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Originally Posted by GreyFoxx

she didn't seem like much of a bad chick from what your story is saying but i can tell you're sugar coating it, eventually you're gonna hate the broad and realize everything you hate about her. thats exactly how i was at first, believing it was my fault and such on why me and my chick didn't last; sugar coating our breakup saying "oh she aint a bad chick and we had our share of problems like any other couple". now i see clearly it was her fault. its gonna be tough the first couple weeks but once you get past that you're good to go. F her. took me exactly 3 weeks to finally get over my chick of 1 year and 8 months.
touché...of course it's a little sugar coated. but yeah i feel where you're coming from, appreciate the response brah
 
Y'all can't view a break up as "someones fault" and wag the finger at only one person. It takes two, in all elements of the bond. Even if one person cheated on the other, certain reactions can be made to deal with situations better...always. It's all about maturing and learning and applying that to the process of dating. I've been cheated on and i've cheated, i'll tell you what - cheating felt 100x worse. You just gotta be understanding and show empathy even when %$$$ is over or you are really devaluing the experience and missing out on important growth.
 
yo when will yall begin to understand this?

we cant give advice with out pics

i mean we dunno what said girl looks like so we cant tell u whats best to do frm here
 
If she was really "ur girl" u would drop ur pride and go get that woman back,period.if your not willing to do that then that's you telling yourself she's not worth it.if that's the case keep it moving
 
Originally Posted by ajcollector9290

Originally Posted by AdobeCS4

Originally Posted by ajcollector9290

Originally Posted by AdobeCS4

She got a stiff one inside her right now and you crying on a message board.
2010 join date, 4300 posts 
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u stay patrollin these boards my g 
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4300 posts in 19 months while "your girl" is getting her face painted 
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lol homie took that 1 close to heart....niketalk ain't ever gon' dump me my g, ain't i right son? 
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Na, for real though where the pics
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Honestly, you shouldn't wait around for her or anything, just go out with your boys and find other girls to chill with.  She's probably gonna talk to other dudes, idk if they'll smash, but if she's single and drunk then her girls will be telling her to do all kinds of things 
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.  She might come back to you, but not after seeing what else is out there, so you should explore other options as well...
 
the time apart was/is to basically view her options, if she likes the freedom and meets another dude she ain't coming back. if she doesn't and lives miserably, she may come back. she uses that 'give me time' crap to somewhat hold onto you, and you can blatantly say a relationship is one persons fault or another, maybe @Troy Mclure can't but I can. ex. a girl cheats = her fault the outcome is her fault as well. Can't cheat and expect everything to be fine even with a mature reaction to it.
 
anyway OP just find something to keep your mind off chick, and whatever you do keep as little contact as possible with her. it's gonna be tough the first couple weeks.
 
smh i just broke up too lol same situation as you OP, but im trying so !!*%#$% hard now to think abotu her but i keep tinking about her 24/7 lol im a simp
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but i will def not go bak with her for sure
 
I know what you are going through right now. We broke up almost 4 months ago and Im still having problems with getting over that. We were toghether for more than 2 years and she was the girl I wanted to spend my life with. From what she said, she wanted to spend hers with me. It was also my first mature relationship, as I graduated college almost 3 years ago.

We were having some problems, just like you, but I was really ready to get through that. The thing is, she wasnt. Instead of trying to work it out she called it quits. What I did was to ask her if thats what she wanted and to think it over, gave her about 2 weeks for that. I also let her know I was ready to work on our relationship to fix the problems. I didnt text her, I didnt call - just gave her time to think it over. She did text me a couple times to get some info, but other that that we didnt talk.

We met at her place for "the talk". I straight up asked her if she is ready to talk, she said she was, so I asked her to start the conversation, as she was the one that need the time for herself. Couple minutes in she dropped "I love you more than anybody ever, but we cant be toghether, cuz we are too different". Asked her if she is sure of that and she said she is. So I told her straight up that she just doesnt want to commit to "us" like she said she would, and theres nothing we can talk about now as we will never be friends. I got up, took all my stuff I had in her apartment and just left. She was crying and trying to get that goodbye kiss and hug, but I just stood there as she hugged me, then took my bag and left.

Since then she was sending me some BS texts, FB messages, even calling my friend I was with at that time multiple times to get my attention. She knows I still have feelings for her, but I told her before 'its everything or nothing', we cant be just friends. I didnt return even a single text or message since we broke up, no contact at all from my side.

Honestly I really believed that what was between us was real and that she would call and say she wants it all back. She didnt, so obviously it all wasnt that important for her like it was for me and you need 2 people comitted to make a relationship work.

