What are your issues with child support. Fair or unfair.

[johngotty]

does the system have its flaws? Yes.

But is it necc.? Yes.

Do remember that the laws vary by state. Here in TN, they adjusted so that it's based off the combined income of both parents, not just the non-custodial parent's. Also, the amount decreases significantly for each child after the first child so a woman can't exactly bank on "having babies and doing nothing" as many people are saying.

And whoever said something to the effect of "if they're aren't together a man shouldn't be forced to pay" = the reason why the system was set up. You can't punish the child just b/c you happen to not to be w/the mother.

 

[mytmouse76]

How many of you know women with absolutely no job living off of child support. Not stories you heat but actually know these women? Any woman I've ever known to receive support actually do work. I can't say if they collect any type of government assistance but I know along with the money they recieve from the child's father they work.

That said there are definitely a lot of unfair CS situations out there. I met a guy where his ex was getting 51% of his check and trying to get him to pay for child care even tho her job reimbursed her for it. I was disgusted listening to him tell me that.

The system definitely needs a fax but I have no clue what that fix is.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by debs 168

smh in disgust at some of you. As a person that comes from a single parent household, that had an able bodied father that chose to !%%* every !#*@%, have multiple kids outside of the marriage, that chose to be a deadbeat dad...

!%%* you.

My mother worked her $!% off, struggled and sacrificed for me while his $!% did what he wanted.

A lot of you don't understand the struggle of some of these women out there and the sacrifices they make.

I don't see your point, I was raised by a single mother and my father was pretty much a deadbeat but how can someone sit there and argue that child support isn't biased and abused--If I had children and I made more money than the mother I should have the right to be the main caregiver of my own kids and I shouldn't have to send her some ridiculous amt of money every month


There are other ways a man can care for his children without relegating a certain amount of money to the mother, I guess what i'm tryna say is if the money is really for the children the mother should be cut out of the equation so to speak-There should be an INDEPENDENT party responsible for making sure the money is used for the children which from my experience is not always the case

 

[harm]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Depends on a case by case basis,

But the majority of what I've seen involves chicks using kids as meal tickets because they didn't want to work.

The system is biased towards women and dudes need to know the legality of CS.

this
I know women who are on both sides of that fence

Moreso women who just use their kids as a come up or some sort of weapon against the fathers who wants to be there

And also some who needs it cuz their BD don't do @$+@ at all

I'm lucky not to be on CS , cuz I'm in my sons life and handle my business .. 

But my ex Other BD is a *@#%%#$ deadbeat for real , so I can see why she takin' him to CS

It's really case by case  ,  but the system is automatically gear towards women .. As a man if you don't have a good lawyer , your +@% is food 

 

[TipsyMcStagga]

It's definitely unfair to the guy in 80% of the cases. I feel in order for a woman to receive court mandated CS, they should atleast hold a full time job as well. The laws are kind of archaic. Women always wanna scream that "independent" crap until they see a way to get free $$ out of a dude. Now I'm not saying the laws should be abolished but they definitely need an overhaul. One of these news reporters should do an expose' on this. Any woman find cheating the system should be subjected to jail time and/or fines.

The biggest problem I have is once they jail a dude for non payment, he more than likely loses his job because they make you do a year and a day if you don't have all the $$. Lost of job plus incarceration equals not being able to pay it anyways. I know tonssss of dudes who went through that. Not to mention they don't account a man's living expenses when doing the calculations which is absurd!

I feel that any support money should be placed on a card sorta like EBT and women can only use it for things like clothes, food, etc for the kids. Not for things like new club outfits, personal cell phone bills, and nail/hair appointments! Just my opinion of course...

 

[ruxxx]

I agree with Anton.
I come from a single parent household too if it matters.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by KOD843

It's definitely unfair to the guy in 80% of the cases. I feel in order for a woman to receive court mandated CS, they should atleast hold a full time job as well. The laws are kind of archaic. Women always wanna scream that "independent" crap but until they see a way to get free $$ out of a dude. Now I'm not saying the laws should be abolished but they definitely need an overhaul. One of these news reporters should do and expose' on this. Any woman find cheating the system should be subjected to jail time and/or fines.

