Confessions

[ahat]

I love the tropics too. It's home.

But the cold gives me energy, the heat takes it away.

 

[T Lo Sweater]

I love key don't like a certain family member that started staying with me. My house is already cramped as is

And it's so annoying cause she watches TV loud and is always on the phone. Keeps me up at night

And I can't even saying anything bc this person is so sensitive. They would def cry if I did, no matter how nice I would be. I just want them out of here

 

[gil23]

Im just living life right now not knowing whats going to happen, 5 months ago i was down at the lowest point of my life, i was in hell for 3 months and im talking 24/7. I feel like i died and was reborn somehow, Im still in repair and will be for a long time to come. At this point im learning on how to be happy on my own, this all new to me but im pushing ahead. Im not happy where Iam in life but im trying to find my way.

I just want mental sanity and ill take care of the rest.

 

[Coromanti]

I need to put more effort into socializing. I love my friends and family but I'm too good at spending time by myself. I entertain myself quite easily off of music, books, exercise, and the internet. I worry sometimes that one day I'll say f it and just go hermit mode. I'm sure I'd be comfortable but I'd like to have some sort of social life.

 

[slighted]

I need to put more effort into socializing. I love my friends and family but I'm too good at spending time by myself. I entertain myself quite easily off of music, books, exercise, and the internet. I worry sometimes that one day I'll say f it and just go hermit mode. I'm sure I'd be comfortable but I'd like to have some sort of social life.

I've found that it gets much harder to socialize/make friends after college.

I have a tight circle of homies and birds. I can "turn on" socializing when I need to, but it's draining.

 

[jmeisreal]

Mutually broke up with my ex a couple months ago, a lot of things were changing for us life/career wise that made it extremely difficult for the relationship to work. We remained friends, best friends even...but I couldn't take the pain anymore of accepting that we would never be more than that so in order to move on I told her it was best we cut off communication.

Ish got me real down in the dumps b. I never loved any woman like I loved her. From talking about marriage plans to things falling apart just like that. Life just feeling real pointless rn. Only times I feel alive is when I'm in the gym, but then its right back to that 'going through the motions' kinda feel once that post workout high wears off.

Learning that life really don't owe us anything man, no matter how good a person you can be. All we can do is trudge forward through this thing and truly appreciate the good times when they come. Stay strong fellas

 

[gil23]

Mutually broke up with my ex a couple months ago, a lot of things were changing for us life/career wise that made it extremely difficult for the relationship to work. We remained friends, best friends even...but I couldn't take the pain anymore of accepting that we would never be more than that so in order to move on I told her it was best we cut off communication.

Ish got me real down in the dumps b. I never loved any woman like I loved her. From talking about marriage plans to things falling apart just like that. Life just feeling real pointless rn. Only times I feel alive is when I'm in the gym, but then its right back to that 'going through the motions' kinda feel once that post workout high wears off.

Learning that life really don't owe us anything man, no matter how good a person you can be. All we can do is trudge forward through this thing and truly appreciate the good times when they come. Stay strong fellas

Sounds very very similar to my story but mine happened 5 months ago, the first 3 months were the worst and they have given me a perspective in life. I'm slowly finding meaning to life, still hurts a lot everyday but i'm trusting the process that no matter what everything is going to be OK.


Nothing last forever, one day you have something and next could be gone. Life is always changing, life is always evolving.

Hang in there because you are not alone. you got this fam

 

[Coromanti]

I need to get back in the gym. I'm probably in the worse shape of my entire life.

I want to be god tier. Fit, graduated, well read, owning a successful business, married in 5 years if I get my life together.

 

[Coromanti]

I've found that it gets much harder to socialize/make friends after college.

I have a tight circle of homies and birds. I can "turn on" socializing when I need to, but it's draining.

I've noticed this. You have to really make an effort to make new friends. Join groups based around hobbies/interests. That kind of thing. Otherwise you have your old friends and that guy from work you kinda chill with.

 

[squarianaa]

Man, I haven't been here for a little bit. I remember everything was about my now ex-girl and how she would always be on me over some petty sh-t.

