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NT true "doo doo" stories
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by Renaldo Balkman,
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A couple of months ago i was completely fine and i was on the way home from school. I get off the bus and all of a sudden it starts hurting but figure i can make it home in one piece since its about a 10 minute walk. Im a block away from my house and i kid you not i was sweating bricks and it was like 10 degrees outside 
i really thought i was just about to **** my pants. I get to my door and im shaking i couldnt even unlock the door, then the inevitable happens and a little slips out 
. I completely failed the mission. 
2 years ago i had to take a crazy crap but i had lab that day and i couldnt miss it, it was chem lab so there arent any seats and you have to stand the whole period. I barely make it through it and i leave right after that class and say screw my other classes. I was a sophomore so i was 15 and i had left at around 11am so truancy was still out and my luck i leave school and they're on my tail so i have to do a ******ed run with a turtle head popping out. Im not sure how a little didnt slip out , either way i get home and just rip it and when i go to wipe it was CLEAN. Like it had never happened. Had me trippin for the rest of the day
i really thought i was just about to **** my pants. I get to my door and im shaking i couldnt even unlock the door, then the inevitable happens and a little slips out . I completely failed the mission. 2 years ago i had to take a crazy crap but i had lab that day and i couldnt miss it, it was chem lab so there arent any seats and you have to stand the whole period
. I barely make it through it and i leave right after that class and say screw my other classes. I was a sophomore so i was 15 and i had left at around 11am so truancy was still out and my luck i leave school and they're on my tail so i have to do a ******ed run with a turtle head popping out. Im not sure how a little didnt slip out , either way i get home and just rip it and when i go to wipe it was CLEAN. Like it had never happened. Had me trippin for the rest of the day
D
Deleted member 38182
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Patriots vs Panthers Superbowl while I was in college...
I bet my room mate on the game, loser had to duece in his pants following the game (no matter how long it took)...
I took the Panthers and they covered (he gave me the wrong spread)...
He did it in front of the entire party, but the crazy thing is that he had to sit on the toilet with his pants on cause it was the only way he could mentally crap himself
Damn you are old
OfficerPhan
formerly air23azn
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ever had a boner and need to poop at the same time?
solarius49
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I cant believe I'm about to tell this story again but....
Ive run into some pretty horrible things such as Jordanian food (same same jiggy jiggy?). I was so sick from the food in Jordan that I had to use a porta-john. Needless to say there was no toilet paper, except for the used stuff that was on the floor of the bathroom....Do you know how demeaning it is to have to wipe with USED toilet paper?
Ive run into some pretty horrible things such as Jordanian food (same same jiggy jiggy?). I was so sick from the food in Jordan that I had to use a porta-john. Needless to say there was no toilet paper, except for the used stuff that was on the floor of the bathroom....Do you know how demeaning it is to have to wipe with USED toilet paper?
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... thats nasty af bruh
tyevvyotcu
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At the free-throw line during my aau game. I think I have to pass gas but liquid comes out. Lol I asked to be taken out right then and take a poop for the rest of the quarter.
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:x :x
young handsome
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hell yeah... in and out... no mess
THE WORST!!! I usually piss first then sit my boner on the toilet seat with tissue under it
the toilet in my house is small
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Ofc.Phan
formerly retro23phan
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I was 4 or 5 years old. My mom would go to work and drop me off at this old lady's home who would take car of me.
Ever since I was a kid, I've had this thing about ONLY going # 2's at home. One day I get this feeling and and I HAD to go.
I go in there drop the duece and when I'm ready to wipe I go for the toilet paper and it's just the cardboard roll. I'm frantic, I'm scared to let the old lady know cuz my mom said never to let anyone see your privates and I'm naked from the waist down.
I see a lone white towel hanging on the towel rack. I say **** it and use it to wipe. One long brown streak. I throw it back on the rack, poop side to the wall and leave it like it was never touched. I diddy bop my way back like nothing happened.
Later that night I'm playing with my toys. The phone rings. Turns out the old lady was getting out the shower, grabs the towel and wipes her face with my poop. My mom screams at me, sends me to my room for bed early. Then I hear my mom tell my pops and then I hear them cracking up.
Ever since I was a kid, I've had this thing about ONLY going # 2's at home. One day I get this feeling and and I HAD to go.
I go in there drop the duece and when I'm ready to wipe I go for the toilet paper and it's just the cardboard roll. I'm frantic, I'm scared to let the old lady know cuz my mom said never to let anyone see your privates and I'm naked from the waist down.
I see a lone white towel hanging on the towel rack. I say **** it and use it to wipe. One long brown streak. I throw it back on the rack, poop side to the wall and leave it like it was never touched. I diddy bop my way back like nothing happened.
Later that night I'm playing with my toys. The phone rings. Turns out the old lady was getting out the shower, grabs the towel and wipes her face with my poop. My mom screams at me, sends me to my room for bed early. Then I hear my mom tell my pops and then I hear them cracking up.