The biggest problem I have is once they jail a dude for non payment, he more than likely loses his job because they make you do a year and a day if you don't have all the $$. Lost of job plus incarceration equals not being able to pay it anyways. I know tonssss of dudes who went through that. Not to mention they don't account a man's living expenses when doing the calculations which is absurd!

I feel that any support money should be placed on a card sorta like EBT and women can only use it for things like clothes, food, etc for the kids. Not for things like new club outfits, personal cell phone bills, and nail/hair appointments! Just my opinion of course...

All great ideas, let my opinions in this thread not be misconstrued as me NOT supporting child support cause I could've definitely used that money growing up and it could've taken some weight off my hard working mother

But there definitely needs to be a way to monitor were a man's funds go-School fees, clothing for the children, food etc not to get the mother's weave and nails done

 

[debso]

Honestly, I know way more ppl that have dead beat dads than I do females living off of welfare with cs assist. And I'm sure most of u do too, but whatever. I'm typing on my iPhone which makes it mad tedious to respond to this thread but when I get back on the computer, I definitely will.

IMO it seems like a lot of ppl here are more concerned with their paychecks and saying/doing things to the BM out of spite rather than think about their children.

 

[scshift]

I don't have an opinion on it. I think if you're going to have a child or potentially have one, you should be responsible and have it with someone you actually care about and when the time is right for both of you.

The child suffers more than both parents cause they're missing one parent while the other one is just cashing in. Besides, it must suck as a child to know that the only reason you were created was cause your dad only liked your mom for sex and now they don't even care about each other and you were never even meant to be born.

 

[debso]

It's typical dead beat dad talk:

a. I don't want her spending money on another @%#@!.
b. I don't want her spending money on weave, nails, etc.

meanwhile %++@$% the first in line spending money on another *@%*% and her kids while their child never hears from them, never sees them and never sees a dime from them.

those of u that come from single parent households that had deadbeat fathers...so your moms beat the system and was screwing your father's wallets? Oh ok. I get it.

 

[soltheman]

I'm torn. My mother received child support until I was 18. Without it, we would have been in trouble.

But being in that situation, I saw how it can be exploited. My dad was paying at least $1000/month and I barely saw ANY of that money. Granted, there are bills to be paid and I would have understood if that's all my mother spent it on. But it wasn't. Rent wasn't more than $700 for our little apartment on the south side. She would be going out, drinking, smoking, tricking on her dates and all that on my dad's dime. Any time I wanted a new toy, I'd have to ask my dad because my mom had already spent that money on something stupid.

One time I asked her to balance out the finances to show me where all that money went. She refused, saying it was her money. And I was sitting there like "$$!+*, if it wasn't for me your broke *%% would be working two or three jobs to support your lifestyle."

Overall, I think it's necessary that the father of the child contribute something, if possible, until the child doesn't need it anymore (let's just say until 18.) However, with that, the father should have rights to custody (this is assuming there's no history of abuse,) and the child should be able to get a portion of that money by law. And some of the amounts that people are told to pay are absolutely ridiculous. That needs to be checked to (e.g. Kelis and Nas.)

 

[caponecartels]

Originally Posted by AR Guy

First and foremost men should be able to go to court and challenge the paternity of the child and if he is found out to be not the father he should be released from all financial obligation. Texas just recently passed this as law and it is a long time coming.

Second all CS money should go into a bank account that can be viewed by both parties online. The money can only be spent via a bank card issued by the bank. Also is requested the man paying CS should be able to basically audit the mother if he feels the purchases she makes are suspicious. This would force the mother to only purchase items need for the child and not on stuff for her. Even if the mother spends all the money for groceries the father can request a receipt of the items purchased to make sure the mother didn't spend it on things for herself such as alcohol, cigs, hell even feminine products. It's CHILD support not baby momma support. If it is determined that the mother spent money on products for herself she must deposit the money that was deemed a not for child expense into the child's savings within 30 business days or a portion of the next months payment will be automatically sent to the savings account. All money not spent for that month is automatically transferred into a savings account for the child that only the child can access once their 18 and the father no longer has to pay. If the mother constantly buys product for herself with the money each month and the court agrees with this than the payments that the father pays each month will go down because it is obvious from the mothers actions that the child does not need the money. If it gets bad enough the child can be removed from his mother's custody.

