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Stuck a feather up his a** and called him a jabroni...
Last week's Raw was very much focused on talking segments to set up WrestleMania. There was very little wrestling outside of Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan beating CM Punk and Sheamus. The show opened with Shawn Michaels coming out to the ring. He questioned why HHH would accept the match with The Undertaker after previously turning it down. HHH came out. A video of The Undertaker rolled where he suggested HHH didn't want the match because HHH knew he couldn't get it done because HBK couldn't get it done, and HHH was never as good as HBK. Back in the ring, Michaels questioned HHH why Hunter considered it an insult that Michaels was better than him. HHH said it wasn't that, but that HBK was his friend and didn't like hearing the whispers behind his back that Michaels wasn't good enough to get it done against The Undertaker. So HHH was fighting this match for Shawn. Shawn sarcastically thanks Hunter. Michaels said he knew who would win last year and he was right. And he knew who would win this year, and he would be right again. And he knew that because he is the special guest referee for the match. It was a great opening segment with a lot of heat and interest from the crowd.
Now the interesting question this week becomes, who appointed HBK the special guest referee? Was it HHH? Was it Vince? Was it the Board of Directors? And why was HBK made the special guest referee? The Undertaker will confront Michaels about this tonight. Is it part of a plot between the best friends to screw over The Undertaker and end the streak? Minus The Undertaker stumbling over a few words a few weeks back, everything leading up to this match has been excellent, so I expect no less tonight. The interplay between Taker and HBK is always great.
The other major portion of last week's show was a serious of pre-taped segments from The Rock and John Cena. The Rock have three "history" lessons around the city of Boston. The first at the Boston Harbor where he threw crappy Cena merchandise into the water. Then he was at Paul Revere's statue where he cut a great promo including a hilarious Yankee Doodle poem. And finally he was at Boston Common where he said he was on his way to the arena. John Cena had a pre-taped segment where he sat in an empty arena and cut a very long, overly wordy speech on why it was so important for him to win at WrestleMania. He said that no one remembers second place. His example was the 18-1 Patriots. Not a very good example as pretty much every football fan remembers them with their undefeated season losing to the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS in the Superbowl. Likewise, win or lose, every wrestling fan will remember this match. Do you think fans forget who Hogan faced at WrestleMania III? Or who Shawn Michaels beat in the Iron Man Match at WrestleMania XII? I don't think so.
This lead to Cena coming out to the ring for the final segment of the night. He started with some dumb Cena comedy about how he does in fact dress like a clown. Well if you're going to admit this, then why do it? Anyway, he quickly got serious. He said that The Rock is nervous about facing him at Mania. He said all of The Rock's best contest comes via satellite, not live in person. But he wants the very best Rock at WrestleMania so Cena can prove he's the best there is. Cena said he wants The Rock, not the actor Dwayne Johnson. The Rock came out and said he sees the fear in Cena's eyes. After all of the fun and games, The Rock is 6'4" and 265 lbs and will rip out Cena's throat. He said Cena is a little boy and will always be The Rock's b****. The Rock left. After The Rock was gone, Cena took a shot at The Rock by scribbling notes on his arm. He then said that win or lose, after WrestleMania, The Rock has options. Cena doesn't have any options. He has to win at WrestleMania. He said that he's going to make history by kicking The Rock's a**. Cena then celebrated in the crowd with friends and family. Cena was once again great in the main event segment, outshining The Rock for the 2nd straight week.
Now tonight..... we have a "Rock" Concert and Cena "Battle Rap". This has the possibility of being really bad. I know why they're doing it. The writing staff needs to come up with ways to keep these guys apart for at least two more weeks. We've already had the back and forth verbal debates in the ring, so the fans need something fresh. I just think the idea of a Rock Concert and Battle Rap could really take away the seriousness of this program that has been built up so well over the past few weeks. I won't judge it until the segment is over, but I don't have the highest hopes going in.
It was announced on WWE.com today that John Lauriaitis and Teddy Long will each choose teams and have them fight in a 12 man tag match at WrestleMania. The GM of the winning team will take control of both Raw and Smackdown. I would expect the teams to be announced tonight. Right now, the rumored names are Ziggler, Swagger, Christian, Del Rio, Otunga, and Henry for Team Ace and Santino, Kofi, Khali, Zeke, Truth, and Gabriel for Team Teddy. On paper, this is not a very intriguing match.
There was only one good match on last week's show. Chris Jericho scored a pinfall on CM Punk in a tag match that also included Daniel Bryan and Sheamus. Punk's facial after getting rolled up by Jericho for the pin was great, as it was a look of "Oh no, I don't know if I can beat this man". Yes, ideally Jericho and Punk should be kept apart, but I have much less of a problem here than compared to Cena and Rock because it helped build Jericho in the roll of sneaky heel getting the victory. I'm still hoping Jericho loses the jacket and becomes a very serious heel in the final weeks leading into Mania. It will be a great match, but right now it's being greatly overshadowed by the big two matches on the card.
Bigger geek? The Miz and Zack Ryder? I actually feel bad for The Miz. Zack Ryder is a talentless goof. I know it will probably end up at Mania the he humiliates Eve, but there's nothing they could ever do to save this guy to me.
Truth is right up there on the geek squad as well. The Little Jimmy deal stopped being funny about 8 months ago. Both he and Miz are being unjustly punished for the Survivor Series buyrate. Truth was squashed by Kane last week, while Miz got completely killed by Big Show.
