Confessions

this is why i like NT

welp least im not alone, i dunno what to call it man.....................
 
Have I got u on IG?

Yeh me neither man. Could be just a passing stage in our emotions. No idea though. Goodluck bro
 
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I threw out or hurt the people that genuinely cared about me. Took it for granted and now they all hate me or moved on. The people I interact with daily aren't the ride or die types, they all superficial conformists and aren't real. Made me finally realize that the people that were good to me had qualities that are meaningful, thus they are people I now look up to. How they've kept their good qualities and realness after all this time and in the society that we live in, I'm in awe.
 
getting tattoos is my new stress reliever.

i have a 5-hour thigh piece appointment coming up in a few weeks.

the sensation makes my stress go away. if that makes sense?

Its because of the endorphins your body releases during the process.
 
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Its 3am and I can't go back to sleep after passing out from all of the booze earlier. Feeling ****** and alone, worst feeling ever |I
 
This whole Adult Life thing is bugging me out. I budget, I pay bills, I have fun with my friends, and I try to be a little better at my job everyday. My confidence nowadays is pretty high but at the same time im so scared of messing it alll up. I get paniic attacks regularly, smoke mad cigarettes and weed, and generally live in these waves of extreme love of life and terrifying anxiety. I used to see shrinks all the time, and I know I need to start back again. Im on the subway as I type this, I find myself wanting to cry my eyes out, but im not even sad. Like, I just need to cry and let it out for some reason. I dunno.

I fell in love with a girl at first sight recently, and im making sure not to get too into her. Literally, I saw her and fell in love, then we hung out and connected in an insane way, mentally, physically, all that. Now im trying to make sure she doesnt know I think about her all the time. Its getting to me, because I could see myself being in a relationship with her, but we've only known eachother a short time. NT is the only place I could confess this, because im a grown *** man with a serious crush on a chick I barely know.
Know your worth 1st and let her know that your feeling that ****. Very rare that u fall in love at 1st sight.
 
wayniac211 wayniac211 I feel you bruh. I'm never gonna come at her from that angle, tho, because we've literally hung out twice. Tonight would be the third time, and i REALLY enjoy hanging out with this young lady. I'd rather feel out the situation a little more before trying to wife something up. This chick is way too cool for that tied down life, and I just like hanging out and having awesome sex with her. I would never let my feelings spill out on her like that, cause I'd like to think of myself as a paragon of non-simping, and I doubt she's tryna get wifed beyond these winter months.

Like I said, if she's down, then I'm all the way down, but I wanna see if she's down first. A lot of signs are saying "not down", though I doubt she's a bop, but then again what grown woman isn't doing her thing? I can't hate, but I'm not gonna get my nose all wide open and try to jump into a situation with a chick I barely know, no matter how dope I think she is. I'm hanging out with her tonight, and we'll keep hanging out, and as time goes on things should work out organically. I'm more surprised about the fact that I saw her across a room, had a crazy feeling, and the feeling has only remained as we've gotten to know eachother. I hope she feels the same way, but on the real she'll never know all that because I'm a cool cold dude with a heart that pumps ice and a pimp hand made of iron cloaked in a velvet glove.
 
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Can't wait for her to be down fam. If you lead they will follow.
I hear you with the cautious approach though. We as men want that appreciation based on our effort towards emotion/action. Get to know her mentally first. Check her flaws and yours as well. Foresee in 5 yrs if those flaws are worth changing or remaining.
Loves a beautiful thing but a ***** to achieve and keep
 
Can't wait for her to be down fam. If you lead they will follow.
I hear you with the cautious approach though. We as men want that appreciation based on our effort towards emotion/action. Get to know her mentally first. Check her flaws and yours as well. Foresee in 5 yrs if those flaws are worth changing or remaining.
Loves a beautiful thing but a ***** to achieve and keep

People show you who they are. He could make the move to initiate a relationship with her but that doesn't mean she's truly down for him.
 
-I been really busy lately (which is what I wanted)
-I need a job ASAP
-I also been gaining weight :-/
-No Bueno

getting tattoos is my new stress reliever.

i have a 5-hour thigh piece appointment coming up in a few weeks.

the sensation makes my stress go away. if that makes sense?

