You Ever Hear the one About the Pharmacist?

[ak nako]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend thatafter dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's hisfirst time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family packbecause he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

 

[27th4thehood]

yea

 

[tootthatthang]

pretty good i seen it coming tho

 

[limitedretroog]

Heard it before, but still,

.

 

[zingy23]

good one

 

[tecca nena]

i lol'd

 

[lightweight champion]

A man and his dog walk into a bar at 10pm. After 15 total shots of Hennessey, Grey Goose, Remy, and 151 the dog passes out on the floor and the man stumblestoward the door on his way out.

The bartender says, "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!"

The man, belligerently, responds, "Don't be ridiculous, that's not a lion! That's my dog!"

 

[beatjunkie5]

haha, that gave me a good laugh...

 

[bkzkurse]

That joke was actually depicted in the movie - The Blob

 

[twig1026]

good one

 

[pharelfor3]

I like both jokes....

 

[parada45]

It was funny

Awkward for the boyfriend lol

 

[703 hwy]

I remember this but it was still a good morning laugh

 

[russ tha g]

Good stuff - made me chuckle in class.

 

[texasreppin713]

i didnt see that one coming

 

[putting in work]

Any more?

 

[bbanks707]

what the hell is a family pack of condoms . . . Ive always wondered why they need to call it that.

 

[kingjrmzair23]

i seen that coming... but a funny one.

 

[zen baller]

Originally Posted by bbanks707

what the hell is a family pack of condoms . . . Ive always wondered why they need to call it that.

I don't think any condom manufacturer refers to a larger packas a "family pack".
Here's my contribution. Don't like it? You must not be sophisticated.
A piece of rope walks into a bar, sits down in front of the bartender. The bartender asks "are you a piece of rope?" . The rope says"yes". The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve pieces of rope at this bar." The piece of rope then goes outside and beats himselfup, really does a number on himself, even ties himself in a knot. So he walks back into the bar with a knot in his midsection, he's all tattered andstarting to come unwound. He sits down, the bartender asks him, "are you a piece of rope?" .

The rope answers: "No, I'm a frayed knot."

 

[romeo0o]

good one, althought i saw it coming.

 

[airjzz]

I've got one!

First-year students at Texas A&M Vet School were receiving their first anatomy class with a dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with thebody covered with a white sheet.


The professor started the class by telling them, "In Vet Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you notbe disgusted by anything involving the animal body. To demonstrate, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrewit, and stuck it in his mouth.


"Now it's your turn," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a fingerin the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.


When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and suckedon my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid."

 

[cbass625]

good one about the rope, pretty good jokes so far. it gave me a giggle

 

[zen baller]

I've got another one:

Two college students are enrolled in the same ethics class. Their final exam is on a monday. On Friday, they decide to have a wild weekend in Atlantic city,and it's a 12 hour drive from campus. So they head down to AC, Friday night, gamble, drink, have a grand old time. Before they know it, it's sundaynight, they haven't studied, and they're just not ready to leave yet. So they decide they'll just blow off their final, and since the makeup examsaren't til the week after finals end, they'll have enough time to study. They send their professor an email telling him that they had to go back totheir hometown because a mutual friend of their's died, and that they got a flat tire on their way back sunday night and that's why they missed theirfinal. Their professor expresses his condolences, and they schedule a date for the makeup final the following week. The two students study dilligently theentire week leading up to the makeup exam, then go in, feeling completely prepared, and a little smug that they managed to outwit their professor. The studentsare seated in different rooms, each opens his exam to find just ONE question:

"Which tire?"

 

[russ tha g]

^ tire final exam is good. Hadn't heard that one before.

 

[diceloveme]

all of the jokes were good.