I feel like in a way it all kind of blends together. red pill "recognizes" the landscape, or tells you what the landscape is. alpha-male, high value male, pick up artist ideologies are how red pill adopters navigate the landscape. theres some cross over between them but theyre not all identical. pick up artitsts are very intentional about exploiting the female disposition from what ive seen. its also where negging comes from.
i think the overall issue with red pill is that its prescriptively macro if that makes sense. women want this, men act like this. its one of things i had an issue with the lines of questioning the likes of Kevin Samuels and Fresh and Fit have. While 99% of women will say they would want to be with a successful man making 500K a year, on the micro most women dont actually eliminate all men who dont make that from their dating pool. are there some delusional women out there? absolutely. but some much goes out the window once people actually meet. and interact and thats obviously clear by the fact that alot of these womens past relationships and baby's fathers dont meet that standard. and there are dudes that date woman on different ends of the attractiveness spectrum. a lot of these podcast folks build off of the assumption that men and women resist deviating from the "perfect man" or the "perfect woman". And not to let my own bias go unchecked but i dont think that seems to be the case in my middle to upper middle class bubble in and around the city of philly and for a brief time new york.
This is my own conclusion that I’ve drawn but For most people, being self sufficient, able bodied, neurotypical, employed, and decently put together, is going to put you in the dating pool of most other people. It’s gonna be reliant on Your ability to be around most people when the time is appropriate.
it goes much further, i haven’t yet seen fit to go down the trail of all the variants of the ‘manosphere,’ there are ‘men going their own way’ blue/black/pink/purple/white pill slants that i’m not really clear on the actual distinctions between. that said i would say that the difference i see from men & women in terms of dating today is that men eventually have to figure out how to get what they want (which leads men to be more apt seek solutions) while women must discern from those that meet some minimum viable requirement(s).
which almost invariably tends to mostly mean men do the work on the front end of seeking out and trying to create/sustain an attraction, while women are, or at least should be, trying to determine fitness to whatever her requirements are. the questioning on these shows, mindful that it is also seeking to entertain & not nuance, are to frame the argument that women’s expectations for men are many & perhaps unrealistic (to an extent maybe even to point out what women say they want is actually somewhat irrelevant, if you are your best self) and i’d argue this does ultimately affect women’s satisfaction with the actual men that they do choose and/or those men that could/would be more appropriate. it’s very true that in actual practice, height, income, & status are not the automatically (dis)qualifiers that some make them out to be but some of the answers to subsequent questions around dealing with said ‘ideal’ guy: ‘
what percentage of men fit this criteria?
what benefit would you bring to said man?
would you expect said man to be faithful?
what things does said man typically value/want from women?
what are you doing/would do to get said man?
would you put off your career for said man?
do you want children? if so when?
would you want to have to work to pay significant bills?
i think, does reveal something about how many women seem to view men & how they believe relationships should work…and i’d add that because women today are raised to be workers rather (the necessity of which is undeniable) than wives/useful to a man they aren’t really actively thinking about what men want, which they aren’t any obligation to do given they have their own agency & aspirations beyond men. it just illustrates that many women aren’t at all thinking about the wants of men (beyond being aware that men want sexy time and perhaps after they found a suitable man) the same way men in many respects are raised to be aware of what women in general want (which also might be on the decline as many men are under the impression that women & men are the same in terms of relationship value). men can be delusional too, but they kinda have to know some realities about women in order to be an option
the access that social media allows women today in both regards to men of status and visibility into luxury lifestyle, i think makes it harder for the younger set to get together, especially if more people are doing the online dating thing (where it is orders of magnitude easier for women to dismiss men, the stats i have heard on this are kinda mindblowing)…i don’t know how old you are, but dating today seems a whole different animal than in the past. combine this with the trend of less men in university and decent paying low skill labor…just because folks are all in the pool, doesn’t really count for that much today…but you definitely have be in the pool tho and the environment is shaping up such that less ‘viable’ men will even be in the pool
even as a single 40 year old dude that came up in the time before apps, approaching women today in the public is just inefficient and can be so variable & mood/setting dependent with women tending to like things on their terms. for example, i’ve had women genuinely say they don’t like it when or be confused why a guy would approach them at places like work, the gym, a random gas station or the like but won’t connect it with how she met the last guy she dated at the auto shop while waiting to get an oil change, it’s basically the same thing but one definitely seems more like an intrusion to women generally. again, obviously women aren’t under any real obligations to consider/understand this dynamic but it has seemingly become a more unwelcomed to shoot the shot like yesteryear
"history was/is written from a mostly male lens by those in power"
It was culture that put those men in positions of power to write history, not biology.
i wouldn’t disagree, but doesn’t biology impact culture? why was it that culture didn’t see fit to put women in those same positions throughout history as well, if not for biology?
, some are more aware of that than others but the understanding of which isn't necessarily required for success, which is to say some might need the formal explanation and some naturally get by other means. especially as a normal guy as opposed to an average woman, who will get more exposure to managing the interaction(s) with the opposite gender. add to that men generally are a bit less socially aware, the remove of social media/technology, as well as awkwardness (women too these days) & negativity around men pursuing women in public spaces, the recipe for awkwardness is there for young people today such that it is possible that some guys don't get the experience of dealing with girls in the 'appropriate ' way to foster attraction
i‘d hope that women see through the whole ‘ally’ approach if only on a latent level…
), for men viewing women. why is it automatically toxic for a man to behave/communicate/want things a certain way (excluding harm, which i’d limit to physical & psychological and not necessarily including restricting women’s freedom to be in the world if that makes sense), because culture/society has become more formal and seeks appeals to our “better nature” doesnt fundamentally change that men & women want & are attracted different things
www.refinery29.com
combination of working from home & too much time online for me 
