Confessions

[cragmatic]

About what?? talking to someone helps a lot of ppl don't bottle it in.

I say I think I'm depressed because I'm not sure what if I truly know what it means to be depressed? But getting out of bed in the morning is the hardest thing and I have zero motivation and usually feel like "oh great, another day I gotta get through."

For starters, society gets me down. I determined last night that by deactivating my facebook and not seeing all that negativity will hopefully help a bit.

All the negativity and hate I see on facebook everyday just opens my eyes to how hateful the world really can be. Some of the comments people would say on different topics from Cecil the lion, to the continued cops shooting unarmed people, to gay marriage.

I'm a peaceful and accepting person, and sometimes it just bums me out that so many people aren't that way.

Also, I just turned 28 last month, and I can't help but think I'm going to be alone my whole life. All of my friends are getting married, my sister just got married, I never see anyone anymore because they are all busy with their own lives. And I can't meet a girl where things go right to save my life. I know I'm not a 10, but I'm not ugly, I'm tall, I'm very fit... I'm starting to determine that girls just don't like my personality.

Most recently I was hanging out with this girl for a few weeks, she seemed super cool, we had a lot of similar interests, she would ask to see me pretty much everyday, then all a sudden she just flipped on me and decided she wanted nothing to do with me. Which I'm sure there was another dude or something, but theres only so many times you can get hit with the "well I've realized I'm not really looking for a relationship right now" before it starts to feel batman. Sometimes I think I lose girls when i tell them I'm a huge Kanye fan , or when they find out I .

I've finally made the step to advance in my career and will most likely be making more money than I do now, but somehow I feel that money won't make me happy

I've still got music though, so I'll be alright, word to Kendrick

Edit: I think really the mornings and getting out of bed are the worst. That's probably semi normal tho? I swear even when I drift in and out of sleep my brain functions differently and without even thinking about it I'll feel down. At the gym bumping Section 80 and I feel a LOT better.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Went on FB today and read the thread for my 20 year high school reunion coming up. Crazy how many have died.

 

[krazy]

cragmatic

Bro I swear I'm just like you man. Except I just turned 25. I can't say I truly know what it means to be depressed, because its classified as a mental disorder, and I'd hate to steal any thunder from people who are truly going through it. I do however long for the feeling of happiness, I try to look for it every day even if I'm not thinking about it.

You are right about social media -- some days I will delete my apps for a week, and go back to it when I feel "normal" again.

The thing you said about waking up -- I used to hate that feeling. But my 5 y/o nephew moved in and he wakes me up every day playing my WiiU right next to me. That alone gives me enough strength to get up, go to work, and kick the day's ***.

One thing that works for me is always looking for something new to do and always keeping myself busy. I'm always on the move.. on the go, checking out something new.. can no longer be stagnant. And keep hitting the gym/exercises brotha, its the most physically and mentally rewarding thing you can do when you feel in the dumps.

Keep your head up man, just know that there are many many people out there that go through an entire day of what you feel -- we just don't know it.

 

[MetalMario]

PM me if you want to talk to someone who has been clinically depressed for the last three years with no end in sight

 

[Naruto]

I believe I have some form of PTSD. Nothing has been the same ever since. I was extroverted back then and then everything just went to ****. Kinda sad to me when I look back, happy kid who everyone liked to a unlikeable dude that looks pissed all the time

 

[cuetero]

I jumped in a foreign with a matching burberry sweater smh

 

[cragmatic]

@LilCao

I know what you mean about trying to stay on the go and what not.

I try to keep a positive attitude, and I know that only I can control my attitude. I try to be thankful and grateful for everything I do have, as there are people in the world who are struggling to even find clean water. At least I have food to eat, a place to stay, clean water, etc.

I've had more great experiences in the past 4 years than I've had in my entire life, at one point though it gets lonely when you realize that those experiences have always been with different people. Oh well, I still try to enjoy myself in the moment.

