Confessions

[uncfatfan]

I just apologized but I think we are done for real. That statement about the kids hurt her deep.

Just sleep on it, and talk about it tomorrow.. Or at a better time, hope everything works out

 

[wayniac211]

I just apologized but I think we are done for real. That statement about the kids hurt her deep.

sometimes time away helps. Separated hella times with my old lady and we always end up back together

 

[robtoofresco]

@spizike & @nawghty

I get where y'all coming from, believe me.

My pops went to prison when I was around 1 & got out when I was 5 (?)

By that time he was a stranger to me. I never really loved him... it was weird.

He legit had to have his own room because I didn't want him sleeping with my mom

I repeat, I was around 5.

He wasn't around all the time & he finally kicked rocks for good when him & my mom split when I was around 9.

My pops passed when I was 11. W/o going into too much detail, dude was a street cat & ya'll know statistically speaking, a majority of the time there's only two ways out the game.

So like I said, trust, I feel where y'all coming from.

In retrospect, I let a small amount of my emotions surface that night of my post. I've been working on that, though. Everyday I'm improving.

I'm still picking my boy up for some at home schooling that he receives weekly but I haven't picked him up on the weekends like before since that post.

It's a respect thing.

Plus, she's bluffing. She'll crack sooner rather than later. I know this for a fact.

These last two days I've been jovial as hell btw. I think this quote by Hellen Keller that I came across might have something to do with it.

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”

World...

Here I come

 

[the natural mystic]

Rob, you need to see a therapist on the real. I don't think you have delt with the issues with your pops. That could be affecting you in ways you don't even realize.


My lady and I finally started talking again and we are seeing a therapist. Without getting my hopes up, I think we will be alright. Thanks for the advice fellas.

 

[spizike231]

I agree ^

I'm still going to therapy for how my Mom left my life.. I'm pretty much past it now thanks to talking about it and dealing with the problems.. a lot of things have come up in how I react to things and where I draw the line on things, that as I spoke about them I realized that they all tied back to how my Mom treated me and left.

Once I knew that, it was easier to cope with and fix.

In fact, in a couple of months I'm going to get a tattoo that signifies I'm past all of that noise.. I can't keep letting her drag me down mentally. I can't keep blaming myself for her downfalls and unhappiness.

 

[ogmcmxcii]

I'm in rut (money, credit, living situation)

Depression for 6 years on and off

I hate seeing people doing better than me

I hate when my mom compares to my successful siblings (that eats me alive inside)

My inner evil is clawing its way to the surface

When my day 1 real homie moved back to California in 2011

I should have went with him and started a new opportunity for myself

Alabama is like a dark cloud I'm living in and trying to escape

This state holds my failures, close calls and near misses, dirt i was involved in etc etc

Bull **** and drugs tempt me every ******* day

Feel like I'm Slippin word to DMX

Good Kid, Unstable Mind

I just want to go ghost for awhile

I Hate Women

I hate society

 

[tekthemaestro]

I'm in rut (money, credit, living situation)

Depression for 6 years on and off

I hate seeing people doing better than me

I hate when my mom compares to my successful siblings (that eats me alive inside)

My inner evil is clawing its way to the surface

When my day 1 real homie moved back to California in 2011

I should have went with him and started a new opportunity for myself

Alabama is like a dark cloud I'm living in and trying to escape

This state holds my failures, close calls and near misses, dirt i was involved in etc etc

Bull **** and drugs tempt me every ******* day

Feel like I'm Slippin word to DMX

Good Kid, Unstable Mind

I just want to go ghost for awhile

I Hate Women

I hate society

most of this **** is normal, and you gave the solution within your complaint. if a town holds no value or opportunity for you anymore, why are you still in it? you hating to see people do better than u is just some sucker **** tho. that is literally, hating. dont be that way. instead, ask those people for some tidbits of advice. you'll be surprised what you can learn just by asking. drugs are for people who got time to waste. if you're unsatisfied with your life right now, you dont have time to waste. get to making your life better instead of being tempted to waste more time. time to start looking up housing in cali or GA if i were you.

