Confessions

[mrrolex]

That's deep. I feel what ya saying though. We have complex minds, sometimes some of us make it even more complex and that can lead to our issues in this thread. I live in my head myself, and eat myself alive whilst doing so. I hide from my issues via smoking and drinking myself and it never avoids the situation, just makes it worse for when a actual decision has to be made.
I always say to ppl, the smartest person to listen to, is yourself. After all, you know you, better then anyone will ever. But listening to others as well does seem like a benefitial thing to start trying though

My PM's open

always in my mind/zone, 

overthinking kicks in turbo back when i was experimenting with the grass. 

still got some of that thinking going on but its best if you let it go. 

 

[ILLMATTERS]

always in my mind/zone, 

overthinking kicks in turbo back when i was experimenting with the grass. 

still got some of that thinking going on but its best if you let it go. 

Grass keeps me sane, i think lol. Smoked it for 12 years, issues only popped up last few years so im not putting it down to the grass. Had some horrific stuff happen in my life and my only escape has been smoking. We all need to escape i feel but yeh avoiding it tho, that's a issue in itself

 

[andretti]

First week of working while I head my headphones in I would have angry and negative thoughts towards my parents regarding events that happened in my child hood

**** makes me pissed off like no other yo

Ain't no second chances in this and I also feel a certain way when my friends tell dope stories from their childhood man **** makes me wild jealous angry n sad

That's all

 

[eashawty]

id almost rather just give a ***** some money to **** & skip all the bs, than spend both time & money tryna get to know each other & have to worry about if she bein genuine or if she just want somethin from me

 

[lauk4kicks]

Just found out one of my elementary school friends who I lost touch with in high school was named in the top 30 under 30 in Canada.
Feel like I've done even more nothing in my life now... sighhhhhhh work is stressful. Basically work 24 hrs with the amount of stuff I have to get ready of work after work.

 

[mr marcus]

been sluggish as hell since I lost my grandma in September. I'm not depressed or anything but I just noticed that I havent been "up" to do too much since then 

 

[301216baller]

Damn bra...keep your head up...I dont know what I would do if my grandparents passed away..them, my parents, and my bro keep me sane

Im going to start paying my grandparents to live here...they dont need the money but I feel like its the right thing to do untill I move out

 

[mr marcus]

yea man its tough.....first close death I've dealt with since I lost my lil cousin to cancer 13-14 years ago. I was always known as a "grandma" boy lol so losing her was like losing apart of me. I think it bothers me so much because I usually saw her at least once a week but didn't the week before she had her stroke. What makes it so bad is that weekend I kept telling myself to go see her but I didn't make time and she ended up having the stroke in her sleep early that monday morning. 

backstory is she was staying at my mom house some days and my aunt house on the other days. we all stay on the same side of town so it was easy to swing by either one of their houses. A month and a half before she passed she was put in a nursing home because her dementia got bad to the point it was tough on both my mom and aunt since they both work. The nursing home she moved to was on the other side of town so it was hard to make time to get over there as much since I have a kid, work full time, and in school again. 

Would do anything to be able to give her a hug and a kiss and tell her I love her one more time 

 

[301216baller]

Damn man [emoji]128532[/emoji]

 

[juangotti]

I get on average 4 hrs sleep a night. Doc told me i have insomnia. Gave me ambien. Took me 2 refills to finally say **** ambien.

On the days me and my girl chill, when she falls asleep i just lay in bed and act asleep. Sex helps me sleep but not all the time.

When we aint chillin i drink to fall asleep.

Insomnia is no joke. Causes bad judgement and bad decision making skills.

 

[ILLMATTERS]

I get on average 4 hrs sleep a night. Doc told me i have insomnia. Gave me ambien. Took me 2 refills to finally say **** ambien.

On the days me and my girl chill, when she falls asleep i just lay in bed and act asleep. Sex helps me sleep but not all the time.

When we aint chillin i drink to fall asleep.

Insomnia is no joke. Causes bad judgement and bad decision making skills.

Damn! I get 5-7 a night, I cant get to sleep at all unless im high af or drunk. I can sleep forever tho once im asleep.
You constantly thinking being the reason you awake?

 

[juangotti]

Yeah man i tend to think about a lot at night. But i think about **** all day. But when its quiet and its night time and dark bro everything just hits me harder.


And theres times where i aint thinkin about anything but trying to sleep. Ill be ossin and turning and gettin mad.


I got put on to melatolin and valerian root. Seperate pills.

I took 2 melatolins one night and was out an hour later. Slept unineruppted, and woke up feeling great. Not groggy.


Exercise helps to a certain extent.

 

[ILLMATTERS]

Yeah man i tend to think about a lot at night. But i think about **** all day. But when its quiet and its night time and dark bro everything just hits me harder.


And theres times where i aint thinkin about anything but trying to sleep. Ill be ossin and turning and gettin mad.


I got put on to melatolin and valerian root. Seperate pills.

I took 2 melatolins one night and was out an hour later. Slept unineruppted, and woke up feeling great. Not groggy.


Exercise helps to a certain extent.

