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Hi Niketalk, I saw this list earlier and thought you'd enjoy! I added one at the bottom (I think it's the best one... that wasn't even on theirlist) by my favorite actor... well just check it out! If any of the videos don't work... check them out here!
[h2]Eight Classic Cinematic Verbal Beatdowns[/h2]
There's a time for fisticuffs, I'll give you that - but still, there's nothing quite as satisfying as dashing someone's hopes and dreams withthe power of your words alone. We salute eight of the best cinematic verbal beatdowns (in no particular order) not just because of how entertaining they are to watch, but because they give us the courage to one day reduce our enemies to shriveled, weeping shells of men solelywith the use of our voice.
Mitch Speaks - Waiting
Whammy Burger - Falling Down
"This is such a crock of %##%!" - Scent of a Woman�
ABC - Glengarry Glen Ross
How do you like them apples - Good Will Hunting
Vince Vaughn hates dating - Wedding Crashers
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Jon Favreau beats himself down via answering machine - Swingers
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Anything Gunnery Sgt. Hartman says at any point in the entire movie - Full MetalJacket
Bruce Uppercut's Favorite Verbal Beatdown!!
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[h2]Eight Classic Cinematic Verbal Beatdowns[/h2]
There's a time for fisticuffs, I'll give you that - but still, there's nothing quite as satisfying as dashing someone's hopes and dreams withthe power of your words alone. We salute eight of the best cinematic verbal beatdowns (in no particular order) not just because of how entertaining they are to watch, but because they give us the courage to one day reduce our enemies to shriveled, weeping shells of men solelywith the use of our voice.
Mitch Speaks - Waiting
I haven't actually seen Waiting in its entirety, but I have to respect a character who insults Justin Long, Ryan Reynolds, and Dane Cook in the same breath right before giving them "the goat". The only bad thing about this verbal beatdown is that hedoesn't end the whole thing by murdering Dane Cook. For real.Whammy Burger - Falling Down
Calling this scene a "verbal beatdown" may admittedly be sort of a cheat -- the Whammy Burger employees don't startlistening to D-FENS until he pulls out a gun -- but the honest sick-and-tiredness of Michael Douglas's fast food rant still makes this monologue awfullydamn memorable. Even more hilarious than D-FENS's complaints ("I feel comfortable calling you Rick now, after all we've been through") is thefact that, after two minutes of ranting and gunfire, the Whammy breakfast the manager fought so hard to keep from D-FENS was literally two feet away, sittinginnocuously in a warming tray."This is such a crock of %##%!" - Scent of a Woman�
Al Pacino is most certainly a man� known for his verbal beatdowns: whether we're talking� Scarface, Heat, or TheDevil's Advocate, the man knows how to destroy people with the force (and volume) of his words. That said, this final beatdown from Scent of aWoman may very well be his best. Not only does he reduce Philip Seymour Hoffman into a quivering ball of moist fat (not a particularly difficult thing todo at that point in his career, granted), but he manages to make Chris O'Donnell actually look respectable. That, and the fact that he curses about twodozen times, brings the entire room to its feet, and threatens to take a flamethrower to an institute of higher learning (things you can only get away with ifyou are, in fact, Al Pacino). There's also some inspirational stuff about leadership and dignity, but hell with that; this beatdown is all about F-wordsand flamethrowers, baby.ABC - Glengarry Glen Ross
Alec Baldwin sure knows how to play an #$%#+%$. He may spend his weekdays as the charmingly insane Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock,but there was a time when the guy was spewing out Mamet like he was raised on it. As if we didn't feel sorry enough for the aging, lonely estate agents inGlengarry Glen Ross, Alec Baldwin comes in and proceeds to spend the next three minutes%@$!#$*@% on every single character in the room. Withmotivational pearls of wisdom like "good father? +*** you -- go home and play with your kids," Blake depresses and disheartens the estate agents tothe point where they spend the rest of the film cheating and stealing to save their own!$%%%!. This is a beatdown which actually inspires illegal conduct --it's that hardcore.How do you like them apples - Good Will Hunting
I have absolutely no idea what Matt Damon is talking about in this scene, but I know it's awesome. When Minnie Driver gets approached by the single douchebaggiest human being on the planet and begins mocking Ben Affleck (which, oddlyenough, would score him some points today), Matt Damon's Will Hunting decides to spout off the views of roughly eighteen different Revolutionary War historians, thus silencing +%+%+!+%+ Mc****head andgetting Minnie Driver's number in the process. Every person who has ever taken a college course with a guy like #$%#+%$ Mc****forbrains (andeveryone has taken a class with a guy like him) has probably replayed this scene over and over and over, praying for the opportunity to tweak and useit in everyday conversation. The entire scene is basically the most brutal case of intellectual anal rape ever caught on film.Vince Vaughn hates dating - Wedding Crashers
Scroll to 4:13 and you'll get there. When Vince Vaughn's (I'm not going to bother writing down the character's name -- it's Vince Vaughn playing Vince Vaughn) secretaryoffers to set him up with a female co-worker, he gets understandably irritated and offers one of the best anti-dating monologues ever spoken aloud in thehistory of the English language, ever. Once he's done, his secretary doesn't even seem all that upset -- the true victim of the beatdown isthe concept of dating itself. Vince Vaughn's argument is so airtight, so incredibly honest, that it makes you wonder why we bother dating in thefirst place. Granted, the film turns into a#%%$%%@#$ "monogamous, socially acceptable relationships are awesome, promiscuity isn't" moralitytale, but the first act , this beatdown especially, are the stuff of male legend.�
Jon Favreau beats himself down via answering machine - Swingers
This is the most painful� three minutes and forty seconds in film history. I literally cannot write about it without wanting to killmyself, so we'll move right on to:�
Anything Gunnery Sgt. Hartman says at any point in the entire movie - Full MetalJacket
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman's opening affects the audience in three distinct, unique emotional stages. First, it's really weird: why is heshouting so loud and being so mean? Secondly, it's really funny: hey, he just called that guy a *$%%#. Thirdly, it's really !@#*%%$ scary. Despite thefact that Hartman gets killed halfway through the film (+*** you, I'm not putting "spoiler" tags around a 20 year old movie), Hartman's linesare almost always the things primarily quoted or mentioned whenever anybody talks about Full Metal Jacket.Bruce Uppercut's Favorite Verbal Beatdown!!
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