YO! Has your parent's relationship influenced your relationship(s)?...

[dirtylicious]

I think a negative relationship has a much stronger effect on a child's view on marriage much more than a positve one does.

 

[belle155]

Originally Posted by AirAnt23

YO!

While I am not 26, I don't see myself getting into a relationship during college at all. I have seen how it has affected my boys and their is too much drams in relationships for me.

That's really why I never had one. I never even believed in high school "relationships", those are a joke to me. Then when I got to college I thought, "why get a girlfriend now?" Started to be a little more open to the idea as graduation got closer... but now, I've realized all these chics are crazy. So, I'm dealing with younger chics hoping to catch them before some dude scar her or before she jack her credit up.


But I was looking to see if anyone saw similarities in their parents' relationship and your own.


DF!!!
thats what you gotta do my dude. im 25, she was 20, just turned 21. we went out for almost a year but now that got put on hold. im still out nabout daily but girls/"women" my age dont cut it like you said. they got baggage out the trunk. most of em already have kids/married/divorced. itsnuts out here

 

[prurientsole]

My parents raised me and my sister well, but I learned a ton about how NOT to treat your spouse from watching them.

 

[seasoned vet]

Kartoon2005 wrote:

---

AirAnt23 wrote:

---

I (at 26) have never had a girlfriend.

- on tha real? my pops was is a womanizer. im the only one between him and my mother but i have 7 siblings. the youngest is 2years old (my pops is 50). growing up i seen all the drama in his life playing around with females and it influenced me greatly growing up. ive always been thetype to not play games, and if i had a girlfriend that was it. if i wanted to be with more than one person i didnt commit to one person.
- it never made sense to me why cats tie themselves down just to play around? i mean what sense does that make?? if you wanna sleep around then do it, dontwaste time lying to a female about commitment when its bound to blow up in your face.

- ive seen so many instances of my pops getting caught up in lies its ridiculous. he snapped his Achilles once, had a cast up to his hip, and one of his babymamas came through with a crowbar and straight took it to dude

.

- but me? in the exact opposite of my pops all from paying attention to the stuff he went through. its crazy because most cats get exposed to something likethat and still come up doing the same things, making the same mistakes.

 

[dirtylicious]

- it never made sense to me why cats tie themselves down just to play around? i mean what sense does that make?? if you wanna sleep around then do it, dont waste time lying to a female about commitment when its bound to blow up in your face.
for a lot of them....they're scared....they want to be that playboy they dream of being...but at the same time they need that comfort ofsomething stable

for the rest...they just don't give a damn

 

[blackmagnus514]

I think a negative relationship has a much stronger effect on a child's view on marriage much more than a positve one does.
Def agreed.

 

[heliumclinton]

Refuse to have a relationship my moms and pops had. Got my moms prego 3 months later got locked up for life smh..

On the other hand I think that made me 'soft' when it comes to girls cus I think of everything my moms been through, not a good look

 

[chockiwi]

It's really scary when you think about it...it's like when people say you'll eventually turn into your parents

My dad is 28 years older than my mom
I've only dated a younger guy once in my life and he was younger by a couple of months...
I know many of the traits that I look for in a man are those traits of my father
I think good or bad your parent's relationship effects that people you choose to be in a relationship with...
Sometimes you look for the total opposite or exactly the same...

 

[ThaxbyChamblis]

Originally Posted by AirAnt23

YO! The biz...

I was eating with 2 of my homegirls last week, talking about how I (at 26 24) have never had a girlfriend. Most of the young women I deal with are friends - some very close, others just friends.

That's really why I never had one. I never even believed in high school "relationships", those are a joke to me. Then when I got to college I thought, "why get a girlfriend now?" Started to be a little more open to the idea as graduation got closer... but now, I've realized all these chics are crazy. So, I'm dealing with younger chics hoping to catch them before some dude scar her or before she jack her credit up.that I kinda !++!+! up.

