HEARTBREAK

I find that when you work upon yourself, knowing your weaknesses, your own foibles, unsavory types won't come near you.
 
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Time will heal those mental wounds.

I drove by me and my ex old place the other day.

I forgot to look and reminisce.

Def a good indicator that I ain't even thinking bout it anymore.

Take your time, do something you love and be slow to date until you truly good. Don't wanna run off a good girl while your still mad and fresh off your ex.

Even though women be in another relationship right away. She might have 2 or 3 while you're healing. They racing against the clock. You can take your time.

Peace
 
nawghtyhare said:
yes i have
spoken about her a few times on here............


It was the fall of 2003
This girl was like a rose blooming in a pile of ****
She had braces wore glasses
Had dusty *** white/white air forces
She was white/mexican
Long black flowing hair
Perky ****
Lil cute butt
Slim waist
Pretty face
But pretty much a ******* square
I scooped her up when she was nothing
Put her on to good music and artist to listen to
Helped her get contacts
Showed her the proper jordans and dunks and air forces to wear
Helped her ice out the right clothes to show off her body while still being classy and looking nice
Bruhs I showed her what it was like to eat at the Cheesecake Factory
Man I even ate the box religiously
Her juices tasted so damn sweet
Like nectar
Introduced her to moms
Always ate dinner at her fams house
Used to beat it up on her couch while her parents and brother in the next room
Used to finger her while at the movie theater
Used to have her come over to my house and beat it up all day
Sneak her in at night and beat that thang up till early morning
Used to catch the bart train every wed Friday sat and Sunday
From concord to sf to meet her after school and go to the movies
Or take her shopping or out to eat
BRUHS I was in love
I loved her bruhs
Like I really did
I wanted her to have my baby :smh:
I even sucked her toes
I wanted to trap her
She was a legit 10 after I fixed her up
She was a 6 before
She lied to me bruhs
She lied
She started talking to this dude Mike
Bruhs
She was seeing him behind my back
I wanted to fight dude so damn bad
But she was playing games
Idk if she was just playing me
Or both of us
I legit had tears
I thought she was mine
All mine
She was until Mike came in the picture
I gave her a choice
:smh: :smh: :smh:
She choose Mike
I was hurting yall
I was hurting
Took a minute to get over it
Honestly if I'm being real im still not
I'm fb friends and ig friends with her
We watched the notebook together
BRUHS
She said she wanted that to be us
And I believed her :smh:
It really hurt me took a few months for me to move on
I saved her only for her to run off to someone else.
ive reopened the wound now..........
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Pics?
 
BE0EB5BA-8C54-4B24-9496-AA4CBA421059.jpeg


7 Stages of Grief

This is from the “Bargaining” stage. This the stage I get stuck on.

Also the “what ifs” start here. The worst.
 
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Never experienced it, but the fear of it happening made me hesitate to put myself fully out there for a woman for a minute.

My father's words were always ringing in my ears though, "Make sure you have something to offer before you try to get with a woman". He wasn't talking about finances. Personal maturity, goals, code of conduct you hold yourself to, standards, and the ability to be there for a woman mentally and emotionally. Moving to a bigger city, exposure to many other cultures and ethnic backgrounds fuels growth. One night I'm styling some salsa moves and the next you sitting in some dusty room with a Jamaican dude who has crates of vinyl that he's teaching you about. Travel. Put yourself in positions that you are uncomfortable in and learn to adapt. Many nights I rolled with friends that I was the only native English speaker. Ended up learning to speak other languages.

As far as women my mental state was we had to choose each other. If I saw a girl and she wanted to be with someone else, why would I stress it? It is her choice. I wanted to be with someone that was choosing me. Problem is many guys see someone they are attracted to and manipulate the situation to nearly force the girl to be with them. Make it hard for the girl to say no, isolate her so she only has one choice, you. If the girl had choices she may not choose you. And after being with you for a while when she finally gets a chance to be around some other dudes she's gone. Had plenty of friends that when they were interested in someone would disappear. How you not going to bring her around your friends? LOL. When I met my wife, first time we went out I had all my boys come out with us. She either going to be with me or not. Her choice. Can't live in fear of losing.

My view is probably a little different than most. Come from a large family and have several sisters and a strong mother. I always treated women how I'd want someone to treat my sisters if they went out.
 
soychulo said:
Never experienced it, but the fear of it happening made me hesitate to put myself fully out there for a woman for a minute.

My father's words were always ringing in my ears though, "Make sure you have something to offer before you try to get with a woman". He wasn't talking about finances. Personal maturity, goals, code of conduct you hold yourself to, standards, and the ability to be there for a woman mentally and emotionally. Moving to a bigger city, exposure to many other cultures and ethnic backgrounds fuels growth. One night I'm styling some salsa moves and the next you sitting in some dusty room with a Jamaican dude who has crates of vinyl that he's teaching you about. Travel. Put yourself in positions that you are uncomfortable in and learn to adapt. Many nights I rolled with friends that I was the only native English speaker. Ended up learning to speak other languages.

