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15 pages easily. lulz will be had. I'll post my story later.
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one day in our grown man bball league (less than a year ago) we're playin some rivals we closely beat a couple of times in prior conference finals. great squad with a bunch of dudes i have a lot of respect for.
anyway, for this game, they got this new dude on their squad. kinda big, real vocal (calls every foul, yells a lot...you know the type), playing physical like he's a fullback.
m the legs lookin like jerome bettis boxin the HEL
i'm smaller and quicker, so i pay a lot of attention to the way dudes play to try and get an edge up, so as one of our teammates is shooting free throws, i notice this new dude puts all his strength, might and legs into boxing his man out. i'm talkin about full on effort coming straight from the legs lookin like Jermome Bettis boxin the HELL out of whoever he's got.
anyway, a few plays later, free throws again but on his side of the court. he lines up next to me, takes one look at me, thinks he's gonna box the hell out of me (he's got probably 30 lbs and maybe 4 inches on me), but i know i'm just gonna step around him as soon as the shot goes up. shot goes up, i take a quick step left and this guy flies backwards, so i think i got some time. the ball bounces around for a second, i pull down the board...go up again and this dude lands on top of my head from the back as i'm in mid air. he's pissed that he didn't get to fullback box me so he thought he'd just land on my back to make it up. i still got my back towards him, regain my footing, stand up hard effectively shoving him off me and he pushes me hard from behind. i still have the ball in my hands so as i turn towards him, i throw the ball sidearm right into his face and it connects. he comes at me with his fists raised and i raise my fists ready to take this beating (hoping it doesn't go down)[[/ESIZ]/B], but everyone is around us so it gets broken up before it even begins. scorekeepers, league commish and both squads ran over to break it up. we both almost got kicked out of the league.
funny thing is, my wife was in the stands watching the whole thing...and she's this mean *** jamaican gyal...she actually stepped on court (other end) ready to knock this dude from behind [/SIZE](word to mark cuban).
hello monstar how ya beenNever caught the fade....I got dreads
If thangs got real I pop lead
- Truth
one day in our grown man bball league (less than a year ago) we're playin some rivals we closely beat a couple of times in prior conference finals. great squad with a bunch of dudes i have a lot of respect for.
anyway, for this game, they got this new dude on their squad. kinda big, real vocal (calls every foul, yells a lot...you know the type), playing physical like he's a fullback.
m the legs lookin like jerome bettis boxin the HEL
i'm smaller and quicker, so i pay a lot of attention to the way dudes play to try and get an edge up, so as one of our teammates is shooting free throws, i notice this new dude puts all his strength, might and legs into boxing his man out. i'm talkin about full on effort coming straight from the legs lookin like Jermome Bettis boxin the HELL out of whoever he's got.
anyway, a few plays later, free throws again but on his side of the court. he lines up next to me, takes one look at me, thinks he's gonna box the hell out of me (he's got probably 30 lbs and maybe 4 inches on me), but i know i'm just gonna step around him as soon as the shot goes up. shot goes up, i take a quick step left and this guy flies backwards, so i think i got some time. the ball bounces around for a second, i pull down the board...go up again and this dude lands on top of my head from the back as i'm in mid air. he's pissed that he didn't get to fullback box me so he thought he'd just land on my back to make it up. i still got my back towards him, regain my footing, stand up hard effectively shoving him off me and he pushes me hard from behind. i still have the ball in my hands so as i turn towards him, i throw the ball sidearm right into his face and it connects. he comes at me with his fists raised and i raise my fists ready to take this beating (hoping it doesn't go down)[[/ESIZ]/B], but everyone is around us so it gets broken up before it even begins. scorekeepers, league commish and both squads ran over to break it up. we both almost got kicked out of the league.
funny thing is, my wife was in the stands watching the whole thing...and she's this mean *** jamaican gyal...she actually stepped on court (other end) ready to knock this dude from behind [/SIZE](word to mark cuban).
