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DONT DO IT BRO....THE WORLD NEEDS YOU, YOU JUST DONT REALISE IT YET!!!
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I got half way through this post and stopped reading it. It seems to me that you got off to a rough start but that you are WELL on your way to amedaling the competition in the end IF you keep up the effort.. If you seriously feel the need to cut your race short, DO IT. Don't talk about it, BE aboutit. But since we both know you you don't (you would have done it already...duh), stop pretending you do. So don't waste any more of or time... thatmeans yours and mine.... talking about $*%% you are not about in reality. Because with that said, I've seen wayworse scenarios get played out successfully in the end. So if this is your lil cry for help, stop crying and help yourself. So far, you've done exceptionally well and I commend you for it. Keep it up, good luck, and remember, it rainsEVERYWHERE on EVERYBODY under the sun. But if you look at the rain from the right perspective, you might just get tosee the rainbow.Originally Posted by RO RO 8
Seriously, my life sucks. First, my mother always wanted a daughter. I was an unplanned pregnancy. I was conceived in September 1990 and born June 1991. My mother was having difficulty with her boyfriend, and turned to my father for help. They ended up having me. My mother was a heavy smoker, but she said she stopped smoking when she conceived me, and started back up after she had me. I call BS on that because I was born with a heart murmur. Anyway, my grandma had a daughter November of 1993. (I know, weird. Well she was 43.) My grandmother was always busy, and my mother would take care of her daughter. My mother adores her, and to this day favors her. My mom makes a lot more money than my grandma, so my grandma can't give her daughter what my mother can. Today, I am 17, and I am on my own. I go to high school, work a full time job, and a part time job. I do not live with my mentally abusive mother. My mother doesn't do anything for me, yet she gives money to my aunt (my grandma's young daughter) whenever she needs it, which is typically ~$50-60 per week.
Throughout school, I have ALWAYS made honor roll, with the exception of the first marking period of 7th grade. I have a SAT score of 1900. I was always a well behaved young boy, yet my mother seemed to resent me. The other girl is the biggest smart !%% ever, very disrespectful and ungrateful, and does mediocre at best in school.
The reason I am on my own is because my mother was mentally abusive to me, to the point where it became physical. She threw a glass dish at my face that required me to get 7 stitches. After I forgave her, she was more mentally abusive and I pushed her to get her away from me, and she threw all of my stuff out. I ran away from home. She found my car and took everything from it (plates, registration, insurance) and she won't give me the title for it. So I have a car that I can't drive.
I have an uncle who hates me because of the stuff my mother put him through. I laid him out in the middle off the street a couple of weeks ago and got arrested. Charges were dropped tho.
I have a warrant in PA for not turning in a suspended license.
My father doesn't give a damn about me. I found him last year after not seeing him since I was 5. All I ever get is excuses. He supports his 4 other kids, yet when I go to him, he is broke, or doesn't have time for me.
I don't know what to do, or where to turn. I am always depressed, and I have anger problems. I do very well in school and I pride myself in getting the best grades possible, yet I've been arrested/cited several times. I'm sorry if I'm ranting here. Most of you people here don't care and will suggest that I /myself. I cry myself to sleep every night because I am living a life that sucks. I look at myself in the mirror and shake my head and ask #!! did i do wrong. i feel like i don't deserve what i get.
Cliffs:
-my mother wanted a girl and resents me
-abused by my mother
-currently abandoned by my mother and father and family
-depression/anger problems
-17 and on my own
-life sucks
-seriously considering offing myself
Kyle, I completely understand where you are coming from. However, my meet-ups with you were in 2007. I was 15 when we met. The money that I usedto buy the Jordan1s package was scholarship money that was returned to me from my private school I used to go to in New York, before moving to PA. Also, if youremember, when we planned to meet up for the true blue spiz'ikes, I cancelled our meet, and ended up buying them myself at the spot. This is because rightbefore I was going to meet up with you, my mother had finished beating the crap out of me for asking her when she was leaving, as we had a specific time wewere supposed to meet up. In reference to my mother talking to you about me being a good kid, my mother is the biggest fake and hypocrite in the world. She canput on an act for anyone. She hates her mother-in-law with a PASSION, yet when she comes over, my mother makes her feel right at home, and waits for her toleave to vent her dislike towards her. My mother is extremely immoral.Originally Posted by Classy Freshman
Hmmmmm...
This is my opinion... pure speculation.
I met you and your mother on a few occasions for meet-ups, and she came off as VERY supportive of you. If I can remember she purchased some of the shoes for you because she said you were a good kid and you got good grades. Plus if I remember, she did drive you to my house which is about 20-30 minutes from where you live.
Listen... there are going to be some things that your parents say or do that we don't understand while we are young. You are at an age where you may have gotten rebelious or think you are independent enough that you don't have to listen to her, and maybe thats how the friction started. Now like I said that is pure speculation... but your mother seemed like a genuinely good woman with your best interests as her priority. I used to think my mother was mentaly abusive for some of the things she would say to me or make me do. She also used to punch me in the face. But as I got older I understood her angle and now I appreciate it. It wasn't abuse but a lesson in life. Your mother is supposed to be hard on you especially because your father is gone, and because she wants the best for you. Talk to her, try to reconcile. But offing yourself??? Come on now thats just dumb.
Like I said, maybe I am wrong. If I am wrong and she really is a bad woman and you really want revenge, let me get at her. Your mom's could get it and every time we met up, she looked at me with a little twinkle in her eye. I'm not even kidding. I'll splack on her then I will play with her emotions. That might not phase her though because I could tell she is an old head with a little Staten Island swag and she might know the deal. But I'll do that for you. I mean I hope it wouldn't have to come to that, but you are a good kid and I'd rather help you in any way than to have you off yourself.
So where do you live now? PM me if you want to chat for real. And when you turn 18 I could line up a bad broad for you, free of charge. As a matter of fact, if you still go to Parkland maybe I could link you up with the young boy Jaleel. He is like a GOD out there and I'm sure he can get you into something. Well let me know.
Originally Posted by saymoregotsole
Life is so short it will end before you know it...naturally. So keep living man there's a lot waiting for you.
quotes deep, i like datOriginally Posted by Air Kalo
Originally Posted by saymoregotsole
Life is so short it will end before you know it...naturally. So keep living man there's a lot waiting for you.
Word. It's Always darkest before dawn, son.
Originally Posted by Food4Thgt
Smoke some green...
Originally Posted by Shpat
If you are truly ready to die, then you have No ties to bind you. If you have No ties, there are no consequences to your actions and your future does not require planning. If you are serious about dying then things such as fear and doubt are now irrellevent to you. Before you take the leap into the great unknown of death, whynot first walk away from everything you know and see what you find? Pick a highway and walk down it. Hop on a train car and ride it. Get hired onto a ship and leave at any port you think might be interesting and wander strange lands. If you are ready to die, then simply walking away is not a huge step for you. There is absolutely no reason to not at least try it first. Afterall, whats the worst that could happen to you? Perhaps having nothing to lose could end up setting you free. Most people live their entire lives enslaved to constructs they create for themselves. You apparently are prepared to rid yourself of such concerns so you should attempt to make abandoning your life work in your favour for you first. You have nothing to lose.