Post some funny stories Vol. ???

[ripfan816]

Ok so in 7th grade me and my friends are eating lunch and this kid who everyone makes fun of asks my friend for his roll so he gives it to him and after hefinishes it tells him that he licked it (no he actually didn't). This kid was so upset that he threw up on the spot on his lunch tray and everyone is justlike.

So I'm in the computer lab a couple weeks ago where you wear headphones and practice Spanish by talking to people. This dude I'm talking to is like"Oh man she's hot" so I say you shouldn't say stuff like that the teacher could be listening and he's says "She's hot too"just then the teacher says "You guys shouldn't be talking like that" and I just freeze with shock

at this dude because she heard the whole thing. Needless to I also got in trouble smh.

I'll think of more....

 

[sno nuff]

 

[air max 87]

Originally Posted by Sno Nuff

 

[flyny]

Wayne Brady's hairline
/thread

 

[shoehefner5]

nice way to start the thread.

 

[isyourollin]

Originally Posted by Sno Nuff

i sense a great fail.

 

[nktran001]

My freshmen year of high school, this guy would always throw paper at us. We always had a "paper war", and then it got played out. So then i lickedthis Jolly Rancher and had let it dry, wrapped it back up and gave it to him.

 

[withapassion]

Originally Posted by Nktran001

My freshmen year of high school, this guy would always throw paper at us. We always had a "paper war", and then it got played out. So then i licked this Jolly Rancher and had let it dry, wrapped it back up and gave it to him.

hahaha

 

[ballinamillion1]

Lol last week, I went to bed around 2 doing hw, and I got this discussion class that I go 10 mins late to everyday. For some reason my alarm clock rarely wakes me up so I wake up and see that the clock says 8:32, mind you, the class starts at 8:30 and It's a 10minute bus ride from my dorm to the building. So I bust out in some pajama bottoms and a hoodie and mismatched flip flops

. I brushed my teeth, then I ainteven bother to look at my face in the mirror

So I go outside and the grass is kind of wet, so I decide to take a shortcut down this hill, and I start walking and proceed to slip andfall and bust my $## and start rolling down the hill. Then I'm halfway down the hill on my behind and get up like , don't worryits ok, and I start walking some more and tripped down again and rolled to the bottom. I was like

at this point, and the only thing I think is like no onebetter had saw that %#!, and I look around and 2 ppl behind me looking. And I just ran to the bus stop got to class 20 mins late with mud stains all over, andfind out that I missed an attendance assignment by 2 mins!

 

[lex rockhead]

So today i ate alot. I came home and used the toilet. We now how to replace our toilet and a couple of pipes in the wall.

 

[alchemiss]

My funny stories most the time have to do with messing around,

But anyways..

I went to go to this girls crib that I was cool with who has a 3 year old kid.. She put him in his room and %$+* happened (this was at night btw).. I ended upstaying at her crib.. when I woke up in the morning to go to work her son was laying next to me in the bed.. I was like

I wanted to jump out the window.. I got ready as quickly as possible and ended upgetting to work like an hour early

 

[PatRiley]

one time on thanksgiving 76 million viewers watching the macy's day parade got rick roll'd

 

[hotshots24]

i was on the bus and mr "cool guy im hard gangster" guy walks on the bus with the loudest ghettoest music youll ever hear, and hes just soo"cool" he sits down and everyone stares at him because his headphones are blowing his head off, THEN everyone starts to hear "waiting fortonight ooooowowowow" i guess he accidentally had his ipod on shuffle or IONO but he tried to play it off as if it wasnt him and then reached in hispocket to change the song....i giggled.

 

[ripfan816]

Originally Posted by hotshots24

i was on the bus and mr "cool guy im hard gangster" guy walks on the bus with the loudest ghettoest music youll ever hear, and hes just soo "cool" he sits down and everyone stares at him because his headphones are blowing his head off, THEN everyone starts to hear "waiting for tonight ooooowowowow" i guess he accidentally had his ipod on shuffle or IONO but he tried to play it off as if it wasnt him and then reached in his pocket to change the song....i giggled.