We broke it off about a month ago now, after a whole year (Saw gil23 say "try 12" and damn... that would kill me). Up to that moment, we were doing a lot better than the last time I posted about her. But a couple days before, she started kinda having doubts. Not about us, but if she was even fit for a relationship. And after a whole year together and everything we had to go through, it really sucked to hear that. After those few days, she asked me to come over to her place. So we're chillin, not talking a lot until she sits up and starts crying (I forget what we were talking about and how we got to that point). I just remember saying "What's up? You acting like you did something horrible right now." And then she just flat out told me that she kissed another dude. My heart dropped. This coming after a few days of celebrating being together for a year. On top of that all, she piles on that she kissed 2 other girls before that (clearly not as pissed as I was when she told me she kissed another dude, but still pissed off).

The whole thing with this, her coworkers go hard at parties. She told me that she was gonna try some stuff with them. And I'm not one to be all demanding/controlling so I was like alright just be safe. And I bugged the F-CK outta her about it. And this happens. All I can say was that I cried as if I was a 3 year old again. I couldn't look at her, I didn't wanna talk to her. Nothing.

I don't know if I'm stupid or what, but I respect that she told me the truth straight up instead of hiding it like it never happened or having me find out later on in the relationship from her or someone else. We're friends still. I know I'll probably hear that I'm stupid for still being friends with her, especially with this situation. And it's worse cause we both still have feelings for each other. I want to hate her so bad, but I can't bring myself to do that. I don't know, I just know that I'ma be messed up for a while. Loving ain't gonna be the same or easy for me. I just know I'm not gonna be as laid-back & chill with future relationships. I feel like I got taken advantage of. I feel like I shoulda been selfish and told her "no just go home." I don't know, this is definitely the lowest point for me, love life wise. I just know I gotta work, focus, and rebuild myself. Cause at this moment, I'm flipping back and forth from being pissed off & sad, to being fine & happy the next. Probably just cause I hate talking about my feelings and just bottle it up.

 

[krazy]

squarianaa **** man I'm so sorry to hear about that. I really don't know what I'd do. Maybe she's right about not being fit for a relationship.

Throughout my own trials and tribulation I've found that some things in life happen as a sign, and these obstacles come as a test of your strength, willingness to love yourself and improve yourself, and ultimately to be able love others.

Keep your head up fam, if you need my PM is open

 

[squarianaa]

squarianaa **** man I'm so sorry to hear about that. I really don't know what I'd do. Maybe she's right about not being fit for a relationship.

Throughout my own trials and tribulation I've found that some things in life happen as a sign, and these obstacles come as a test of your strength, willingness to love yourself and improve yourself, and ultimately to be able love others.

Keep your head up fam, if you need my PM is open

Appreciate it man.

Besides the whole cheating factor, it sucks more because of the whole feelings part. Like, I've never felt more like myself with anyone than with her. I've never let a girl be so involved/into my family till her cause I was just kinda nervous.

Idk, I wanna be friends & trust her again (which probably sounds stupid to 90% of people). I'm not gonna sit here and say that everything was perfect and that I didn't do anything wrong. Cause I definitely had my fair share of mess ups. Me and her have talked about us maybe happening again in the future, that right now probably just wasn't the best time for us. All I know is that it's gonna be hard for me mentally to get into future relationships. Can't put a time frame on it because I don't know how much this situation is gonna change me, how I'll grow/learn from it, etc. Long road for a mental recovery, that's all I gotta say.

 

[MetalMario]

I love the cold. Makes me feel alive. My girl doesn't. Prefers warm.

