Did I Date a Psycho?

[much respected]

Spark notes:
- Met a girl at work, she had a boyfriend that treated her like crap and 11 other boyfriends that all cheated on her.
- Dated for a few months and she would check my myspace, facebook messages, wall-to-walls, chat logs w/ a girl I dated before, text messages, and call logs andwould get mad If I got mad at her about it
- She told me @ least 5 times a week that some new guy was after her or hitting on her at work, etc. so I thought I had a holy grail. She hyped herself up andI fell for it.
- Meets a manager at a club I work @ and thinks hes attractive (young, successful, dressed sharply, financially stable)
- We get into an argument quickly after she finds him attractive and she says that she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore and that she is over me.
- She spends time over my place using my laptop on my bed to talk to the guy via myspace and her friends about him and deletes the chat logs (I found them inthe trash bin of my macbook)
- She is now talking to him and updates me constantly on their status.

I just want to know:
a.) Is she wrong for doing what she did?
b.) Is this girl a b---h?
c.) Is this girl very insecure?


Long Version
So I met this girl that I work (I DJ @ a nightclub and shes a waitress there) w/ but at the time she had a boyfriend of 3 years. Her boyfriend treated herlike crap and did every horrible thing a boyfriend could do except for physical abuse to her for 3 years (ie: telling her about hot girls to her face, nottaking her out on dates, not getting her anything for anniversaries, emotionally abusing her).

I wasn't really after her cuz she had a boyfriend but then she came out and said she liked me and I said ditto. Girl ended up breaking up w/ her boyfriendbecause she realized she couldn't take that crap anymore and started dating me for about 2 months. During this time she would check my facebook messages,wall-to-walls, chat logs w/ a girl I dated right before her, text messages, call logs.

I wasn't too into the girl at first but she was pretty cute and she always told me 5 days out of 7 about some guy hitting on her or trying to get w/ herand about guys at work who tried to get at her. So I was feelin' like damn, I got a treasure here. She was hyping herself up and I fell into it.

Anyway fast forward after the 2 months we would just get into arguments about little things because shes always had bad relationships (11 boyfriends that allcheated on her and the previous one that treated her like crap) and she wanted someone perfect and I'm not nearly as experienced as she was so I was makingmistakes and she was getting fed up so she was thinking that we couldn't be in a relationship, but we still dated.

Then one day she goes into meet w/ a manager for this new club that our promotion company was doing and I was gonna DJ and she was gonna be a waitress and thisdude is a 28 year old, young manager, dressed sharply, and was probably financially stable. She tells me that night that she was attracted to dude and at thatmoment she realized a.) she couldn't be w/ me because I wasn't what she was lookin' for and b.) she couldn't be in a relationship because shewas looking at other dudes. So I was alright, cool, I understand.

Then a few days later, we get into one final argument because I talked to my ex about the girl problem and shes furious even tho me and my ex are not nearlyinterested/attracted to each other anymore so she says that she's over me and doesn't see me the same way anymore.

Fast forward a few days and shes at my place after work and shes drunk and I'm drunk and I'm just taking care of her letting her sleep at my place. Next morning I go about my day and shes still in my bed until 4pm. I get us food and come back and leave it for her and I'm chillin' outsidewatchin' the Patriots game. She stays in my bed the entire time and is talking to the dude via MySpace and talking to her friends about him on AIM on mylaptop the entire night. She leaves and I check the trash bin on my computer and I see that theres deleted chat logs. Being the bigger person, I didn'tread it but confronted her about it and she says that she only did it to protect my feelings.

Now her and the dude are talking. And she constantly updates me on their status.

I just want to know:
a.) Is she wrong for doing what she did?
b.) Is this girl a b---h?
c.) Is this girl very insecure?

 

[kdwallace]

Hello, what?

 

[badboyf0life420]

Registered Member Posts: 9251 01/16/08 1:11 PM ........ u know better than that

 

[kingtre]

from experience stay away from relationships with females in the club scene (waitresses, shot girls, dancers) they are fun for awhile...you get envy and propsbut they always end up bad

i just remembered who you are from us speaking b4 and realized i prob know everybody in this story

edit: nvm i dont think your the same person

 

[parallel plane]

1. You should never date a coworker.
2. Stop letting this chick sleep over, talk to you, be a part of your life, etc.
3. She wants attention. Stop giving it to her and she'll fade away eventually.

 

[prurientsole]

Never, EVER, believe someone if they tell you that their previous relationships all ended because of the other person.

 

[much respected]

from experience stay away from relationships with females in the club scene (waitresses, shot girls, dancers) they are fun for awhile...you get envy and props but they always end up bad
No doubt, I dated a go-go dancer before this.. ended bad too.. lol..

1. You should never date a coworker.

I always hear this, but never really listened to that advice. I'll take it from now on.

2. Stop letting this chick sleep over, talk to you, be a part of your life, etc.
I don't but she still be IMing me and I see her @ work every week.

3. She wants attention. Stop giving it to her and she'll fade away eventually.
Thats what I'm thinking but I don't want to act like I'm not her friend. I want to be the bigger person. Or is it ok to just start ignoring her?

