im a terrible human being but i need your help. (another dumb girl thread)

[on campus]

Before we get started, let me just say i already know. smh


Aiight from the top. Fellas im trippin. Im stuck right now between what i know is right, what i know is wrong and what my selfish self wants.

Ive been in a relationship with my chick for a while now, a little over 6 years. We stay together and have a child. Its been bumpy for a couple years now at times we probably both would have split if we didnt have a child we want to raise together. Sometimes things are good and she is probably my closest friend despite everything.

Here is where things get complicated. A little over a year ago during a time where we had said some really hurtful things to one another i met this little bad one and she was throwing it at me and i caved in. Went to work on her tough and what was supposed to be just a once or twice side thing turned into something a lot more regular. Side chick always knew she was a side chick and for a while it was no issue other then my own guilt.

Shorty started catching feelings eventually and i tried to curb her, only to find myself texting her when i was drunk anyways. Long story short the feelings ended up being mutual. I couldnt shake her, or i didnt want to shake her.

All the things i didnt like about my chick, this chick seemed to excel at. My chick is lazy, and she thinks just cuz she is attractive that life is sweet, and still thinks she is a princess. Side chick is a go getter, pays for **** has two good paying jobs.

The problem im really stuck on is that i think i want to be with the sidechick now. I feel like my original relationship i have sabotaged and i feel like a pos thinking about how hurt my chick would be if she knew.

I justify it to myself because i told her that if she didnt change i was gonna end up doing this but thats just a cop out.

What would you do? Sometimes i think i should just change my number and force the end with the side girl but i never can bring myself to do it cuz i legit caught feelings.

No part of my rational self thinks i should leave my family for the sidechick but my heart is pulling me that way.

 

[SHERLOCK87]

If you're not married then take the side piece chicken dinner.

Seems like ya BM too comfortable, probably won't change either.

 

[fresh out dabox]

pero! cut it off plain and simple

 

[John00]

OP you had NO business trying to be on some playa **** if you couldn't control your emotions in the first place. 

 Anytime you enter a war the most important part of planning is the exit strategy, think about it. 

Now for my advice: 

I think you need to weigh the options you have. Your BM is pretty but lazy. How much longer do you honestly think it will last? The sheer fact that you went outside the relationship for something else should tell you that something is missing. If you stay with her prepare to be drug down with a woman that will do NOTHING for herself.

The new chick sounds like a girl that you could end up building with. You never mention her body structure though OP. Is she ugly?

WE NEED PICS! 

 

[SneakerProSr.]

It's cheaper to keep her, she gone rape on the child support if you break up and if you get it caught so keep the side piece.

 

[retro23j]

One of my friends had this issue last month. The side chick excelled where his main girl didn't so he instigated a breakup and got with the new chick.

Two weeks later at 9am this dude is texting me while with her talking about he made a mistake because now he see's her flaws and wants her gone.

Bruh, dead the side chick. She doesn't want to be your main. That comes with a responsibility that she doesn't even have respect for between you and your current.

Guarantee....how you leave your girl is exactly how this bird is going to leave you, then you'll have nothing.

 

[Humbled]

One question:

Is that side chick worth 18 years of child support?

You're welcome.

 

[solexsup]

Cant trust a side chick.

 

[Chiron]

You can:
1) ditch the main chick on some " Daddy went for milk 15 years ago and never came back" type stuff.. and live happily ever after and get paid to be on a tv show about children looking for there parents in 10 years.

2) Ditch the main chick... plant drugs on her and call 555-we-tip. Get custody of your kid and run off into the sunset with your new chick that eventually has a kid that she treats way better than yours. 

3) Tell the main chick your leaving. deal with that big *** argument... be low key for awhile...  3 months down the road she sees you got the new chick. Deal with the high sodium levels and the I don't want my son / daughter around that new woman. (and let it be because the new chick doesn't wanna deal with the drama)

4) Go on Maury or dr. phil and let them sort it out how they see fit

5) Get some real marriage counseling so that you can use the one on one parts of the session to confess your guilt confidentially, then bury it deep down inside and never bring it up again on that talledega nights Cal Naughton type stuff.

6) Let the side chick go, wonder what couldve been, but eventually let it go and deal with what you got to raise your kid.

FINALLY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU COME CLEAN ABOUT EVERYTHING TO HER. IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO THAT JUST CHOOSE OPTION 1.

Edit: and yeah always be ready to deal with the fact that side chick might not work out and you threw away 6 years and pay child support now.

 

[Teknoman]

Difficult situation. If you don't mind some next dude raising your kid then go for it.

 

[93tilinfinity]

idk why i thought this was a nomad thread when i first saw the title. 

