John Wick
formerly jayzonmytoes
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we could use OP in some threads on here. Dude came out of nowhere with this sorcery talk
NT, what have you gotten away with?
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by cosmiccoffee9,
- Start date
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I would love too see son in a h2hk thread
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I was still underage for the majority of this past school year, so when we went out, there were a couple of bars and clubs that I was able to get into by using one of my roommates' ID.
During one of the nights that I was one of the DDs, I decided to have a couple of beers and a shot (I know) at the bar.
One the way home, the other DD and I decide to race down this long street. Of course a cop sees us, and I happen to be the one he stops. When he gets to the window, he asks,"do you know how fast you were going?" I said, "I don't know, maybe 40?" He gets mad and says, "try double...are you drunk?!?!" I wasn't, but at that point I remembered the beers and the shot I had and I feel this empty feeling since I knew that even registering on the breathalyzer would count as a DUI since I was still underage. I was so damn nervous, so the best response I could come up with was, "no, I'm not old enough to drink."
He took my license, and when he came back he asked me why I was racing with the other car. I made up some bs about last car home had to clean up or something. He handed me my tickets and told me to not be an idiot. I don't know how long he was in his car with my information, but it felt like an hour. I thought I was ******.
Freshman year in the dorms, whenever we would drink, we'd always tear **** up. Our two main targets were the exit sign on our side and the railing in the elevator. We yanked the elevator railing off so much that they reinforced it with two extra sets of nuts and bolts. It didn't help, it just motivated us even more.
One night, the RAs from completely different floors got so upset when they saw the railing on the floor, that they waited for us to get back and grilled each of us individually. I guess they hoped that since we had been drinking that one of us would be more willing to confess. Didn't happen.
We also snuck a keg up to our floor using the big move-in carts that were always in the front office area. We hid it in the guest shower so that they couldn't pin it on anyone if we were caught.
I stole my ex-girlfriend's dog one night while drunk because she had pissed me the **** off. She was boo-hooing all over social media because she couldn't find him, meanwhile me, all of my friends, and everyone we ran into are taking a bunch of group photos with him. Woke up in the morning and dropped the dog off while she was still asleep. I got away with it for about 12 hours before all of the photos started flooding in.
Edit:
On second thought, I'll leave this last one out.
During one of the nights that I was one of the DDs, I decided to have a couple of beers and a shot (I know) at the bar.
One the way home, the other DD and I decide to race down this long street. Of course a cop sees us, and I happen to be the one he stops. When he gets to the window, he asks,"do you know how fast you were going?" I said, "I don't know, maybe 40?" He gets mad and says, "try double...are you drunk?!?!" I wasn't, but at that point I remembered the beers and the shot I had and I feel this empty feeling since I knew that even registering on the breathalyzer would count as a DUI since I was still underage. I was so damn nervous, so the best response I could come up with was, "no, I'm not old enough to drink."
He took my license, and when he came back he asked me why I was racing with the other car. I made up some bs about last car home had to clean up or something. He handed me my tickets and told me to not be an idiot. I don't know how long he was in his car with my information, but it felt like an hour. I thought I was ******.
Freshman year in the dorms, whenever we would drink, we'd always tear **** up. Our two main targets were the exit sign on our side and the railing in the elevator. We yanked the elevator railing off so much that they reinforced it with two extra sets of nuts and bolts. It didn't help, it just motivated us even more.
One night, the RAs from completely different floors got so upset when they saw the railing on the floor, that they waited for us to get back and grilled each of us individually. I guess they hoped that since we had been drinking that one of us would be more willing to confess. Didn't happen.
We also snuck a keg up to our floor using the big move-in carts that were always in the front office area. We hid it in the guest shower so that they couldn't pin it on anyone if we were caught.
I stole my ex-girlfriend's dog one night while drunk because she had pissed me the **** off. She was boo-hooing all over social media because she couldn't find him, meanwhile me, all of my friends, and everyone we ran into are taking a bunch of group photos with him. Woke up in the morning and dropped the dog off while she was still asleep. I got away with it for about 12 hours before all of the photos started flooding in.
Edit:
On second thought, I'll leave this last one out.
Last edited:
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you, sir, are clearly an accomplished navigator of the fine line between truth and stupidity.
your mental agility in the first scenario is astounding!
along with employing the sly tactic of devising a technically correct response containing minimal information, you also used stereotypes about your demographic (young, dumb and reckless) to your advantage in order to elicit the favor of the lawman, who likely saw himself in your position in the days of yore. an unqualified success in the mendacious arts!
your youthful transgressions in the halls of adolescent learning are all too common, and I daresay that these challenges were highly instructive to fellow residents of your dorm, displaying beyond reproach the powers of teamwork and solidarity in furthering the goals of a collective.
it was most sporting of you to return the mongrel to the home of your former consort.
in recognition of your final contribution--a well considered offering, to be sure--I shall introduce this quote that I've always found helpful in precarious interpersonal situations:
"discretion is the better part of both valor and pragmatism."
--anonymous villian
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Sonofa***** 
wavy daddy
Banned
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In college, every other week I would pull the fire alarm in our dorm at 3:30 AM on a Tuesday night and my roommate and I would drive to McDonalds, get breakfast then come back to the dorm to see everyone outside mad and in their sleepwear and waiting for the Fire Dept. to show up.
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LMAO
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In college, when we would throw house parties, we would use empty bottles of premium liquor and fill up those bottles with expensive liquor to fool the ladies into thinking we were "balling" per say
Empty Hennessy bottle : filled with E&J
Empty Ciroc Bottle: filled with svedka or velicoff
Empty bottles of Moët : filled with Andrè
Empty Hennessy bottle : filled with E&J
Empty Ciroc Bottle: filled with svedka or velicoff
Empty bottles of Moët : filled with Andrè
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men like your roommate make loyal friends and loathsome enemies...your actions were reprehensible, but your allegiance well placed.
and as the assembled female company had surely engaged in all manner of visual trickery--elevating their languishing bosoms with complex suspension designs, constricting their deceptively abundant girth with binding devices--all, indeed, is fair in love and war.
Last edited:
Ox.
formerly oxpenguin
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- having 3 girlfriends when I was 19.
- in high school there were these packets that were worth 5 credits, it would take about a lunch period to finish reading it, take a test the next meeting. we would meet mon, wed, fri. the school was super strict on these tests, they were numbered, they kept count and we got searched on the way out (it was that type of high school). the way they were given, there was a list with the test number you were on. somehow there was a mix up and I got two packets, I stuck one in my binder (they wouldn't search thoroughly) I worked on one at home and the other at school. if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have graduated.
- started going to bars when I was 16.
- in high school there were these packets that were worth 5 credits, it would take about a lunch period to finish reading it, take a test the next meeting. we would meet mon, wed, fri. the school was super strict on these tests, they were numbered, they kept count and we got searched on the way out (it was that type of high school). the way they were given, there was a list with the test number you were on. somehow there was a mix up and I got two packets, I stuck one in my binder (they wouldn't search thoroughly) I worked on one at home and the other at school. if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have graduated.
- started going to bars when I was 16.
