Confessions

back in 2010 this girl said I was a mouse with Lion potential..words never hurts so bad in my life..fast forward 2013 I dare her to say that
 
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idk why but for some reason i feel like im not gonna be on this planet anymore. i rarely have dreams but the few times i do its about me getting jumped or shot or stabbed etc

i mean im pretty content with how things are going for me. i have one more class tomorrow and im done with the semester. in september im gonna be designing the newspaper for my college. about to stack up this money and work 2 jobs and kick it with my boys in the summer

yet i still feel like im not gonna live much longer for some reason
 
your just paranoid dude forreal..I think we all get those weird feelings..i know I get em all the time...just focus on other stuff
 
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I feel like I live a sheltered life and its greatly affecting how I go about things and how I talk to people. I'm about to turn 30 at the end of the year and still live with my parents, graduated from college 6 years ago and still cant find a good paying job
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I am currently working, but its has nothing to do with what i went to school for. I struggle trying to figure out what I want in life but I just can't come up with a straight answer. This **** sucks man
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baby steps.

unless you are the only child and or your parents are at that stage of 'needing to be taken care of', 

move out.

get a mentor.

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idk why but for some reason i feel like im not gonna be on this planet anymore. i rarely have dreams but the few times i do its about me getting jumped or shot or stabbed etc

i mean im pretty content with how things are going for me. i have one more class tomorrow and im done with the semester. in september im gonna be designing the newspaper for my college. about to stack up this money and work 2 jobs and kick it with my boys in the summer

yet i still feel like im not gonna live much longer for some reason

I remember feelin like this around my late teens early 20's..I was in the streets heavy running with the wrong crowd straight wildin not giving a F about myself or anyone else for that matter.. Some of my friends got killed, got shot and locked up and naturally I just felt like I was next up.. I dealt with that dying young feeling for a long time and I would share it with my girl at the time and fam but they thought I was just a prisoner of what was going on around me..
Im 27 now and a hell of alot more focused on being positive, accomplishing goals and handling my business as s man to think about dying young anymore. Just take life for what it is when its your time its your time, don't stress about dying prematurely.. Im a firm believer in "no one dies before they serve the purpose they were put here for" so go out and live it up fam..
 
I made a beta move today. A girl was staring at me 4 feet away at the gym for at least 3-4 seconds and she was pretty cute but I didn't make a move or introduced myself. I just went on and did my preacher curls like I was zoning out and not paying any attention. I was never caught up in a situation like that and I chickened out because I couldn't bare the embarrassment if somehow the feelings are not mutual. I tend to worry and that worrying is just your mind making up scenarios you don't want. :{
 
I finally deleted my facebook and it feels so good! No more seeing what anyone is up to, no more seeing former crushes do their thing, no more distractions.

My new fb has my groups and the 7 or 8 people I care about.

kill that noise if flava flav can get wiminz before the show so can anybody.
lol. He is rich. Women are trying to be his baby mama. I forgot what it is called but they are groupies that do nothing but go to shows so they have sex with celebrities to have their babies. I know one rockstar pays 300,000 a year in child support :{

Nas had to pay $50 a month in child support at one point.

My dude puts too much value on external and material factors. Son is beyond any help nt can provide.
Cuz nothing else worked

Anyway I am studying for the CPA exam so you are right. It is beyond help nt can provide, but it is a doorway to most things that i want.
 
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you really have issues sunshine.....you've been sulking in this thread for a minute...enjoy life..and if you can't ...well....
 
In all honesty the last post that started these post was just self reflection. I am improving all the things I dont like about myself. I have a while to go but I can knock at least half of it out by the end of the year.

That's really all that as was. I wasnt sulking.

Sunshineblotters, your perception on life is interesting to say the least
It comes with my childhood. My parents were poor then they were "rich" and then they lost it all. Then we wasnt poor, we was "po". We couldnt afford the "or".

I started life in Nigeria. I've been where rich people ski in the Swiss alps. I've seen things that people shouldn't see out here in Chiraq.

Few understand people the way I understand people. I stand by it.
 
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In all honesty the last post that started these post was just self reflection. I am improving all the things I dont like about myself. I have a while to go but I can knock at least half of it out by the end of the year.

That's really all that as was. I wasnt sulking.

Sunshineblotters, your perception on life is interesting to say the least
It comes with my childhood. My parents were poor then they were "rich" and then they lost it all. Then we wasnt poor, we was "po". We couldnt afford the "or".

I started life in Nigeria. I've been where rich people ski in the Swiss alps. I've seen things that people shouldn't see out here in Chiraq.

Few understand people the way I understand people. I stand by it.

We should have a cup of coffee if you're ever out in Los Angeles.
 
I swear I am a young, black George Costanza, in that we're both misunderstood, stressed out, dudes who can't let anything go.

I feel like no one gets me, or enjoys my company, like people just tolerate me.

The only for girl that I like, is with some other dude that graduated last year, even though we never went out, she's got me feeling these " Marvin's Room " emotions.
Been feeling like this lately lol

I just try and do what it do though.
 
Things couldn't be any better for me as of right now, I finally found an ol lady(Southern way of saying wifey, or girlfriend) i trust. She means the world to me, and i love her dearly.. I used to be like all of yall, i was crossed by women(chick faked a pregnancy, ex's sleeping with friends) and i was afraid of love for a while, didn't want no parts of it. I was just knocking down co workers selling them dreams doing them real dirty, until a female co worker got me back. So Jan 1st i said to myself i wasn't gonna mess with anymore co workers ever again, met my ol lady on Jan 9th. I'm just as ugly as any of all could claim to be, but i am very confident in myself, and that's something i've always had. I hit the gym, and i've maintained my weight, i was once up to 350 got down to 270, right now i weigh 285, alot of it is muscle since people think i'm lying about my weight.. I posted to let you all know there is hope out there for all of you.. Congrats to all of you who graduated recently, recently got married.. That's what i'm working on now, starting a family and being a great father like my dad, and brothers.. I'll continue to check the thread to see how yall are doing... God bless people
 
Sigh, I'm tired of all these Jordan's and Nikes. I feel idiotic for even purchasing them. Let alone the price I paid for them. As well as the time I put on it. I could have been doing something a lot better, and with the money I have spent on all of these shoes I could have bought another car.

I have now gotten a deep hatred of most of my surrounding peers. It wasn't always this bad, but the little kid mentality has really gotten on my last nerve. 

But none of that matters.
 
^Same. But my collection is a lot more modest than most.

Also hate my peers. Its a cut throat world out there. I let my guard down for a minute and I am paying for it.


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Seeing all of my friends graduating from med school is a reality check for me.

Despite whatever successes I've come across as an entrepreneur, and the successes waiting for me in the next few years, there really is nothing that compares to success in academia.

I'm going to hit my med school apps extra hard this year and apply as soon as June hits.
 
^Really? I'm sitting here wishing I could be an entrepreneur. Making money without succumbing to modern day slavery. **** this planet and its standards.
 
^Really? I'm sitting here wishing I could be an entrepreneur. Making money without succumbing to modern day slavery. **** this planet and its standards.

I don't know, maybe it's just the whole "grass is greener" mindset taking place. I just know that it's what I'm feeling right now, especially with the swarm of graduation photos and congratulations in my FB newsfeed.
 
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