Spoiler: Warning%3A%20Spoiler!

don't go for the side chick. how are you gonna trust a girl like that in the long run knowing how apathetic she is to your situation, having a family back home?

work on your relationship, counselling even, if it's really that bad. keeping a side chick is not a good move, and those relationships almost never end well.

best of luck to you and your family.

 

[on campus]

Thanks for the replies.

Real quick, sidechick is bad. She is younger tho and loves the attention. She works in a dr. office for her 9-5 and gets money at night to go go or really just show up at clubs.

She is kinda too tall for me, with heels on we are the same height and thats kinda bothersome.

Its like all the signs are there i know i should dead it but its like the ***** has me in a trance.

 

[meek meals]

Edit: and yeah always be ready to deal with the fact that side chick might not work out and you threw away 6 years and pay child support now.

 

[meek meals]

Thanks for the replies.

Real quick, sidechick is bad. She is younger tho and loves the attention. She works in a dr. office for her 9-5 and gets money at night to go go or really just show up at clubs.

She is kinda too tall for me, with heels on we are the same height and thats kinda bothersome.

Its like all the signs are there i know i should dead it but its like the ***** has me in a trance.

its cheaper to keep doing what you doing

and your side chick is a 'model'?

 

[on campus]

Difficult situation. If you don't mind some next dude raising your kid then go for it.

Completely and whole heartedly care. Im too selfish, its the classic case of having your cake and wanting to eat it too.

 

[Teknoman]

Thanks for the replies.

Real quick, sidechick is bad. She is younger tho and loves the attention. She works in a dr. office for her 9-5 and gets money at night to go go or really just show up at clubs.

She is kinda too tall for me, with heels on we are the same height and thats kinda bothersome.

Its like all the signs are there i know i should dead it but its like the ***** has me in a trance.

Leave her alone. You 80-20 rule in effect.

 

[on campus]

its cheaper to keep doing what you doing​

Nah she isnt a model. Unless we calling go gos models now

and your side chick is a 'model'?​

 

[Cryptomoon]

Don't get salty when another dude starts ramming your baby momma

 

[casperjr]

Don't get salty when another dude starts ramming your baby momma

You would be a fool to think it isn't already happening

 

[DrizzyNYC]

J

You can:

1) ditch the main chick on some " Daddy went for milk 15 years ago and never came back" type stuff.. and live happily ever after and get paid to be on a tv show about children looking for there parents in 10 years.


2) Ditch the main chick... plant drugs on her and call 555-we-tip. Get custody of your kid and run off into the sunset with your new chick that eventually has a kid that she treats way better than yours. 


3) Tell the main chick your leaving. deal with that big *** argument... be low key for awhile...  3 months down the road she sees you got the new chick. Deal with the high sodium levels and the I don't want my son / daughter around that new woman. (and let it be because the new chick doesn't wanna deal with the drama)


4) Go on Maury or dr. phil and let them sort it out how they see fit


5) Get some real marriage counseling so that you can use the one on one parts of the session to confess your guilt confidentially, then bury it deep down inside and never bring it up again on that talledega nights Cal Naughton type stuff.


6) Let the side chick go, wonder what couldve been, but eventually let it go and deal with what you got to raise your kid.

FINALLY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU COME CLEAN ABOUT EVERYTHING TO HER. IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO THAT JUST CHOOSE OPTION 1.


Edit: and yeah always be ready to deal with the fact that side chick might not work out and you threw away 6 years and pay child support now.

This man knows. What ever you do, don't tell the truth, no matter how much she wants to know....

 

[frankmatthews]

She gets paid to dance at clubs? Brah, you can't seriously be considering doing what you are talking about.

I don't know what all this chick said to you but I can guarantee you the only reason she is talking about being with you is because she can't have you. She feels cheapened by the fact you have feelings for her but still make her play the side role. Become completely available to her and things will sour quickly, bottom line.

And for the record, a chick who has her **** together does not dance in clubs for money nor do they seek serious relationships with guys who are married with children. What chick is going want to deal with you and all your baggage when they are getting propositioned multiple times a night? She's younger, bad, and at the club all the time. Think about it.

 

[trilluminated]

OP, your only option is to turn gay.

 

[Mark Antony]

The side chick likes the way y'all are now. There's things you do now that drive her wild that's only possible because you have a main and other priorities. When you jump into relationship mode before her, **** becomes normal and boring. Your new main is out.

 

[marley420]

Real playboys keep a bunny on a side.

Sup playboy!!

 

[tomdiginson]

OP you sound like a damn fool. Cut the side chick off and work things out with your main.