 

[Velle47]

I'm in rut (money, credit, living situation)

Depression for 6 years on and off

I hate seeing people doing better than me

I hate when my mom compares to my successful siblings (that eats me alive inside)

My inner evil is clawing its way to the surface

When my day 1 real homie moved back to California in 2011

I should have went with him and started a new opportunity for myself

Alabama is like a dark cloud I'm living in and trying to escape

This state holds my failures, close calls and near misses, dirt i was involved in etc etc

Bull **** and drugs tempt me every ******* day

Feel like I'm Slippin word to DMX

Good Kid, Unstable Mind

I just want to go ghost for awhile

I Hate Women

I hate society

which part of bata you from i'm in Birmingham trying to get out

 

[ogmcmxcii]

which part of bata you from i'm in Birmingham trying to get out

[emoji]128563[/emoji] Wow small world. Homewood area

 

[ogmcmxcii]

most of this **** is normal, and you gave the solution within your complaint. if a town holds no value or opportunity for you anymore, why are you still in it? you hating to see people do better than u is just some sucker **** tho. that is literally, hating. dont be that way. instead, ask those people for some tidbits of advice. you'll be surprised what you can learn just by asking. drugs are for people who got time to waste. if you're unsatisfied with your life right now, you dont have time to waste. get to making your life better instead of being tempted to waste more time. time to start looking up housing in cali or GA if i were you.

I got to clear some things to my name and handle some last business

Trying to serve in Navy in a couple months (getting back in shape, getting my mind right, hitting the books again)

The reason I said that is because my energy and happiness gets drained if I keep focusing on someone else's come up. It's like cnn showing the same negative **** all over again

My pride gets in the way a lot.
So I rather tough it out on my own.
I'm like Vegeta but whose only one weakness is his Pride. And that's the one thing I hold on tight sadly.

 

[SIETE TRES LA]

 

most of this **** is normal, and you gave the solution within your complaint. if a town holds no value or opportunity for you anymore, why are you still in it? you hating to see people do better than u is just some sucker **** tho. that is literally, hating. dont be that way. instead, ask those people for some tidbits of advice. you'll be surprised what you can learn just by asking. drugs are for people who got time to waste. if you're unsatisfied with your life right now, you dont have time to waste. get to making your life better instead of being tempted to waste more time. time to start looking up housing in cali or GA if i were you.

I got to clear some things to my name and handle some last business

Trying to serve in Navy in a couple months (getting back in shape, getting my mind right, hitting the books again)

The reason I said that is because my energy and happiness gets drained if I keep focusing on someone else's come up. It's like cnn showing the same negative **** all over again

My pride gets in the way a lot.
So I rather tough it out on my own.
I'm like Vegeta but whose only one weakness is his Pride. And that's the one thing I hold on tight sadly.

If you're serious about the Navy and need some inspiration, Please dawg ....check out this book written about one of the most respected guys in one of the most respected unit's within the Special Operations Community. 

Rundown:

Adam Brown

-Meth head

-Coke head

-Homeless

-Got sober

-Became A Navy Seal

-Got his dominant shooting hand crushed and instead of leaving the Navy he learned how to shoot just as well with his left.

-Lost his right eye in battle

-Made it through the selection process for DEVGRU aka Seal Team 6 with one *ucking eye 

-Had surgery on both ankles and arthritis and still deployed with Seal Team 6

This isn't an autobiography because well this man died in combat, and chances are he would have never written one anyways. But everyone who knew his story knew how insane it was and had to get together and write it in his honor. This ish got me through some of the hardest times in my life. Give it a read and I promise you this man's will power will give you that push you need. Here's the link to it

 

[Roderick Kingsley]

I am envious of people who actually have good relationships with their dads.

90% of our interactions is him yelling at me. He always complains to my family that I never talk to him.... Thing is, whenever I try, it always turns to him yelling and cussing at me.
He never listens to me.

I feel like I wasn't able to grow and find my niche because he never let me do anything if it's not related to my studies. I feel like I'm so far behind in life when it comes to experiences. That makes me sad.

