African Descendants ✊🏿 Black People - Americas, Africa, Caribbean Culture Discussion

tokes99 said:
women's increase in achievement/higher status has been trending very much in the opposite direction to changing what they desire in men, this is exhibited by the stereotypical educated black woman finding a dude that's 'on their level' mantra; which is perhaps more pronounced in that demographic but is much more pervasive. than black women. obviously it not exclusively the case that increased status precludes relationships where women aren't as interested in the qualities of provision or high(er) status men, but the trends don't portend well, particularly for women who are earners
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I dont blame them for wanting more, especially if they are successful AND good looking.
 
lncognegro said:
Really? As a Haitian I don't see it. In the carabean the Mother is always revered and respected. Same with my Nigerian, Senegalese Brothers.
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i don’t think he means generally, rather i believe he is specifically referring to this space/spaces like these…where aren’t mothers revered & respected?

deusavertat said:
I dont blame them for wanting more, especially if they are successful AND good looking.
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eh…people can want what they want of course, the dilemma is are they really in a position to get it…and unfortunately for attractive & successful women looking for attractive successful men, the men aren’t necessarily particularly looking for success as an attribute nor are they necessarily screening out women who aren’t also as successful as them while women absolutely tend to do both (or men that at least appear to be on a path to success).

fact is, generally, successful and attractive women usually don’t want to pay the cost of being the boss when it comes to having to indefinitely foot the bill for a man they are in a relationship with the way successful men do for women, this is also one of those generally understood double standards. isn’t this technically sexism?
 
tokes99 said:
i don’t think he means generally, rather i believe he is specifically referring to this space/spaces like these…where aren’t mothers revered & respected?



eh…people can want what they want of course, the dilemma is are they really in a position to get it…and unfortunately for attractive & successful women looking for attractive successful men, the men aren’t necessarily particularly looking for success as an attribute nor are they necessarily screening out women who aren’t also as successful as them while women absolutely tend to do both (or men that at least appear to be on a path to success).

fact is, generally, successful and attractive women usually don’t want to pay the cost of being the boss when it comes to having to indefinitely foot the bill for a man they are in a relationship with the way successful men do for women, this is also one of those generally understood double standards. isn’t this technically sexism?
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Lol since we are talking anecdotes. I make much more than my wife who also has a 6 figure salary. She contributes to several expenses. There are plenty of women who support their spouses when they are in s financial rut or in school. I think the issue here isnt women, its men not wanting to accept help.

Indefinitely fit the bill is a #NT extreme.

And lets stop acting like hot successful black women cant find a man who is also successful and got a big D (pause). I think that narrative is overblown.
 
tomdiginson said:
Agreed. layziegunts layziegunts what kind of spaces are you occupying that you have to do so?
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Im talking about in these males dominated sites and more recently group chats. I see these arguments come up too much about how "black women this" and "black women that". Im not saying everyone talks like that, but its enough for me to notice that were is something wrong.
 
deusavertat said:
Lol since we are talking anecdotes. I make much more than my wife who also has a 6 figure salary. She contributes to several expenses. There are plenty of women who support their spouses when they are in s financial rut or in school. I think the issue here isnt women, its men not wanting to accept help.

Indefinitely fit the bill is a #NT extreme.

And lets stop acting like hot successful black women cant find a man who is also successful and got a big D (pause). I think that narrative is overblown.
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indefinitely isn't an extreme, it is just indeterminate; which is to say most men, especially if the guy is traditionally minded &/or has plotted out/reached some success is ok with the indefinite circumstance of supporting a woman (to your earlier point, men's identity has been tied to ability to protect/provision/provide) women in the same position generally aren't going to give their dude the same grace...which is ok/understandable because men & women are different and it belies the expectations each gender would do well to understand.

