Who said tha south don't have lyricist?!?!?!?

[chettaonjays]

A new track I recently recorded criticism & opinions are welcome go easy on me though nt I'm still new to this....


http//www.zshare.net/audio/618074132fbe118d/

 

[chettaonjays]

Anybody out there?

 

[Retroballer]

i felt like you went through a thesaurus and list listed of words
wasnt bad though
keep working at it

 

[hiphopdoc09]

decent. excellent vocab but don't try to hard to sound smart just cuz u from the south people will know if u just let it flow naturally. Stay Hungry.

 

[scotthallwithapick]

Over my head

 

[ahyoon chef]

Originally Posted by iHateTimeDotCom

nobody wanna hear this... u aint sayin nothin wit all them big words...u just using em... u sound like u wanna b a backpack rapper but dont know how to... u suck... goodbye

Damnnn haha

 

[the fresh king]

Originally Posted by RetroBaller

i felt like you went through a thesaurus and list listed of words
wasnt bad though
keep working at it

 

[frankdolla]

you def need to work on ridin the beat.. didn't like the hook at all.. but keep working..

 

[Original Playa Records]

Originally Posted by iHateTimeDotCom

nobody wanna hear this... u aint sayin nothin wit all them big words...u just using em... u sound like u wanna b a backpack rapper but dont know how to... u suck... goodbye

 

[dathbgboy]

Originally Posted by H TOWN HUSTLER

Originally Posted by iHateTimeDotCom

nobody wanna hear this... u aint sayin nothin wit all them big words...u just using em... u sound like u wanna b a backpack rapper but dont know how to... u suck... goodbye

And that's what we can expect from TIME

But yea, sound like u usin the big words for the sake of usin em.

 

[scotthallwithapick]

Dude sound like Homer when they took the crayon out of his brain

 

[noslickremarks]

Originally Posted by ScottHallWithAPick

Dude sound like Homer when they took the cartoon crayon out of his brain

Fixed

 

[dapper d]

I read the comments before I heard the song...when his verse started I lost it

...
Yeah man lose...the thesaurus for real...
I thought the chorus was cool though...

 

[b smooth 202]

the track didn't sound backpack to me. the vocab did seem kinda forced but it wasn't bad IMO...keep workin.

 

[orenthaljames]

Originally Posted by Chettaonjays

Who said tha south don't have lyricist?!?!?!?

Merriam Webster did.
-The Juice

 

[notoriuswes]

atleast time say what he feel.

 

[chettaonjays]

Lol bet I needed to hear every bit of that nobody around me told me that, I wasn't actually goin through a thesaurus I jus went with what I felt honestlyso it is what it is that was jus something dedicated to all tha ricky bobbies,hallie berries, kim kardashian trax and what not one of my boys told me to dumbit down but honestly I was like f*** it. Like I said I'm still new to this....so how about another one http://www.zshare.net/audio/618347227dba3a81/ I luv how nt holds no punches

Originally Posted by ScottHallWithAPick

Dude sound like Homer when they took the cartoon crayon out of his brain

u aint sayin nothin wit all them big words...u just using em


Thought I'd hear that from somewhere I'm not jus using them jus to be using them imo tha track had a meaning behind it but I'm glad you took itthat way bro

 

[scotthallwithapick]

I ain't feeling the 2nd song.

1) Weak sample which leads to you having a weak hook which makes me not wanna listen.
2) Your flow seemed a little lazy. Like you was rapping just cause a mic was near you.


But at least you stopped(except 3rd verse.) with the big words that don't add more depth to the song. My creative writing teacher always told me write toexpress not to impress. You seem to write to impress. Switch it up. Tell me the description of the painting you're drawing. Don't tell me what paintyou used.

 

[Master Zik]

Thought this thread would been about showcasing/suggesting another southern rapper not yaself but.....

I only listened cuz of the replies. I figured either way I would've got a laugh

So Dwill Tha Y.K. or D.Will Tha Young Kane, that's your rap name right? I've come across a lot of unusual and unorthodox rap names and Imma do you afavor. Although I usually don't say it(definitely think it tho) change ya rap name dog. Right now ya name sound like one of the rappers in M16's listwhen he's talking about 10 Mcs better than Biggie. When it comes to rap names you're either gonna have something memorable or you're gonna make itmemorable. After ppl hear ya music for the first time at the least they should leave with atleast remembering ya rap name. Make ya name something unique yetsimple for everybody, it don't gotta be flashy and catchy but not some multi-syllable shh. Just D.Will would be fine or something like that.

As for the song, I know what the words mean but I don't get why you packaged them like that. The first came off like everyone else said you just trying toput a bunch of words together I aint really catch what you were trying to say, just a bunch of unfinished thoughts. The 2nd verse was better, had a betterbalaance. The hook got tired after the first time tho, beat was good. If you want to bragg/show off ya vocabularly that's fine but do it the right way,also try to come off a little cocy in ya rhymes or have some type of attitude. Put feeling it don't let the listener think you just rapping to rap n youbored.

2nd song, really like the beat. You aint go hard enough. Sound like you was trying to give some message in that first verse but maybe here is where youcould've showed off your wit and superior venacular.

Keep trying you aint bad, just need work.

 

[sighfur]

Andre 3000 is the best rapper alive. He's from the South.

 

[j burner]

Originally Posted by ScottHallWithAPick

My creative writing teacher always told me write to express not to impress. You seem to write to impress. Switch it up. Tell me the description of the painting you're drawing. Don't tell me what paint you used.

Best advice in the thread.

 

[moeree5e]

im better than you....