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- Oct 3, 2007
You gotta be a cold dude if you willingly walk out. Would be on my mind all the time. And I don't think people realize that there are just as much dead beat moms out there too.
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having kids with a piece of ish deadbeat female is an l..I'm not sure if I understand this correctly but you refered to your kids as an L?
That sad brother..
Some dudes are selfish, they just ain't ready to put another human life before their own...to me just because you provide financially doesn't exclude you from the deadbeats club, a child needs more than a couple of dollars a month, they need guidance and love from their dad, not just on weekends but all the time...my boy let him BM take his son to a different state and he justifies it, I just sip my tea because if I really told him how I feel, I don't think he would take it lightly...either way is not my business.
not truenobody can keep you from YOUR child. Period.
I've read every post so far and yes there is dead beat moms too.
I'm going to say this as myself then, it was my decision to have sex with my girl, and IF we were separated and she got pregnant, i will not resent her bc as a man i made the choice to have sex, its not the kids fault. So if me and my girl are not on the same page, thats no excuse why the kid should be raised by a single parent. I will be there everyday whenever he/she needs me, you don't have to have a good relationship with the mom, but don't take it out on the kid.
I'm sorry but some of you guys are saying " i don't know the situation of the person" or " i don't know what that person is going through " i can't understand these excuses bc it was a decision by you to lay with her, don't take it out on the kid and walk out.
when you have a child you are not financially and mentally ready for it is an LI swear when you view a child as an L, child is doomed before he even started.
I remember someone had it as their avy for a min and I've been wondering ever since.
youcan't legally impregnate a woman without their consent.I don't understand that "it's your fault for letting him bust in you" mentality, when it can be dudes fault for not strapping up in the first place. Don't blame the woman for a conscious decision the man made to not protect himself.
And then even after that happened, nobody can keep you from YOUR child. Period.
Some dead beat dads never had parents growing up so they think that the child be okay with out a father figure....
But at the same time I can understand how many fathers are alienated from their children because of BM's like your buddy's.
The laws in this country give women preferential treatment. So much so that most of the time when two people split the children go with the mom because if the cops show up they're going to let her take the kids until the court hashes out custody.
So until then fathers are in limbo, paying child support and being marginalized. They have to see their kids when the mom sees fit, and what's worse is if they were married to their BM and owned a house together she takes the house as well.
So now a dude is probably living in an apartment, working double time to piece together his life while BM has the crib. Imagine how some men feel after barely being able to see their kids, losing their home & then to add insult to injury seeing another man enjoy the fruits of his labor when he moves in with BM.
I can understand and even empathize with some men who end up being "db dads" because at some point it's like what is a man to do?
Working X amount of hours a week to pay CS and rebuild his own savings account, I bet they would miss some weekends with the kids because I would imagine its damned hard to walk up that drive way of your old home seeing another man in it with the mother of your children to pick up your kids.
I don't think all absentee dads meant to be that way. I mean my own mom ripped me from my dad and took me to another state before their divorce was final and he tried his best to visit but when he would my mom would be verbally and physically abusive to him (they later made amends and remarried but that's besides the point).
I don't fault him for not always being there because I know there was more to the story.
And I don't judge others because I don't know their story. All we as fathers can do is try our very best to dedicate our lives to the children we brought into this world.
Sometimes society however, complicates that for some men.
Now where's the fun in that?Ya'll foolsjust needa up your standards and ONLY smash chicks ya'll wouldn't be ashamed bringing around friends/fam