 

[chico dusty]

I think it does. Like said earlier, I was fortunate to have both around & watched them tear each other apart. Lookin at them, I always asked if your nothappy, why stay together & break each other down? The argument that it was for us is BS in our house. I kinda have the same outlook in whateverrelationship I'm in.

 

[seasoned vet]

Dirtylicious wrote:

---

- it never made sense to me why cats tie themselves down just to play around? i mean what sense does that make?? if you wanna sleep around then do it, dont waste time lying to a female about commitment when its bound to blow up in your face.
for a lot of them....they're scared....they want to be that playboy they dream of being...but at the same time they need that comfort of something stable

for the rest...they just don't give a damn

- man, when i was in the military i seen so many cases of this, i mean outrageous cases.

- i worked with this dude that would bring a change of clothes to work on Friday. after work change his clothes at the job, and would not go home untilMonday......after work, and had a wife at home with 3 kids

. dude acted like his wife kept him in the basement chained up or something.

- military cats are the worst! they treat their wives like this then go over seas for a year plus and expect their wives not to cheat on them while their gone.that same dude i talked about before got orders to Korea (the tour is a year, and you cant take spouses) so they threw a going away for him. i go to theparty....why dude wife is trying to get at me right there at the party?? im trying to ignore the chick, then she brings another wife over there, now they bothcoming at me right there in front of everybody.
- a week or so later after dude left, homegirl gets a hold of his recall roster, gets my number, and calls me to come over

. i declined and havent seen ortalked to her since

 

[jamergrady]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

I think a negative relationship has a much stronger effect on a child's view on marriage much more than a positve one does.

Def agreed.
Me too.

 

[vasweetz]

They made me at one point, very pessimistic toward marriage,
But I learned from them what NOT to do if I do ever get married.

 

[5iveonit]

Watching the current dissolution of my parents marriage has me seriously questioning marriage or any type of committed relationship for that matter.

I've been in a relationship for almost 3 yrs and I'm feeling like "what's the point" as I watch both my parents blatantly creep on eachother.

 

[seuqram onec]

Yo what it is APEZZY...My parents go divorced when I was like 9 I think...and I saw that my mom was hurt and I was too....so for a while I wouldn't reallylet any female get all of my heart...I was "doing me"... but I choose to settle down and I found my wife...now things are like my dad and his wifesmarriage...I think everything that we do is just learned behavior...

 

[mytmouse76]

i hope to have a relationship like my parents...i'm 21 they been together almost 25 yrs...my dad is a mans man...my mom makes more than him but he runs thehouse...my mom plays her postion he plays his...

 

[darthska]

I grew up harboring deep animosity and resentment towards my mom, and disrespect towards my dad.

So I was only interested in girls that were basically the complete opposite of the things I hated about my mom, and I've always tried to be the completeopposite of the things I hate about my dad.

My mom is very 'hippie', thinking that nothing in life is important, everything's everything, and that smiling your way through problems isperfectly reasonable conflict resolution. She gave up on my sister and I when we were 3 and 5, and moved to the other side of the country.

The opposite of that? Someone who realizes that problems aren't the end of the world, but if they're going to get solved, the solution is going to be alittle more involving than just a Coke and a smile; someone who realizes that there should never, EVER be a reason to give up on their kids. If my son were togrow up and be the next maniacal serial killer, I would visit him in prison every single chance I had, most likely NEVER going longer than a month withoutseeing him. And my wife? She's the exact same way; she would never... COULD never... give up on him.

My dad? He lies about everything, and he never takes responsibility for anything he does. He gets mad because other people make him mad, not because he has atemper. If he's late, it's because there was traffic, not because he has poor time management skills. Whatever it is, if he fails, it's someoneelse's fault, not his own.

So I try to be the opposite of that. I'm as open and honest with people as the situation calls for, very rarely using deceit or dishonesty as a viablecover-up. 'Tell the truth, and you never have to remember anything.' (Mark Twain, I think). And I try to always look at things I do wrong and evaluatewhat I could have done different, neverminding the circumstances/people around me in the situation.