Is NOT Having Children Considered a Selfish Act?

[suberzat1]

I grew up in a single parent household and everything was good. Just depends on the parent financial power.

 

[wayniac211]

Kids ain't the problem, it's adults.

 

[slighted]

So anyone who doesn't willingly have children is selfish?

We're free to do whatever we want and make our own choices, fam. Personally, even though I'm great with kids, I don't want kids; I'd be a better uncle.

 

[Master Zik]

No. It's not.

Exactly who is it being selfish too?

Ideally, having children is your choice and benefit to you not anyone else.

 


agreed...not having children is selfish, we need to keep adding to man's legacy...

matter of fact, even the bible says "go forth and be fruitful," its mans duty to pass on his seed and the more he does it, the better he is... 
 

I saw this in another thread.

That can easily be seen as an arrogant and deluded world view.

It implies that there's some inherent importance to adding to "man's legacy" as if it has any actual meaning but it's deeper cuz that's all apart of that selfish egotistical humans are really special and important belief that gets pushed on ppl.

If you're a cynic or adhere to any nihilistic views that thinking is just added to the rest of unproven ways ppl say you should live your life.

Using the bible as support makes it even worse. Specifically this part where the more you spread the seed the better you are In this society it's the exact opposite. You'd have to go to a select few cultures where that is praised and seen as a good thing.

If he thought like that you wouldn't be here

You can be better than your father famb.

Yeah but it's not like he asked to be born or be raised by an unfit father.

If your progenitors struggled for hundreds of years to allow your life to be possible and you decide the line stops with you, I think that is a bit selfish. Especially if your family hasn't accomplished or contributed to society.


But then again, if your family has always struggled and never contributed to society and only taken, why continue that line of failure? Kidding obviously.


It's a personal choice. Most of the time pregnancies are unplanned any way. We like sex and kids come from that. There's a reason sex feels good. It's because if the act of creating a life was anywhere close to the difficulty of protecting, guiding, providing for and nurturing that life, mankind would cease to exist. There are a lot of ****** parents out there.

My progenitors struggled, why the hell would I want to bring someone into this world AGAINST their will so they could struggle through life. I don't consider life a "gift", I was perfectly fine with non-existence. I didn't have to deal with ignorance, violence, disease, and a long list of life's ills. If anything it's selfish on the part of family members who they have something to gain by bringing another life into this mess.

This is why we have such a reasonable argument for pro-choice when it comes to abortion.

In my experience people who are adamant about others having children are selfish and obtuse. Having children is a sellfish act.



I suppose that woman who wants to forgo having children because she thinks it may interfere with her career as a surgeon (takes commitment and sacrifice, she wants to help others) and she feels she can't give the child the attention it deserves is somehow less committed than that woman with 5 kids and no job, who relies on government funds and child support?

When your womb becomes barren and you've lost out on potential life partners because you kept putting off children in lieu of a career you have no one to blame but yourself for being selfish.

There's no one to blame in that scenario because you can always adopt.

How is getting farther ahead in your career so that you could be in the best position to care for a child selfish? Like does it make sense to get pregnant 2 years in to your career so you can go on maternity leave and be set back and lose chances for advancement? How is struggling to provide for your family a good decision?

Something is wrong here.



@Joe Cool already spoke on it but there's really two different types of selfishness and in the world we live in being "selfish" about somethings isn't a bad thing no matter the stigma and negative connotations attached to it. Only in an ideal world, where all children are provided for and cared for by their parents and raised as best as possibly could deciding not to have children be seen as negative thing in terms of being selfish. We clearly do not live in that world. I don't fully agree with it but there are ppl making strong arguments that it is a far more unselfish and good act to adopt instead of getting (someone) pregnant and that's keep in mind that you may not even be the best fit to be a parent in a 1st world country.

 

[truth-serum]

I noticed that the people who shouldn't have kids have kids and people that should have kids dont have kids

There is actually a correlation between intelligence and the likelihood of having a planned pregnancy vs an unplanned one

 

[sfc415]

Babies and toddlers annoy the @!## out of me, and I hate teenagers. There's basically only a 8 year window where I'm cool with them, so I'm not sure I should have kids

 

[yogurt]

I said this in the other thread:

How can you be selfish towards something that doesn't even exist yet?? That's like saying by eating the slice of pizza in the fridge I'm being selfish because the invisible dog I don't own would have wanted it.

If you insist on validating your life by having children, there are plenty of children without families that can and should be adopted. People acting like this is some Children of Men scenario where the Earth's population is decimated and everyone are sterile so repopulating this planet is Goal #1.