@M4rioL it's hard to tell via text if that was sincere, but I apologize if it seemed I threw the word around in anyway. i can't even classify what it is that I am. But I pretty sure there are people, such as yourself, who actually are indeed depressed. I'm sorry to hear that man, and hope as I do for everyone else that feels that way, that it gets better.

 

[MetalMario]

I am and it was sincere. Don't worry about you feeling like you used the word without knowing the weight that comes with it, happens a lot of the time and not just that word. It's just at this point when talking about certain topics such as this one I get a "why bother?" attitude. a lot of depressed people feel the same.

**** is terrible man. period.

 

[cragmatic]

I am and it was sincere. Don't worry about you feeling like you used the word without knowing the weight that comes with it, happens a lot of the time and not just that word. It's just at this point when talking about certain topics such as this one I get a "why bother?" attitude. a lot of depressed people feel the same.

**** is terrible man. period.

I hear you man. I've been feeling that same way as of late. At least things like this confession thread exist, and somehow talking to strangers via the a shoe message board helps a bit.

If you wouldn't mind me asking, would you say you can pinpoint why you are depressed? I'm not looking for you to tell why, just curious if you can find reasons or if you just are. The reason I ask if because I know how real chemical imbalances in the brain can be, and theres not always specific reasons.

I just tell myself every time I'm feeling down that I need to keep being thankful for and appreciate the little things.

 

[zapatohead408]

I'm not happy.

 

[lolcomin]

I'm not happy.

try and find something everyday to make you smile

Just that one little act can improve your day

 

[lolcomin]

I believe I have some form of PTSD. Nothing has been the same ever since. I was extroverted back then and then everything just went to ****. Kinda sad to me when I look back, happy kid who everyone liked to a unlikeable dude that looks pissed all the time

same

 

[MetalMario]

 

I am and it was sincere. Don't worry about you feeling like you used the word without knowing the weight that comes with it, happens a lot of the time and not just that word. It's just at this point when talking about certain topics such as this one I get a "why bother?" attitude. a lot of depressed people feel the same.

**** is terrible man. period.

I hear you man. I've been feeling that same way as of late. At least things like this confession thread exist, and somehow talking to strangers via the a shoe message board helps a bit.

If you wouldn't mind me asking, would you say you can pinpoint why you are depressed? I'm not looking for you to tell why, just curious if you can find reasons or if you just are. The reason I ask if because I know how real chemical imbalances in the brain can be, and theres not always specific reasons.

I just tell myself every time I'm feeling down that I need to keep being thankful for and appreciate the little things.

I have other factors going into play for myself but a huge player in this answer for finding a pinpoint I can mark down is hitting the biggest epiphany that everything is F----d, nothing will change and there's no point in trying to change it because you can't. To borrow a quote I know "the most intelligent people in the world are often the saddest because they know just how sh*tty the world is" I agree.

some examples to go with this that some years ago an indian kid in america was a prodigy, with genius IQ. He was in university by 15 and didn't finish because he committed suicide at 16. A psychologist was interviewed and he threw out this sentence that probably flew over heads "He knew too much" I don't have a source for this but take my word with grains of salt

For a funnier example. there was a tweet that went on black twitter around the time Age of Ultron came out. Dude tweeted "I don't blame Ultron wanting to destroy/remake earth. He looked through the whole internet (which has the history of man, wars, occurrences and pretty much everything known to us in existence of course) in 15 seconds and decided humans weren't worth it.

That's for one pinpoint of external source, I am generally a sad/very serious person to begin with. I have been my entire life.

 

[cragmatic]

@M4rioL damn man, everything you just said is entirely too real. I liked the Ultron explanation too. The world is screwed, and it's only getting worse. The best thing I can do is try to not think about it, and not pay it any mind. But that's easier said than done.

Do you smoke trees at all? There are days I can feel like crap all day, and I finally get home and have that first hit, and all of a sudden I feel so much better. Not to say I use it as a crutch, but the herb definitely has healing powers in more ways than one. And its natural.