As far as women my mental state was we had to choose each other. If I saw a girl and she wanted to be with someone else, why would I stress it? It is her choice. I wanted to be with someone that was choosing me. Problem is many guys see someone they are attracted to and manipulate the situation to nearly force the girl to be with them. Make it hard for the girl to say no, isolate her so she only has one choice, you. If the girl had choices she may not choose you. And after being with you for a while when she finally gets a chance to be around some other dudes she's gone. Had plenty of friends that when they were interested in someone would disappear. How you not going to bring her around your friends? LOL. When I met my wife, first time we went out I had all my boys come out with us. She either going to be with me or not. Her choice. Can't live in fear of losing.

My view is probably a little different than most. Come from a large family and have several sisters and a strong mother. I always treated women how I'd want someone to treat my sisters if they went out.
Click to expand...
This is fantastic. Self awareness, knowing your limitations. Understanding respect, and then how to receive such. Peace.
 
hand2handking said:
official nt misogyny thread?
Click to expand...
It could go that way, but I am being sincere. I see many anti woman posts on this site, which may be a small representation of how men come to see women as they do. I cringe at the commentary at times, and I know that much of the dissent has to do with pain. I will not belittle someone who has been hurt, but I will defend women from men who are bullies due to their pain. Look within, seek solace by building a citadel of true confidence, not ego.
 
KHUFU said:
It could go that way, but I am being sincere. I see many anti woman posts on this site, which may be a small representation of how men come to see women as they do. I cringe at the commentary at times, and I know that much of the dissent has to do with pain. I will not belittle someone who has been hurt, but I will defend women from men who are bullies due to their pain. Look within, seek solace by building a citadel of true confidence, not ego.
Click to expand...

i think nt probably needs this
 
I experienced it at a young age. I used it as a learning experience. It’s hard not to dwell on it, but that just complicates things more. Best way is to try and move on from it as quickly as possible. The more you think about it, the more it just eats away at you.
 
Ehh ... it happens ,,got hurt was sad then soon after (days,weeks,months) back at it with the next chick & move on ....as far as “changing the way i felt towards women” i will say i think differently in my 30s than i did in my 20s ...i look for women for fun & thats it ,not prioritizing them if anything happens on the serious tip so be it but its not something i look forward too i keep my mind busy trying to make something out of myself in life
 
Had my heart broken twice.... made me ruthless and been going raw since, plus have no intentions in this lifetime to get in another relationship again.
 
ahat20 said:
Yikes
Click to expand...
Have you had your heart broken? If so, how did you deal? Do you date women outside of your faith? If so, how do you view them, as opposed to someone who believes as you do? Don't be afraid, nobody is going to judge you here.
 
Happened twice in my life.

One was the girl that I liked through out HS. She basically played me, ended my friendship with my best friend. We 'hooked up' the summer after graduation, went away for a week for a youth camp. When I got back and called her she said "who is this?" Found out she was getting her back blown out by her ex while I was gone. Ended that quick and she wanted to stay with me.

Other girl was a family friend who lived in Denver. Was close to packing up and moving to Boulder to get my degree and be with her. But no, she played me and ended up with a guy who she married, had a kid, and got divorced because the guy was violent. She's a single mom today and we've kept things cordial when she visits CA. Wife knows about her and doesn't like her lmao. Oh well.

Looking back at it, sure, I learned from it. But damn, I could've saved a lot of time by letting go quick.
 
Never dealt with full on heartbreak and honestly i don't think I'd handle it well. Definitely dealt with several mild disappointments.
 
I was a young pup in high school. Was wit this Rican mami for a bit. She broke up with me and didn't tell me. Everybody knew but me. They telling me go talk to J-------. I find her midday. Turns out she was ducking me. Told me it's over. (Scared lil *****) I ain't t eem ask why, whats the point.

Felt like trash. Went home and did not come outta my room. Parents thought I was sick. Music always been therapy, don't remember what I bumped. Felt like trash but rode it out. Next couple days, can't remember, felt fine and life went on. Found out she left me for some lil Spanish *****. Saw her hugging on him in the gym. SMH.

(Months later -or maybe to next year- I heard she wanted me back. I was lik popular for some reason, not sure why. But she Sent her home girl to ask and see what I would say. Told her to have her come ask me to my face, so I know it's real. She asked me. I said "HELL ****IN No!" Embarrassed the **** outta her. My boys and her girls was there. Felt so good.)

The time tho when she dump me, that was my first ever break up. The magnitude or investment wasn't nothing but it was my first time being vulnerable and getting rejected. Hurt bad. In my opinion, emotional pain is worse than physical. With physical you can have a general time table of recovery and the are clear methods of treatment. Emotional pain, you got no clue when healing starts or ends and it's hard to proactively treat, you can just try to number yourself.

Some years later in college, had a girl I was serious wit and she broke up with me. I was scared that the same emotions from my first break up were gonna hit me when I really obsorbed the fact,cus I was really invested. I was so surprised that I was good. And didn't feel ****. I been feeling invincible since then. I realize I couldn't be hurt like that again. I'm was Teflon.

(I'm not the one who does alit of typing in posts. Hell I skip **** that look to long to read. But here I am. Some real ****)
 
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