Confessions

I bumped into two girls I liked today. One of which was one of the four i ever caughr feelings for. She didnt even acknowledge me when i said hi. >: :(
 
I bumped into two girls I liked today. One of which was one of the four i ever caughr feelings for. She didnt even acknowledge me when i said hi. >: :(
you got to turn these negatives into positives. use it as motivation plusits for the better. you dont really want a girl like her
 
you got to turn these negatives into positives. use it as motivation plusits for the better. you dont really want a girl like her
She is actually pretty ugly. Her personality is bomb though. I don't mess with white(by culture) chicks but she was an exception. I know I'll end up with better.
 
I bumped into two girls I liked today. One of which was one of the four i ever caughr feelings for. She didnt even acknowledge me when i said hi. >: :(

Dont be so pessimistic. Unless you did something wrong to her, she probably didn't see you. It happens. She could've been busy or focused on something else. Most people are cordial enough to say hi to even acquaintances that say hi to them.
 
Not a confession but something for the fellas/ladies I've recently learned...your attitude is everything and you gotta get out of your head your gonna go crazy constantly rethinking the same negative thoughts...depression sucks idk about yal but Ima choose to be happy no matter what..
 
Sorry guys. A lot of people who say they care about me say I should seek help for clinical depression.

1. I cannot afford that
2. I do not want to be on Prozac or anything like that.
3. I know what is upsetting me. I am fixing it as best as possible but it takes time.
 
My mom isn't coming to my college graduation and she's really showing her true colors. She's had well over enough time to be prepared for this trip and she never made it a priority. All I've ever heard was excuses from my mother when it comes to things that I'm passionate about but she isn't. I can't have a adult conversation with her because she wants to talk to me like I'm a child and her pride won't let her be wrong even when it's evident that she is. She uses the fact that she raised my brother and I by herself to justify her actions..she doesn't realize that she is the reason why her and my brother don't talk any more and she uses the Bible only to support what she wants. I'm sick of this and I really don't know what to do but limit my contact with her but it sucks because it makes me re think my whole childhood and her ways.
 
Been thinking bout my ex and the relationship alot lately smh.. Itz been like 4 months since we last spoke but for some reason I can't get her out of my head. I've been working, reading, working out, and going out with friends but when im by myself the memories and the actual reason for the break up get to me... I got some new chicks but Im just smashing them, no feelingz for em at all..
Love is a crazy thing man because deep down I know she's not that good for me but damn I would love to have one more crack at it with her..
 
Sorry guys. A lot of people who say they care about me say I should seek help for clinical depression.

1. I cannot afford that
2. I do not want to be on Prozac or anything like that.
3. I know what is upsetting me. I am fixing it as best as possible but it takes time.


1. There are places that use a sliding scale. Meaning that how much you pay correlates to how much money you make. Even to the point that it can be free if you qualify. To get information about this call #211

2. Going to therapy doesn't require that you take an antidepressant.

3. While its good that you know what's upsetting you, there's something to be said about being able to talk and get off your chest the things that have been bothering you. Especially when its a non judgmental 3rd party who specializes in helping people with this type of thing.

I'm always in my thoughts so for the longest I just didn't see the point in talking to someone because I felt like, well..what could they tell me that I don't already know? I have to say that I was quite surprised and glad I made the choice to talk to someone. Its helped me view things from a different angle and see that in many cases I was actually making things worse with the way I was thinking.

Like I mentioned before, you can call #211 and they can give you information on places you can go to in your area and those that have a sliding cost scale as well as places that can be potentially free. Hit me up if you ever have any questions.
 
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I just wanna say that expectations from parents, family, etc are a *female dog* and stifle the creativity of a lot of people.

Agreed. The expectations and pressure is so brutal sometimes especially from my parents who have no lives currently.

To actually confess though, my family who lives in my city is jealous of me. My parents hate that I'm smarter than them and have confidence, and my sister hates me because I'm always smashing different girls and going on dates when she never goes out with any guys. I'm a year older than her and my major in university is also way more useful than hers. My graduation is this June.

They all want me to fail. I can't wait to begin working full time and soon cut them all out of my life which will kill them on the inside. The motivation of how good that will feel drives me.
 
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My wife is due in a month, and while I put on a brave face for her, I'm scared as hell!

Not of being a Daddy- I'm way too excited for that, but scared for her because I'm hoping she'll have a good, and quick delivery.

I pray that nothing goes wrong and i can't tell her i'm thinking that way because I know she's scared too. This is our first child and we both don't know what to expect when she goes into labor.

We've taken classes and stuff, but that only goes so far...

This is the only thing i feel like i can't share with her (for obvious reasons- i don't want to scare her even more or put any more burden on her) and it sucks because we're both used to being able to lean on each other for support.....
 
Been thinking bout my ex and the relationship alot lately smh.. Itz been like 4 months since we last spoke but for some reason I can't get her out of my head. I've been working, reading, working out, and going out with friends but when im by myself the memories and the actual reason for the break up get to me... I got some new chicks but Im just smashing them, no feelingz for em at all..
Love is a crazy thing man because deep down I know she's not that good for me but damn I would love to have one more crack at it with her..