 

[tha murdera 2001]

the answers to A B and C are all yes...

 

[ohyeah10]

post pics please. thank you

 

[kingtre]

and the answer to your questions is keep smashing but stop caring...you see her all the time, shes not too stable etc so shes prob good for some drunkenencounters but forget the relationship aspect

 

[presequel]

why she still at your place after you breakup?

why you still bringing food to a girl that brokeup with you?

why you whipped?

 

[mytmouse76]

you typed all that and still need an answer? you answered you're own question while typing...she's a strange one and you might want to just cut heroff...

 

[joe mcknight is ballin]

dude you know the drill. someone post the gif on how to make a thread on nt.

 

[much respected]

why she still at your place after you breakup?
Because we were both drunk and ended up here together.

why you still bringing food to a girl that brokeup with you?
Cuz we were supposed to be friends still and I didn't want to seem like the ahole.

why you whipped?
I'll admit to that, I was way beyond sprung.

 

[parallel plane]

Originally Posted by Kingtre

and the answer to your questions is keep smashing but stop caring...you see her all the time, shes not too stable etc so shes prob good for some drunken encounters but forget the relationship aspect

Bad advice. Women tie too many things to sex for you to be able to just smash and have no repercussions. Don't ignore her, but definitely don'tencourage her daily updates on her life. Just act disinterested when she brings anything you don't care about up. As for being her friend, don't be afool. Leave this chick alone or you'll end up regretting it.

Sidenote: I seriously need a break from women (no ayo). There's always some drama tied to them. I'm just disgusted right now, so maybe I'm being abit pessimistic. I've spent the last 16 years of my life (I'm 29) chasing these broads and I'm just ready to focus more on myself.

 

[newkidtadagame]

Ummmm....you were being walked on during that last part. Ill be damned if some girl I'm not with is at my house on my computer talking to someone else. Sheknew you were sprung and played you. She will continue to play you if you don't cut her off...sounds like a part of you still wants her back though..

 

[wallyhopp]

sounds like the 11 other guys who cheated were right.

 

[much respected]

Ummmm....you were being walked on during that last part. Ill be damned if some girl I'm not with is at my house on my computer talking to someone else. She knew you were sprung and played you. She will continue to play you if you don't cut her off...sounds like a part of you still wants her back though..
She definitely played me, and I realized that now. I'm also just concerned about how to handle the situation w/ seeing her everyday and herwanting to be best friends. I don't want to come out as the ahole. I am over being with her.. being over her.. I dunno, its only been less than a week.

sounds like the 11 other guys who cheated were right.
SHE told me that they came back later and told her that they cheated on her because she was too intense of a girlfriend and too serious of agirlfriend and that scared them, but now they realized that they lost a good thing. I don't think she ever lied to me because she would get so furious ifshe caught me in any type of lie. I think she screwed w/ me w/o having to lie though.

 

[nyzmagician]

yup shes crazy

 

[ofluo]

Originally Posted by Tha Murdera 2001

the answers to A B and C are all yes...

And it sounds to me like...she used you as a rebound when she broke up with her boyfriend, and she liked the attention she got from you so she kept youaround, then when she met the other dude, she was like "I'm out, I'm bout to go mess with that dude instead"....but she likes attention shegets from you so she keeps you on the side and strings you along.
you need to cut her off...she's the one coming at you tryin to be best friends not becuase she actually wants to be friends, but because she justlikes the attention....you're worried about lookin like a jerk by leaving, but by staying you're lookin like a chump, she probably knows you're toonice too leave and cut her off so she's using that to her advantage.

 

[fvargas2000]

Yes. But my question to you is, why do you let her go to your crib and let her use your computer to talk to some dude?

 

[Pmighty]

you let this young lady over your spot after she deliberately played/disrespected you. its official you

 

[israel5ekla]

a.) Is she wrong for doing what she did?
b.) Is this girl a b---h?
c.) Is this girl very insecure?

D) all of the above

Do yourself a favor and get away from that dumb broad.

 

[zen baller]

Tell her you can't be best friends, and then treat her like any other co-worker from that point on. If she asks why, make up some bs about you care abouther too much to be best friends (i.e. spending a lot of time with her).

Forget whether or not she's insecure, she's making one set of rules for you and a different set for herself. She can talk to you about talking to thisyoung manager dude but you can't talk to your ex about girl problems? Sounds like you just need to put your foot down. We all put up with a LITTLE bit ofBS from girls that are WORTH it, but she clearly isn't.

 

[much respected]

Yes. But my question to you is, why do you let her go to your crib and let her use your computer to talk to some dude?
Well I didn't let her over. We both came to my place after work one day cuz we were both drunk and hungry. She never left and used mycomputer. I had no idea she was flirtin' with dude.

If she asks why, make up some bs about you care about her too much to be best friends (i.e. spending a lot of time with her).
You're saying that I should say that I care about her too much to only be friends? So I can't do anything at all?

ONE more thing.. shes been asking if I'm ok and if I'm over her. What should I say to that? I feel like if I play it like I am over her thenshe'll take steps to try to prove me wrong.