Coffee Drinkers Unappreciation Vol. I Hate You

[The_Isomotion31]

1 small cup every other day or so. Depending on how I am feeling or what I am eating for breakfast.

 

[ryanbbn23]

Big J 33 wrote:

Originally Posted by ryanbbn23

ill go to the grave without ever having a drop touch my tongue.
I have no idea why anyone would want to drink that stuff. please enlighten me. 

It tastes good, it's helpful if I'm feeling sluggish or tired and along with healthy food options like almonds it can really be a good pick me up. It's been shown to have some health benefits (although I don't drink it for those reasons alone). Getting or having coffee with someone can be social
For OP, coffee can make that happen, but it varies from person to person. If I responded to coffee that way, then I'd probably stop. Thankfully, that's not the case.

sometimes i need a pick me up too at the office.  Water and an apple/banana work incredibly well.  I dont understand how people have an addiction to this.  thinking you need coffee to get your day going is completely physiological and just makes a person sound so dumb.

 

[bossdonvah]

Originally Posted by ai3mac1

Coffee is appreciated

 

[josebronx]

Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

Originally Posted by Grizzly Hebert

It's cool, bruh. Breathe and let it flow.

Just keep drinking. Your bowels will be come trained to quick evacution. Right now your guts are like FEMA in 05. Sloppy, unorganized, caught off guard, and all out scared. Keep at it, champ. Soon you'll be dropping some of the most graceful dumps of your life.

 this man knows what he is talking about.

i drink atleast 1 cup a day minimum, 7 days a week.  i just dont function correctly if i dont have a morning shower, a morning coffee, and of course, the morning poo poo.  that coffee induced morning poo poo helps kick start the day.  it gives me an extra bounce to my step feelin a little bit lighter and ready to go.

i swear my dog is the same way.  when i take her outside to drop a bomb she is all slow and lethargic.  as soon as she clears her bowels she is hoppin around like a little puppy all full of life.
  

yo me too

, best dumps are after coffee
I drink my coffee black tho, only add sugar when Im drink cuban colada. Not a big fan of those iced coffee drinks from starbucks... theyre mostly ice and sugar. 

Tempted to try those frappuccino tho 

 

[toast1985]

Gotta have my morning cup of coffee, followed by a nice morning poo.

 

[af1 1982]

Just got an iced coffee from Dunkin

My goodness for some reason, their coffee is miles ahead of any other place

 

[airjordan jb23]

I can't stand the smell of coffee

 

[kangaroobombs]

I love coffee. Drink 5-6 cups a day and I'm not white.
You guys sound like girls complaining about it smelling.
Tastes good to me. Especially a fresh brewed French press cup. Mmmm!

I never had a damn banana or apple give me energy to stay up.

 

[marcmac360]

I love coffee but the point is I need caffeine in the morning. I would take a red bull, green tea, whatever, just as long as the drug enters the bloodstream

 

[rocky437]

David Otunga disagrees with this thread. 

 

[monopolyman630]

Drinking an iced coffee as I type. Coffee is most def appreciated.

 

[lazyj10]

Necessity for my job...couldn't imagine busy season w/o it.

Having said that, I try to just go to 2 cups a week during non-season.

 

[atlsfinest]

Originally Posted by kangaroobombs

I love coffee. Drink 5-6 cups a day and I'm not white.
You guys sound like girls complaining about it smelling.
Tastes good to me. Especially a fresh brewed French press cup. Mmmm!

I never had a damn banana or apple give me energy to stay up.

I drink one cup and I'm wired for hours. You might want to get that checked out bruh

 

[swendro]

Originally Posted by oo206oo

Originally Posted by oidreez

you'll be alright b. i drink coffee maybe once a week or less

Lol this is hilarious.
Like, what does your frequency of coffee drinking have to do at all with him being alright?  Well done sir.

Yeah, there is some pretty good logic in this thread so far. Another one:

Originally Posted by ryanbbn23

Originally Posted by Shorty Doo Wop

Never drank coffee and never will

ill go to the grave without ever having a drop touch my tongue.
I have no idea why anyone would want to drink that stuff. please enlighten me. 

...really dude? Go to your grave? Just take a %%@+%%# sip.

 

[flipnkraut]

I drink 3-5 cups before lunch and maybe 1 or 2 after. We get free Starbucks at work too

 

[finallyfamous]

Got some coffee brewing right now

 

[thedeek]

I've never had coffee before in my 24 years of life, but is the boost in energy that big?

I'm pretty damn curious.

 

[Fresh Like Will]

Originally Posted by bruce negro

You guys are just so full of yourselves. Always talking bout, "Oh, I love coffee, it's the best way to start your morning!" As you type your reports and look all happy. Even my girlfriend is in on it, talking bout we need to have a keurig in my apartment. Coffee is the best thing since sliced bread, it's the bees knees, right? RIGHT?!

So why am I clutching my ankles for dear life right now on the toilet, huh? Huh? Every few seconds I can barely squeeze out a sentence on my iPhone before caffeine's **@+# ##* decides to give my large intestine another death rattle. Who do you people think you are, to act like you live this happy, caffeinated life, when in reality every morning you're bent over like Monica Lewinsky in the oval office? My girl and I share EVERYTHING and even she didn't tell me about this until it was too late:

Me: Hey, is this gonna make me doodoo?
Her: Yep, it will. Probably within minutes.
Me: I feel like I have to do it. Do I do it now, or later?!
Her: Right now.
Her: It's probably not going to be very comfortable.

This is just too much. No warning, just a quick, brown ambush. While I'm holed up, some other dude comes in, sits down, releases what sounded like a small typhoon, a baby crying, and Bangs making another single. He's probably gonna diddy-bop out of here with a smile on his face. I'm not sticking around to find out.

Cliffs: You coffee drinkers are a sick, sad bunch.

Spoiler

 

[odog24]

the part about bangs is too muchh 

love the smell of coffee but dont drink it

 

[based mod]

coffee + oatmeal in the mornings = best (poops) ever
i always have one in the morning at work and if i'm going to the gym that night, one before i leave work.

 

[lobotomybeats]

I drink way too much coffee, but I have noticed that coffee banter in an office is as much of a staple as the fat lonely lady in accounts payable's Curious Kitten calendar.
Three things monopolize office talk like no other.
1. Coffee
2. Grandkids
3. The announcement that there is cake in the breakroom for the fat lonely lady in accounts payable's birthday.

 

[kalikid23]

This is my desk... coffee FTW.

 

[trelvis tha thrilla]

Originally Posted by Shorty Doo Wop

Never drank coffee and never will

This. I hate the smell and taste of coffee and anything with a coffee like flavor.

 

[big j 33]

Originally Posted by ryanbbn23

sometimes i need a pick me up too at the office.  Water and an apple/banana work incredibly well.  I dont understand how people have an addiction to this.  thinking you need coffee to get your day going is completely physiological and just makes a person sound so dumb.


Yeah, I eat those things too.. and I drink coffee.. so? People can get addicted to the caffeine (they also make decaf for that very reason).. but you seem oddly angry at coffee drinkers.

 

[Thats My Word]

I drink a cup or two every week for the taste, it doesnt really give me an energy boost though.