I feel like I do nothing right in his eyes. I know I'm not a bad kid. It's like, the only way I can satisfy him is to be a Harvard-educated doctor, education-wise.

I just want to make him proud. Even studying in front of his face, showing him my papers and exam scores won't suffice.

It makes me sad that my aunts and uncles and my significant other are ten billion times more supportive and understanding than he is.

Like, that's not right man. **** legit brings down my self esteem.

Trying to keep my spirits up, but it's hard. I have no choice but to ride it out until I get married and have a place of my own.

 

[dunkfan84]

I am envious of people who actually have good relationships with their dads.

90% of our interaction is him yelling at me.

It's like, I do nothing right in his eyes. I know I'm not a bad kid.

It's like, the only way I can satisfy him is to be a Harvard-educated doctor, education-wise.

It makes me sad that my aunts and uncles and my significant other are ten billion times more supportive and understanding than he is.

Like, that's not right man. **** legit brings down my self esteem.

Trying to keep my spirits up, but it's hard. I have no choice but to ride it out until I get married and have a place of my own.

u must be asian. LMAO>

 

[airbornvic]

My pops is the same way. He'll just start yelling when I makes good points or whatever.

 

[Velle47]

[emoji]128563[/emoji] Wow small world. Homewood area

Nice...keep your head up and get out of here bro...nothing to do here cept work for UAB

 

[a blinkin]

Typically stick to lurking in this thread. It used to be really therapeutic for me, but an ex used to lurk my NT account and hit me up with screenshots where I practically confessed to being an ain't **** individual. Luckily for me, I filled that particular confession with lies since I had the budding suspicion that she was NT stalking me. She still might be for all I know, but luckily she's way in the rear view.

I keep having dreams where I snap on my mother, both verbally and physically. I have no idea where this is coming from because I love my moms more than anything and we're in a pretty good space right now. I always wake up with my heart racing and it worries me why these dreams keep occurring.

I drink wayyy too much and write far too little. I have an opportunity in front of me and I'm fearful that I'm going to let it pass me by because of my affinity for the weekends.

My girl and I have been arguing heavy since Feb because I have trust issues. Some dude facetimed her at midnight and she didn't take the call. She said she didn't know why he called, and got defensive about not having anything to hide. Then she mentioned a picture I posted on Instagram in an attempt to divert, but I told her flat out I saw what she was doing and called her on her bs. I told her it was a shady move and, knowing myself, I'd probably question my trust for her. Surely enough, I recalled every instance where I thought things she did were shady and that lead us to the point where I began to shut down. Now we hardly speak, and I have no idea if we're even together at this point. Thing is, I haven't been the best boyfriend since this tift (I'll leave it at that). At this point, I don't even know if it's worth attempting to fix it or if it's best to just chalk it up.

I hate my job, but it pays the bills. Just gotta keep grinding so that I can do what it is that I really want to do.

 

[andretti]

P4l

 

[beh235]

I am envious of people who actually have good relationships with their dads.

90% of our interactions is him yelling at me. He always complains to my family that I never talk to him.... Thing is, whenever I try, it always turns to him yelling and cussing at me.
He never listens to me.

I feel like I wasn't able to grow and find my niche because he never let me do anything if it's not related to my studies. I feel like I'm so far behind in life when it comes to experiences. That makes me sad.

I feel like I do nothing right in his eyes. I know I'm not a bad kid. It's like, the only way I can satisfy him is to be a Harvard-educated doctor, education-wise.

I just want to make him proud. Even studying in front of his face, showing him my papers and exam scores won't suffice.

It makes me sad that my aunts and uncles and my significant other are ten billion times more supportive and understanding than he is.

Like, that's not right man.

**** legit brings down my self esteem.

Trying to keep my spirits up, but it's hard. I have no choice but to ride it out until I get married and have a place of my own.

I know you love your parents and you're a good daughter, but your biggest mistake is living for and up to your parent's expectations. It's going to effect your life long after they're gone. I understand part of it is cultural, but some things he's doing is just ridiculous 

.

