the thread about nothing...

[darthska]

Folks want to say they live in a free country then make up a bunch of rules and causations to live by. Weird to me.

Examples?
I'm curious if you're talking about rules... or guidelines & suggestions.

 

[tr1ll]

Absolutely.
That has nothing to do with wanting to hold hands on a first date, though.
The inverse has nothing to do with the original thought in this situation.

Actually it does. If you down to smash on the first date, what the hell you look like worrying about holding hands?

 

[darthska]

If you down to smash on the first date,

Good, you're back to the first date & holding hands thought experiment, which has nothing to do with 4 months down the road.
I know a twist can be applied to make it seem like the '4 months down the road' comment applies, but it would be a twist/reach.

what the hell you look like worrying about holding hands?

I wouldn't do either, but the logic is simple if you're actually trying to understand a different perspective (which I'm aware people seldom do online):
For many, holding hands is intimate, and bordering on SOME level of commitment whereas sex is... not that. At all.

 

[tr1ll]

Examples?
I'm curious if you're talking about rules... or guidelines & suggestions.

"I wont hold hands on the first date."
"She shouldn't smash on the first date"

To me this is where all that "patriarchy" talk come from. All those "rules, guidelines and suggestion"...ALL them **** comes from male insecurity. You take that out, you realize none of that stuff actually matters. They're all because some dudes doesn't want to get embrassed by another dudes whose opinion doesn't even really matter.

 

[tr1ll]

The real question is, outside of doom and gloom have you ever really thought about your own perspective?

 

[maq25060]

Actually it does. If you down to smash on the first date, what the hell you look like worrying about holding hands?

In this day of age, smashing is more about fulfilling a physical need of both parties.

Holding hands may be a physical need for some, but I'd think most would view this as some sort of established emotional connection or desire...which sounds wild for the 1st date.

But, end of the day, it's just a physical act...just like smashing. So I get where you coming from.

 

[darthska]

some dudes doesn't want to get embrassed by another dudes whose opinion doesn't even really matter.

There's definitely an element of "Gotta look cool for the fellas", and also an element of "Fellas, learn from my mistakes."

 

[maq25060]

For many, holding hands is intimate, and bordering on SOME level of commitment whereas sex is... not that. At all.

This is true, for sure. But I find the folks who don't view sex as intimate and a level of commitment to be further on the weirdo scale than those who would hold hands on the 1st date.

 

[maq25060]

I'd be interested in the yes and nos of physical interactions for the first date for men.

Hold hands?
Hand on thigh?
Arm around?
Lock arms while walking?
**** inside?

 

[darthska]

The real question is, outside of doom and gloom have you ever really thought about your own perspective?

I don't know if you're asking me personally or if you're asking in general, but I constantly re-tool my own perspective.
30 years ago I was a conservative who legit thought that women are just biologically more emotional and can't lead because of that, and homosexual activity doesn't exist anywhere in nature and is therefore biologically flawed.
Now I am far more informed on all of those fronts.
And still learning/tweaking my own perspective.

 

[darthska]

I find the folks who don't view sex as intimate and a level of commitment to be further on the weirdo scale than those who would hold hands on the 1st date.

I can see that.
I'm not sure you know all of the people in your life who view sex detached from commitment, though. It's a lot.
And I'm sure you do know all the people in your life who would hold hands on a first date. I wouldn't think it's a lot.

 

[had pants]

 

[darthska]

#orange

 

[Bronson]

This gif