NT's take on cheating? vol. ex on her way over

[fontaine]

You just laughed at me for saying I wanted a girl that'd be fine with me smashing other chicks.

Now you're saying you can have gf benefits without having a gf. You're not really getting what I want when I say a gf and all of the luxuries and benefits. I'm talking about ALL of them. I'll need that loyal chick which is why I posted that House of Cards pic earlier.
I'd get over it.

maybe I interpreted it wrong... If so, sorry about that kinfoe...

I took it as... You want a girl that's going to say "yeah... We're dating... And I'm committed to you... But you can be sexually involved with other yambs while I twiddle my thumbs."

What I'm saying is that you can have a girl that's really cool, honest, delivers yambs, spends time, comes through in the clutch, cooks dinner from time to time, listens to you complain, bounce ideas off of, and hang out with...

Without saying "I am in a committed relationship with you"...

Consistently guys think that's the only way to get close to a woman and its not.

As a matter of fact, Bill Burr spoke on it on his most recent podcast... You'd be thoroughly surprised at the reaction you get.

Girls start that crazy stuff when you lie to them or have ulterior motives.. then flip the script.


Back to your point... Of you're saying y'all both can be involved with someone else... Then I hear you... As long as its explained and y'all are secure enough with each other and yourselves...

Its all about honesty and forthrightness...

 

[x Buddha Bless x]

 

 

being a polyamorist>

No.


It can be cool in the short term while at a certain age, but that relationship practice leads to many issues and yields no long term benefits


Most people end up aging out of engaging in polyamory.

---

Even though monogamy is not natural, it is the most beneficial relationship practice to everyone involved.

From what I've seen it's been much older ppl engaging in polyamory and labelling themselves polyamorists. Older ppl as in they got grown as kids already, they're in their 30s to 50s. I'm not seeing how you age out of that.


I'm also not seeing monogamy being the most beneficial relationship practice as some fact, especially for everyone involved. If that were true the divorce rate wouldn't be so high and it's not like we can get some accurate stats on non married relationships to see if the majority aren't cheating to prove that statement.
[thread="578561"] [/thread]

Polyamorists usually engage in the practice for a while until they realize there aren't really long term benefits. Research shows that the allure and excitement of engaging in multiple relationships eventually gives way to the emotional strain of having to maintain those relationships. Expectations from one or more partners in the relationship often change as time goes on, resulting in jealousy, role confusion, and self esteem issues.There is also more of a health risk for engaging in polyamory, since multiple parties are sleeping with multiple people. For those reasons, the majority of people who engage polyamory eventually revert back to practicing monogamy. 

In a world where instant gratification has become the standard and choices are abundant in every aspect of life, monogamy has become very difficult for people to successfully engage in. But when it is done right, it is the most beneficial for all. People who are committed to practicing monogamy have less health concerns, less self esteem issues, and are overall happier within their relationships and in their lives in general. 

What it sounds like is that some polyamorists simply haven't fully committed and got their act together. A few lines drawn here and there can curvesome of those problems. I can say when polyamory is done right they'll be less self esteem issues, health concerns, and those involved will be overall happier with their multiple relationships and lives in general.

You can say if anything is done right it'll be best for everyone involved. Thing is it's not like monogamy is always or even consistently done right.

You just laughed at me for saying I wanted a girl that'd be fine with me smashing other chicks.

Now you're saying you can have gf benefits without having a gf. You're not really getting what I want when I say a gf and all of the luxuries and benefits. I'm talking about ALL of them. I'll need that loyal chick which is why I posted that House of Cards pic earlier.
I'd get over it.

maybe I interpreted it wrong... If so, sorry about that kinfoe...

I took it as... You want a girl that's going to say "yeah... We're dating... And I'm committed to you... But you can be sexually involved with other yambs while I twiddle my thumbs."

What I'm saying is that you can have a girl that's really cool, honest, delivers yambs, spends time, comes through in the clutch, cooks dinner from time to time, listens to you complain, bounce ideas off of, and hang out with...

Without saying "I am in a committed relationship with you"...

Consistently guys think that's the only way to get close to a woman and its not.

As a matter of fact, Bill Burr spoke on it on his most recent podcast... You'd be thoroughly surprised at the reaction you get.

Girls start that crazy stuff when you lie to them or have ulterior motives.. then flip the script.


Back to your point... Of you're saying y'all both can be involved with someone else... Then I hear you... As long as its explained and y'all are secure enough with each other and yourselves...

Its all about honesty and forthrightness...

