Confessions

[calikev34]

Yo I feel like all you guys are the lames that go to the Comedy Central roasts and get all weird wen a joke crosses the line
- as Greg Giraldo would say... "ITS A ROAST YOU IDIOTS"

Well... This is the confessions thread... Y'all just gon jump on this dude for being honest about his situation... In the confessions thread????
Idk much but I do know that there's no need to attack based off of some totally mature BROS BEFORE **** mentality
... As if anything is that simple.

But, for the record, I have been there done that, Rio
Was it worth it? Idk. But like you said. The view was nice.
Ha. If your boys a notorious heartbreaker, then it's even harder to not pursue her bc you knw they're not gunna work out

Well, from your first post, before you dove into the girl problem, I could tell we have a very similar perspective
And I needed to add in how trippy that was to read
Bc you summed up some if my exact thoughts succinctly
You said you dnt trust ppl. Well maybe because you do covert stuff like ehat ure currently doing w homegirl
But more than that you just seem very nihilistic in general
Strong sense if negativity
If you think life is pointless, then girls definitely are as well
Like I'm sure you think it'll never really work out, or whatever in the long run
"Everybody has an expiration date" kinda thing

But what I'm proposing is that bc you dnt believe in relationships working out, that's exactly why you pursued this one
You knew it was ur dudes gf
And maybe the taboo of that was enticing
But I'm saying you knew it DEF wouldn't work out
... And therefore you were free to do whatever you wanted!
That freedom is why I think y'all hit it off and made a connection
I highly doubt she's the first female you've ever come in contact with who has the ability for intellectual conversation
I just think she's the first girl you've actually given a fair chance to shine
Bc you were open to it, you were open to her
Yaknow?
Eh. Just my thoughts.

 

[Grine]

She cheatin on ur friend she gunna cheat on u too fam

It's just that simple...Y'all be simpin' too much 

 

[superantigen]

@M4rioL living dat savage life.




...

 

[krazy88s]

No real social life. I wouldn't say I'm lonely or alone...it's weird tho. No gf in about 4 years or so. All of which is my fault.

 

[hybridsoldier23]

@M4rioL

My dude, first of all you can sit back and criticize your friend all you want, "He's a cheater, He doesn't spend enough time with her, He's treating her like crap, He's going to move and ditch her.." but at the end of the day regardless of what's going on between them this is about YOU and your actions. You allowed yourself to be in her bed, you made passes at her, and even though you know that what you're doing is wrong you're continuing to do it.

You mentioned that every time you get together you're asking each other "What are we going to do?". The simple and obvious answer is that she needs to break up with her boyfriend. Maybe I missed it but why the hell hasn't that happened yet? It doesn't make any sense that if you're "the guy" for her that she wouldn't have left him by now. She's **** ing with you. She's getting what she needs from him, and whatever she's not getting she's lapping up from you. She's broken and you're not going to fix her. You are not the solution.

In regard to this "But we're not having sex guys!" I've never understood why people put so much emphasis just on sex when it comes to infidelity. We've got it hardcoded in our DNA to have the urge to physically mate. But the emotional aspect of infidelity is always premeditated. It's something that is thought about before it's executed and while it's going on people consciously make the choice to get deeper and deeper into it. There should be no less guilt or remorse just because you haven't smashed. Allowing yourself to emotionally cheat with her is just as bad if not worse.

I don't believe that people should be off limits after a relationship has ended. But let me tell you this, a relationship born out of infidelity will fail. Plain and simple. It will end in infidelity and/or trust issues because you built the foundation of the relationship on deception. You mentioned that you're only 22 and this is a learning experience, well take it as that. Had you controlled your feelings and waited it out until they broke up I'd say you could have attempted something with her. But because you built everything consciously or unconsciously to fail like calikev34 stated you have 0 chance of this working out in a positive manner. From what you said earlier about you life being in turmoil and being depressed this is the last thing you're going to want to try to make work out. All this is going to bring you is pain and more turmoil to your life.

I think inside you know that but don't know how to handle it. My advice is to do whatever you need to do to kill your romantic emotions for her. If that means totally cutting her out of your life then so be it. You weren't friends before your boy started dating her so it's not like you're ending some long childhood friendship. If that was the case I would say try to figure out how you can at least stay superficially friends, but in this case it seems you need to get as far away from her as possible.

This "relationship" with her is just like all the other empty coping mechanisms you mentioned and you need to realize that. You moved on from smoking and drinking to coke, and now you moved on to her to fill the void you have inside. Understand that while you may be getting emotionally fed from her right now, you're going to end up empty just like that bottle of Jack, the bottom of the pipe bowl, or the end of the line.

You stated that you're feeling weak because you can't solve your problems head on. Well, it's time to drop all those coping mechanisms and take control of your life so that you can be happy with yourself. Only once you do that will you be able to find, and gravitate to relationships and situations that are not full of drama and turmoil. The transition will be hard mentally and physically so I suggest you seek some sort of counseling or be very candid and honest with people or a person you trust. Trying to do it alone will almost undoubtedly worsen your depression. If worse comes to worst and you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.