 

[seventh letter]

Man the other day I went to eat at Wings N' Things. For some reason my friend persuaded me to sit right next to the window, soi'm sitting down and the lady brings my food, and all is good. Next thing you know a pack of bum/crack heads is coming around the corner. There was onetall one, one with a big %%* beanie on his head, a fat white girl (which they probably run ferocious trains on), and the last one was hella cracked out handsall swollen and whatnot. so they all walk right past the window.. everything is good.

Then all of a sudden the last _____ stopped and was looking at me through the window. He pointed at my food like, "**+%@ I know you gonna share" andhe was shaking his head up and down waiting for approval... I waved my hands like "hell no you ain't getting none of my food." I guess he thoughtI said come on or something, 'cause next minute he comes diddy boppin into the wings N things. He points at my food and mumbled some !$$$ that I didn'tunderstand.. and i'm like "nah man"... I felt like he was about to get gully and reach on my plate and grab a handfull so I shoved a breadstickin his hand to save the rest of my plate...this **+%@ wasn't happy with the breadstick.. so he starts sayin' celery-ce-ce-celery, (like what bum wantsto eat healthy) and i'm thinking to myself "this **+%@" so i'm like "nah man, go on"... he ain't budging.. dude is slobberingall over the place. NOT POPPIN'

So I give him the celery. and as he's about to leave another bum/crackhead comes trotting in like they hit the damn lottery, thankfully he came to get thatninja that was begging and not to get some food.

 

[ballinamillion1]

Originally Posted by seventh letter

Man the other day I went to eat at Wings N' Things. For some reason my friend persuaded me to sit right next to the window, so i'm sitting down and the lady brings my food, and all is good. Next thing you know a pack of bum/crack heads is coming around the corner. There was one tall one, one with a big %%* beanie on his head, a fat white girl (which they probably run ferocious trains on), and the last one was hella cracked out hands all swollen and whatnot. so they all walk right past the window.. everything is good.

Then all of a sudden the last _____ stopped and was looking at me through the window. He pointed at my food like, "**+%@ I know you gonna share" and he was shaking his head up and down waiting for approval... I waved my hands like "hell no you ain't getting none of my food." I guess he thought I said come on or something, 'cause next minute he comes diddy boppin into the wings N things. He points at my food and mumbled some !$$$ that I didn't understand.. and i'm like "nah man"... I felt like he was about to get gully and reach on my plate and grab a handfull so I shoved a breadstick in his hand to save the rest of my plate...this **+%@ wasn't happy with the breadstick.. so he starts sayin' celery-ce-ce-celery, (like what bum wants to eat healthy) and i'm thinking to myself "this **+%@" so i'm like "nah man, go on"... he ain't budging.. dude is slobbering all over the place. NOT POPPIN'

So I give him the celery. and as he's about to leave another bum/crackhead comes trotting in like they hit the damn lottery, thankfully he came to get that ninja that was begging and not to get some food.

Aww damn u got them runnin trains on celery now

 

[thugnificence]

Originally Posted by seventh letter

Man the other day I went to eat at Wings N' Things. For some reason my friend persuaded me to sit right next to the window, so i'm sitting down and the lady brings my food, and all is good. Next thing you know a pack of bum/crack heads is coming around the corner. There was one tall one, one with a big %%* beanie on his head, a fat white girl (which they probably run ferocious trains on), and the last one was hella cracked out hands all swollen and whatnot. so they all walk right past the window.. everything is good.