I know that feel bro. When time/space/self-improvement/meeting as or more amazing women doesn't help, knowing she has moved far on, all I can do is continue to do the same. I live with it just like a nagging injury till the next person sparks that connection and pushes her out ta my head. What helps is looking back I've forgotten far more women I've been in love with than I remember. Though this one feels different. I tried but her responses were unnecessarily cold and borderline disrespectful on simple conversation, I don't put up with that with anyone, so that also helps.
 
I want my heart to kill me. I told everyone to whom it concerned thst I went to a doctor and that I'm fine, but I never went anywhere. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I don't feel like there is anything left here for me. I want to be laying down one day, or out running on the trails and go into cardiac arrest. Somewhere I wouldn't be found for awhile.

I hate politics and everything they stand for, but I realize a government is necessary with the human qualities that we all share.

I take my turtle on walks.

I'm really calm and collective on the outside, but on the inside I'm uneasy and full of hatred.

I often imagine myself as Huey Freeman (I'm light skinned, with an Afro, and I am always scowling) for no reason.

I filled out a membership form for the Black Panthers, I am deciding whether to submit it or not.

I go beyond myself, just so I can see what my limits really are.

I find myself too morally sound sometimes, I watched Zero Dark Thirty and got mad at the beginning how they treated the terrorist.
 
I want my heart to kill me. I told everyone to whom it concerned thst I went to a doctor and that I'm fine, but I never went anywhere. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I don't feel like there is anything left here for me. I want to be laying down one day, or out running on the trails and go into cardiac arrest. Somewhere I wouldn't be found for awhile.

I hate politics and everything they stand for, but I realize a government is necessary with the human qualities that we all share.

I take my turtle on walks.

I'm really calm and collective on the outside, but on the inside I'm uneasy and full of hatred.

I often imagine myself as Huey Freeman (I'm light skinned, with an Afro, and I am always scowling) for no reason.

I filled out a membership form for the Black Panthers, I am deciding whether to submit it or not.

I go beyond myself, just so I can see what my limits really are.

I find myself too morally sound sometimes, I watched Zero Dark Thirty and got mad at the beginning how they treated the terrorist.
yo if you get an arc reactor installed, that's never gonna happen.  
laugh.gif
  naw, you sound like a pretty cool dude, i would take my turtle on walks too.  maybe you should apply for the panthers, give life a second chance, my dad's JO used to date a dude in the panthers and always has good stories.
 
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I want my heart to kill me. I told everyone to whom it concerned thst I went to a doctor and that I'm fine, but I never went anywhere. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I don't feel like there is anything left here for me. I want to be laying down one day, or out running on the trails and go into cardiac arrest. Somewhere I wouldn't be found for awhile.


I hate politics and everything they stand for, but I realize a government is necessary with the human qualities that we all share.


I take my turtle on walks.


I'm really calm and collective on the outside, but on the inside I'm uneasy and full of hatred.


I often imagine myself as Huey Freeman (I'm light skinned, with an Afro, and I am always scowling) for no reason.


I filled out a membership form for the Black Panthers, I am deciding whether to submit it or not.


I go beyond myself, just so I can see what my limits really are.


I find myself too morally sound sometimes, I watched Zero Dark Thirty and got mad at the beginning how they treated the terrorist.

yo if you get an arc reactor installed, that's never gonna happen.  
laugh.gif

  naw, you sound like a pretty cool dude, i would take my turtle on walks too.  maybe you should apply for the panthers, give life a second chance, my dad's JO used to date a dude in the panthers and always has good stories.

You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to walk a turtle. They have no sense of real direction so she just goes left and right whenever. :lol

As for the panthers, it has my attention. 8o
 
I want my heart to kill me. I told everyone to whom it concerned thst I went to a doctor and that I'm fine, but I never went anywhere. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I don't feel like there is anything left here for me. I want to be laying down one day, or out running on the trails and go into cardiac arrest. Somewhere I wouldn't be found for awhile.

I can relate to that because I don't take care of myself hoping my condition, drugs, or my self destructive behavior kills me. There is nothing for me here. Like you I am not actively suicidal, but I don't fear death. I am pissed that I crawled out of a totalled car unscathed. I thought I was going (and was secretly hoping) to die. I wake up sad that I am alive. It is torture. If there is a god out there (which there isnt) I find it cruel and unusual that he would punish me with a bevy of health problems instead of just killing me off.

I see someone I find attractive I do not talk to em. With my track record it wasn't going to go anywhere anyway. And I no longer want to try.
 
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^The fact that no one can tell that I need help in my life is an indication that it isnt even worth it for me to seek help.
 
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^Say I do seek help.
I will still be the ugly dude with no one who truly cares for him outside those who are forced to. Those who are "forced" to are doing a lousy job at it. 40% of my reason for being this way in the first place.
 
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