Waaaah I want something with my own DNA in it so I can have real offspring. The words from other NT threads come to mind: "Elitism", "Privilege", "Lack of empathy". If you were really selfless, you'd adopt a child and help out a kid whose unfortunate circumstances in life that were out of their control caused them to be in that situation. Something people on NT like to say is important.

 

[slighted]

 
I remember back when I was dating this one chick and she wanted to have kids. We were together for a couple of years and I thought we could've had a future together and I figured it would happen at some point in the future. Only thing was that she wanted them NOW. As a 21 year old I was like hell no, we are still kids ourselves. I don't know if it was the fact that her mother had her when she was a teenager or if all of her friends were either having kids or getting married, but she was determined to have a kid. She didn't have a plan or anything. Neither of us had any real money or a place to stay; we were just college kids trying to get degrees. Maybe I was selfish, but there was no way I was ready to have a kid without a stable job or a place to live. Plus I still wanted to travel a bit. A year later after we broke up and I moved across country she tells me she's having a kid. In the end we both got what we wanted. I got to travel, grow up and learn about myself and she got a kid.

How were you selfish?

Don't blame yourself because you know what you want. Don't let anyone force you to do something you don't want.

 

[pretty tony]

No. But I think it's weird to not want to.

 

[zapatohead408]

It's not selfish, especially in this over populated world.

I often times don't want to have kids because one, I don't think this world will be around for long. Two, I see the world as a messed up scary place where I wouldn't want my kids to grow up in. Three, I sometimes want to be all alone for ever. Other times I'd like to meet a chick and settle, but for the most part, I'd rather be alone. If I'm alone, I can take off and do whatever I want, whenever I want. Hell, maybe next month I'll want to work in North Dakota, I don't want to have to answer to anybody.

 

[heliumclinton]

No. But I think it's weird to not want to.

Why?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Some of you know, I am a teacher. So I deal with kids 50+ hours per week. More than any parent deals with their own child that is of school age.

I need a break from them by time 6 pm comes. Picture me going home and spending time with MORE children. Nah, I need my time. I need to be able to watch wrestling. I need to be able to watch NBA. I need tk be able to play 2K. No, I don't need to grow up. That's how you grow old

I need to keep my sanity. Am I allowed to be selfish or am I not doing enough for the community as it is.

That is why I laughed at the statement of people that don't want them as being selfish.

 

[therealrell]

Overpopulated world being an excuse . If education and opportunity were available in the third world, there wouldn't be population booms and finite resources.

 

[jape]

my life is stable and i'm responsible enough but im not going to lie the thought of not having kids so i can do all the things i want to do crosses my mind a lot. 

i go back and forth because i really love kids. i work in a children's hospital and i completely understand all the responsibility that comes with a child but i'm not sure i want that...ever.

i know if i have a kid, everything i do in my life from that point forward will be for the betterment of my child's future.  that's a lot of responsibility. 

hahah **** i have to find a wife 1st lol

 

[Top Boy]

Im trying to be about that DINK life.

Kids can kick rocks.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

You can love kids and not want kids. I think people fail to understand that.

Also, not having them is a different type of selfish than having them. As Joe Johnson said, having kids is the ULTRA ULTRA ULTRA COMBO ego move, so how can yall call childless folks selfish?

 

[tmak15]

I'm 27 and my lil sister is 7, as far as I'm concerned my folks already took care of the whole having a child thing. I feel no need to have a child of my own knowing one day I might have to look after her.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I'm 27 and my lil sister is 7, as far as I'm concerned my folks already took care of the whole having a child thing. I feel no need to have a child of my own knowing one day I might have to look after her.

Lol @ you be in ng selfish for THAT

 

[Top Boy]

Think it's a lot easier to go about this when you have siblings whom have kids... Your nieces and nephews.

It like it just drains that Call to Nature to spread your genes right out of you.

Only thing that would make me want to have kids is seeing the way my nephew and niece turn out.

My siblings sometimes make me think im adopted how idiotic they are, and im too busy to constantly eagle eye them.

Need to have someone from our generation to pass the torch to.

 

[PRIME]

Some of you know, I am a teacher. So I deal with kids 50+ hours per week. More than any parent deals with their own child that is of school age.

I need a break from them by time 6 pm comes. Picture me going home and spending time with MORE children. Nah, I need my time. I need to be able to watch wrestling. I need to be able to watch NBA. I need tk be able to play 2K. No, I don't need to grow up. That's how you grow old

I need to keep my sanity. Am I allowed to be selfish or am I not doing enough for the community as it is.

