Funniest thing someone said/read on NT?

[nightruans]

a recent photoshop request that had dude shooting the jumpshot and he wanted everything around him black and white... anyone have that link? thread was absolutely epic!

 

[je ne sais quoi]

Originally Posted by JFMartiMcDandruff

who's the dude that said something about a foot dipped in butter, or somethin like that? There was an appreciation post for him this year, i can't remember his name.

Kerry?

MR MONDAY NIIGHT wrote:

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ooIRON MANoo wrote:

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Kerry's stories were the *%#% back in the day. His word play had me.

Kerry is that dude with the stories

I thought it was made clear a lil' while ago my dude, Henz put one on reserve for the boy a good while ago. Once I seen that post in the Retro forum shoot up 10 pages in a day, I knew it was gonna be mayhem tryin' to snatch up a pair so I put in my order early. If I were a betting man, I'd guess that while I was hittin' son via text to hold me down a 11, you prolly were in the crib drinkin' a 40oz of melted butter. If it's any consolation Ant, they kinda fit narrow. I would imagine that your ankles would prolly rise up outta the sides of the kicks like Sunday morning buscuits, so you'd prolly be better off just rockin' the boxes instead....

Fall back Ruben Studdard, Henz is already holdin' me down wit' a pair. He's the reason I aint gotta touch the town all crazy now because I know I got my pair solidified. You been hatin' hard for a minute. First you try to stop me from hollerin' at SoleSistaAsh, she be sweatin' in her pics like Jill Scott & you know that's my speed right there. Now you tryin' to squeeze those glazed hams you call feet into my pair of 1/2 Cents. Not likely big daddy, I aint feelin' that right there. Yo Henz if you're readin' this, I got you next week B. My funds kinda light, I just hit my ex wit' some hush money because she was gonna post some less than flattering pics of me on Myspace because we broke up so I had to give her a couple bills to shut the up. So next week, I got you. I'm in NYC, we gonna link up, we gon hit Peg & all that...

I gotta give you credit homie, you were one of the few brave souls that participated at the last NY summit. See for those that don't understand, this was a seperate summit from the one SoleSupreme tried to orchestrate. We didn't purchase airtime during the Super Bowl & hand out flyers at the mall like he did to promote this. This summit was orchestrated by yours truly with the help of ABeautifulHaze. He provided the crib & the strippers & I provided the dozen or more timid NY NTers that haven't seen the cooch since they came outta one. So when you put that together, it was a room filled with liquor & a strong stench of syphillis. The night started out slow. All the guys sat along the wall not talkin' to the girls like it was a 7th grade dance, but once that Hennesey started flowin', the donkeye started to come outta some of us. I remember gettin' on my back & lettin' one of the strippers rub her itchy lips back & forth on my face. Not even my girl does that to me. That's why when I got home that night I kicked her in her sleep. So you see, even though it was a small summit (probably like 16 heads), it was a successful one because we kept it grimey. I coulda caught gonnereah on my lips & still woulda been like "Now that's a summit!" & that's what we need to do in order to make this one successful. For every West Coast dude that's gonna come through, they should have like 2 #+@#%! on each arm. All that ice Ben be rockin', he better have half a dozen #+@#%! rockin' ski coats & Ugg boots on his arm. They aint even gotta be cute. They can be on some Yao Ming frankenstien lookin' stuff. I'm just sayin' they gotta be in attendence. I'll see what I can shovel up from my pile of filth. I gotta couple of itchy #+@#%! in my lineup that I might be able to bring. I just don't want no jokes from ya'll during the summit like "This dude Kerry came through wit' some autistic chicks". Ya'll know how sensitive I am wit' the jokes & stuff.....

