Asking Out a Bartender..... Edit: Did It

[Deleted member 38182]

Damn.... everything you just wrote, made complete sense. This is the most coherent post I've read in a long time 

I know my type, and I'm the super duper nice guy. But like you said, as a gentleman that don't mean I gotta be a little ***** either. 

 thanks.  yea man, i been down that road and when i hit 18 i had to make a choice and i chose me.  nice don't mean you gotta be a carpet!  

I rotted away in my prime from 18-22 being tied down to a relationship. So i'm just out there trying to find me before I can even do me 

 

[ricky409]

OP, you went in there like a boss. You asked the girl out, you did your thing as a guy/man. BUTTTT....I'd really like to know how your gonna handle it on the next date/adventure...?
OP i'm not gonna lie, I really want you to do your thing which seems to me is the nice guy/gentleman route....BUUUTTTT it does kinda sound like she's trying to give you the cold shoulder by the way you typed that scenario out.

alllll of this...

best advice i can give?

UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ISNT THE FIRST PRETTY GIRL YOU CAN PULL...

you gotta start somewhere when it comes to taking the p of the pedal stool.. I suggest you just end it... dont eem pursue it brah.. if she comes to you, then she comes to you... but you gotta build your confidence up... and the best way to do it is learn how to say no if someone aint bringing 110 cooperation...

walk away, famb... trust me...

 

[Pedro Navaja]

fambs, enough about your stories about yambs. Lets try to point OP in the right direction. New Year's Eve party is crucial. You can definitely splack that night if you play your cards right. Or you can earn a permanent spot in the Friendzone. OP, can you hold your liquor?

 

[skyline]

fambs, enough about your stories about yambs. Lets try to point OP in the right direction. New Year's Eve party is crucial. You can definitely splack that night if you play your cards right. Or you can earn a permanent spot in the Friendzone. OP, can you hold your liquor?

The bruh is right. New Year's Eve's party means a definite kiss, so keep your **** together until the clock strikes twelve, Cinderella.

 

[ill steelo]

NYE party?

Damn that's perfect. Lucky you.

 

[trav t]

OP, you went in there like a boss. You asked the girl out, you did your thing as a guy/man. BUTTTT....I'd really like to know how your gonna handle it on the next date/adventure...?


OP i'm not gonna lie, I really want you to do your thing which seems to me is the nice guy/gentleman route....BUUUTTTT it does kinda sound like she's trying to give you the cold shoulder by the way you typed that scenario out.

Perhaps she will, who knows, we went out last night.....I don't expect her to hop on the d 24 hrs later.
All in all, I mean I like her alot. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she's not into playing games and what not, but we'll see.

Our next "date" I'm assuming will be this New Years Eve party her friend is having, so until then I'm not even putting in much effort for anything.

Like I said, I'm not taking much of any planned approach on this chick. I like her and if she likes who I am naturally then that only adds to her cool points.
In the mean time, I will still be lurking the Black Women appreciation thread every now and then cause that pre-bone thunderstick still needs its vitamins.......lawwwwd 

New Year's Eve party, huh? Sounds like she's looking for a kissing partner to ring in the new year. This could end well. Then again, I've had girls invite me to stuff and then never follow up. I think you got this one, though.

 

[hypebeast5]

Idk but I like hearing guys succeed congrats dude

 

[iblink]

Just go with the flow fam. Don't be "thirsty", but don't be nonchalant as if you couldn't care less about hanging out with her. It's all about moderating your enthusiasm. Like you said, she's a bad bar tender. She probably gets reminded of her looks by drunken overly anxious dudes practically every time she goes to work. Just be easy and let her see that you're not one of them.

By the way, where you all partying at for NYE? Looking for ideas.

 

[4shoposite]

alllll of this...
best advice i can give?
UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ISNT THE FIRST PRETTY GIRL YOU CAN PULL...
you gotta start somewhere when it comes to taking the p of the pedal stool.. I suggest you just end it... dont eem pursue it brah.. if she comes to you, then she comes to you... but you gotta build your confidence up... and the best way to do it is learn how to say no if someone aint bringing 110 cooperation...
walk away, famb... trust me...

wut? The chick really aint done nothing for dude to kick her to the curb. If anything...yall are the ones acting mad paranoid and beta. Chick invited him to a NYE party....a party around her friends....OP is winning by atleast 7 points right now. She could really be out of town..I mean, it is Christmas lol. He shouldnt have to do the things you suggest to build his confidence up. Thats hustling backwards b! Infact...that might have been the most pathetic beta post ive ever read...no lie.

 

[benssick]

just talk to her and be yourself and ask her out on a date straight up

 

[royal assassin]

the best part is that even if she ends up not feeling it if he plays his cards right he could still get in with the stable of hot friends she has to have, yay!  

 

[gridebounca11]

I see this going one of two ways.
1) This woman will appreciate the fact that you are sincere in your intentions. She will notice that you are a good man, with good qualities. Iin her proffession, she is constantly aware of her image, and for some women, it is an honest relief meeting someone who is interested in them for who they are vs what they do and how they look.