For real though, from our brief conversation in here, you seem like a cool dude who like myself can be too aware of what's going on in the world and how messed up it all is. Sometimes though you just gotta try to not think about it, and copy what Mario is doing in your avi

 

[art vandelay]

I legit am upset with my wife, she was on the phone with her sister yday, and when I walked in the kitchen to get my phone she was going through it, and when she saw I caught her she tried to put it back like I didn't notice. So I snatch my phone off of the charger, and slid it open, and the phone didn't go to the home screen, straight to the text screen. Normally I don't care, I am not cheating, nor would I, but if you have to go through those lengths to be nosey, just ask to see the damn phone. It was just childish the way she went about it, and then tried to be all friendly afterward, I went to sleep on her, not eem interested. Everytime she gets to yapping with her all talk nothing to show for it sister she pulls stunts like this. If I were to cheat, this would drive it in the right direction.

 

[Bruce Banner]

I legit am upset with my wife, she was on the phone with her sister yday, and when I walked in the kitchen to get my phone she was going through it, and when she saw I caught her she tried to put it back like I didn't notice. So I snatch my phone off of the charger, and slid it open, and the phone didn't go to the home screen, straight to the text screen. Normally I don't care, I am not cheating, nor would I, but if you have to go through those lengths to be nosey, just ask to see the damn phone. It was just childish the way she went about it, and then tried to be all friendly afterward, I went to sleep on her, not eem interested. Everytime she gets to yapping with her all talk nothing to show for it sister she pulls stunts like this. If I were to cheat, this would drive it in the right direction.

I understand it's the principle of things , you guys build that trust & bond , her doing this might rub you off the wrong way . At the end of the day she's your wife fam talk to her about it , don't just stay mad . I may be young but communication is key my brother .

 

[jordman23]

Sometimes when I'm at work I go into the bathroom, and if I see someone in the stalls and nobody else in the bathroom, I will let out a great big blast comparable to Hiroshima and the whole building starts to shake.Then I go rush out the bathroom, in hopes of staying anonymous.

 

[andretti]

Got a get issues

I Greg angry at work thinking about my childhood
They say not to dwell in the past but everything is starting to make sense now I've pinpointed my depression or sadness

 

[currensy]

That's good you at least understand what makes you feel angry man. ^^



I am a very conflicted young man with too many thoughts going on at once. One day I want some close friends then other days I just want to stay by myself. I don't think half the people I know care or even really want to talk to me majority of the time. The times I do talk or try to get to know people I fail at b/c I'm forcing it or just don't feel a connection or don't know what to talk about then I just distance myself I guess and the relationship just dies and I am all alone again. IDK, just never really had that 1 person I could talk to about anything or hang with whenever. I got family buy i don't really know them either, really should get to know my grandparents more before it's too late or just ask how they are doing more.

I know people tired of hearin about females probably, but....I like or liked this one chick, and she confuses me at times. Don't even know why I like her so much or maybe it's lust? Still though, I'm feeling her but I don't know about her at times. She's extra dry & shy with me but with other people she is fine, another thing is she always be flirting with other people and I'm jealous cause it's not me but then I realize that is NOT my chick. Anyways the other day I asked why she's like that with me and told me I make her nervous and I was surprised b/c no one has ever told me that before, like wtf lol. I just don't know anymore I think I'm just gonna fall back from females til I get my mental and health right.

Some good opportunities have been coming up in my life and I can't tell if it's ******** or good luck or if I am just the big butt of a joke I don't know about. Either way I am gonna risk everything for it to manifest itself and put in the time/hours for this opportunity

I wish I had enough money to support my entire immediate family. I can see my mother getting sicker but she doesn't let it show, grandparents just getting older too and it's like damn I can't do nothing to stop any of this at all.

IDK, it's more **** I wanted to say but I guess that's enough. Think I said all of that to say that I am too self conscious/care too much about what people see me as, don't really fit in or know how to make friends, wish I could help more people, and just feel like a crappy person half the time. I believe I'm crazy but can't prove that.

 

[ogmcmxcii]

Came into the right thread

 

[MetalMario]

@M4rioL damn man, everything you just said is entirely too real. I liked the Ultron explanation too. The world is screwed, and it's only getting worse. The best thing I can do is try to not think about it, and not pay it any mind. But that's easier said than done.