 

[joepac12]

Mario ain't the type of friend I keep around me

 

[adobecs4]

Hope his boy bodies him.

 

[iluvjordanxi]

My girl cheated on me with my friend. They been together for almost 3 years but they broke up. I was scarred for the first 3 months and I never spoke to either one of them. I eventually bumped into him again because of our mutual friend's graduation. Nothing has been the same though. He was all alone when his girl ain't there because she goes to a school outside the city and all our mutual friends didn't want to hang with him after what he did. I eventually forgave him because I wanted a peace of mind and he needed a second chance. What I'm saying is prepare to lose all mutual friends between you and your boy if you about that life. What are you going to do once the relationship falls apart? There is no best case scenario for you.

 

[calikev34]

Hybridsoldier-
I like your take on emotional cheating
Not too many ppl hold that view
Good stuff, made me think of Lost In Translation

 

[lolcomin]

Severe Depression/Anxiety

No Social Life

No friends for a matter of fact

Lonely

 

[301216baller]

 
Severe Depression/Anxiety

No Social Life

No friends for a matter of fact

Lonely

suck it up..we all go thru this stage in life

 

[PRIME]

hybridsoldier23 :x

 

[cels the younggod]

Severe Depression/Anxiety
No Social Life
No friends for a matter of fact
Lonely

You ever went to speak with someone? Depression is serious and very dangerous

 

[ognikehead85]

 
Severe Depression/Anxiety

No Social Life

No friends for a matter of fact

Lonely

Damn things can always get better but always try to talk to someone or get help especially with depression 

 

[lolcomin]

 
suck it up..we all go thru this stage in life

see this is why so many mentally unstable go on to do what they do

You ever went to speak with someone? Depression is serious and very dangerous

 
Damn things can always get better but always try to talk to someone or get help especially with depression 

i mean i do have a therapist but it just seems that it doesn't work

Have an appointment later on this month for meds, i used to be on prozac but that didn't work,

and it doesn't help that i've also been "diagnosed" for psychotic tendencies so i have to control my self 

 

[cels the younggod]

see this is why so many mentally unstable go on to do what they do


i mean i do have a therapist but it just seems that it doesn't work
Have an appointment later on this month for meds, i used to be on prozac but that didn't work,
and it doesn't help that i've also been "diagnosed" for psychotic tendencies so i have to control my self 

There is no set amount time for therapy to work, just keep going and truly expressing yourself. Hopefully something will happen either in therapy or life that makes you change your POV.

Also know that you are not alone bro, with however you feel and or whatever circumstance you are going through. Someone else out there is experiencing how you feel. Search other forums and websites, those can help

 

[brabbit1]

No real social life. I wouldn't say I'm lonely or alone...it's weird tho. No gf in about 4 years or so. All of which is my fault.

I thought I was alone on this but after reading thru this thread, I guess its not that uncommon?

I also don't really have a social life other than the people I talk to at work but nothing outside of work. Sometimes i feel like i have social anxiety especially in new crowded places I've never been before My last real relationship was from 2010-2011

 

[Thierry Henry]

@M4rioL

 

[currensy]

Take on a role or leadership position. Volunteer even. Do something where you'll be forced to interact, and then you'll grow more comfortable with interacting with people. Its tough but you can do it.

I just got out of a funk I was in so I've been working on my self esteem/confidence. Life just isn't what I want it to be but I'll be straight. Also, I do community service by helping out the band I play in. I might take on a mentor role next school year if they do one.

 

[AgentZero]

 

I'm going to be alone...probably forever.

I feel the same exact way, breh.

Me too 

 

[andretti]

 

I'm going to be alone...probably forever.

I feel the same exact way, breh.

Me too |I

 

[lolcomin]

Well that just goes to show that i'm not good for anything

This just broke me and i'm prolly going to go in a deep depressive state for the rest of my life

Back to being suicidal , well **** my life

was never **** and never will be

just sewer trash

 

[Naruto]

I'm emotionally unstable. Somedays I'm fine but somedays I crack and get emo. Effect of PTS? Suicidal thoughts and depressed but I dont feel ill take that route. My soul checked out already, call me ungrateful or stubborn but that's just my thoughts and feelings

 

[RIP sleazyy]

Well that just goes to show that i'm not good for anything
This just broke me and i'm prolly going to go in a deep depressive state for the rest of my life
Back to being suicidal , well **** my life
was never **** and never will be
just sewer trash

I've been there.

PM me if you ever want to talk. Doesn't have to be about anything in particular but I know sometimes you just need anyone to stop and listen.

Don't hesitate.

 

[calikev34]

First of all bros- were all gunna make it

For all my brahs talkin that "zero social life"/"forever alone" talk
Y'all know your social skills are like a jumpshot right?
I mean it's like we haven't ran a game in literal years, and we go to the court today and get that old fashioned *** whoopin
Would you blame yourself for taking that L on the court?
**** no.
You'd say-- i played awful today. And I don want to feel like that next time. I need to work on my game, man.

Depending on who you prefer, either Shaq or Aristotle, there's a quote that's so applicable for those of us on this situation
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

So keep shootin brahs
But don't expect to become Ray Allen if you're not puttin in work everyday