For My NT Brothers In A Relationship: Do You Keep Quiet When Things Bother You Fearing That You Will

DCAllAfrican

DCAllAfrican

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appear weak/insecure if you do speak up?

I know I have in the past and I know friends do as well. If something bothers you, instead of communicating it to your woman, you keep it within. Why? Because you don't want to appear to be insecure/weak.

Anyone else a guilty of this?

If you don't like the thread, get out. I ain't forcing you to come to this university.
 
I do, but not because i dont want to appear weak/insecure. I dont communicate with my girl cause I dont want it to spiral into a 4 hour discussion/argument/whatever that is going to cut into my Modern Warfare 2 time.

I've gotten better about it cause my girl understands that I hate wasting time on ridiculous long winded discussions like that, so she lets me say my piece and doesn't push back too hard. I think it definitely helped that we got to discuss this in an open forum with a therapist when we did our pre-marital counseling.
 
it's not healthy to keep it in. talk to her about your problems, then punch her in the face to reassert your manliness.
 
[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]Communication is essential. Learned that the hard way, If something is on your mind, let it out. 
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i did it, too long.. but in the end you end up blowing up.  It makes you wonder and messes with you in the long run.  Communication is VERY key to a healthy relationship..  If you fear your other half and her reaction you should reconsider being with her.  It only leads to problems bro, just tell her straight up what you feel..maybe she has things that bother her also, but doesnt want to let you know.  You can learn from her as well as with her. 

-UNDFT-
 
Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

I do, but not because i dont want to appear weak/insecure. I dont communicate with my girl cause I dont want it to spiral into a 4 hour discussion/argument/whatever that is going to cut into my Modern Warfare 2 time.

I've gotten better about it cause my girl understands that I hate wasting time on ridiculous long winded discussions like that, so she lets me say my piece and doesn't push back too hard. I think it definitely helped that we got to discuss this in an open forum with a therapist when we did our pre-marital counseling.
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I'm the same way. I'm already annoyed. 
I don't want to go on and on talking about it or having her ask about my feelings. WHAT THE FLIP!!!
But if the same incident happens a second time then I will bring it up. I say what I have to say and keep it moving.
 
Its not about how it makes you appear its about not wanting to deal with the bs that comes with talking about it and the arguing. Especially if you two argue all of the time you just get to a point where you dont even want to deal with it.
 
Great thread DC. I've been guilty of biting my tongue when things bother me because I didn't want a simple communication session wind up transforming into a Royal Rumble. It's better just to say what's on your mind and/or heart. After learning the lessons from holding feelings/thoughts/ emotions inward, I, now, hold nothing back when it comes to speaking my mind.
 
Nah man.. I realize I'm a lil too expressive. I tell women when they piss me off, knowing that they ain't gonna change anyway... so it's really just up to me to move on or deal with it. All that communication just makes it harder IMO
 
small, insignificant !%!* I brush off....the major stuff, I get that off my chest. You aren't doing yourself any favors by keeping !%!* bottled up. If anything, you're setting yourself up for a big explosion. Relationships are doomed if there is no communication.
 
Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

I do, but not because i dont want to appear weak/insecure. I dont communicate with my girl cause I dont want it to spiral into a 4 hour discussion/argument/whatever that is going to cut into my Modern Warfare 2 time.

I've gotten better about it cause my girl understands that I hate wasting time on ridiculous long winded discussions like that, so she lets me say my piece and doesn't push back too hard. I think it definitely helped that we got to discuss this in an open forum with a therapist when we did our pre-marital counseling.
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seriously. I'll talk to you before or after, but not during.
Unless you want to hear me scream about how I just ripped four dudes a new one with a Predator Missile.
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I like confrontation, it brings out the real you and me, and it gives me a perspective on if I'm wrong or right, when I think it over alone.
 
Speaking from experience, you shouldn't try to bottle in your fears or insecurities. I used to do that and I lost my woman that way. I kept pushing her away without even knowing it. She started feeling like I didn't love her and didn't care for her, because I would never tell her how I feel or what I was thinking.

Recently I started to telling her how I feel now and I don't bottle much in anymore. We communicate a lot more now and I'm glad.

Our relationship is the best that it's ever been.
 
i always speak my mind with my girl, sometimes too much. now i'm in the process of learning to keep my mouth shut sometimes. It's best to get it out of ur system fam, if it's bothering you constantly, then it's a problem.
 
whenever my girl says something that makes me feel some way, i let her know.

it usually turns into her nagging, then i walk away and ignore her until she hits me up.

gotta let that %%!%+ breathe.
 
Originally Posted by DoubleJs07

small, insignificant
00c1546ccc6a51f106557394a993f719ebe2d60.gif
I brush off....the major stuff, I get that off my chest. You aren't doing yourself any favors by keeping
00c1546ccc6a51f106557394a993f719ebe2d60.gif
bottled up. If anything, you're setting yourself up for a big explosion. Relationships are doomed if there is no communication.
Click to expand...

I agree
 
I discuss the major things with my girl but when it comes to minor stuff, just let it roll off like water...you have to pick your battles. Biting your tongue is a !%&*!
 
Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

I do, but not because i dont want to appear weak/insecure. I dont communicate with my girl cause I dont want it to spiral into a 4 hour discussion/argument/whatever that is going to cut into my Modern Warfare 2 time.

I've gotten better about it cause my girl understands that I hate wasting time on ridiculous long winded discussions like that, so she lets me say my piece and doesn't push back too hard. I think it definitely helped that we got to discuss this in an open forum with a therapist when we did our pre-marital counseling.
Click to expand...
True...
 
I would never tell a woman what I truly feel. Ya'll simps out here pouring your souls out, while she gets smutted out by the milkman.
 
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