Also if the women is receiving any type of government assistance, the burden put on the father should be reduced. Anything from WIC, food stamps, subsidized housing, whatever but if she decides to feed off the governments teet than you will lose a little bit of that money.

Lastly if the mother is found to be constantly abusing the CS, not providing the documents it will show negligence in the courts eyes and help the father if he wishes to gain custody of the child.

Perfect post.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by debs 168

It's typical dead beat dad talk:

a. I don't want her spending money on another @%#@!.
b. I don't want her spending money on weave, nails, etc.

meanwhile %++@$% the first in line spending money on another *@%*% and her kids while their child never hears from them, never sees them and never sees a dime from them.

those of u that come from single parent households that had deadbeat fathers...so your moms beat the system and was screwing your father's wallets? Oh ok. I get it.

These are legitimate concerns I work damn hard for my money and I don't want it being wasted---If I had kids I would literally DIE for them, but I'll be damned if any of the sacrifices I make go to satisfying someone else's selfish needs

Yea because that's farfetched

 

[capricorn1229]

Originally Posted by debs 168

It's typical dead beat dad talk:

a. I don't want her spending money on another @%#@!.
b. I don't want her spending money on weave, nails, etc.

meanwhile %++@$% the first in line spending money on another *@%*% and her kids while their child never hears from them, never sees them and never sees a dime from them.

those of u that come from single parent households that had deadbeat fathers...so your moms beat the system and was screwing your father's wallets? Oh ok. I get it.

well there we go. put all the %%$+ on the table.

 

[solefood229]

The system is flawed especially when it comes to custody its damn near impossible for a dude to get custody of his seed,


The CS argument can go both ways, dudes need to stop bussin in rats, and chick's need to stop letting bum $%+ Jermaine from down the rd hit raw


It's alot of dead beats out there not trying to take care of their kids,

On the flip side, I got a homeboy that pay $600 a month for one child, and we he get his visitation every other weekend his daughter hair is nappy, clothes dirty, kicks busted etc. My dude takes her shopping every time he gets her, what's even more @@+@!% is when the BM sends his daughter for the weekend she only sends her with the clothes she has on

 

[debso]

I'm not saying it's far fetched or it isn't. How many ppl in this thread that come from single parent households that had deadbeat dads and are downing females in general when it comes to this issue had a mom that lived off of
Child Support??

Had a mother on welfare that didn't want to work?

Had a mother that spent their child support money on themselves and not you?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

debs 168, let me give you a scenario. My man, that I grew up with, had a child with a woman. They are no longer together but he literally has his son 5/7 days per week. For whatever reason, she still took him for CS. This pissed dude off because he was like, what more can I do? I have this child practically living with me, and she STILL pulls this stunt.

So she got awarded the victory. He has to pay child support to this son that "lives" with him.

Do you think he has a legit gripe when it comes to what is actually done with this money?

 

[ladyexpensive]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

debs 168, let me give you a scenario. My man, that I grew up with, had a child with a woman. They are no longer together but he literally has his son 5/7 days per week. For whatever reason, she still took him for CS. This pissed dude off because he was like, what more can I do? I have this child practically living with me, and she STILL pulls this stunt.

So she got awarded the victory. He has to pay child support to this son that "lives" with him.

Do you think he has a legit gripe when it comes to what is actually done with this money?

If he doesn't live with him he doesn't live with him ... even if he does have him 5/7 days a week.

The mother still has to have the 2-3 bedroom apartment,  as well as necessities for the child.

Just because he spends time with him doesn't mean he shouldn't have to pay anything.

Kids can't live off of time spent..

[table][tr][td]
[/td][td]child support - court-ordered support paid by one  to the other who has custody of the children after the parents are separated[/td][/tr][/table]

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by debs 168

I'm not saying it's far fetched or it isn't. How many ppl in this thread that come from single parent households that had deadbeat dads and are downing females in general when it comes to this issue had a mom that lived off of
Child Support??

Had a mother on welfare that didn't want to work?

Had a mother that spent their child support money on themselves and not you?