I used to do this with piercings. Lol then I had nothing else to pierce
 
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People show you who they are. He could make the move to initiate a relationship with her but that doesn't mean she's truly down for him.
I see you breh, but if you know your worth, then it'll be easy chunking up the deuce when appreciation isn't reciprocated..
 
getting tattoos is my new stress reliever.

i have a 5-hour thigh piece appointment coming up in a few weeks.

the sensation makes my stress go away. if that makes sense?

yea from the time you posted your first tat you been going in........

interesting, i do want ink but i have no clue what to get yet
 
its crazy i've dealt with depression and been on meds, etc... but its weird when u really do wonder to yourself like maybe i really have been a loser. not self-pity not beating myself up but like a genuine assessment like you would take of anyone else. Not a virgin but have always struggled with women, was always more of a nerd, terrible social skills, awkward but i also don't really try, i don't buy clothes or take interest in it or fix myself up in anyway and i'm scrawny i've been mistaken for a middle school kid. 

basically i've come to the conclusion that maybe i'm not even depressed or sad but that my life just sucks and who would really feel that good about themselves having lived a sort of pathetic life you know? 

So i'm working out , going to see a therapist for help with my anxiety and working on saving money and dressing better and i think its really all i need, like maybe its really not that deep and i just need some box and to feel like SOMEBODY.

/rambling
 
NTBros 

you control your own happiness. your own god 

you cant find meaning in life. meaning finds you.
 
its crazy i've dealt with depression and been on meds, etc... but its weird when u really do wonder to yourself like maybe i really have been a loser. not self-pity not beating myself up but like a genuine assessment like you would take of anyone else. Not a virgin but have always struggled with women, was always more of a nerd, terrible social skills, awkward but i also don't really try, i don't buy clothes or take interest in it or fix myself up in anyway and i'm scrawny i've been mistaken for a middle school kid. 

basically i've come to the conclusion that maybe i'm not even depressed or sad but that my life just sucks and who would really feel that good about themselves having lived a sort of pathetic life you know? 

So i'm working out , going to see a therapist for help with my anxiety and working on saving money and dressing better and i think its really all i need, like maybe its really not that deep and i just need some box and to feel like SOMEBODY.

/rambling

Sounds like you're already on the path of progress.

Just know that there are going to be more humps in the road, but overcoming them will make you stronger.
 
my bad casualalfredo
its crazy i've dealt with depression and been on meds, etc... but its weird when u really do wonder to yourself like maybe i really have been a loser. not self-pity not beating myself up but like a genuine assessment like you would take of anyone else. Not a virgin but have always struggled with women, was always more of a nerd, terrible social skills, awkward but i also don't really try, i don't buy clothes or take interest in it or fix myself up in anyway and i'm scrawny i've been mistaken for a middle school kid. 

basically i've come to the conclusion that maybe i'm not even depressed or sad but that my life just sucks and who would really feel that good about themselves having lived a sort of pathetic life you know? 

So i'm working out , going to see a therapist for help with my anxiety and working on saving money and dressing better and i think its really all i need, like maybe its really not that deep and i just need some box and to feel like SOMEBODY.

/rambling

That's a awesome conclusion you have come to. I feel like this myself. Goodluck, looks like your working on the the things that matter, hope you can keep it up cos you will be a different person after it all
 
Same.

Been feeling like this for about 1 month solid. Nothing interests me enough to go out socially. Easier to be bored bat **** at home. Im going to my friends bucks party this weekend because I have to which will be good but they are the only social things I do now. That and go see a movie. I feel like no matter what I do its just the same **** and ive done it before blah blah blah. Most weekends I just go walk around the shopping centre and **** **** at home on the net or my phone and watching tv. I hate being at work as well, taken lots of leave latly just cos id rather just not be here. I dunno whats going on but I wish itd stop. Im not lonely though... is that weird
It's good that you've got some plans. Whether or not you really feel like it sometimes you just got to put yourself out there and do something social. I've been in that state where life seems monotonous, but there's always some goal I set for myself (no matter how small) or activity I look forward to doing to help me get past those times. Staying active is key.
 
its crazy i've dealt with depression and been on meds, etc... but its weird when u really do wonder to yourself like maybe i really have been a loser. not self-pity not beating myself up but like a genuine assessment like you would take of anyone else. Not a virgin but have always struggled with women, was always more of a nerd, terrible social skills, awkward but i also don't really try, i don't buy clothes or take interest in it or fix myself up in anyway and i'm scrawny i've been mistaken for a middle school kid. 

basically i've come to the conclusion that maybe i'm not even depressed or sad but that my life just sucks and who would really feel that good about themselves having lived a sort of pathetic life you know? 

So i'm working out , going to see a therapist for help with my anxiety and working on saving money and dressing better and i think its really all i need, like maybe its really not that deep and i just need some box and to feel like SOMEBODY.

/rambling
Like others have said you're already on the right track. Even if you think you've lived a pathetic life or are a pathetic person, there has to be some things that you excel in and can take pride in.

For example the word "nerd" usually has a negative connotation, but hey if you're doing well academically that's something to be proud of.
 
I've never seen Space Jam.

1000
 
AgentZero you're right.

Tomorrow I'm going to a concert. Young Jeezy
 
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