So my advice for you is to try to 'read' her. If she isnt comitted like you are then it just might not be worth it.
 
You took the biggest step by saying you don't want to talk to her...but in your situation I think it would be best to not text her but call her and tell her your feeling without getting heated in any way. Good luck fam
 
http://www.reddit.com/user/lol_wtf_omg_bbq
lol_wtf_omg_bbq 296 points297 points298 points 5 months ago* 
CarlAndreas, based on the information you provided, I feel strongly that:

  • She is bored with the relationship, not your activities. Going diving with sharks or paintballing will not cure this.

  • You said you are at the university so I am assuming you are relatively young. It seems that both of you are falling in the trap many of us fell into - because you don't have more experience, you don't realize that the romantic relationship is over. You still care for each other deeply but the magic is gone, at least for her. 10 years from now she will get the same signs and feelings as now and break up quickly.

  • You are still in love with her and you will try harder than before to keep her. You will throw yourself into the relationship, be more attentive, try to be creative. Ironically, this will make her less interested. (I feel you on the last point, I was in your shoes in college.)

  • However, you can do something about it with a small chance of this working. You (independently) can work on yourself. Expand your circle of friends. Go to more events. Work out. Join new clubs. Meet strangers. Be MORE independent and interesting. Just do your thing. Don't tell her about this initiative but let her see the changes in you.

  • Ironically, doing that will make other girls more interested in you. (This works for all redditors, too.)

  • When you break up (I am sorry I am predicting this), get laid as soon as possible. Work actively on it. I promise you that's the best thing that can make you feel better. Don't get me wrong, it will still feel like +%%+ but it will burn a bit less. Get laid early and often. Life seems better when you are on top of a hot blonde.

  • There's no such thing as a "break." I can't think of one time amongst all my friends where the couple got back together. It just means that one person is waiting and the other is doing his/her own thing until they permanently end it with the other.
Best of luck. You will ignore my advice, get burned, be in pain, learn a lesson and try to teach the same lesson 10 years down the road to some clueless youngen madly in love with his SO.
 
Originally Posted by AdobeCS4

Originally Posted by ajcollector9290

Originally Posted by AdobeCS4

She got a stiff one inside her right now and you crying on a message board.
2010 join date, 4300 posts 
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u stay patrollin these boards my g 
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4300 posts in 19 months while "your girl" is getting her face painted 
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DEAD
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Originally Posted by jermz101

You are acting OD macho with her son...just relax
Yeah.... chill out a bit. I can now see why y'all be arguing 
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Telling her it's now or never
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lmao @ ajcollector.

Troy McClure knows... give this @$+*@ a beer.

make sure you delete everything... AND I MEAN EVERYTHING...

block Facebook, twitter and numbers...

it really does help.
 
Originally Posted by jplikejayz

Originally Posted by TroyMcClure

#*** sounds dumb and cliche when I say this but...that's life man. Have to learn how to take the L's in stride, cause there will be plenty of them.
Obviously it is not even worth being with her. Sure feelings and emotions grow richer and deeper, but that's just life too.

Don't view her as "your girl". Everyone is their own, she's her, man. And if she was "the one" or even worth sticking it out with, an instance like this wouldn't happen.

#*** happens, learn from it and use the knowlesdge for round 2, or 3, 4, 5, whatever round you are in, there will be a lot.

clutch
Chick in your avy.....
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Originally Posted by ricky409

lmao @ ajcollector.

Troy McClure knows... give this @$+*@ a beer.

make sure you delete everything... AND I MEAN EVERYTHING...

block Facebook, twitter and numbers...

it really does help.
 
All of this one size fits all advice is hogwash but humans tend to try to fit everything in small neat little packages (I am about to)

If you and old girl really have something the only thing stopping you from getting her back is your pride. Sometimes you need to split up to get perspective and get your swag back and sometimes its just over. All the stipulations about what she can and cant do while you are apart and how the relationship you guys have has to be now or never is just pride. Truth is if you two got a future you wont stay friends because you say we cant be friends but you wont stay friends because you just cannot.

So just take this time and see if you are willing to give up your pride for this girl because if the answer is no it isnt worth feeling bad over.
 
Originally Posted by melofan15

if your girl messes with other dudes and ultimately decides she wants you back, do you honestly think she'll risk losing you by telling you the truth about the other dudes she's been with?


This.
 
Women like to be weaned off of men they have/had feelings for gradually...That whole "lets just be friends" nonsense after the break up is for them to still have your attention while they search for someone else.
 
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