elpablo21
Supporter
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Watching Andy Dalton try to play football is like watching your job get shipped out of town. I don’t know why he bothers anymore. He should quit and go to barber school or something.
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The team also brought in WR Denarius Moore. I predict all of Moore’s touchdown catches will come from Mohamed Sanu. Sanu is the best QB on this team by far.
Anyway, Marvin and Dalton are still here and will be forever. It’s like the Giants without the titles. The upside of this franchise, in its present incarnation, has already been maxed out. But they’ll keep going through the motions for the next five years with the same **** because Mike Brown is a s********* who got his stadium and his money and is fine with being just good enough.
This city’s three biggest exports are race wars, inedible chili, and Ickey Woods. Every white person in the metropolitan area is named Mack. The Florence Mall has a water tower that says FLORENCE Y’ALL because Cincy is spiritually part of the Deep South and is therefore the worst. The Bengals’ most famous player is Boomer Esiason, who is a flaming *******. I hate the Bengals.
Mike Brown’s head looks like an old testicle that has been slapping against the *** of Cincinnati Taxpayers for the past 30 years.
I can’t wait to watch Andy Dalton go 13-27 for 97 yards and 3 picks while AJ Green ponders the meaning of life after his next concussion because Dalton airmailed one 10 feet over his ******* head in front of a free safety in the annual first round playoff loss. The icing on the cake is when the camera pans to the sidelines to see Marvin Lewis, whose facial expression will once again match that of someone attempting to solve a long division problem after being out of school for 15 years.
Having Andy Dalton as your quarterback and Marvin Lewis as your head coach is like being in a loveless marriage that you’re too afraid to leave because you don’t know how you’ll pay the rent.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen commentators tell Bengals fans that they’re too harsh about Dalton’s playoff record and need to appreciate him.
**** the entire Brown family.
I saw our best player, A.J. Green, wearing socks and sandals in public last month.
John Oliver’s segment on publicly funded stadiums reminded the world how badly Mike Brown swindled Hamilton County. Who needs schools when you can build an ugly *** stadium with the county on the hook for holographic replay if it ever gets invented. Not only did it gouge the county for all time, but it’s also a monstrosity. It looks like a Soviet era bunker without a roof. Rather than built, it looks like it was ripped from some god-forsaken crack in the Earth, constructed by the hand of Satan himself. It’s only fitting that it’s named after Mike Brown’s father.
My puppy was neutered at the shelter. He humps one thing & one thing only: my Bengals blanket. He’s 2 now. He won’t let up.
Andy Dalton has more Celebrity Softball home runs (2) than Playoff touchdowns (1). Dalton should be jailed for the injury-riddled mess he is making of AJ Green’s career.
Paul Brown Stadium is so horrible that Ariana Grande chose getting her wisdom teeth pulled out over playing there.
Allegedly, Pac Man Jones has texted my sister’s friend on multiple occasions to meet up with him at a local pizza joint. She has shut him down every single time.
The only PPV event that WWE has ever held in Cincinnati was headlined by Kevin Federline.
In 2014, the Bengals (485,62 were outdrawn in attendance by the Single-A Dayton Dragons (573,709).
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-cincinnati-bengals-1725399813Did you know Bengals fans want AJ McCarron over Andy Dalton? They do! Because Bengals fans deserve what they have, which is nothing.
Don’t believe me? One of the reasons the “Who Dey Nation” (cringe appropriately) wants McCarron over Dalton is because McCarron is a better decision-maker. Here’s exhibit A of AJ McCarron: Decision-Maker Extraordinaire:
I’m not gonna say Andy Dalton is great but **** AJ McCarron forever.