Well no, I didn't mean it as that first part and as for what you're saying I'd want that but the only part you're leaving out is she'd be okay with me getting other yambs as well.

 

[combo gd]

 

The research is saying that monogamy is the relationship practice that yields the least amount of issues, not me. 

Just think how hard it is for two people to successfully have a monogamous relationship. You don't think it would be even harder for two people to be in a polyamorous relationship, and each of them having two other people they needed to make happy simultaneously? 

 

[yanky]

6 pages of jibber jabber and still no pics? What has this world come to. |I

 

[x Buddha Bless x]

 

The research is saying that monogamy is the relationship practice that yields the least amount of issues, not me. 

Just think how hard it is for two people to successfully have a monogamous relationship. You don't think it would be even harder for two people to be in a polyamorous relationship, and each of them having two other people they needed to make happy simultaneously? 

Can you post a link to this research? Cuz the way you're explaining it so far doesn't seem anything more than an opinion.

 

[HEATHEN]

6 pages of jibber jabber and still no pics? What has this world come to. |I

6 pages and nobody has answered the burning question.


IF you want to smash multiple chicks why not stay single? Why the need to cuff someone and have sexual relationships with other women?


Just answer me that people.


Because if you're in a relationship with a girl who you have an emotional connection to then she's obviously compatible with you sexually......Right?

Or nah? The p is whack and you're with her because you have "feelings" for her. Or the p is good but you've grown tired of being with the same thing....


Because if that's the case then aren't you leading her on? Obviously she's not sufficient enough in either case to warrant a relationship with you.



I just don't get why ya'll have to come up with these BS excuses like it's "natural" for men to act in this way. Just be real, you want the security of a relationship, you want that emotional connection but you also want to eat your cake too. You want to live out your carnal desires with someone else because the person you're with isn't sufficient to satisfy your needs.


Seems like a lot of you guys are insecure and settle for a chick who satisfies your emotional needs but not your physical needs.

If your chick is down with you being with other chicks or she's curious enough to go for a threesome involving another chick hey that's cool, that's completely kosher in my book. But if you have to bargain with your chick, like really have to convince her to allow you to have relations with another you're just looking out for your own selfish needs and you really need to step back and evaluate your relationship.


Be true to yourself and those in your life. Sometimes loving/caring about a girl involves letting her go so you can do you. It's difficult but it's a far better option than potentially destroying her emotional integrity, and please believe, if she does love you then that's exactly what'll happen.

 

[Nawzlew]

Scumbag.

 

[stahnskiohhh]

6 pages and nobody has answered the burning question.


IF you want to smash multiple chicks why not stay single? Why the need to cuff someone and have sexual relationships with other women?


Just answer me that people.


Because if you're in a relationship with a girl who you have an emotional connection to then she's obviously compatible with you sexually......Right?

Or nah? The p is whack and you're with her because you have "feelings" for her. Or the p is good but you've grown tired of being with the same thing....


Because if that's the case then aren't you leading her on? Obviously she's not sufficient enough in either case to warrant a relationship with you.



I just don't get why ya'll have to come up with these BS excuses like it's "natural" for men to act in this way. Just be real, you want the security of a relationship, you want that emotional connection but you also want to eat your cake too. You want to live out your carnal desires with someone else because the person you're with isn't sufficient to satisfy your needs.


Seems like a lot of you guys are insecure and settle for a chick who satisfies your emotional needs but not your physical needs.

If your chick is down with you being with other chicks or she's curious enough to go for a threesome involving another chick hey that's cool, that's completely kosher in my book. But if you have to bargain with your chick, like really have to convince her to allow you to have relations with another you're just looking out for your own selfish needs and you really need to step back and evaluate your relationship.


Be true to yourself and those in your life. Sometimes loving/caring about a girl involves letting her go so you can do you. It's difficult but it's a far better option than potentially destroying her emotional integrity, and please believe, if she does love you then that's exactly what'll happen.

Bet some of these lames will call you a simp/ksteezy

 

[halftime]

Wow it really is 2014 and still no pics

 

[celticspride34]

:x

6 pages of jibber jabber and still no pics? What has this world come to. |I

6 pages and nobody has answered the burning question.


IF you want to smash multiple chicks why not stay single? Why the need to cuff someone and have sexual relationships with other women?


Just answer me that people.


Because if you're in a relationship with a girl who you have an emotional connection to then she's obviously compatible with you sexually......Right?

Or nah? The p is whack and you're with her because you have "feelings" for her. Or the p is good but you've grown tired of being with the same thing....