HMMMMMMM sooooooo ur saying ur girl is more bout it bout it than u?
dont see how anyones race was relevant in your storyFreshman year of high school:
There was this black dude in my science class, reminded me a lot of my brother. I thought we were cool because we would play catch with a tennis ball before class started.
I didn't even make fun of his fake 10's (He had the Chicago ones with money and Spongebob on them). One day before class starts, we're sitting on our desks chopping it up with this mexican dude.
Out of NOWHERE, dude clutches his jean shorts, yelps "Oh ****" and sprints to the bathroom, which was in view of the classroom from where we were sitting. Dude comes back 10 minutes later, and the mexican dude and I ask him if he pissed his pants. He says "No" but fails to make up a credible excuse for what happened.
I spread the story around, not in a malicious way, but in a "You'll never guess wut happened in Molecular Biology today!" way. The next school week dude comes up to me in P.E. with a few of his boys, talmbout "Let's fade right here, you disrespected me and I never pissed my pants". I regale his boys (pause) with the exact story, and they're cracking up. Dude says he wants to 1v1 me even with like 4 of his boys there.
I say fine, go ahead and do what you gotta do.
He wants me to throw the first punch
Literally the next week, dude moves to Iowa or Ohio (I forget which).
Dude eventually comes back two years later, but acts like he doesn't know me
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSo corny how do you even catch a fade. That makes no sense.
like the time you left your girl when she got hit with a bottle of henny
Sounds like it
in this situation, yeah. i was tryin to play some ball...nothing more nothing less.
there's been times we've been back to back ready to throw down...there's been times i've had to pull her back...there's been times she's had to pull me back. we got each others back like that
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSo corny how do you even catch a fade. That makes no sense.
like the time you left your girl when she got hit with a bottle of henny
but yea im in the club flexin for the chicas, drippin wavey as hell. So i spot a group of thick chocolate mamis and i rush em all like my ****, yo nana.. . . NOW. A couple oblige but then one is like "AWW HELL NAW, HELL NAW" but i pays her no mind because i got a couple of her friends and im already trippin. So then i goes to leave with the girls and on the way out i seen the girl with a couple of guys, they were up to no good. Started makin trouble in my neighborhood, i got in one little fight and my mom got scared. She said you're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air. So i whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything i can say this cab is rare, but i thought naw forget it yo homes to Bel Air. I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and i yelled to the cab, yo homes smell ya later. I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
but yea im in the club flexin for the chicas, drippin wavey as hell. So i spot a group of thick chocolate mamis and i rush em all like my ****, yo nana.. . . NOW. A couple oblige but then one is like "AWW HELL NAW, HELL NAW" but i pays her no mind because i got a couple of her friends and im already trippin. So then i goes to leave with the girls and on the way out i seen the girl with a couple of guys, they were up to no good. Started makin trouble in my neighborhood, i got in one little fight and my mom got scared. She said you're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air. So i whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything i can say this cab is rare, but i thought naw forget it yo homes to Bel Air. I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and i yelled to the cab, yo homes smell ya later. I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
damb bruh that liquor gonna get u murked one day jkA few times, all involving alcohol (and the only times I've gotten aggressive while drinking):
- When I was 19 and heavily drinking tequilla, I punched a few teeth out of a suburban drug dealer's mouth. I drove to the party with a few guys talking about fighting some people that night (types of guys that never would) and I was drunk enough to get going too. Later that night, a couple of my friends were saying all sorts of **** to get me to fight this dude. Long story short, I eventually saw the dude standing face to face with a mutual friend of mine ready to throw down. The dealer had three guys behind him as back up to none, so I finally decided to punch the guy out.
I walked up to him like "what the **** is your problem?" then hit him square in the mouth with an overhand left. It went down way differently than I thought. The guy turtled up, blood was gushing out of his mouth, girls were screaming, and the police were called. My friends (also drunk and illogical) told me to run and they'd meet me at the 7-11. So I ran, realized I had no clue where a 7-11 was, and then started the 4 hour stumble home.