 

[23kidd]

I'm gonna go ahead and join the whole "my dad sucks" gang lol

Hes supportive by make sure the family is well fed and is under a roof however he was never a "dad" to me, none of that emotional sutff.
However As I grow up I start to realize its all culture and how they were raised. You cant change a person, you just gotta deal with who and how they are is what I learned when I went to my depression therapist.

Now that I got a daughter of my own I'm def gona make sure I don't make the mistakes he did with me

 

[ogmcmxcii]

I am envious of people who actually have good relationships with their dads.

90% of our interactions is him yelling at me. He always complains to my family that I never talk to him.... Thing is, whenever I try, it always turns to him yelling and cussing at me.
He never listens to me.

I feel like I wasn't able to grow and find my niche because he never let me do anything if it's not related to my studies. I feel like I'm so far behind in life when it comes to experiences. That makes me sad.

I feel like I do nothing right in his eyes. I know I'm not a bad kid. It's like, the only way I can satisfy him is to be a Harvard-educated doctor, education-wise.

I just want to make him proud. Even studying in front of his face, showing him my papers and exam scores won't suffice.

It makes me sad that my aunts and uncles and my significant other are ten billion times more supportive and understanding than he is.

Like, that's not right man. **** legit brings down my self esteem.

Trying to keep my spirits up, but it's hard. I have no choice but to ride it out until I get married and have a place of my own.

E-Hug, Shoyru, E-Hug

Everything you have stated has been my whole life at 24 and that bolded part to a T.


My Dad claim he loves us but he devalued us as a family

Devalued & disowned me as a son

In my moms African culture disownment means you really ****** up to the point where they wash their hands clean of you and you're an outcast like the ugly duckling.

I'm the black sheep of the family

He beat me as a child, slapped me, punched me so hard in the stomach one night (I threw up) because i couldn't figure out my math homework (reasons why I hate math >

He picked me up in my desk chair (in another wrath of frustration) and tossed me into a wall. The whiplash from the back of my neck hitting the wall put me in a neck brace for awhile.

Christmas Day in 2011 was the worst ever and final breaking point for everyone

We had a family meeting and dad brought the emotions out in everyone we all cried

I cold cocked punched my dad in the face because he insulted my moms deceased dad and drove her to screaming, sobbing and flipping things over.


People say that mess was years ago but don't understand that my memory is stupid sharp I remember my first grade graduation and so many things.

If you remember this episode of Fresh Price what Will is portraying is me

 

[ogmcmxcii]

If you're serious about the Navy and need some inspiration, Please dawg ....check out this book written about one of the most respected guys in one of the most respected unit's within the Special Operations Community. 

Rundown:

Adam Brown
-Meth head
-Coke head
-Homeless
-Got sober
-Became A Navy Seal
-Got his dominant shooting hand crushed and instead of leaving the Navy he learned how to shoot just as well with his left.
-Lost his right eye in battle
-Made it through the selection process for DEVGRU aka Seal Team 6 with one *ucking eye 
-Had surgery on both ankles and arthritis and still deployed with Seal Team 6


This isn't an autobiography because well this man died in combat, and chances are he would have never written one anyways. But everyone who knew his story knew how insane it was and had to get together and write it in his honor. This ish got me through some of the hardest times in my life. Give it a read and I promise you this man's will power will give you that push you need. Here's the link to it

Thanks bro [emoji]128076[/emoji][emoji]127997[/emoji]. It's been years since I touched a book so I guess it's time to pick up reading again

 

[al audi]

Thanks bro [emoji]128076[/emoji][emoji]127997[/emoji]. It's been years since I touched a book so I guess it's time to pick up reading again

Youre not a alone, a lot of ppl don't read.

i should have Phil Knight book coming in the mail......like today I hope.

 

[art vandelay]

Youre not a alone, a lot of ppl don't read.

i should have Phil Knight book coming in the mail......like today I hope.

Last book I read was about Pimp C. No ones judging, even though it was a good *** read.

 

[wavy daddy]

That pimp c book good?

 

[art vandelay]

That pimp c book good?

Hell. Yes.