2)Straight to the friendzone. She might still enjoy the fact that you are interested in her, but the type of men she sleeps with might just happen to possess certain qualities you dont.

Whatever the case may be, be yourself. Never compromise who you are, even if its top notch yamb. Sepf respect and the affirmation of values is way more important in the grand scheme of life. According to your posts, id say youre leaning towards option 1. Just relax, have fun, and go with the flow.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Can't lie, I'm geeked. Pretty much my first time asking someone out right on the fly after first introductions.
Not easy, but whatever. Worth it 100%.

Now I'm stuck at work all day with anticipatory wood.
Shouts out to TAY where this probably belongs....

Lose the geekiness. She ain't better than you. She shouldd be geeked. Good work though

 

[ijumpman]

Hmm, I guess Niketalk advice does work! Good job!

 

[georgehimself]

Perhaps she will, who knows, we went out last night.....I don't expect her to hop on the d 24 hrs later.
All in all, I mean I like her alot. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she's not into playing games and what not, but we'll see.

Our next "date" I'm assuming will be this New Years Eve party her friend is having, so until then I'm not even putting in much effort for anything.

Like I said, I'm not taking much of any planned approach on this chick. I like her and if she likes who I am naturally then that only adds to her cool points.
In the mean time, I will still be lurking the Black Women appreciation thread every now and then cause that pre-bone thunderstick still needs its vitamins.......lawwwwd 

Damn I read all of the pages of this thread today. When I heard the good news, I literally stopped eating my cereal, smiled, and then started typing. Thanks for the feel good story of the today. I might run with this energy and go to my local TGIF and hit the waitress with the:

 

[cruzair13]

too much real life for OP.

 

[a 5th of august]

The next time you should contact her is on Christmas, and your text should only include "Merry Christmas, (name)".  THAT'S ALL.  Make sure to put her name so that it's more personal.  It's the perfect combination of thoughtfulness and non-thirstyness.  See how she responds to that, and go from there.  Good luck OP, happy for you.

 

[shoeking2101]

don't be.  yo no ducktales, was out at a bar in the county with my homie, gettin' pretty twisted.  cute bartender workin there named tara.  only been to that bar a few times, but seen her around, little blonde thing.  i took out my phone, unlocked it and brought up the dial pad yelled, 'HEY TARA,' across the bar.  she comes over and i literally tossed my phone onto the bar and said, 'put your number in,'.  she gave me this look like, 'word?,' and put it in. easiest number i ever got.  i never even called her    next time i went in there, she was piiiissssed.  eh it happens.  

This approach has worked quite a few times with me especially with people that I run into semi often and know their name, etc.

 

[shoeking2101]

This is a good point.
On a similar note, what should I be doing if I don't wanna be the nice guy, gentleman no more?

Be yourself fam. If you're a gentleman, that's okay. The biggest misconception with stuff like that this is that gentlemen are pushovers/*******. Being a gentlemen is fine, being a pushover isn't. Your a man, so be a gentlemen, but if you aren't cool with something, let it be known. You feel a certain way about something, speak on it. You want to say something to her? Say it. You want to kiss her at that New Years eve party? Do it. Don't even give her a chance to come up to you, you do it. (If she says no to it, that's fine **** happens, whatever but assert yourself.) Assert yourself, be a gentleman, be yourself, just don't be a pushover. It's a difference.

Homie above me is right though, you don't want to go to that alone. Also, when you go, mingle with other people, other women, it'll make you look more desirable anyway.

Happy for you OP.

 

[puglife]

happy for you OP. hope it works out for you!


btw illest...i see on my fb homepage that random friends of mine recently "liked" your fb page. i'm gonna start telling them i know you

 

[nothingbefore]

falling in love with a bartender = No good

props for being brave to take that dive tho

 

[ricky409]

wut? The chick really aint done nothing for dude to kick her to the curb. If anything...yall are the ones acting mad paranoid and beta. Chick invited him to a NYE party....a party around her friends....OP is winning by atleast 7 points right now. She could really be out of town..I mean, it is Christmas lol. He shouldnt have to do the things you suggest to build his confidence up. Thats hustling backwards b! Infact...that might have been the most pathetic beta post ive ever read...no lie.

I guess fam...

you can say what you want, saying this is beta, but think about it.... Famb is super duper geeked about this girl.

he will clearly not think in a rational manner when handling her.

just fall back op... If she's feeling you, shell let it be known... If you never spoke with her, I'd be saying be aggressive...

you got the most intimidating part out the way... Kick back and relax...

 

[curbsideprophet]

geez. I'm just surprised this thread made it 6 pages 

 

[moe szyslak]

Original Poster, SHOW THY SELF!!!

Did thou smangeth or were you left hangeth???

 

[solexsup]

I say we smell OPs wang to see if he smashed.