Shorty called this dude Bonk a "gentle giant". Son.....how you let.....a stripper.....wit' absolutely nothin' to her name except a crush proof box of Newports & $48 in singles & dollar coins......call you a "gentle giant"? My dude Bonk had a look of discontent on his face & I don't even know what the hell discontent means but son face look like that. Even though them strippers smelled like the seats on a jail bus, I still wanted to rip that night. They came wit' an entourage though so I aint really know how to put my bid in. Them chicks had like half a dozen people each wit' 'em. Like one dude had like a cane that pulled out into a long %!# knife, he was prolly the manager or somethin'. Then there was this other dude that stood by the door in case somebody tried to slip it in right quick & run off. That was my idea until I seen homie by the door. Son had them Carl Weathers muscles & I wasn't tryin' to get blood on nobody's Dead Serious hoodie. Them joints dropped like 3 days before the summit & almost ay'body had one on at the summit. Them strippers prolly took one look at them hoodies & knew that dudes was virgins. I wouldn't mind doin' the whole "stripper" thing again. That's why we need the right people spearheading this thing. Ben has the finances to pull it off, Haze has the connects wit' the hood strippers & I got a prescription for Penicilian wit' like one more refill left on it. Let's get the wheels in motion people, it's almost June...

 

[mrsneakerman]

^^^^

 

[rawex5]

Originally Posted by DMoney82

Originally Posted by upandcoming

But I already made this less than a month ago...same stories posted..
http://niketalk.yuku.com/...-Really-Use--Lulz?page=1

Your thread sucked. Let it go

Not the same and what DMoney said.

 

[wanksta23]

story about the dude taking a showing and how he pulled a matrix move to grab his turd that was going to come out

 

[gumbottombandit]

5resh5ab......."what are u 80s babies talking about Mufasa is the dad but i watched the clip on doubted and it is powerful the evil one his named bruise or cut."

Face82......."Jrose ain't lettin +%% fly.I switched my IP adress, I done even made a profile under a female gender....try to switch up age, name, location...type a whole paragraph under the application as far as why I wana join NT.

This dude be like...

"Not this time Face! Stop trying, It's to early, I'll think about it next month"

I Came back with a name KungFuPedoBear, he was like "Nice try! Your sick you MORON!!!".

I'm like what the +%% , dude got Spy Tech or something??"

cacz0rz......."nick cannons penis has been inside murr currs vaj... now that gives me reason to suck his #$@!!"

truubrasilian33......."First of all no pics sry yall im not talking to anyone in particular but when i start talking to them i need to know whats next..
Example: i was talking to this chick we were texting you know dayly basses within a week.. nd she txt me saying goodnight nd all of that stuff..
nd when i said keep that smile on your face. she said "only for you"..she must be feeling soemthing right? alright Nt wats my nxt step other than texting...
please no whip it out comment reason is I still got a couple of more inches to go."

 

[jfmartimcdandruff]

Yes, Kerry

 

[sonofsam]

lol this one had me dying..

 

[klipschorn]

Kerry...

Anybody have more?  The wittiness...

 

[sofa king awsm]

Originally Posted by The Natural Mystic

Ninjahood trying to explain why a llama(the gun) is called a llama.

This guy said because it spits like one

and the "girls pee out the butt 

" multiposts

 

[rowenarrow]

Originally Posted by coryturner

Originally Posted by CaponeCartels

Originally Posted by StonedFace


that story had me in tears 

real talk its not funny when it happen to you.......last month me and my baby momma got back together so one day i wanna take her and my baby out so I call her and she didnt answer so i called her 10 more times and she still didnt answer so I went to her crib and her car was parked outside her house and it was another car a 1988 cutlass on 22 inch blocks so I knock on the door and no one came to the door but she left the door open so I just walked in so when i walk upstairs I hear a dude moaning so I open the door and i see my baby momma sucking dude up they both butt naked so i drop to my knees in shock and then he nutted on my baby momma face while im sitting right there and then he told me my kids on your baby momma face and they look better then your son so me and him started fighting and after i beat his #+% he got his gun so i dipped

smh 

Damn, reminds me not to trust these females

 

[thatpersianguy]

Originally Posted by HOOD17

Originally Posted by needsomejays

Originally Posted by Lakersfan1

One of the best threads ever; My supplement Review: Extenze http://niketalk.com/topic...iew-ExtenZe-12-20?page=4
"I ain't tryna get hooked on the performance enhancers though - *!*% around and have a shortie puttin' a asteriks next to my name in her phone and !+%#...

" My **** is long, but I want it to be thicker. Before, it was Tayshaun Prince. Thanks to Extenze, it's LeBron James now."

