- 25,260
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- Jan 30, 2010
If u don't mind can u expand on the changes u had wit ppl u mentioned ? ...Sometimes the ppl around u are the hardest to deal with when u trying to changeThe big thing for me since my relapse was getting to the heart of what I need to do differently that fits ME and my interest, how can i make my recovery mine(and fun), because in the previous 10 months I was doing a meeting everyday and I literally thought that was enough, but it wasn't and I lacked other tools that I should've been building so I'd be prepared for every situation. I was just going through the motions and that is no bueno.
So I started thinking of things I like to do and how I can put a sober twist on them.
I love reading so I picked up the NA handbook, a book on being sober(written by the head Dr. from the Betty ford Clinic, great for starting out) and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Apparently Robert Louis Stevenson was a huge alcoholic and the book is essentially based on his split personalities, the irony of this is I have 2 of his other books but never thought to pick up this one.
I also listen to podcast so I started listening to sober podcast, I usually just listen to one that deals with how I'm feeling or something that will make me grow stronger in my program.
I love art and my wife for christmas recently got me a jackson pollock piece, so I'm looking to get a recovery/addiction piece of art to have in my home office. I need kind reminders of who I will be for the rest of my life(a recovering alcoholic) I've accepted now, it's time to embrace it
I journal daily, it helps get the crazy and emotion out, for me Alcohol numbed everything and without that I'm usually feeling a certain type of way on a bunch of things, journaling is a great way for self expression
Fellowship at meetings is huge and it's not easy, but the people you meet in programs/meetings will def understand what you're going through and how you feel. I LOVE my wife, no question but sometimes, she just doesn't get it and that's fine. Get phone numbers when you can, it's easier if you do a program at a hospital or rehab place since you'll see people on a more consistent basis, that's who I lean on when things get rough. If you're not ready for that, I hope you have a friend that you can truly call that. While I haven't had huge confrontations with people, there was def a change in the wind when I decided I had a problem and wanted to be sober, can't front it hurt(and still does sometimes) just on the sole fact that I've been there for someone through some of their extremely tough times and this is honestly the biggest thing that I've had to deal with and they decided to not be there for me. Life goes on though, and the first lesson I learned in this program is that
just because you were there for someone, doesn't mean they can or even have the capacity to be there for you when you need them.
A huge thing I do is avoid house parties and bars altogether. If i go to either of those things the people I'm meeting there need to be moving out of town AND I actually have to appreciate their company sober, if not then what is really the point of me going and honestly I'm doing them a favor if I'm not feeling it, at least i'm being genuine about it. If I do decide to go I ALWAYS make time to go to a meeting BEFORE the actual social event. I get pretty anxious and it's a great reminder that I do have a problem with alcohol, brings me down to earth and humbles me. If I get to cocky or comfortable, it's over for me. Luckily most of the people I hang out with know what I'm trying to do, so usually at get togethers they'll make sure to have soda or some juice on hand and i'm never really bugged about why I'm not drinking. If the alcohol and soda are just all on one table my wife never has a problem grabbing my drinks for me. That's also an unspoken rule for us at concerts too, she gets the drinks.
that's honestly all I have for now, or my main things that go to when it comes to working my program. I personally did chips at meetings but seeing how that went the first time around, I just want to get my year chip so I can put it on my keychain(another reminder) and let that be that.