NT I need Advice (Relationship Related), I'm losing my mind.

[fade on you]

On some real #$%$ ive been with this girl for 5 1/2 years...things have went downhill in the past month after we had a big argument about her mother who icouldnt stand, after the fight i realized i was being unfair passing judgement on her mother....after that she told me she shut down emotionally and over thepast month she's been falling out of love with me she tells me. This past Weds she told me she's done and she cant do it anymore...i had a talk withher yesterday she said if i can change she will try. On some simp #$%$ we usually talk about 4 hours a day, calling each other about 6-8 times a day. Keep inmind this is basically all we have since we are long distance...we see each other once a month. Im going crazy not talking to her that much, its killing me.She told me she needs space because there's things in her life she needs to fix (finances, her health) and she feels as if im too controlling andsmothering her. I want to marry this girl and spend the rest of my life with her...how do i fix this? I cant even stand the thought of not being with her, itskilling me.

 

[eaalto]

For what timespan has the relationship been long distance?

 

[fade on you]

Originally Posted by eaalto

For what timespan has the relationship been long distance?

Always has been...the whole 5 1/2 years.

 

[king beef]

I had the same problem. But I saw this girl every single day. When she asked for space. I gave her just that. Once she found out I was smashing again shewanted me back.


It will be easier to give space when you are only speaking on the phone. Go meet some new people and start connecting with people in a more face to faceenviroment. The more you speak on the phone, the more you will worry about a girl that isn't in to you anymore and is far away.


Edit: For me, the first couple of days of trying not to see much or talked to this girl was weird. But I held out and eventually, (about a week) I was goingout with friends more and I was back to the way I was before I was dating. Since you were in a 5 1/2 year deal then it will take you longer obviously, but justhang in there and give her space.

 

[ghenges]

I thought you were a girl.

 

[shoxbb433]

Originally Posted by Fade On You

On some real #$%$ ive been with this girl for 5 1/2 years...things have went downhill in the past month after we had a big argument about her mother who i couldnt stand, after the fight i realized i was being unfair passing judgement on her mother....after that she told me she shut down emotionally and over the past month she's been falling out of love with me she tells me. This past Weds she told me she's done and she cant do it anymore...i had a talk with her yesterday she said if i can change she will try. On some simp #$%$ we usually talk about 4 hours a day, calling each other about 6-8 times a day. Keep in mind this is basically all we have since we are long distance...we see each other once a month. Im going crazy not talking to her that much, its killing me. She told me she needs space because there's things in her life she needs to fix (finances, her health) and she feels as if im too controlling and smothering her. I want to marry this girl and spend the rest of my life with her...how do i fix this? I cant even stand the thought of not being with her, its killing me.

On some real, all you can do is give her space. Leave the girl alone and leave it in god's hands. If it's meant to be it will. It is sounding like shedont want you anymore fam, and I know that hurts but you are just gonna have to dust off ya pimpgame and move on to the next. I know you thinkin with ya heartand whatnot but you are simp'n

 

[million dollar stacks]

murder-suicide is the only way.

 

[fade on you]

Originally Posted by King Beef

I had the same problem. But I saw this girl every single day. When she asked for space. I gave her just that. Once she found out I was smashing again she wanted me back.


It will be easier to give space when you are only speaking on the phone. Go meet some new people and start connecting with people in a more face to face enviroment. The more you speak on the phone, the more you will worry about a girl that isn't in to you anymore and is far away.


Edit: For me, the first couple of days of trying not to see much or talked to this girl was weird. But I held out and eventually, (about a week) I was going out with friends more and I was back to the way I was before I was dating. Since you were in a 5 1/2 year deal then it will take you longer obviously, but just hang in there and give her space.

Do you think this is worth me fighting for though? !**% is deep. A month and a half ago we were making plans for buying a home together and talks aboutmarriage....i was going to ask her to marry me this June....after 5 1/2 years of love like that you just dont fall out of it.

 

[eaalto]

I wouldn't be able to do that. I hate talking on the phone. So you guys only see each other once a month, so you've only seen each other a little over60 times? Or were there times where you had extended contact with each other?

 

[king beef]

She on the low low with the creepin. IDK what to say.

 

[shoxbb433]

Im comvinced, you are a simp.

 

[me4u2night]

5 1/2yrs long distance? How old are you guys?

 

[nycknicks105]

Long distance is tough man.

 

[fade on you]

Me4u2Night wrote:

---

5 1/2yrs long distance? How old are you guys?


Im 23 shes 30. I realize im simping but i know she's the one for me...this %+@* is driving me nuts i dont know what do to.

 

[me4u2night]

Originally Posted by Fade On You

Me4u2Night wrote:

---

5 1/2yrs long distance? How old are you guys?

Im 23 shes 30. I realize im simping but i know she's the one for me...this %+@* is driving me nuts i dont know what do to.



There is a big age difference there, but more importantly you guys have been "dating" long distance. Can you really get to know or trust a person vialong distance?
Try living with the girl before before proposing.
My apologies because this is going to come out insulting, but you guys are on two different levels as far as maturity. You're still a kid, whereasshe's already had her experiences.
But be aware, she's 30, she's going to be ready to get married soon. Do you think you really want to commit yourself to her???
You're only 23. There's alot out there for you.

In light of everything I said, if you're really entertaining being with her, give her some space. Leave her alone. She will come back. THEY ALWAYS DO!!!

 

[cocolicious]

So based on the age you started dating this is probably your first real relationship? Do you really want to get married after only having one realrelationship? And if she wants space then that's want you have to give her. If she's going to leave you she will and you can't change that.

 

[ldj]

You two are in two totally different phrases in life. She has more experiences with life true, but she is very immature and not in a stage to be in a committedrelationship..(the fact she is 30 involving herself with a 23 y/o, the fact that she is 30 and committing herself to a long distance relationship) Plus you arejust beginning to live life. So to try a full committed relationship, a long distance one on top of that with a woman at a different stage is life.... well tobe honest is kinda foolish.

I would just cut my losses and move on. Its only been a few months. You dont even have a true assestment of a person, or even build a genuine relationship withsomeone in such a short time esp.. Seeing the relationship is long distance.

 

[jd3772000]

Originally Posted by Tinchy Stryder

YNS

 

[htwn hitman]

"i need sapce" in girl talk is i dont want you anymore or she was with someone else. thats what my ex told me then she called me said a dude gave herherpes

and she wanted me back. karma FTW

 

[infamousod]

there's something preventing me from reading your text...can anyone guess what that is?

 

[al audi]

Originally Posted by Fade On You

Originally Posted by eaalto

For what timespan has the relationship been long distance?

Always has been...the whole 5 1/2 years.

geezus christ

how in the world do people do this?

man to man nh...........................you never cheated?

 

[al audi]

Originally Posted by Fade On You

Me4u2Night wrote:

---

5 1/2yrs long distance? How old are you guys?

Im 23 shes 30. I realize im simping but i know she's the one for me...this %+@* is driving me nuts i dont know what do to.


OOOOOOOOOOOOO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NAH

sorry to laugh but yo what are you doing son?

 

[solewoman]

there is so much wrong here i dont know where to begin....5 1/2 years long distance...? 7 year age gap...? woah. imo long distance never works. and you guysare in two different places emotionally. in short: on to the next one.

 

[socluis90]

Originally Posted by Nike Star Jay

Hmm, long distance relationship and she wants "space"? Some other dude's smashing on the side.

took 23 posts but THIS!

 

[al audi]

you been with ol girl since you were 18?

real talk how did this relationship come to be?

and what do your peers think about this relationship?