- 2,557
- 701
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2008
quick answer: i know i'm not.
sup nt, this is my first time ever making a topic in the general thread about anything. i usually don't put my biz out in public but i just wanted some outside opinions. and i understand if there are posts that say tl;dr lol i'm the same way.
about 2 months ago, my friend of nearly 10 years tells me her father's been diagnosed with very stage of terminal cancer. her father is the only parent she has left and i couldn't even imagine how that must've felt because i'm fortunate enough to still have both of mine. at the time her father was still in the hospital and was waiting to be cleared to go home. i checked up on her from time to time via internet since we rarely see each other but still keep in touch every now and then. when her father was cleared to come back home maybe a week later, we kinda lost contact with one another. i had started a new job, was busy on weekends with team practices, and getting myself ready for a week-long trip outside the country with my team. being in a different country altogether, i left my phone at home since roaming charges would've killed me, and i had very limited access to the internet; i was disconnected from the world. it was only on the very last day that i checked my email on my itouch in the morning and got an email from my friend saying her father had passed away.
after an entire week of team bonding and having the time of my life i read those words and everything just turned black and white. i just got the breakfast i ordered and all i could do was put my head in my heads and fight the tears because i didn't want to make a scene in the restaurant. i managed to look at the words again and realized there was more to the email than that. he had passed away 3 weeks prior to the email and there was already a service for him. i was only one of a few friends she had told about her father. my friend added that she was very angry and disappointed in my complete lack of effort in checking in on her and that she's rethinking how good of friends we really are. she was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt but she says she's past that now.
i was messed up the entire day feeling like crap and knowing that i was pretty much bringing everyone else down didn't make me feel any better. i shot her back an email apologizing to her, explaining myself and my situation, and that i wanted to see her to talk to her. after moping around for a few hours, my team managed to pick me back up but the day was already spent. in retrospect, i'm upset at the fact that we could've done just a little bit more on the trip but how we left on that last day left a bad taste in my mouth that i can never get out.
here's my reason for my "lack of effort": besides how busy my life became during the entire last month, i didn't have the heart nor make the time to say something to a friend whose parent only had a short time to live. if either one of my parents only had weeks to live, i would not want to be thinking about counting down the days until. i don't want to be reminded about when my mother or father is going to die, i just want to focus on them living in present. but that's just me.
a week has passed and i'm going to try and meet up with her today. i don't want to end our friendship or her to end it or something stupid like that. but i feel like i wasn't wrong in any of this. okay, maybe i could've been a bit more supportive but she has a phone and a computer too. she could've contacted me if she needed someone to talk to. if i was one of a few friends she told about her father, why did she wait 3 weeks after his passing to tell me he passed away? really? and she's rethinking our friendship? shouldn't i be the one who's angry and disappointed at her for leaving me out of loop with news as big as this? but i'm going to hold my tongue on all of that because we're still friends and i don't want to put another thing on her mind she doesn't have to deal with right now.
if you made it this far, thanks for reading, i appreciate it. so what do you think? and am i wrong?
sup nt, this is my first time ever making a topic in the general thread about anything. i usually don't put my biz out in public but i just wanted some outside opinions. and i understand if there are posts that say tl;dr lol i'm the same way.
about 2 months ago, my friend of nearly 10 years tells me her father's been diagnosed with very stage of terminal cancer. her father is the only parent she has left and i couldn't even imagine how that must've felt because i'm fortunate enough to still have both of mine. at the time her father was still in the hospital and was waiting to be cleared to go home. i checked up on her from time to time via internet since we rarely see each other but still keep in touch every now and then. when her father was cleared to come back home maybe a week later, we kinda lost contact with one another. i had started a new job, was busy on weekends with team practices, and getting myself ready for a week-long trip outside the country with my team. being in a different country altogether, i left my phone at home since roaming charges would've killed me, and i had very limited access to the internet; i was disconnected from the world. it was only on the very last day that i checked my email on my itouch in the morning and got an email from my friend saying her father had passed away.
after an entire week of team bonding and having the time of my life i read those words and everything just turned black and white. i just got the breakfast i ordered and all i could do was put my head in my heads and fight the tears because i didn't want to make a scene in the restaurant. i managed to look at the words again and realized there was more to the email than that. he had passed away 3 weeks prior to the email and there was already a service for him. i was only one of a few friends she had told about her father. my friend added that she was very angry and disappointed in my complete lack of effort in checking in on her and that she's rethinking how good of friends we really are. she was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt but she says she's past that now.
i was messed up the entire day feeling like crap and knowing that i was pretty much bringing everyone else down didn't make me feel any better. i shot her back an email apologizing to her, explaining myself and my situation, and that i wanted to see her to talk to her. after moping around for a few hours, my team managed to pick me back up but the day was already spent. in retrospect, i'm upset at the fact that we could've done just a little bit more on the trip but how we left on that last day left a bad taste in my mouth that i can never get out.
here's my reason for my "lack of effort": besides how busy my life became during the entire last month, i didn't have the heart nor make the time to say something to a friend whose parent only had a short time to live. if either one of my parents only had weeks to live, i would not want to be thinking about counting down the days until. i don't want to be reminded about when my mother or father is going to die, i just want to focus on them living in present. but that's just me.
a week has passed and i'm going to try and meet up with her today. i don't want to end our friendship or her to end it or something stupid like that. but i feel like i wasn't wrong in any of this. okay, maybe i could've been a bit more supportive but she has a phone and a computer too. she could've contacted me if she needed someone to talk to. if i was one of a few friends she told about her father, why did she wait 3 weeks after his passing to tell me he passed away? really? and she's rethinking our friendship? shouldn't i be the one who's angry and disappointed at her for leaving me out of loop with news as big as this? but i'm going to hold my tongue on all of that because we're still friends and i don't want to put another thing on her mind she doesn't have to deal with right now.
if you made it this far, thanks for reading, i appreciate it. so what do you think? and am i wrong?