Because if that's the case then aren't you leading her on? Obviously she's not sufficient enough in either case to warrant a relationship with you.



I just don't get why ya'll have to come up with these BS excuses like it's "natural" for men to act in this way. Just be real, you want the security of a relationship, you want that emotional connection but you also want to eat your cake too. You want to live out your carnal desires with someone else because the person you're with isn't sufficient to satisfy your needs.


Seems like a lot of you guys are insecure and settle for a chick who satisfies your emotional needs but not your physical needs.

If your chick is down with you being with other chicks or she's curious enough to go for a threesome involving another chick hey that's cool, that's completely kosher in my book. But if you have to bargain with your chick, like really have to convince her to allow you to have relations with another you're just looking out for your own selfish needs and you really need to step back and evaluate your relationship.


Be true to yourself and those in your life. Sometimes loving/caring about a girl involves letting her go so you can do you. It's difficult but it's a far better option than potentially destroying her emotional integrity, and please believe, if she does love you then that's exactly what'll happen.

So much truth... This is why I don't get into relationships where she isn't ok with me having sexual relations with other women... I'm completely capable of a monogamous emotional relationship, but I love ***** to much to only have 1 for the rest of my life... honestly, after 3 months or so of the same girl, I NEED a new girl... she could be the freakiest, kinkiest girl ever, but still need variety .. And although I would obviously love it if I was the only guy she ******, I can't be angry/upset if it isn't...

 

[denksss]

If you want our opinion we need pics of your current girlfriend and  your ex

 

[Tony $now]

The double standards.....


We all want a good girl, someone who is loyal.


Yet you ***** *** ****** can't reciprocate.

This sounds like a case of a dude who always needs a girl because they are insecure but don't want the responsibilities of being a man

QFT best responses in this thread. OP if your girl was out searching and pursuing the D if you care about her as much as you say, you would be crushed. Be a man, make a decision, live with the consequences

 

[paulprince3730]

BS

 

[ksteezy]

Been waiting on pics since last year

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

Wow it really is 2014 and still no pics

Been waiting on pics since last year

 

[scarsorscabs]

Love and sex are not always mutually inclusive, that should answer the question of how a man won't stay single if he wants multiple women. Men want something stable at home but want the option of being a stray. I commend OP for being honest tho, I'd say most men cheat or will cheat if the moment were right. At least he isn't beating around the bush.

Uh, I haven't read the whole thread but how's he being honest? Did he let his girl know that he's gonna cheat? I mean, telling a message board really means nothing, that's not being honorable.

Also, are there actually attractive, respectable females willing to do be a part of this fantasy open relationship some of y'all covet? I have a feeling there's probably one out there, good luck.

 

[combo gd]

 

 

 

The research is saying that monogamy is the relationship practice that yields the least amount of issues, not me. 

Just think how hard it is for two people to successfully have a monogamous relationship. You don't think it would be even harder for two people to be in a polyamorous relationship, and each of them having two other people they needed to make happy simultaneously? 

Can you post a link to this research? Cuz the way you're explaining it so far doesn't seem anything more than an opinion.

I actually just did a 40 page paper on this very topic as the capstone assignment for my degree, and there are multiple resources that explain this and come to this conclusion. I'm not going to dig up PSYCHinfo articles to win a NT debate. 

Just look at things like this... 

You have a relationship with Becky. Your polyamorous agreement is working fine. She doesn't care that you have sex with Michelle or Tammy. You don't care that she has sex with Jabari or Mustafa. But Mustafa knows about you, and asks Becky who is her preferred sexual partner. Becky tells Mustafa that while her and him have a better emotional connection, she has a better physical connection with you.

Now even though the lines are drawn and everyone knows the situation, Mustafa begins to get jealous. Mustafa's self esteem begins to suffer, and he begins to be envious of you. Little do you know that he has done a 4 year bid for manslaughter, and still has a short temper. You now have a problem. 

Meanwhile, Tammy begins to tell you that since she loves to have sex with you, she wants to do it more. One time a week is just not enough. She begins to pressure you for more time, showing up at your job, and telling Michelle and Becky that she needs you more. Friction between the women occurs, and all sorts of other issues arise. Tammy also dates Jamal, who hears about all of the issues that are going on. Now Jamal LOVES Tammy, so he is devastated that she wants to be with you more. Jamal is a MMA fighter with a short temper and is always looking to taste blood. You now have another set of problems. 

I could go on, and on, and on.

Do you see what I mean? Everything seems cool at first, but there are so many factors that could make things go wrong. Eventually it becomes too much to handle, and people revert back to more traditional relationship practices. 

