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You have no idea what you are talking about. You mentioning the Phoenix and Boston games prove that to me.
Do you not remember the game in the 08 finals where we are getting blown out and he refuses to even touch the ball?
Boston got into the big lead to start the 3rd.
He wasnt "refusing to touch the ball" his teammates werent even looking for him. He was basically a decoy to get the guys started and make a run. Which was probably the game plan at half.
But Boston just kept pouring it on.
Kobe started to be aggressive offensively in the middle of the 3rd when they were down by 30.