Good to see Melatolin helped tho bro! Cant rely on it for ever though... Only thing I can suggest is to, concentrate on your breathing when trying to sleep. making sure your taking proper breathes etc. I dunno if its the breathing or the concentration part but it helps me fall asleep and I don't remember falling asleep. It dosent always work but worth a try.

Melatonin a sleeping tablet? What would happen if you took it during the day outta curiousity?

 

[juangotti]

Preciate ya bro.


And melatolin wont give you that doped up feeling. You take one, then you just start feelin sleepy and go to sleep with ease.

And yeah i agree, cant rely on it. Definetly considering switchin up my bad habits that i havent changed due to lack of sleep.

Will def consider that breathing. Gona try that and a diff sleep posture.

 

[ILLMATTERS]

Preciate ya bro.


And melatolin wont give you that dooed up feeling. You take one, then you just start feelin sleepy and go to sleep with ease.

And yeah i agree, cant rely on it. Definetly considering switchin up my bad habits that i havent changed due to lack of sleep.

Will def consider that breathing. Gona try that and a diff sleep posture.

Anytime fam.

Cool, I might try it out. Might. Its hard to change habits. Goodluck with it tho bro.

 

[s0lefunk]

smokings wack tho bruh 
all my boys are still doing it and its getting lame

the condensending comments, the over-analytical thinking, "catch up talk" every time, 

Co-sign. I can really relate to that over analytical thinking part. But one thing I noticed is the people still smoking aren't really doing anything with their lives. Talking mid 20s still at home w/ no job, no car, no ambition. I know its possible to smoke, gain, and maintain but it'll come to a point where you gotta drop the habit for a while or maybe for good to give yourself the best oppourtunity to succeed.

 

[mrrolex]

Co-sign. I can really relate to that over analytical thinking part. But one thing I noticed is the people still smoking aren't really doing anything with their lives. Talking mid 20s still at home w/ no job, no car, no ambition. I know its possible to smoke, gain, and maintain but it'll come to a point where you gotta drop the habit for a while or maybe for good to give yourself the best oppourtunity to succeed.

agreed. 

smoking grass affects the part of the brain where ambition, creativity, and motivation typically is found.

Not saying there is a direct correlation to how successful one may be if they smoked but those around me would just go tweet about how *****ed up their life is or how something just "blew" their day and whatnot. I did a google search and grass is a depressant. The media portrays it as a harmless drug, with no long term effects. We have rappers and entertainers  smoking it and making it look entirely positive... Most people get into it without know what it does. I'm pretty sure biologist and scientists don't know the long term effects of heavy users and birth conditions of those who smoke.

The mind is a truly a gift. A present. Don't overthink because at the end of the day, overthinking only stresses you out and prevents you from letting go and chillaxing. 

I'm not the perfect human but I have been striving to be a better me, every step of the way. 

 

[Bruce Banner]

Been telling my friends that but they don't listen .

 

[ILLMATTERS]

Im high as a kite. At work. Then gym. **** just affects ppl differently. Some need to stop because theyre brains not wired that way. Some can be as or even more productive.

 

[offset pow clow]

agreed. 


smoking grass affects the part of the brain where ambition, creativity, and motivation typically is found.


I did a google search and grass is a depressant. The media portrays it as a harmless drug, with no long term effects.

all types of false accusations

Theirs something called indica & sativa

 

[mrrolex]

all types of false accusations

Theirs something called indica & sativa

Ok go on their

 

[ILLMATTERS]

all types of false accusations

Theirs something called indica & sativa

Correct also. Indicas I find kill creativity, motivation all that stereotypical stuff.
Then theres Sativa.
Which has a different makeup then indica. Encourages creativity, motivation etc etc.
When I was in Amsterdam on holiday all I smoked was sativa, on purpose. And I was fully functional the whole time, walking everywhere. The one time I had indica when I was there I layed down in a café for 3 hours until it wore off. Know your green before you smoke it, something I go by

 

[calikev34]

I popped a melatonin for the first time last week
Woke up confused as **** with cold sweat and a raging boner
I don't even want to know what I was dreaming about


I also never remember my dreams. Maybe one time every couple of months


It's the deafening silence that keeps me awake at night. So I can only fall asleep to noise-- TV, music, or some night white noise celestial **** on youtube
Sleeping with the fan on really loud helps too

 

[mrrolex]

Correct also. Indicas I find kill creativity, motivation all that stereotypical stuff.
Then theres Sativa.
Which has a different makeup then indica. Encourages creativity, motivation etc etc.
When I was in Amsterdam on holiday all I smoked was sativa, on purpose. And I was fully functional the whole time, walking everywhere. The one time I had indica when I was there I layed down in a café for 3 hours until it wore off. Know your green before you smoke it, something I go by

well nowadays names are part of the game... you don't get a DSWT supreme shirt and really expect it to be DS... 

I got that purp i got this i got that. after 3 turnovers, its just grass

 

[willzway26]

U know what tho, I have a friend who only smokes reggie, back when everyone started smoking loud she was still w the reggie.

I just bumped into her.  Shawty used to be an architect but now she scoops ice cream at a high end frozen yogurt spot.

I used to always say reggie made ya feel lousy and drowsy.  Loud is always the opposite, I feel like all my problems are solved off the loud LOL