I'm not downing females, my mother in my eyes is the greatest human being that has EVER lived on this planet--she has been everything to me, my mother, my father, my friend, and my mentor and most people cannot endure the things she has been through to raise me and my siblings

If a mother expects child support, it should be closely monitored where the funds of said support go--many people in this thread have had ideas on how to approach this and I don't think it is too much to ask for

 

[GTA 809]

Originally Posted by LadyExpensive

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

debs 168, let me give you a scenario. My man, that I grew up with, had a child with a woman. They are no longer together but he literally has his son 5/7 days per week. For whatever reason, she still took him for CS. This pissed dude off because he was like, what more can I do? I have this child practically living with me, and she STILL pulls this stunt.

So she got awarded the victory. He has to pay child support to this son that "lives" with him.

Do you think he has a legit gripe when it comes to what is actually done with this money?

If he doesn't live with him he doesn't live with him ... even if he does have him 5/7 days a week.

The mother still has to have the 2-3 bedroom apartment,  as well as necessities for the child.

Just because he spends time with him doesn't mean he shouldn't have to pay anything.

Kids can't live off of time spent..

[table][tr][td]
[/td][td]child support - court-ordered support paid by one  to the other who has custody of the children after the parents are separated[/td][/tr][/table]

you either dont understand dc's scenario, or you must be kidding/trolling. 
The kid lives with his dad 5+ days a week. Because the kid lives with his mom the other 2 or so days the dad should pay child support? Is this what you are really saying?

 

[dathbgboy]

I think it's necessary. No way a dude who doesn't wanna take care of his responsibilities should get off clean. However, it should be monitored and be screened so that these moochin huzzies don't get a free ride like they do w/ every other govt. assistance.

All of you saying it should be on a bank or EBT card, while it makes a good point, it would only work if the woman couldn't buy somethin then return it w/ the receipt so she can get the cash back. We all use this when we wanna get rid of gift cards and things of that nature. It would require a monthly or bimonthly audit.

All in all, the system will never be changed unless there is protest and clearly there isn't and won't be.

 

[ladyexpensive]

Originally Posted by blackngold1z

Originally Posted by LadyExpensive

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

debs 168, let me give you a scenario. My man, that I grew up with, had a child with a woman. They are no longer together but he literally has his son 5/7 days per week. For whatever reason, she still took him for CS. This pissed dude off because he was like, what more can I do? I have this child practically living with me, and she STILL pulls this stunt.

So she got awarded the victory. He has to pay child support to this son that "lives" with him.

Do you think he has a legit gripe when it comes to what is actually done with this money?

If he doesn't live with him he doesn't live with him ... even if he does have him 5/7 days a week.

The mother still has to have the 2-3 bedroom apartment,  as well as necessities for the child.

Just because he spends time with him doesn't mean he shouldn't have to pay anything.

Kids can't live off of time spent..

[table][tr][td]
[/td][td]child support - court-ordered support paid by one  to the other who has custody of the children after the parents are separated[/td][/tr][/table]

you either dont understand dc's scenario, or you must be kidding/trolling. 
The kid lives with his dad 5+ days a week. Because the kid lives with his mom the other 2 or so days the dad should pay child support? Is this what you are really saying?

DC said "HAS HIS SON" 5/7 days a week. That can mean picking him up for school, hanging with the child until 10pm and dropping him off back home.

He said "practically" lives, what does 'practically live' mean?

Either he does or he doesn't. And if it is how DC is saying, maybe the guy should be doing something more rather than complaining to a friend about it.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Dude picks his son up from his mother's house on Monday morning, takes him to school, picks him up from school, and the son sleeps at his house. This is through the week.

The son only sleeps at his mother's house is Fri-Sun.

Lady, I am not understanding what more the man can do? Complaining to a friend is all he is doing? I mean we talk so it comes up. Didn't know that was complaining but you got it.

So again, what more should he be doing?

 

[GTA 809]

Sounds like she should be giving him child support but we know that wont happen.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I think it's necessary. No way a dude who doesn't wanna take care of his responsibilities should get off clean. However, it should be monitored and be screened so that these moochin huzzies don't get a free ride like they do w/ every other govt. assistance.

All of you saying it should be on a bank or EBT card, while it makes a good point, it would only work if the woman couldn't buy somethin then return it w/ the receipt so she can get the cash back. We all use this when we wanna get rid of gift cards and things of that nature. It would require a monthly or bimonthly audit.

All in all, the system will never be changed unless there is protest and clearly there isn't and won't be.

Cliffnotes of everything I've said in here