...definitely a lot of truth to some men, perhaps even the majority, not being 'secure' with their ol' lady footing the bill and that woman genuinely wanting to support her dude such that he does 'level up' but it doesn't negate that most women in that scenario are of the expectation that the guy needs to eventually get his weight up less she will "i can do bad all by myself" him out the frame (especially if he's not continually checking other boxes) whereas vice versa i don't think men generally are of that same expectation (even if his girl ain't checking off every want).

i'm sure attractive, educated, successful (black) women aren't actually lacking for potential (good) suitors, however while the narrative might well be overblown this meme/stereotype comes from somewhere & the analysis, data, think pieces, trends, & general zeitgeist of popular culture seem to indicate it will get worse before it gets better, and why there are so many salty dudes & bitter women outchea.

as a reminder of how this tangent of discourse came, was on the subjects of sexism being 'aggressions against women' & the overuse misogyny as a term
 
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tokes99 said:
indefinitely isn't an extreme, it is just indeterminate; which is to say most men, especially if the guy is traditionally minded &/or has plotted out/reached some success is ok with the indefinite circumstance of supporting a woman (to your earlier point, men's identity has been tied to ability to protect/provision/provide) women in the same position generally aren't going to give their dude the same grace...which is ok because men & women are different and it belies the expectations each gender would do well to understand.

...definitely a lot of truth to some men, perhaps even the majority, not being 'secure' with their ol' lady footing the bill and that woman genuinely wanting to support her dude such that he does 'level up' but it doesn't negate that most women in that scenario are of the expectation that the guy needs to eventually get his weight up less she will "i can do bad all by myself" him out the frame (especially if he's not continually checking other boxes) whereas vice versa i don't think men generally are of that same expectation (even if his girl ain't checking off every want).

i'm sure attractive, educated, successful (black) women aren't actually lacking for potential (good) suitors, however while the narrative might well be overblown this meme/stereotype comes from somewhere & the analysis, data, think pieces, trends, & general zeitgeist of popular culture seem to indicate it will get worse before it gets better, and why there are so many salty dudes & bitter women outchea.

as a reminder of how this tangent of discourse came, was on the subjects of sexism being 'aggressions against women' & the overuse misogyny as a term
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The usual aggressors usually undermine ths scope of said aggression. Racists think racism is overblown etc

It isnt only women who dont want to take care of an able bodied person "indefinitely".
 
layziegunts said:
Im talking about in these males dominated sites and more recently group chats. I see these arguments come up too much about how "black women this" and "black women that". Im not saying everyone talks like that, but its enough for me to notice that were is something wrong.
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Out of curiosity - do you visit female dominated spaces and speak out against misandry as well?
 
layziegunts said:
Im a man that likes talking sports, politics and stuff. Im not on any female dominated sites like this lol
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Yeah.

Makes more sense for males to have their own space just like females.

I doubt it would go well if I were to enter their spaces crying about misandry. :lol:
 
Attended the Black Panther NYC premiere, we made it NT

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afropop.org

Afropop Worldwide | Ancient Text Messages: Batá Drums in a Changing World

Ancient Text Messages: Batá Drums in a Changing World” explores an endangered tradition of drum speech in Nigeria, and how that tradition changed and thrived in Cuba, where large numbers of enslaved Yoruba arrived in the 19th century.
afropop.org afropop.org

Very informative episode.

The lady who's interviewed also wrote a book about it:
Amanda Villepastour provides the first academic study of the bata's communication technology and the elaborate coded spoken language of bata drummers, which they refer to as 'ena bata'. Villepastour explains how the bata drummers' speech encoding method links into universal linguistic properties, unknown to the musicians themselves. The analysis draws the direct links between what is spoken in Yoruba, how Yoruba is transformed in to the coded language (ena), how ena prescribes the drum strokes and, finally, how listeners (and which listeners) extract linguistic meaning from what is drummed.
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Amazon.com: Ancient Text Messages of the Yoruba Bata Drum: Cracking the Code (SOAS Studies in Music): 9780754667537: Villepastour, Amanda: Books

Amazon.com: Ancient Text Messages of the Yoruba Bata Drum: Cracking the Code (SOAS Studies in Music): 9780754667537: Villepastour, Amanda: Books
www.amazon.com
 
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