"no worries they sell this stuff at the corner stores...habibi don't care if you buy extenze or not"

"Now this %@@% right here my +%+%$...this %@@% right here will have you busting all over $%%!#*...having her look like she got spooged on like the ending of a gang-bang scene. My lady has BANNED me from using this because it made me too hard and aggressive. Not good for you dudes who go raw like a pound of ground beef...cause it makes you fertile too."

 

this one is also from a thread on extenze

"I took some extenze once and it had my thang harder thantrying to explain the color purple to a blind man. it just makes you feel likea beast....I had on some warm up pants and the wind blew..i almost busted off."

 

[rolaholic]

Originally Posted by rowenarrow

Originally Posted by coryturner

Originally Posted by CaponeCartels


real talk its not funny when it happen to you.......last month me and my baby momma got back together so one day i wanna take her and my baby out so I call her and she didnt answer so i called her 10 more times and she still didnt answer so I went to her crib and her car was parked outside her house and it was another car a 1988 cutlass on 22 inch blocks so I knock on the door and no one came to the door but she left the door open so I just walked in so when i walk upstairs I hear a dude moaning so I open the door and i see my baby momma sucking dude up they both butt naked so i drop to my knees in shock and then he nutted on my baby momma face while im sitting right there and then he told me my kids on your baby momma face and they look better then your son so me and him started fighting and after i beat his #+% he got his gun so i dipped

smh 

Damn, reminds me not to trust these females

I remember this man 

"my kids on your baby mommas face look better than your son",the amount of disrespect  

 

[tizoni]

FOG wrote:

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Nktran001 wrote:

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I would offer the criminal to pipe my girl and me at the same time just to trick 'em to let me loose.. then, go and pipe the criminal myself and ask him how does he like it?

http://niketalk.com/topic/300137/A-bisexual-criminal-breaks-into-your-house-vol-choices?page=9

 

[kaycurrency]

Originally Posted by Supermanblue79

Originally Posted by Ninjahood

"problem wit 95% of ya outfits on NT is they TERRY CLOTH charmin softlookin...like some regular hooligan can open hand 5 finger slap da fireoutta you

and all you gonna do is pick up your houndstooth paper boy derby from da floor and keep it moving wit da

face on.

ilike to look threatening, mascule and intimidating..i don't feel rightuntil a white lady is clutching her purse THAT much tighter when shewalks by me

"

Recession Proof Post-  too much gold here.

This.

And when Ninja broke down the roles of each member of Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles crew....

 

[solecity]

Originally Posted by Benssick

Originally Posted by green rhino123

not a story, but...

DEAD

 

[goldenchild9]

Originally Posted by The Natural Mystic

Ninjahood trying to explain why a llama(the gun) is called a llama.

This guy said because it spits like one

Randomly thought about this the other day and started cracking up.
Son said "dey call it da llama because it rapidly spits like one."

This thread has me shedding real tears.

 

[pharelfor3]

This thread. wow

 

[chrisqo]

-Smush Parker pokin someone's gurl on NT
-Mike Jones wearing fake jordan (see through 7s)

-any thread involving the niketalk detectives

 

[toast1985]

PYP in the music forum

 

[yeahitsrust]

Originally Posted by toast1985

PYP in the music forum

That was gold.

 

[south sole]

The McFury and McDamb comments had me dying for a minute recently, along with the gifs. 

it still baffles me how u goin in a McD's lookin for a six pack of nuggets and then sumhow end up on the counter before getting served with a 9 iron... 

come for munchies, leave in ambulance 

 

[streetsmarts]

Originally Posted by gumbottombandit

5resh5ab......."what are u 80s babies talking about Mufasa is the dad but i watched the clip on doubted and it is powerful the evil one his named bruise or cut."

link please? i dont remember writing that 
-chocolateboi

 

[n ll k 3]

Originally Posted by jaywalkinsince91

funniest post in that wale=diva thread hands down
http://niketalk.yuku.com/...ale-Diva-Vol-Yes-I-m-Mad

This is Thread Of The Year, EASY.

When [color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]CAKE[/color] referred to Rell as "young man" it was OVER.

Haven't seen ether so strong in all my time here...and to such a justifiable candidate.

 

[pharelfor3]

reading thru the WALE post now. this is getting good. About halfway thru. Damn slow comp