When we first realised that it reminded me of the joke "why do women take volcano hot showers? Because theyre cold-blooded and it's nostalgia of where they came from"

 

[urbanmiracle]

Keep on forgetting there are other parts of the forums and just stay in the kicks sub forum. Gotta come by here more often

 

[MetalMario]

"Come for the kicks, Stay for General" - unwritten slogan of NT

 

[Coromanti]

Truth of the matter is I would be perfectly fine being married right now. Being a child of a messy divorce pretty much all my life I've wanted a nuclear family of my own. I tried one night stands twice and it just doesn't vibe with me. Technically one of those times wasn't even ONS because we were friends before it happened and it caused me a lot of problems afterword. On top of that going to Guyana and seeing my cousins my age with kids and a wife and just enjoying every minute of life made me feel like a complete degenerate. The only reason I try to meet up with girls in a not serious way is because it's highly unlikely any of them would want to follow me to a developing country they don't even come from. I'm a pretty introverted person. I don't like sharing my physical space and time with people unless there is a reason or I genuinely enjoy their company. So when I do flirt and text I already like them enough that I'm sizing them up for gf status anyway otherwise why bother.

 

[$EA$ON$ Change]

A few days ago me and my roommate had to kick out a friend we thought was a good one to us but in the end was doing people dirty as hell under our noses. It really sucks b/c we didn't want to leave him behind in the evolution of our friend group but realized that everybody can't come on this trip and he has stuff he has to sort out for himself before even getting to the point of a better life. I hate that one of my best friends has to be put in a predictament or I guess an "awkward" position since he's one of my best friends but he's also the person who got kicked out's good friend too, idk just a whole cluster **** of stupidness.

I fell in love with one of my girl best friends and I feel like a ******* fool *** *****. She don't want me she just wants friendship and that's OK b/c I gave myself this emotional L in all reality.

This year has been great looking at the big picture. I got to know myself a bit better, figure out what my passion(s) are/is, found friends for life, and became more positive minded over the months. I'm in this period of waiting for all of my positive **** to pay off and it sucks b/c of how much waiting there is. Gotta just remind myself that nothing extraordinary is built in a day and that if I stay positive while making good choices things should work out.

Being an adult is annoying lol.

 

[Coromanti]

Damn. Thinking I might have to cut the guy I consider my closest friend right now. I've just been noticing some off behavior the last few months. Could be that I didn't notice it before, or could be that it's new. Either way it's getting harder to ignore. I think he's been using my issues which I openly confide as a way to make himself feel better and sometimes even does things to keep me down. Most people compare and size up. There's nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when he has a moment of self doubt or insecurity he'll casually say something like "At least I'm not as bad in/at [x] than you" or something to that effect to make himself feel better.

Like this weekend we joined a pick up soccer game. Our team ended up being skins and so I had to take off my shirt. A lot of dudes on our team were in pretty good shape. I'm a chubby dude, my friend used to be in good shape but now is pretty average. Without skipping a beat he turns to me and says, "At first I was feeling pretty bad about myself but i kinda feel better now seeing all that." "All that" meaning my rolls. Now I'm not hurt. My cousins and I used to cook each other all day. His little moment of insecurity not gonna lower my self esteem.

Fast forward we get back to his house. He has a book on Stoicism, a subject I've been reading up on for a while. His dad gave it to him years ago and he's never read it. I asked to borrow it or at least scan a few chapters to my flash drive. He says to me "I might want to read that. Kind of a once you don't have it you kinda value it sorta thing." Now it's fine if he says no, I'm not entitled to a damn thing in this world but his reasoning struck me as kind of childish and messed up considering he told me a week prior that he already had like 10 books on his to read lead when I suggested he start reading up on Stoicism. Basically I want it because you want it even though I didn't want it before type deal. Aight, cool. I didn't bring it up again. I'll just borrow it from the library.

Another thing that came to mind that I didn't even think about until recently was that I have recently restarted doing keto for a while. I told him this and he starts coming out with all these so called downsides. I'm sure there are but I found it odd because he was the one who recommended it to me in the first place. Sure people can read new information and change their mind but I know he's a thorough researcher so he would've known about these downsides in the first place. The only difference is that this time I'm taking it seriously and am seeing results. Suddenly the diet is a terrible idea.