Apparently these guys drove around looking for me until a friend of a friend called them down. I was walking along the highway so I'm not sure how they didn't find me. Anyways, I was lucky because they would've beat the **** out of me, maybe permanently. In the end, all I ended up with was an $8,000 dental bill .
- One other time I was out of town for a friend's going away party. At the last bar we went to, some roided up little guy was staring me down and yelling **** from across the bar for apparently no reason. Maybe I had been hitting on his ex, but he appeared to be friends with the bouncers and was acting extra tough. I was super drunk and got really heated at this guy before I blacked out. Next thing I remember was taking balls off the pool table and whipping them against the wall. My friends made nice with the bouncers and dragged me out before someone beat my *** (one of the drunkest nights of my life and in no condition to fight). I was lucky because apparently some dude had thrown me down earlier and was going to stomp me out, but my friends pulled him off of me (I have no recollection of this).
- Another time I was at the bar with a couple of my friends that used to play on a rival HS basketball team. I caught up with them later in the night (again, very drunk) and noticed they were now with one of their old teammates I recognized. So I went up to the guy and said "I know you" and I guess got a little too close to his face. He went off like "you don't know me" (ala Maury) and wanted to fight me right there. Apparently I was laughing the guy off and trying to calm him down (don't really remember), but I guess our talk went on for about 5 minutes before he backed off. Good thing because the guy wasn't drinking, is a psycho, and apparently fights pro MMA now. I am 6'7" and big/athletic, and have lots of confidence in my fighting ability, but the guy is only a little shorter, just as big, and would've killed me in my condition.
SO I'm 15 hangin out at the mall with my punk *** friends and we're doin what little punk 15 year olds do at the mall, which is make fun of people we see that look different. Anyways there's this guy that looks like thisAnd we start clowning him, but not to his face of course, from kinda far away. He sees and overhears us makin fun of him and comes straight towards us and singles ME out. Up close, this dude looks all methed out and scary as hell. He looks like a 38 year old white gangster prison junkie. He threatens to beat my *** and word to his moms he's gonna murder me and rape my friends. I was legit scared and it shut me right the hell up. Didn't eem wanna chill at the mall anymore. Made my homies mom com pick us up hahahaaha
CLIFFS
*Talked trash to a fake gangster with my friends
*We weren't about that life
*Almost caught a fade
Ok so... My cousin just moved to a new apartment (Same complex, just a different location), so he tells about this girl who lives a few doors down... like "Bruh, this girl Toni so fine. She freaky...etc...." He just raving. So Im like ok cool. Gotta a lil freak on deck... I was in the 10th grade at the time so Im thirsty *** hell with my AJ 12 fusions on. so much struggle
I meet her, and I could tell off the bat she a bird... she was on house arrest, tats on da spine and belly.
We chillin... She tells me and my cuz to carry her to her house so she could throw some clothes so we can go walking. Im copping feels on the booty like a mug...
Anyway we walking and she says shes not wearing any panties, so I grab her basketball shorts to see for myself... she got mad but not foreal, just playful mad... you know how they do... we still walking, and mind you this is around the time Plies was hot so im hittin her with lyrics, she feelin it. im grabbin da booty. she grabbed my meat. everything is cool.
So we walking back to her house and she says she hungry, and I vividly remember me saying "Well I got something for you to suck on." **** got real. Her mood changed. So we get back to her house and me and my cuz chillin at the bottom of her porch.. all of a sudden. this big *** strong muscle ***** come out screaming at me "WHAT YOU SAY TO MY SISTER CUZ?"... word to
she in da background like"Tell him what you said." I look at my cousin like |I and look back at the ground...|I
I aint say a word. I go back to my cuz house and take a long nap
We all became cool later in the day, so it was cool. No hard feelings. I can laugh about it now tho