YO! A homeboy of mine... came out...

[airant23]

YO! Peep the story...


Let me start off with the typical, "It don't matter to me." In fact, my godfather was a gay man so I've never been all that uncomfortablewith homosexuality. This particular homeboy of mine I've known for close to 6 years. I consider him my brother (for a number of reasons); but I had mydoubts the moment I met him. But we chopped it up - he said he wasn't gay. As far as I was concerned, he wasn't gay. I even called a few chics outtheir name for questioning his manhood.

Two days ago though, he decided to write a note on facebook about his current relationship and tag a few of us(homies from undergrad). So the past 2 days have been filled with a bunch of phone calls and text messages regarding the "situation."

Here's the issue:

Another homeboy of ours is getting married on April 4th. This particular dude (the gay guy) is the Best Man. The chic which he last had a relationship is aclose friend of the bride and will no doubt be in attendance. Homie is planning on bringing his partner. The feeling I'm getting from the Groom (and ourother homeboys) is why would he choose now to make such an announcement?


I plan on having a chat with him soon - after the initial "shock" rides out - and I'm wondering how I should address all of this. I already senthim a few messages giving him my support. Long as you happy, then I'm happy. Right? But should I question his timing? I definitely don't feellike it'd be fair for there to be attention paid to his sexual orientation on our other homie's wedding day. Should I mention any of the things thatour other friends are saying about him? Should I allow him to come down here and deal with whispers from the rest of the crew?


It's all bad, g.

DF!!!

 

[c0dyboy2222]

 

[mateen cleaves]

 

[thugnificence]

Originally Posted by AirAnt23

Right? But should I question his timing? I definitely don't feel like it'd be fair for there to be attention paid to his sexual orientation on our other homie's wedding day. Should I mention any of the things that our other friends are saying about him? Should I allow him to come down here and deal with whispers from the rest of the crew?

1. you should question his timing
2. he shouldnt do it at another person's wedding, that is taking the spotlight off of what it should be on.
3. Dont mention specifics, just tell him that he needs to talk to some of the people yall chill with
4. Yea he can come down there, but you should advise him not to come out at the wedding. its like he tryna steal the spotlight form them

 

[nine to five]

I'd definitely question his motives for his timing....seems like this whole issue could've been avoided, and things would've been easier for notjust everybody around him but he, himself.

...but then again nobody except him knows what he's goin through & his internal feelings so you can't be too quick to judge.....my bestfriendsolder brother (who I knew since middle school) came out his senior year in a suicide note.

 

[d723]

Well, a wedding is a terrible time for this mainly because it focuses attention away from the bride and groom. And yes there will be plenty of awkwardstares when it comes, my sister just experienced a similar situation this past June with one of her old dykin %++ softball teammates.

 

[mytmouse76]

i understand he wants to bring his man around but a wedding where a woman he dated will be there may not be the best place to start...but its not your place tosay cuz it ain't your wedding...

 

[kidufc]

hope you didnt show your penis to him as a joke. lol

 

[i drink your milkshake]

LIOLA

 

[airant23]

YO!

hope you didnt show your penis to him as a joke. lol
Naw, but one of the other homies was his roommate and track teammate. He said something about coming out the shower at the crib...

Pretty ignorant, but I can't speak on another man's comfort level with something like this.


DF!!!

 

[callhimar]

Honestly, thats a rough situation.

I understand what your friends are saying, but its possible that he felt that April was long enough for the situation to be settled in, and that itwouldn't end up taking away from the wedding.

How do your/his friends feel about it though? Are they going to treat him the same and everything? If so I don't see why there would be a problem. Yeah, itis close, but by the time April comes around everything should be somewhat normal. Honestly, whether he came out a year ago, or a month before the wedding, ifit isn't the norm with the people that are going to be attending the wedding, then it would still be an issue.

I think you and your friends need to all sit down and talk about it together though. Get everyone on the same page and hope for the best.

 

[gunna get it]

Oooohhh six!
Nah lemme stop.
I understand he is gay and maybe a few of yall are comfortable wit it but why would he wait til yall dawgs special wedding day to flaunt tha around and make asideshow of things.
Homie got bad timing. Since he ya boy tell him do "this" on another occasion

 

[phillypg1]

Bad,bad timing and he is a selfish %*!#*#% for doing so.It doesn't matter how much you and your boys try and disregard it like its a non issue and act likeits not a big deal.The reality is that its gonna be on everybody's mind thus diverting attention away from your friends wedding day, which is not fair atall and is !#%#%! up.

 

[scotthallwithapick]

Thats the groom and bride's decision. But I do think his timing is bad

 

[mh602]

Dude just needed to get it out there so when he shows up at the wedding with a man everyone will be prepared especially that chic. Its actually better thisway, it might have caused a scene if he just showed up unexpectedly with a dude.

 

[mytmouse76]

if this man is around Ant's age think about how long he's been holding it in...it may seem like bad timming but maybe he couldn't hold it inanymore...or he's just a drama queen...

 

[club29]

Has he shown past signs of being gay?

 

[queencitysneakerqueen]

April is approaching fast hopefully this situation blows over or doesn't escalate and ruin homeboys wedding...maybe you should try to persuade him not tobring his partner to the wedding

 

[airant23]

YO!

LIOLA
The homie "N.J." seems more disturbed than me, sweetheart.

he is a selfish %*!#*#% for doing so.
That's the most legit issue I've heard from everyone. A lot of sideways talk about how they feel, not thinking about how he may'vefelt dealing with that secrecy on every road trip. Or when we was putting him on to chics at the parties. But I can understand the Bride and Groom feeling alittle tight.

Oooohhh six!

He's my LB.

if this man is around Ant's age think about how long he's been holding it in

DF!!!

 

[phillypg1]

No he could of waited screw that...was it that important to come out right before the wedding, and announce to the world your gay over the internet?

Just wants to cause a scene/sideshow by bringing the guy who is beating his cheeks in to the wedding.

I hate selfish +@#! like that.

 

[mytmouse76]

lol...i'm sorry Ant...i didnt mean it like that...just that he went through much of his young adult life hidding who he is...seems selfish to ya'll buti'm sure its a relief to him...

 

[frankie valentino]

I smell a Tyler Perry movie, "Madea's big gay friend".

 

[forgot about jae]

ayo

 

[i drink your milkshake]

AirAnt23 wrote:

if this man is around Ant's agethink about how long he's been holding it in

DF!!!

 

[airant23]

YO!

Has he shown past signs of being gay?
He was never the most masculine dude. Small, frail bodied distance runner. But the girl he was with, I actually debated getting at. Wasn'tlike one of those pity situations. And he was giving her the business. And I know cause she'd tell me how they got down. The things she said they did hadme salty for real...


But not to step on toes... dude was Gospel Choir director. You know how them dudes get down.

DF!!!