 

[kingkoopa]

Been waiting on pics since last year

 

[sea manup]

 

 

 

 

The research is saying that monogamy is the relationship practice that yields the least amount of issues, not me. 

Just think how hard it is for two people to successfully have a monogamous relationship. You don't think it would be even harder for two people to be in a polyamorous relationship, and each of them having two other people they needed to make happy simultaneously? 

Can you post a link to this research? Cuz the way you're explaining it so far doesn't seem anything more than an opinion.

I actually just did a 40 page paper on this very topic as the capstone assignment for my degree, and there are multiple resources that explain this and come to this conclusion. I'm not going to dig up PSYCHinfo articles to win a NT debate. 

Just look at things like this... 

You have a relationship with Becky. Your polyamorous agreement is working fine. She doesn't care that you have sex with Michelle or Tammy. You don't care that she has sex with Jabari or Mustafa. But Mustafa knows about you, and asks Becky who is her preferred sexual partner. Becky tells Mustafa that while her and him have a better emotional connection, she has a better physical connection with you.

Now even though the lines are drawn and everyone knows the situation, Mustafa begins to get jealous. Mustafa's self esteem begins to suffer, and he begins to be envious of you. Little do you know that he has done a 4 year bid for manslaughter, and still has a short temper. You now have a problem. 

Meanwhile, Tammy begins to tell you that since she loves to have sex with you, she wants to do it more. One time a week is just not enough. She begins to pressure you for more time, showing up at your job, and telling Michelle and Becky that she needs you more. Friction between the women occurs, and all sorts of other issues arise. Tammy also dates Jamal, who hears about all of the issues that are going on. Now Jamal LOVES Tammy, so he is devastated that she wants to be with you more. Jamal is a MMA fighter with a short temper and is always looking to taste blood. You now have another set of problems. 

I could go on, and on, and on.

Do you see what I mean? Everything seems cool at first, but there are so many factors that could make things go wrong. Eventually it becomes too much to handle, and people revert back to more traditional relationship practices. 

i get what you're saying but that whole situation seems like something out of an eminem song 

 

[deadstockornot]

Not married = you ain't married

Werd

 

[Chiron]

 
I actually just did a 40 page paper on this very topic as the capstone assignment for my degree, and there are multiple resources that explain this and come to this conclusion. I'm not going to dig up PSYCHinfo articles to win a NT debate. 

Just look at things like this... 

You have a relationship with Becky. Your polyamorous agreement is working fine. She doesn't care that you have sex with Michelle or Tammy. You don't care that she has sex with Jabari or Mustafa. But Mustafa knows about you, and asks Becky who is her preferred sexual partner. Becky tells Mustafa that while her and him have a better emotional connection, she has a better physical connection with you.

Now even though the lines are drawn and everyone knows the situation, Mustafa begins to get jealous. Mustafa's self esteem begins to suffer, and he begins to be envious of you. Little do you know that he has done a 4 year bid for manslaughter, and still has a short temper. You now have a problem. 

Meanwhile, Tammy begins to tell you that since she loves to have sex with you, she wants to do it more. One time a week is just not enough. She begins to pressure you for more time, showing up at your job, and telling Michelle and Becky that she needs you more. Friction between the women occurs, and all sorts of other issues arise. Tammy also dates Jamal, who hears about all of the issues that are going on. Now Jamal LOVES Tammy, so he is devastated that she wants to be with you more. Jamal is a MMA fighter with a short temper and is always looking to taste blood. You now have another set of problems. 

I could go on, and on, and on.

Do you see what I mean? Everything seems cool at first, but there are so many factors that could make things go wrong. Eventually it becomes too much to handle, and people revert back to more traditional relationship practices. 

But **** gon' be **** so I cculdn't blame Tammy

 

[Mark Antony]

Not married = you ain't married

Werd

I never get this. You plan cheating on your future wife mercilessly until you sign a piece of paper? That's gonna make a relationship better? Dudes wanna talk all this alpha **** about strength, dignity, honor and commitment but not to the woman who deserves it most. I do understand we're built differently though, some dudes can't help themselves. It's like those weed heads who think they can't function without it.

 

[da r entertainment]

Never seen so many dudes thirsting for pics of someone

 

[sea manup]

Never seen so many dudes thirsting for pics of someone

so you have never entered EVERY other relationship/girl related thread on NT? 

 

[da r entertainment]

Never seen so many dudes thirsting for pics of someone

so you have never entered EVERY other relationship/girl related thread on NT? 

Na, but if it's like this I will pass tho