Do you smoke trees at all? There are days I can feel like crap all day, and I finally get home and have that first hit, and all of a sudden I feel so much better. Not to say I use it as a crutch, but the herb definitely has healing powers in more ways than one. And its natural.

For real though, from our brief conversation in here, you seem like a cool dude who like myself can be too aware of what's going on in the world and how messed up it all is. Sometimes though you just gotta try to not think about it, and copy what Mario is doing in your avi

Yeah it's hard for me not to think about everything though if that makes sense.

I used to smoke trees, wouldn't say I was a pothead but I had my twice a week type of thing. I did get into heavier drug use though. I was always paranoid from trees in general but now I hate it. I have terrible thoughts with depression already so adding paranoia doesn't help at all. It stopped being a recreational thing. Hate how it makes me feel. I did stop drinking alcohol for a few months. now I'm more of a 1 beer a night type of guy.

I want to remain in control which is why I don't smoke trees because I feel that I'm not. All this "good guy" talk by me but I will say that molly is something I still do though. only about 4 times a year when I do go to raves. I don't down from it but I feel bad about myself that I actually feel happy for once but it came in a pill.

what adds to my depression is that fact and also when I think ahead in the future I won't be happy then so I get more sad now. How can I laugh tomorrow if I can't even smile today?

also my avy works great because like in my sig I love metal music.

 

[mwalker]

I wake up real unmotivated at times, I really don't what I want to do. I'm not the type of person to be sitting in an office , I need to be out in the open helping people. 

I really don't know how I feel a lot, if I'm upset I really can't exactly pinpoint why I am, it's hard for me to understand myself but I'm slowly getting better at it

Most of my friends are getting tied down to women while I'm trying to work to get to meet new girls but I feel I'm too weird for them 

 , being alone sometimes can suck 

I think my last relationship screwed me up in a way, I used to be attracted to a lot of girls but ever since we broke it off I haven't and I don't have any feelings for her anymore of course, we're still good friends but I'm not sure if that's healthy or not for me. I just want to feel something if that makes sense.

 

[da r entertainment]

Me and the mrs decided to separate back in November due to some issues. I met a chick later on started on seeing her and been feeling her, but my damn mind always goes back to the wife. The wife has since relocated to Arkansas with her parents and she's open to reconciliation, but she doesn't wanna move back to the Chi tho. This new chick is dope all the way around the board, but sometimes I find myself second guessing myself. The wife was up here visiting recently and we had some words and just decided to take some time and think things over. Just a crazy *** situation I swear |I

 

[ogmcmxcii]

To the dude who said he was 24 with two BMs with children on the way lol I don't even have a shred of compassion for you LMAO. Think with your brain (wait scratch that most yall ninjas running off a hamster and a wheel) and not your ****. You're just another muh****** trapped in the baby daddy/child support stereotype word to Kanye except you stiffed your own self for 18 years twice. Don't be a Deadbeat And them payments better be on time or else.

 

[currensy]

I wake up real unmotivated at times, I really don't what I want to do. I'm not the type of person to be sitting in an office , I need to be out in the open helping people. 

I really don't know how I feel a lot, if I'm upset I really can't exactly pinpoint why I am, it's hard for me to understand myself but I'm slowly getting better at it

Most of my friends are getting tied down to women while I'm trying to work to get to meet new girls but I feel I'm too weird for them   , being alone sometimes can suck 

I think my last relationship screwed me up in a way, I used to be attracted to a lot of girls but ever since we broke it off I haven't and I don't have any feelings for her anymore of course, we're still good friends but I'm not sure if that's healthy or not for me. I just want to feel something if that makes sense.

Them first 3 lines I feel you man. Th 3rd one tho... I really don't feel anything for long periods of time. Sometimes go from happy to sad in a couple of moments, then I'll just go be a dumbass and laugh at stuff for no reason. Don't really get mad at anything for long either. Do you just explore your personal interests more to find things about yourself you may not have known?