That is why I laughed at the statement of people that don't want them as being selfish.

As a teacher, you should be able to calculate that out of 24 hours a day, you have heir kids 6 of those 24, leaving the remaining 18 hours of that child's time spent with their parents, in addition to the 48 hours on the weekend adding up to 138 hours a week spent parenting.

As a dad, I wish a teacher would try to tell me they spend more time with my kid than I do.

And let's not factor in the Summer break that you get

But in any case, I think you're over thinking the situation of having kids, much like every non parent does.

A lot of people base their opinion on having kids off someone they see out in public struggling to keep their children in order or just a bad parent in general that they see and generalize it into that being what parenting is all like. It isn't the case, in the least bit.

Having a child doesn't mean losing your sanity. As a grown man, a child shouldn't stress you out to the point where you go insane. Have some self control. Now, I inderstand that you are a teacher and deal with more children on a daily basis than a parent who cares for 1-4 kids depending, so should you have a kid? I don't know, that's on you. You've made it openly known that you don't want any. I can respect that.

But as a father, I play FIFA, I watch games every game day, I go to the bar to chill with my homies and everything. Am I doing it every night? No. Do I play video games whenever I want? Sure, if my son is taken care of first. It's a responsibility. It's a mentality. I don't even want to play video games or go out drinking unless my son is completely taken care of first.

And adding to that, he has a mother. I mean, it takes 2 people to make a child. When I'm doing whatever I doing, his mother tends to him, and visa versa.

Having a kid isn't hard and it's not like you lose your life. I think I explained that to someone else in another thread a little while ago.

But I completely understand and respect your reason on not wanting to have kids. As stated in my other post, you aren't selfish for not wanting to have any. It's not like the earth is at some shortage of children.

But here's how I look at it, as a teacher you don't want kids, mainly because you deal with kids on a daily basis and need time to yourself after spending the day with kids.

As a dad, I would never be a teacher because I have my own damn kid and I'm not about to deal with anyone else's kids on a day in day out basis because after tending to my own child I want to do what I want as well.

Is it selfish to not want to be a teacher?

 

[jape]

 A lot of people base their opinion on having kids off someone they see out in public struggling to keep their children in order or just a bad parent in general that they see and generalize it into that being what parenting is all like. It isn't the case, in the least bit.

not true at all.

im basing off good parents, great parents actually.  i see how much they love their children and see how much sacrifice is needed.  

it really is a full time job to be a GOOD PARENT.

 

[tmak15]

Lol @ you be in ng selfish for THAT

HOW SWAY?! I look after my sister like she's my own, my girl has a lil brother that's 6. When we all go out it's like a show outta ABC family b.

 

[SC kid]

Did not know dcallamerican was a teacher mind blown

 

[PRIME]

 A lot of people base their opinion on having kids off someone they see out in public struggling to keep their children in order or just a bad parent in general that they see and generalize it into that being what parenting is all like. It isn't the case, in the least bit.

not true at all.
im basing off good parents, great parents actually.  i see how much they love their children and see how much sacrifice is needed.  
it really is a full time job to be a GOOD PARENT.

I said a lot. Not all

I was actually referencing people I know personally who base their opinions on that. I've had convos and they'll tell me about how they don't know how I do it, how they can't give up such and such, how they're so young, how they can't afford to provide for their kid and continue to cop J's and LV, etc. Wild **** that really makes me think that all people shouldn't have kids.

Everyone may have a reason for not wanting to have kids, and I respect them all.

I'd rather that, than someone have kids and then not take care of them, or sacrifice the child's happiness for their own, or neglect their child, etc. THATS selfish

 

[DCAllAfrican]

F

As a teacher, you should be able to calculate that out of 24 hours a day, you have heir kids 6 of those 24, leaving the remaining 18 hours of that child's time spent with their parents, in addition to the 48 hours on the weekend adding up to 138 hours a week spent parenting.

1. How much influence on a child does a parent have when that child is sleep? If on average, a parents gets off of work at 5, lets say their first contact with their child starts at 6 PM. 6 PM until about 9 (the age group I work in's average bed time); hell even say 10 pm. That is 4 hours of time spent with the child. We aren't counting sleep time. Give them an hour in the morning. I still come out on top as spending more time with the child than the parent.

This isn't even a discussion, it is already know teachers spend more time with kids than their families do. Not even sure why you chose THAT to argue.

2. I clearly wasn't speaking of the weekend.

Nice try though