I've started getting into watching MLS much more frequently. Actually keeping up with player names, story lines, league information, etc. Previously I only enjoyed playing the game but something clicked in my head and now I enjoy all the other stuff as well. Maybe a month ago we're passing the ball around with some dude we met in the park and naturally start talking about soccer. When I'm about to make a point my friend decided to cut me off and say "he only just got into soccer so take what he says w/ a grain of salt" Why was that necessary to say? At least when I made my point the other guy we were passing the ball with ended up agreeing w/ me despite all the time my friend spends keeping up with soccer news.

Those are just a few of the most recent things I had to side eye him for. It just makes me feel like at least on his end a large part of our friendship is based on him having someone "lower" to compare to and feel better about himself. Dang this came out kinda long. Just needed to get this off my chest before I take my social media break at midnight.

 

[ahat]

Dude sounds like a real a-hole

 

[gil23]

So me and this chick been snapin back and forth for a minute now and she dope to talk to and everything, chick is down to earth but has some hints where she acts immmature but it's whatever . Well just This past week we started comunicating heavy and things went from 0-100 real quick, chick is definitely falling for the kid but the problem is that even tho she cool I just can't see myself with her, not as a partner. Now I'm guilty of reciprocating her affection towards me because I don't want to seem like an a hole but I feel this can turn ugly if I don't do something.

She down to smash, se loves sex. I want to keep hitting it but she already seem to be taking the serious road .

 

[lamekilla]

I think I'm starting to become a womanizer like my father and I'm fighting hard to not follow that path because I see what it did to my family and my mother and I always vowed to never play that game but I have a my main girl in my life and I can tell she's ready for that next stage of being together since friends around her are getting engaged. The thing is I never officially even made her my girlfriend yet. No indictment on her, more so me trying to quell my guilt for messing around her but it sucks because she's trying to be a good woman for me but I'm mentally immature. The two girls I mess with on my main, one of them has told me she sees herself marrying me because we have a good amount of history but just recently started smashing but she feels like I'm tryna keep her in my back pocket which I tell her no but subconsciously I am and the other one constantly calls me and tries to check up on me and wants to do positive outings like walks in the park or drinks and I only contact her for sex. Then on top of that I'm still flirting around when ultimately I'm so focused on myself and my goals that I don't feel like I can take any woman serious right now besides catching a quick nut. It's kind of bothering me because I feel like I'm gonna end up hurting a bunch of innocent woman but there's another side of me that truly doesn't care. I'm scaring myself but recognizing that past experiences have made me this way and the irony of always wanting a good woman to be a good man to and now woman are approaching me pretty often and I want to use them. I literally have found that zen point where I'm not worried about them and they are flocking. The bad karma is coming my way, I can feel it. I want to sort out what's going on with myself and my energy first. Pictures and videos of a Ferrari 488 spider keep me motivated daily. That car will be mine.

 

[squarianaa]

Smh, it's only been 11 days since I had to post about my ex... And just outta nowhere last night, she texts me.

"Omg I forgot your calculator" I let her borrow it over the summer for her class before all the BS happened.
And I just send some basic *** replies "Oh, it's whatever"
X: "I'll bring it by sometime"
Me: "Alright"
X: "You okay?"

That kinda ticked me off, cause she knows exactly how I feel. It's only been a month since it happened, and she got the nerve to really ask me if I'm good. I know she means well, but she knows, she really doesn't have to ask that dumb *** question. Plus, she coulda just left it after I said alright rather than jumping straight to that.

 

[adobecs4]

I'm at the point in my life, where I enjoy isolation/being lowkey. Unless I'm with my lady, or family occasionally, I really don't want to deal with people. Even m boy who I consider fam, will want to come chill and play Madden or whatever, and I'll flake because I enjoy being away from people's so much.

 

[ROYGBiV]

It's a trap. If you don't really need the calculator then let her keep it. Honestly, idk why you'd keep in contact with an ex.

She's smart, well played by her.

 

[gil23]

If you really want to heal I would block her number or just tell her stright up that there shouldn't be any contact.

It was hard for me not to try to contact her but I would just go back to how things played out and crappy I know I would feel after communication . Clean break is the best, I still miss the idea of us but she is a different person now so thats not possible anymore.