D
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When I was like 6 I was onboard the Carnival Celebration back in 1995. And something caught fire and we lost power and water for like 3 days. I remember having to take a dump but all the toilets were overflowing.... so I just took a **** on the floor of the bathroom while my dad watched the door.
cs02132
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I went to lunch at Panera BRead with my mom and had some chocolate cake.. She had to go to Lowes after and i was waiting in the car and my stomach went to hell :x 5 minutes pass and i cant hold it in and i knew there wasnt any bathrooms around so i took a dump right outside the car.. my mom had a van so i crawled back in and went into a ball in the last row and she came back like 5 min later :x 
another time me and my mom went to the supermarket and i went to the bathroom, turns out there was no toilet paper so i had to run home and then come back to find her It was fine though i live like a 30 second run from the store
another time me and my mom went to the supermarket and i went to the bathroom, turns out there was no toilet paper so i had to run home and then come back to find her It was fine though i live like a 30 second run from the store
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dont remember it... but my Mom sure loves telling the family this story
I was 6 my brother was 2. We were taking a bubble bath together with all our toys in the tub (no ayo cause everybody did that as a kid... I hope).
Story goes that my Mom walked in, looked at me, and said "what the heck is that?"...
I look up at her and say "it's my toy"
She screams "GET OUT OF THE TUB RIGHT NOW!"
I guess I was holding my little brothers thick, dark, solid, turd log in my hand thinking it was a toy... she said I started crying and told my brother that I hated him
I was 6 my brother was 2. We were taking a bubble bath together with all our toys in the tub (no ayo cause everybody did that as a kid... I hope).
Story goes that my Mom walked in, looked at me, and said "what the heck is that?"...
I look up at her and say "it's my toy"
She screams "GET OUT OF THE TUB RIGHT NOW!"
I guess I was holding my little brothers thick, dark, solid, turd log in my hand thinking it was a toy... she said I started crying and told my brother that I hated him
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I was at Boy Scout Camp for a week, and it was the 4-5th day I believe if I remember right. Everytime I go up for a week I end up taking a **** 2-3 time at most. I swear if you have ever gone camping you know how disgusting their toilets are.
Right after breakfast I had to go REAL bad, and we had a 30 minutes after breakfast to get ready and report to our events. So I tried going to the cafeteria restroom, out of service. Thats when I decide to go back to my campsite and try to do it there.
My campsite is over a BIG hill and one of the farthest sites from the main cafeteria, so as I'm running full speed I can feel the **** about to come out....
I get there, reach for a shovel, and I start digging. Halfway through, I know that I can't take it in any longer.
I reach in my tent, I get a small plastic bag, and......I'll just let your imagination take over what happened there.
I do my business and I just throw the plastic bag of **** in that semi hole I dug up and I report to my event.
Lunch break comes around and I hear someone yelling "WHAT THE ****, SOMEONE **** IN A PLASTIC BAG AND THREW IT IN A HOLE"
They never found out
Right after breakfast I had to go REAL bad, and we had a 30 minutes after breakfast to get ready and report to our events. So I tried going to the cafeteria restroom, out of service. Thats when I decide to go back to my campsite and try to do it there.
My campsite is over a BIG hill and one of the farthest sites from the main cafeteria, so as I'm running full speed I can feel the **** about to come out....
I get there, reach for a shovel, and I start digging. Halfway through, I know that I can't take it in any longer.
I reach in my tent, I get a small plastic bag, and......I'll just let your imagination take over what happened there.
I do my business and I just throw the plastic bag of **** in that semi hole I dug up and I report to my event.
Lunch break comes around and I hear someone yelling "WHAT THE ****, SOMEONE **** IN A PLASTIC BAG AND THREW IT IN A HOLE"
They never found out
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These stories are funny, I got nothing to contribute tho.
Slightly related to the topic, but don't you hate it when you think feel like you gotta take a dump so you sit down on and all you do is piss. Be sittin there like, "I just sat and pissed like a *****."
And I'm listening to "Expensive ****" by Fela Kuti right now
meek meals
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I'm sorry I woulda just had to walk around with dookie dusted drawls that day breh
meek meals
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I was at Boy Scout Camp for a week, and it was the 4-5th day I believe if I remember right. Everytime I go up for a week I end up taking a **** 2-3 time at most. I swear if you have ever gone camping you know how disgusting their toilets are.
Right after breakfast I had to go REAL bad, and we had a 30 minutes after breakfast to get ready and report to our events. So I tried going to the cafeteria restroom, out of service. Thats when I decide to go back to my campsite and try to do it there.
My campsite is over a BIG hill and one of the farthest sites from the main cafeteria, so as I'm running full speed I can feel the **** about to come out....
I get there, reach for a shovel, and I start digging. Halfway through, I know that I can't take it in any longer.
I reach in my tent, I get a small plastic bag, and......I'll just let your imagination take over what happened there.
I do my business and I just throw the plastic bag of **** in that semi hole I dug up and I report to my event.
Lunch break comes around and I hear someone yelling "WHAT THE ****, SOMEONE **** IN A PLASTIC BAG AND THREW IT IN A HOLE"
They never found out
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he was 2... it was one of those protein chunkers I guess
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got taken by surprise once. While taking a routine #1, I ripped a surprisingly bellowing fahrt. It was enough to throw my toilet aim completely off the bowl and worry me. So I pinched the stream, completely removed my pants/draws off, turned around and sat down. I continued the pee after sitting down, but then my gut exploded and it sounded like a fishing boat dumping a 10 gallon bucket of chum into a still lake. Not even sure where that came from, but that toilet needed a double flush to clear out all the murkiness.
ohmygosher
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No such thing. Ya'll ****** are nasty.
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I cant breathe
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