-voice.
(1-417): dude, he's deaf.

Takes the cake

 

[verdykt]

(323): Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag,i've always wanted a crack at that #**#%.

(901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did Imention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

(614): Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.

 

[aintfresh]

(313): I painted my nails silver
(586): And what are the implications of that?
(313): Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien



HA

 

[size 15 please]

"(612): im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me"


LMAO

 

[sk23]

Originally Posted by ErickM713

(310): your room smells of hookers.
(904): And success

/Thread

oh noooooooooooooo

 

[chinoman1782]

new vital site.

 

[kiddin like jason]

(323): Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
(310): You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
(323): So...no?`
Bahahahaha.

 

[ryda421]

lulz

 

[gabegrams]

(901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did Imention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

 

[sir rob a lot]

Originally Posted by Jaye05

i'll come back to this later

 

[iloveshoes]

(419): just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walkback...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
EDIT: just read this one before i went to sleep
(850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave? (850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

Goodnight NT. It was fun. (no mo)

 

[tylerhundley]

in to read later.

 

[russoull]

(401): dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
(616): Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
(401): wait... oh

....that one just ended it, I'ma get back on it tomorrow.

 

[shadydatguy]

Originally Posted by JayADiCt92

(202): Do you have swine flu?
(1-202): I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
(1-202): Pigs, yes. Swine, no.

 

[kiddin like jason]

(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that

(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my *%*% in your %$+
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom

(816): She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.

 

[retr0sxual]

Eventually people are going to just make !@+# up, trying to be funny.

 

[th0mas cr0wn]

Omg

I was dying for a minute at some of these

(417): He has such a weird drunk-voice.
(1-417): dude, he's deaf.

(20: i just saw a ****** buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

(310): your room smells of hookers.
(904): And success

(513): Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs

 

[youngmoney]

(480): Lets date for the summer
(815): what?
(480): Dont love me in September.



(20: the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise

(214): a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

(763): My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

 

[th0mas cr0wn]

(281): ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my @!$ with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
(214): Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.


(732): ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision

(215): dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
(412): haha what'd she say
(215): i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. closecalls man W.T.F

(40: carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
(415): be there in 3 mins

 

[briannnnn]

(320): If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

 

[dendanskesimon]

Originally Posted by sk23

Originally Posted by ErickM713

(310): your room smells of hookers.
(904): And success

/Thread

oh noooooooooooooo

OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

and jordan novice, words to live by:
What to do if your girlfriend ask "Would you still love me if I was fat?"
Always be sly and be slip her the "How is my girl gonna love me if her heart ain't healthy?" - Purple Face