Then all of a sudden the last _____ stopped and was looking at me through the window. He pointed at my food like, "**+%@ I know you gonna share" and he was shaking his head up and down waiting for approval... I waved my hands like "hell no you ain't getting none of my food." I guess he thought I said come on or something, 'cause next minute he comes diddy boppin into the wings N things. He points at my food and mumbled some !$$$ that I didn't understand.. and i'm like "nah man"... I felt like he was about to get gully and reach on my plate and grab a handfull so I shoved a breadstick in his hand to save the rest of my plate...this **+%@ wasn't happy with the breadstick.. so he starts sayin' celery-ce-ce-celery, (like what bum wants to eat healthy) and i'm thinking to myself "this **+%@" so i'm like "nah man, go on"... he ain't budging.. dude is slobbering all over the place. NOT POPPIN'

So I give him the celery. and as he's about to leave another bum/crackhead comes trotting in like they hit the damn lottery, thankfully he came to get that ninja that was begging and not to get some food.

u got punked by a bunch of bums.

For Shame

 

[kam winston]

Originally Posted by Alchemiss

My funny stories most the time have to do with messing around,

But anyways..

I went to go to this girls crib that I was cool with who has a 3 year old kid.. She put him in his room and %$+* happened (this was at night btw).. I ended up staying at her crib.. when I woke up in the morning to go to work her son was laying next to me in the bed.. I was like

I wanted to jump out the window.. I got ready as quickly as possible and ended up getting to work like an hour early

Lord have mercy!

 

[seventh letter]

Nah it was one bum.. I think son had down syndrome

 

[seventh letter]

^Nah it was one bum.. I think son had down syndrome

 

[alchemiss]

seventh

Bums are ruthless

On the E train at like 9 am... I found a seat in one of the two seaters next to the doors sitting with this business dude. This bum comes walking over andI'm already like

. He was just standing over the guy next to me giving him the

for a good 5 minutes. The dude finally said "Give me that seat orI'll break your face" I wanted to laugh so hard and the guy next to me was shook as hell like "w-w-w--what?" "You heard me, give methat seat or I'll break your f'in face". Dude got up, didn't even switch cars or anything and stood there like

...

Meanwhile crazy dude smelling like piss sat next to me and I was afraid to get up because I thought he was gonna start some +%!+ with me. That was probablythe longest train ride of my life

 

[ripfan816]

Seventh

I got another:

This kid was showin this other dude what some teacher did to him so he went to grab dudes wrist just as he was takin a drink of his choco milk
and spilled it all down his white tee And like the 7 of us around start crackin up and ole dude gets up and dips lol. The guy with his milky shirt just satthere
in awe then got up and tried to start a fight lol

 

[derrock]

Alright, so in one my my classes last year, we all had those individual desks with the seats attached, and the desks surrounded the room like a rectangle.
Anyways, this guy that was sitting next to my friend dropped his pencil. My friend is sort of a bigger dude (NH), like he can play linebacker or something.
So the guy drops the pencil, and my friend tries to pick it up, but instead he TIPS OVER in his individual desk, and was on his side while stuck in the desk.

The whole class starts laughing, but I was cracking up. My friend then proceeds to try to get up while stuck in his desk, and tips over again to his other sideand ends up in the middle of the classroom.

At this point, the class was laughing their %## off, and me and my other friend were dying.
After all that, one of the desk legs was bent funny. And when the class quieted down, the teacher had the nerve to say "If you do something like thatagain, I'm calling your mom."

Good times, man. Its all good now, because me and that dude still laugh about it today.

Cliff Notes:
Friend falls while stuck in individual desk
Friend falls again while in desk, ends up in the middle of the classroom
Teacher says she'll call his mom if he does that again.

 

[ripfan816]

 

[antbanks81]

My freshmen year there was a raffle for a dreamcast (yeh it was long ago) I called my guy from an RA phone with disguised voice and told him he won. Dude showsup at the student union ready to claim the prize geeked. I told him he was lying. He ended up betting me $20 that he did win. Finally the director told himthey had already given it to the winner and didn't know why he got called. My man was mad salty. Everybody said I should give him the money back but thatwas a NEGATIVE. I laughed my %+% off for years.